Prohibition of losing contact

Pei You has always known that some sensitive "similars" are like sexuality radars, as long as they look at each other, they can tell each other's sexuality.

It's a pity that he himself is quite dull on this point, and he hasn't been able to cultivate this kind of piercing eyes so far. It wasn't until Zhou Qingbai explained the secret to him today that he vaguely touched a little bit of the doorway of this unspoken rule.

He looked around subconsciously, only to realize that what Zhou Qingbai said was right - the scattered tables in the bar were all looking at the two of them as if nothing.

Pei You didn't observe others blatantly, but some things are easy to detect as long as there are signs. Even if Pei You has already withdrawn his gaze, he can still feel the continuous stream of gazes projected from every corner.

Besides himself, Pei You could feel that most of them were looking at Zhou Qingbai.

Those eyes carried a strong sense of probing, vigilant and implying temptation, Pei You's eyes moved, and he turned sideways without any trace, blocking most of his sight.

Zhou Qingbai was leaning on the bar, staring at Pei You with a smile on his face, watching the expression on his face change from bewildered to suddenly enlightened, and there was also a little nervousness mixed in during the period, he just felt that he was inexplicably cute.

Other gays feel like a fish in water when they enter a gay bar, wishing to make waves inside, but Pei You is the complete opposite, feeling as comfortable as outside.

It's all due to the blind date, Zhou Qingbai thought unreasonably, who made the previous blind date not leave a good impression on Pei You.

"There are places like this in such a small town." Pei You euphemistically said, "I thought only big cities would have them."

"Only in small places." Zhou Qingbai lowered his head slightly, leaned against the bar and approached Pei You, and whispered to him head to head like a little hamster: "Big cities are open, and few people care about homosexuality, but small cities are closed, so All you need is a small gathering place."

That's true, Pei You thought, homosexuality is still a minority in society after all, so it can't be brought to the table.

The classical folk songs on the stereo were flowing slowly, and the lavender ambient light was slowly circling on the floor. Pei You unconsciously turned his wine glass with his hand, and suddenly wanted to discuss something unrelated to work with Zhou Qingbai.

"When did you discover your sexual orientation?" Pei You asked.

"In high school." Zhou Qingbai blinked, and didn't feel embarrassed, and said openly: "I was staying at the time, and my roommate in the dormitory dragged us to watch movies together in the middle of the night. I found out after watching."

High school boys are full of vigor and puberty. When curiosity comes, they will always call on their friends to do some bad things.Zhou Qingbai watched a lot of messy things with them at that time, but the more he watched, the more boring he felt, until one day he accidentally clicked on a gay movie, which completely opened the door to a new world.

"I'll tell you a secret." Zhou Qingbai twisted the rim of the glass and spun the wine glass, and said softly, "I was actually quite scared at that time."

The Zhou family had a strict family upbringing, and Zhou Qingbai was too young at that time to know that sexual orientation was innate, and secretly panicked for a long time.

At that time, he was uneasy about his sexual orientation, and it happened to be in the second year of middle school. His whole inner state was tangled, and he felt that he was different from people all over the world.

This overwhelming self-awareness prompted him to become rebellious, and it was also during that period that Zhou Qingbai began to come into contact with those things that were explicitly prohibited in his tutoring.

"At that time, I smoked like others and played billiards." Zhou Qingbai lowered his head slightly, staring at the ripples of water in the cup, and said with a smile, "Insomnia at night, sleeping during the day, and skipping class to learn bartending—"

At that time, he used this kind of rebellious and fresh stimulation to offset his anxiety about his sexual orientation, as if as long as he had enough "maverick" categories, "gay" would become one of those things, becoming It's not that important.

This ups and downs of a youthful mentality lasted for several years, until Zhou Qingbai went to university, grew up and gained more knowledge, and gradually stabilized.

When Zhou Qingbai talked about this matter, his voice was soft and soft, as if he was whispering while avoiding others, and also as if he was gently telling Pei You a story that had nothing to do with him.

The light from the bar leaned over from the side, just covering Zhou Qingbai's long eyelashes, falling into the wine glass in front of him, and shedding a bit of diamond light similar to ice edges.

There was a faint smile on the corner of his lips, Pei You's eyes fell on Zhou Qingbai's side face, on his collarbone, and finally moved down slightly, looking at his hand holding the wine glass.

Cold transparent water droplets condensed on the outside of the transparent tall cup. Looking at the floating mint leaves in the cup, Pei You suddenly felt that his heart softened a little with Zhou Qingbai's voice, and swayed along the water pattern A little ripple.

