Prohibition of losing contact

The originally tense atmosphere dissipated in Zhou Qingbai's few words, Pei You couldn't help smiling, and relaxed a little.

"Okay." Pei You said softly, "If there is, I will put it in your investment project."

I have to say that although escaping from reality has no real significance in changing the status quo, it is still very effective in decompressing. Zhou Qingbai made a brief phone call with Pei You, and his nervous mood gradually calmed down a little.

He sorted out his assets last night without saying a word, and was beaten again today, and his whole body was a little sleepy. After hanging up the phone, he lay down on the soft quilt and sighed for a while, and fell asleep in a daze.

This sleep was not very stable, Zhou Qingbai could vaguely feel his consciousness shuttling back and forth between half asleep and half awake, but even if his whole body was heavy, he couldn't fall asleep or wake up.

In a blur, Zhou Qingbai vaguely heard the sound of the door opening. Someone came in from outside the room, walked to the bed, and gently touched his forehead.

That hand was very cold, with a clear touch, Zhou Qingbai was frozen, subconsciously frowned, and shrank his head under the quilt.

Immediately afterwards, he heard a deliberately lowered female voice coming from beside him.

"I have a fever," she said.

Zhou Qingbai didn't know who she was talking to, but after a few seconds, he heard a long sigh coming from beside him.

The sigh was weak and complicated, and it sounded unusually heavy.Zhou Qingbai subconsciously wanted to identify the source of the sound, but before he could break free from his sleep, the sound of footsteps around him went away again.

Zhou Qingbai's mind was in a trance for a moment, and soon he fell into a chaotic deep sleep. After an unknown period of time, he gradually came out of that chaos, and vaguely heard someone calling him.

"Qingbai."

This time the voice by the bed was changed, Zhou Qingbai frowned slightly, woke up slowly from sleep, and opened his eyes.

He seems to have slept through the whole day, and now the room is pitch black, only a small night light by the bedside is dimly lit, trying to emit a thin halo, trying to illuminate the small body around him that is the size of a palm. place.

Zhou Qingbai could see a vague silhouette sitting beside his bed, but he blinked before realizing who it was.

"...Mom?" Zhou Qingbai said unexpectedly, "Why are you here?"

"Should I not come?" Liang Ying said as she touched his face, and said distressedly: "Your father didn't tell me about such a big thing, and came here on his own. If it wasn't for your brother to give me Call, I don't know yet."

"Hey, it's nothing." Zhou Qingbai smiled, and said in a relaxed tone: "Dad doesn't want to let troublesome things bother you."

Zhou Jianguo lived a rough and hard life all his life, like a solid mallet, but all his carefulness grew on Liang Ying, and he never asked her to worry about these troublesome things at home.

After a long time, even Zhou Cangshan and Zhou Qingbai got used to not letting their mother worry about it. This time, Zhou Cangshan probably couldn't finish the show, so he had to call the "head of the family" ".

"That shouldn't be like this." Liang Ying sighed as she spoke, touched Zhou Qingbai's head again, and whispered, "Baby, does your body still hurt?"

Liang Ying is different from Zhou Jianguo, who was born with mud legs. She came from a scholarly family, and spent many years in the National Theater Troupe when she was young. Face.

When Zhou Qingbai's temper came up, he could still talk back in front of Zhou Jianguo, but now he turned off the fire when he saw Liang Ying, and buried himself under the quilt in embarrassment, saying that he was fine.

Liang Ying lived a comfortable and smooth life all her life, and she still has a little girl's tenderness in her bones. She lowered her head slightly when she heard the words, and pulled the quilt down very lightly.

"You don't need to cover it up for him, I've already beaten him." Liang Ying coaxed a child and said, "Your sister-in-law also beat your brother, and she vented her anger on you."

Zhou Qingbai felt ashamed to be coaxed by his mother in such a tone that he was already so old, but at the same time he couldn't help feeling happy, couldn't help laughing, and showed two bright eyes from the edge of the quilt.

"My brother didn't hit me." Zhou Qingbai said matter-of-factly, "He stopped Dad."

"Who made him move slowly." Liang Ying said confidently, "Besides, how old are you, how can you still fight with you."

