The day to become the final boss

Well, this is an unscrupulous, unscrupulous, absurd and brain-destroyed story that is forced out under the pressure of the big crab, and has a completely different style of painting from the main text-you can take it as a counterfeit.

——[Off-line spoof big episode]——

Well, a long time ago... (well, not too long ago, just a few years ago) there was a kid with a big nose named Severus Snape.

Snape's family was very poor, so poor that rats didn't even dig holes in his house, but there was a bastard father who liked to go to taverns to get drunk, gamble, and not do business.

Mrs. Snape always sighed at him with a sad face, and the neighbors always pointed at her. Seeing that Snape was getting older day by day but looked like bean sprouts, in order to prevent the children from starving to death at home, She decided to let little Mr. Snape leave home to fend for himself.

Little Snape ==: "Mom, I want to stay here, at least there are walls and a roof at home, and there is no shelter from the wind and rain when I go out - although the roof at home is always leaking."

Mrs. Snape: "No, my boy, you must leave the house, or one of us will starve to death."

Snape: "...".But I still have no way out.

Mrs. Snape: "You can live without home, boy, we are wizards and have magical powers."

Snape was very surprised: "...Our whole family? But I don't eat people. I think I prefer beef to human flesh." Wizards are bad people who goug children's eyes and hearts, and they were suddenly told that the whole family is evil Creatures are so scary.

Snape Jr. said he was frightened.

Mrs. Snape wiped her tears with a handkerchief, "No, child, only you and I are wizards. We have magic powers but don't eat people."

In this way, the young Mr. Snape was forced to leave the house, carrying a wand of equipment, a piece of croissant, a set of old patched clothes, and a few bottles of potions, to the legendary wizard's paradise "Magic World".On that bare hill, he looked back and saw Mrs. Snape waving the fringed flowered handkerchief at him from a distance.

Information NO1: Severus Snape

Gender: Male 11 years old

HP: 5MP: 10

Equipment: wand 4 bonus, the rest are 0

Title: Baby Wizard Level 1

scene 1

Crossing the streets and alleys, wading across the river, Snape followed his mother's instructions and got into the dense forest.

Where is the wizarding world?

Snape looked painfully at the thin paper in his hand, the numb drawing was too abstract, damn it, there is a circle outside, labeled: Muggle world, inside a circle, labeled: Wizarding world, the one in the middle looks like Suspicious objects in the house, marked: Entrance to the Magic World.

Who can read and understand! ! ! !

Silently crumpling the paper into a ball and throwing it out, little Snape cried inwardly: Ma Ma, do you dare to be more unreliable?

At this moment, a snow-white rabbit with Eggy's sadness in the shape of holding a heart walked by weepingly, Snape's dark eyes suddenly shone with blinding light, and he suddenly burst into tears. , a wand pokes through—

The rabbit was poked to death. ==

However, in order to show that its death is not worth it, it burst into a tragic cry of "Chi Chi!" before dying!Those who hear it weep.

Pluck the hair, put it on the grill, and grill the rabbit over charcoal.

Narrator (where did you come from) Aria: [Oh, such a sad rabbit, how can you bear it?Didn't you hear its unwilling cry? 】

Snape: "I'm hungry." Tore off a piece of rabbit meat and chewed intoxicatedly, "Please translate."

Narrator: 【It said—"That's not how the wand is used! Please give me a normal way to die!!"】

Thus, with the help of the narration, the young wizard Snape obtained the first skill "Shenfeng Wuying".

scene 2

Life is much easier with practical skills, at least there are many things to eat in the jungle. ==But the small days can't be too happy, soon at night, everywhere is dark, and there are no lights.

While driving away the mosquitoes around him, little Snape complained that he liked to stay away from the crowd. The wizards who lived in the wilderness in the magic world were all savages.

He is now very eager to have a lamp, so that he can slap the swollen mosquitoes attached to his arms to death.

His wish soon came true when he saw something glowing in the darkness.He walked over and found that it was a strange sunflower.

"Hello." With a bright smile on her face, the obedient, cute and sweet Sunflower sister bowed politely with a huge flower plate. "I'm Lily Evans."

Snape ==

He didn't know why the flower had a human head, although she looked cute.

"I like most people who pass by. I will give them light and warmth to drive away the cold, and I will also give them sunflower seeds—do you want it?" Lily Sunflower grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds from the flowerpot.

Snape was very touched - he said he had finally found his ideal partner, who had never had enough food and warm clothes since he was a child.

It was a very warm night. Little Snape fell asleep next to the sun flower, and the flower sister was always enthusiastically telling the new things she heard from the traveler. She was so enthusiastic that she didn't even notice her tired companion. Already asleep.