"And let's not talk about this for now." Liang Ying smiled, reached out and took a small tray from the bedside table, and handed it to Zhou Qingbai: "You haven't eaten all day, and you have a low-grade fever in the afternoon, eat something first, Take your medicine in a while."

There are a few exquisite snacks on the tray, which look like Jiang Man's handicraft.Zhou Qingbai got up from the bed, sat cross-legged on the bed, covered with a quilt, stretched out and retracted his hands, hesitated for a while, and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Zhou Qingbai whispered, "I have no appetite."

"Hey, I know." Liang Ying sighed softly, but she didn't force him, she just put the tray back on the bedside table: "Then eat it later, your brother is going out to buy you small wontons .”

Zhou Qingbai: "..."

Zhou Qingbai's physique was not good when he was a child, and he often had colds and fevers for no reason.But when he got sick, he lost his appetite, and the only thing he wanted to eat was the small wonton outside Dong'anmen, so Zhou Cangshan would go to buy it for him every time, rain or shine, and he would buy it for many years.

"...Really?" Zhou Qingbai felt inexplicably uncomfortable: "I thought my brother was angry with me."

Speaking of this topic, the smile on Zhou Qingbai's face faded a lot, his face was stained with a bit of loneliness, and he looked a little pitiful under the dim bedside lamp.

"He's worried about you." Liang Ying took Zhou Qingbai's hand and rubbed it lightly, and said softly, "Qingbai, don't blame your brother or your father, they are worried about you."

Liang Ying twitched the corners of her mouth as she spoke, and said softly, "When I came this afternoon, I saw your father hiding in the kitchen and secretly wiping tears."

Zhou Qingbai was slightly taken aback.

"What?" Zhou Qingbai couldn't help asking.

It's not that he doesn't believe in Liang Ying, it's that Zhou Jianguo doesn't seem to be compatible with this behavior. He believes in the "steel education policy" that boys bleed, sweat and not cry. Zhou Qingbai has lived for 30 years and has never seen him cry.

"It's true." Liang Ying's eyebrows were gentle, she squeezed Zhou Qingbai's hand, and sighed softly: "I went to ask him what's wrong, but he didn't say anything, but just asked me suddenly, saying if it was his fault."

Liang Ying's voice was soft and soft, and it seemed to carry some kind of tranquil magic in this quiet night.

"He asked me, is it because when you were young, he was busy with work and spent too little time with you, so that made you like men." Liang Ying said: "I said no, but he That’s what it says on the internet.”

"...Mom." Zhou Qingbai couldn't help interrupting her softly.

Liang Ying thoughtfully stopped and did not continue.

Zhou Qingbai couldn't tell what he was feeling in his heart now - he seemed to feel pain, but this pain was not sharp, as if it was mixed with grievance, guilt and many other things that he couldn't count or distinguish, and these things were messed up , and finally formed a complex aggregate, which fell heavily in his heart, making him want to cry.

Before this moment, Zhou Qingbai had never imagined that Zhou Jianguo would say such a thing one day in his life.In his heart, this father has always been the backbone of steel, as cold as an unshakable rock, as if a knife and ax will not leave marks on it.

He didn't expect that Zhou Jianguo would doubt himself one day and try to blame himself for his "mistakes".

"...No." Zhou Qingbai said with difficulty: "This is natural, what does it have to do with him."

"He doesn't understand this." Liang Ying smiled and said in a low voice, "He just thinks that maybe he lost part of your childhood, so you divert your attention to other men."

This is of course nonsense and has no scientific basis. There is no research in the world that can prove that the "genesis" of homosexuality is necessarily related to the environment.

Zhou Qingbai should have ridiculed Zhou Jianguo's "old antique" in good faith, but he opened his mouth, not only did not say anything, even his throat was choked.

He had guessed many times the scene when he came out of the closet—he guessed that Zhou Jianghui would be furious and furious, and he also guessed that Zhou Jianghui would be disappointed, hated and avoided him, and felt that he had lost his face.But he never guessed that Zhou Jianghui would take this responsibility on himself.