But the good times didn't last long, and Snape woke up early in the morning after being stabbed severely.He opened his eyes and saw Lily, the flower sister, was using a leaf to stop a strange big bee. The bee looked very irritable, and there were a wolf and a dog watching it.

"Go away! Ugly! She is a flower, I am a bee, she can only be mine!" the bee James Potter shouted viciously, with antennae dangling on his head, holding a spear, as if he was about to charge at any time.

Who said that flowers must be matched with bees, God logic, flowers and carnivorous boys are also very suitable!

"Come on, look what you look like - even the shoes are patched, and I have three pairs of feet, and the boots on each foot are shining."

Wolf and dog snickered together.

Snape, whose mental attack resistance was so low that it broke the table, was hit by the group mocking skill, and he fought with the bees very unconvinced, but——

bee potter

HP: 8MP: 9

Skill: Furious Charge.

black dog

HP: 8MP: 9

Skill: Bite your hind leg.

wolf remus

HP: 9MP: 100

Skills: Berserk, Disease Contagion.

It's not just them, a mouse that can pull shoelaces came out of the ground when they started to move their hands.

The little Mr. Snape, who only had one skill, was instantly blown away and turned into a shining star.complete failure ==

scene 3

Snape, the boy who was shot flying, fell into a bad forest, where there were quagmire, poisonous gas, and the trees were all black, blocking out the sky and the sun.

Because the surrounding light was too dark, Mr. Snape quickly found the only bright thing in the evil forest - a white-feathered peacock pacing up and down by the pool. ==+

The peacock squinted at him from the corner of his eyes, and saw the contempt and disdain of Chiguoguo in the beautiful eyes of the boy who fell from the sky, and the eyes were clearly written - what kind of taste is that, such a bad hairstyle, such dirty clothes, such The little bean sprouts looked stupid after being beaten.

Snape, who was a little hungry, suddenly wanted to try the taste of a charcoal-grilled peacock.

But he needs a guide. After seeing the flower girl and the irritable bee, he feels that there is nothing strange about these strange creatures talking, and he also wants to go back and burn the wolf and the dog, and pull out all the six arrogant legs of Potter who hates the bee. By the way, squash the gray mouse that makes small moves, and then raise the cute little sister Hua in captivity.

"You want to hire me as a guide? Don't be stupid, you just rely on this low-level person to expect to be able to command the noble me?" The peacock's tail was about to rise to the sky, but he suddenly remembered that his wife had laid a precious egg yesterday. Eggs need nutrients.

"If you can come up with enough food as a bargaining chip, I will condescend to help you with a little favor—" The peacock lifted its head contemptuously, and Snape could even see its upturned nostrils clearly.

What do peacocks eat?

Does anyone know what peacocks eat?

Fruits, seeds, scorpions, spiders, poisonous snakes, but this peacock prefers animal protein.

Snape poisoned a large number of scale-horned reptiles with a potion screen, and the white peacock happily picked it up and packed it. Snape watched him sweeping his gorgeous big tail and complained silently: You are not too heavy to panic.

Hope you shed all your hair tomorrow.

[Snape: Actually, I don't want to complain. 】

The boy and the peacock went on the road together, and it didn't take long before they met a strong female hyena. The white peacock said that it was his neighbor, but Snape found that the hyena had been eyeing the peacock's body, and even treated him viciously. , seems to want to pounce on it and bite it as soon as it takes time.

Snape said to himself: I don't care about mad dogs, I don't care about mad bitches.

He put up with the hyena's stalking, though he would have preferred to stab her to death with a wand.

It didn't take long for Snape to realize that he had been tricked by the peacock and was taken all the way to the depths of the Badwood.There are many carnivorous animals and plants here. They stared at the little boy and drooled, expressing their desire to eat meat.But Snape also said, it doesn't matter, I also eat meat, you just rush over, I have prepared a knife and fork.

"You're going the wrong way." Snape protested to the peacock.

"Don't be stupid, before we leave, we have to pay our respects to the master of the Black Forest." The peacock, who was posing all the way, replied.

When Snape saw the master of the Black Forest, he was taken aback, and he felt that he had to complain: Fuck, what a disgrace, so perverted.

It turns out that the boss of the Black Forest is a human snake. What is a human snake?As the name implies, the upper body is a human and the lower body is a snake.Snape felt that he was not good. This BOSS was completely the result of cutting corners and shoddy. He didn't even have time to install a nose. They all wear boots, your Y is so big, why can't you think about running hard?

Lord Voldemort

Sex: male

HP: 50x7MP: 1000

Occupation: Black Forest Boss

Hobbies: Scaring children, self-disfigurement

Skills: Poison, Poison, Deterrence, Curse

Lord Voldemort stood upright, staring at the meat boy with red eyes, and just when Snape couldn't help but complain that the boss had no eyelids, he said, "I heard you want to go to the Free Forest?"

Snape nodded, he already knew the name of the previous forest from the arrogant white peacock.

Lord Voldemort hissed again: "I can send you out of here, but I have one condition. If I can't, I will swallow you."

Snape, whose life was threatened, nodded quickly again, but he was thinking in his heart: Ma Ma, this snake is too big, if you can't beat it, you should run away as soon as possible, who will accept him if you get out of this place.

So, when Snape was carried out of the black forest by the white peacock on the left and the female hyena on the right, he had another task besides trying to trouble the wolf dog, the bee, and the mouse—the human snake boss said that he wanted to eat the old fox with glasses in the free forest With the flesh on his body, he must try every means to coax the old guy to the edge of the Black Forest.

However, after walking out of the Black Forest, Snape was not so willing to carry out the mission. The perverted snake boss who Nima took Guoben as his hobby was dark and cruel at first glance. If he obediently coaxed the old fox over, maybe the fox was the main course and he would be Extra meal.

He still wants to find the lovely Hua sister.

But the bee dominating sister Hua is really annoying, those bad guys with no integrity are quite despicable, they like to fight in groups and fight in groups.

The little arms and legs can't resist.

scene 5

Snape took a vicious bite of the cooked Rabbit No. 2 (Rabbit Soul No. 2 burst into tears), thinking about how to defeat them one by one.At this time, a tabby cat with serious face came over (don't ask me how serious the cat is), "Ahhh!" screamed "Albus—! Come on, someone is eating meat!! He Murdered the poor rabbit!"

The poor boy was so frightened that he almost lost his grip on half of the rabbit. He was extremely wronged, his black eyes were full of complaints: cats eat fish, cats eat mice, cats eat birds, and cats eat meat, okay? It looks like I'm a heinous sin if I eat meat.

The tabby cat hopped on the tree stump in front of him and sat down, and asked solemnly, "Tell me, how many rabbits did you murder?"

Just as Snape swallowed the meat in his mouth, another figure suddenly appeared in front of him.

This time it was a fox.

This fox is quite old, most of its reddish-brown fur has turned white. He looks taller, but he is so thin that the ribs under the fur are clearly visible. A pair of crescent-shaped presbyopic glasses, and a candy box hanging around his neck.

Snape had never seen such a weird fox. He had seen some foxes on the hillside when he was a child, but this one was the only weird one.

"Oh, my child, how can you murder rabbits? They are all kind little creatures," the old fox grinned, wagging his big tail with a smile.

Snape: Don't mess around with relatives, I don't know you well!

"Yes, this is very unwelcome behavior." The tabby cat's eyes widened, its furry ears folded back, and her tone was like a stern judge.

Snape curled his lips, and he said to the fox, "You're a fox, and you eat meat, why do you think that? What's wrong with eating meat?"

The old fox replied, "I've eaten meat before, and I repent of every life I've eaten in the past, but I haven't eaten meat for many years now, so you can't either."

Snape: "..." ==

Fuck!I'm not as old as you, and my teeth are fine, so why should I be a vegetarian if you're a vegetarian?

[Snape: I really don't want to complain]

"Who was yelling to eat meat just now? Could it be that the Black Forest is fighting again?" Two red mole rats hurried over, showing their sharpened claws and sharp front teeth, standing up and looking around. Waiting and looking, a posture of preparing for battle.

"Oh no, it was the boy who murdered poor Rabbit," replied the old fox. "My child, you know your mistake now, don't you?"

Snape: I'm really not your child. I'm not familiar with you. You can tell from the outside that we have nothing to do with each other!

The Mole couple came forward, and they recognized the rabbit from its fur as Connie the rabbit. She has been depressed these days because her husband who ran away from home after a quarrel a few days ago was roasted and eaten by unknown creatures. ==

"Poor Connie, he's unlucky," said Mrs. Mole sadly, leaning her chubby body against her balding husband.

"You deserve to be punished," continued Mr. Mole.

Snape said that no matter how pitiful the rabbits were, he couldn't spit out what they ate and put them together.

"Okay, how are you going to punish me?" Snape was very helpless. He handed the half-eaten roast rabbit to Mrs. Mole and said, "Do you need to bury it?"

Mrs. Mole's fur stood on end, and she screamed, "What a wicked child you are! If I had children, they would never be like you. They would have a sense of justice and compassion!"

Mr. Mole immediately patted his wife.

Snape: ...Actually, I'm a good boy, I just like to eat meat.

"Alright, don't get excited about Jasmine." The old fox with glasses said, "And you, my child—"

I am not your child!