Zhou Jianguo's thinking is still stuck 40 years ago. His ideas are stubborn and cannot be broken. Even if he doesn't understand what the "law of nature" is, he still thinks it is "abnormal".The only thing he knew seemed to be that this was definitely not Zhou Qingbai's "mistake" alone.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Zhou Qingbai lowered his head and whispered, "I..."

"You don't need to apologize, baby." Liang Ying moved to his side, hugged Zhou Qingbai into her arms, patted his arm lightly as she did when she was a child, and comforted: "He is your father, he should treat you right Responsible."

"But it's not his fault." Zhou Qingbo paused, and then said: "It's not my fault either—I just like someone."

"I know." Liang Ying smiled and said, "I'm not as old-fashioned as your father."

Liang Ying patted Zhou Qingbai's arm, and said softly, "But Qingbai, I don't agree with this either."

"Mom..." Zhou Qingbai retorted in a low voice, "I mean it."

"I know, but my mother has also thought it through." Liang Ying said softly: "You are too young to know how far the future is. Your road is too difficult. Have you ever thought about it? You and him have no relationship." Even if the legal relationship lasts five or ten years, if one day you break up, you won't even have anyone to rely on."

"Even if I am heterosexual, if I find a girlfriend, I still have the risk of breaking up." Zhou Qingbai said, "I can still get divorced after having a child."

"It's different, baby." Liang Ying said softly, "In these two situations, the 'temptation' you face is completely opposite."

Zhou Qingbai frowned, not understanding what Liang Ying meant.

"Humans are social animals. In the final analysis, they can't completely live in their own island." Liang Ying said: "This is the current general environment. After all, the relationship between boys is not accepted by most people."

Liang Ying paused, hugged Zhou Qingbai a little tighter, and continued: "If you marry a wife and have children normally, and if there are relationship problems, everyone will persuade you to make peace and hope that you can maintain the stability of the family. In this case, As long as you still have a little affection for the other party, maybe you will get back together with the other party; but if you find a boy, when you break up, everyone will applaud and congratulate you for "changing your evil ways", and at that time, you only need to If there is a trace of dissatisfaction, it will fall apart with the other party."

"Sometimes people's decisions are swaying on that line." Liang Ying said: "Push you, or pull you, and you will go in another direction."

"The gender of your other half is actually not important at all." Liang Ying said: "What matters is everything behind it."

Zhou Qingbai is no longer in the rebellious period, he can understand Liang Ying's words, and he also knows from the bottom of his heart that what she said makes sense.Whether it's her, Zhou Cangshan, or Zhou Jianguo, no matter what their starting point is, they all want him to be better from the bottom of their hearts, Zhou Qingbai understands.

But to be clear, Zhou Qingbai has his own views on this matter, and he cannot back down or compromise.

"I know, Mom." Zhou Qingbai said earnestly: "I don't know if you will believe me when I say it - but I have actually thought about these things, and I think I can take risks, and I am willing to take risks."

"Besides, even if I don't want to take it, there's nothing I can do." Zhou Qingbai smiled wryly, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "I really only like men."

"Are you sure?" Liang Ying asked gently.

"Sure." Zhou Qingbai said firmly.

"So—" Liang Ying asked softly, "That boy...is he fine?"

"Very good." Zhou Qingbai replied quickly: "I really want to spend my whole life with him."

"Well then, I respect your decision and believe in your vision." Liang Ying stroked his sweaty forehead and said, "But I want to tell you that my attitude is still not in favor of it, but if you I'm sure, then I have no objection. After all, you have grown up and have the right and freedom to take on your own life."

"Thank you mom." Zhou Qingbai whispered.

He didn't feel discouraged. For him, Liang Ying's attitude was enough - after all, as parents, they always had the right to worry about themselves.

"But..." Zhou Qingbai hesitated and said, "Then dad..."

"I don't care about your father." Liang Ying showed a sly smile and teased him, "Go and get him yourself."

The author says:

Congratulations to Xiao Zhou's progress in coming out of the closet XD [Thanks to Xiao Huang, mackerel bqtrxienbu6, 忄曼, the most delicious taste of life is Qinghuan, living in a dream, watching the scenery on the Changfeng Bridge, and the fish food fed by liu92, Thanks to Sanshan Xiaoxiao for feeding the catnip, thank you very much~