"You made a mistake and you should take responsibility for it. There is a scary old monster at the end of the forest. It is said that he can not only take life but also give life. You need to ask him to revive the rabbit couple." The old fox pushed with his front paws Glasses, it took out a handful of candy from the candy box on its chest: "Want to eat candy? Child, it is a very wonderful thing that can help you quit meat."

Snape decided to send them away before looking for the Flower Sister.

He held out his hand to take the candy, expressing his willingness to try it.

The old fox Albus shook his tail, "It's very good of you to realize your mistake. When I went to ask for candy from Bee Potter two days ago, I heard him say that you like Sunflower Lily very much? Oh, that's a good idea." Girl, there is no one who doesn't like a cute little sister Hua, but Lily likes a vegetarian child."

Snape=mouth=

Why?Why does Sister Hua like to be vegetarian?I don't conflict with plants because I eat meat, right?

So, 囧囧 the godly Snape embarked on a journey again.

As for where the wizarding world is, Snape said that he had given up. According to Ma Ma's abstract map, he could always find hell.

scene 6

Snape had been to the Dark Forest, and he thought it was the worst place he'd ever been, but apparently it wasn't.Where he is now is far worse than there, at least there are still a lot of carnivorous perverts, and there is not a single living thing here.

The sky is dark, the trees are twisted and dry, the ground is cold and hard, and even the wind is crying strangely.

Snape wanted to back off.

The low-level places like Nima Black Forest can produce perverted people and snakes, so there must be monsters in this place.

Just as he was thinking about it, he saw the darkness all over the sky suddenly gathered like a twisted twisted flower into a thick black, the black quickly turned into a person, and the terrifying cry turned into a long cloak to drape over that person.

The big devil is out!

Little Snape was in a daze for a short time, spread his legs and turned around and ran!

Great Satan

Sex: Male

HP: Unlimited MP: Unlimited

Occupation: Grim Reaper

Hobbies: Secret Age: Secret

Skills: Control of life and death

Current status: Empty, lonely, cold, various depressions

The scenery on both sides retreated quickly, and only the whistling wind could be heard in his ears. Snape was so out of breath as he ran, even the curtain-style hair on his forehead stood up.The Great Demon King fluttered down next to him, and his big black cloak flew up imposingly, just like a legendary vampire.

"Why did you run away?" asked the Great Demon King.

Snape "..." I'm afraid that you cannibalize people, and that you will be perverted!

"I don't eat people." The big devil tilted his head, and then poked his finger on the back of the boy's head, Snape fell down and gnawed on the mud.

Snape: "..."

He trembled nervously for a few times, then stopped moving, closed his eyes and pretended to be dead——When Ma Ma told stories when he was a child, he always said: When you meet a bear, you have to play dead.

So the big devil squatted down and poked him from head to toe with his fingers.

Emma, ​​she really is a pervert! QQ

"If you play dead again, I'll turn you over and poke you." ==

! ! /0 port 0! ! ! ! ! ! ! NO!!!

Snape, who was overly frightened, immediately jumped up, and then he found that the big devil was not ugly.

"What are you doing here? No one wants to come here. No life is not afraid of me." The big devil said.

"I want you to revive the two rabbits I ate." Snape replied immediately.

"So, what can I expect from you?"

Snape reached into his holed pocket and pulled out a handful of candy.

demon king"……"

Snape had an intuition that what he wanted was not candy, but he wanted to imitate the old fox's forced sales: "Candy tastes delicious, and it can also help you quit many bad hobbies, such as cannibalism and perverts."

"I don't eat people." The Great Demon King rubbed his forehead, "I'll help you revive those two rabbits, why don't you stay with me, I'm too lonely by myself."

Snape ran off.

The big devil poked him down again with his finger, and laughed arrogantly: "You can still run when you come to my territory? Hehehe..."

Snape screamed regretfully—

[From then on, the meat-eating boy who wanted to keep his beautiful sister in captivity was captive by the god of death, and the Black Forest and freedom continued to confront each other. My story is over. 】

"Vincent, what are you hiding?" The Potions Professor had just bottled the new potion when he turned around and saw the 5-year-old Vincent hiding something behind his back.

"Don't pay attention to me, father. It's just a little toy for your own entertainment." Vincent Snape blinked his black eyes innocently. "It's just a toy with a little trick."

Snape stared at him and frowned slightly: "I hope you didn't cause trouble to anyone, otherwise you will have to learn some necessary things from Moores from next week, instead of staying here just to learn potions There is no business here."

"Okay, Father, I don't."

……

Office of the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Dumbledore excitedly said to the Potter couple who came to string the picture frame: "Oh, James, Lily, listen to me, I took a nap and dreamed that I turned into a big fox, it was amazing. "

James Potter: "It feels terrible, I seem to have a dream too, and I dreamed that I was transformed into a weird bee—"

Lily: "..." She thinks it's better not to get involved in this topic.