"That's when you learned how to mix wine?" Pei You asked.

"Yes." Zhou Qingbai turned his head, smiled at him, and said in a relaxed tone: "The more I tuned in, the more I liked it. After my mentality stabilized, I persisted."

"It's amazing." Pei You praised sincerely: "I mean...not just bartending."

"What?" Zhou Qingbai was slightly taken aback.

"It's amazing to be able to stabilize my mentality, find my hobbies, and do it well." Pei You said: "I discovered my sexual orientation when I was in college. I was not interested, so I hesitated for a while, checked a lot of information, and then came out to my family."

Pei You has always been very fortunate that he has a very enlightened mother, so he hardly entangled in the matter of sexual orientation, and quickly accepted this fact.

But Zhou Qingbai was so young and young at that time, and suddenly found that he was different from the people around him, and his mood must have been very complicated.

Uneasiness, hesitation, and the secret sense of incompatibility will fill his life, and because of the strict family education, he cannot even get the guiding help of his parents.

This feeling of "isolation" makes it easy for people to subconsciously search for similar people. For young boys who were still in adolescence at the time, this "search" process must be full of unknown dangers, and they will learn bad things if they are not careful.

But Zhou Qingbai didn't. He himself was like a small boat in a rainstorm, floating in the sea for a long time, and finally rowed back to the shore by himself, and brought back a boat full of treasures.

"It's been hard work." Pei You paused and said in a low voice, "It's admirable to be able to persist until you are responsible for yourself."

Pei You's tone sounded very serious, even a little more serious than his usual work, as if on this topic, he didn't want Zhou Qingbai to think that he might be joking.

He is usually emotionally insensitive, but at this time he was surprisingly frank and direct. Zhou Qingbai seemed to be scalded by Pei You's serious attitude. He subconsciously turned his eyes away to avoid Pei You's gaze, and the smile on his face Slightly restrained.

Before today, Zhou Qingbai had never told anyone this story.

It is always difficult for a 30-year-old to recall what he was like when he was sixteen or seventeen. There was a lot of embarrassment and shame mixed in during the period. No matter how you look at it, you feel that you were fussing over a molehill and sensitive at that time.

The same goes for Zhou Qingbai, he himself felt that he was naive and timid during that time, and would toss and turn unable to sleep because of anything too big.

But when Pei You opened his mouth, it seemed that he was brought back to ten years ago for no reason.

The Zhou family doesn't believe in encouraging education, and no one will praise him for such a trivial matter.Zhou Qingbai thought he didn't need these, but it wasn't until this moment that he realized that in those dazed nights and in those days after persistence, he really wanted to hear such a sentence.

When Zhou Qingbai had nothing to do to tease Pei You to let him praise him, his expression didn't change and his heart beat, his skin was as thick as a city wall, but now Pei You praised him without his "hint", and he felt a little embarrassed instead.

He suddenly felt his heart pounding, the sound was deafening, spreading from his chest, bringing a scorching and inexplicable temperature.

At the same time, Zhou Qingbai suddenly felt a very sudden panic, a kind of uneasiness and panic that he had never felt before enveloped him in an instant, but before he could settle down in this uneasiness, he was in these complicated situations again. A very secret joy was detected in the emotion.

As an adult, this kind of joy made him feel a little ashamed instinctively, Zhou Qingbai pursed his lips and smiled, and took a sip of his gin and tonic in a concealed manner.

Zhou Qingbai's taste buds were caught off guard by this glass of gin and tonic. He frowned slightly, and couldn't help but move the wine glass a little farther away, observing the color of the glass body.

——In addition to the classic recipe, this cup of gin and tonic should have added other base wines, and the proportion of tonic water is not right. A bitterness of bad nuts remains.

Zhou Qingbai pursed his lips and tasted it, and found that there was also a nondescript taste of sea salt in it.

Zhou Qingbai frowned, briefly turned his attention away from Pei You, and inadvertently glanced at the wine list on the bar.

On the wine list, cocktails took up most of the space, Zhou Qingbai squinted his eyes and glanced for a while, and saw the word "special tune" before the product name of "gin and tonic".

Zhou Qingbai: "..."

What a mess of tuning, Zhou Qingbai thought, it's killing me.

This kind of bitterness seemed to have a taste of time, it was astringent and salty, Zhou Qingbai took a sip of strong wine, and instead of feeling better, he felt even more flustered.

He subconsciously wanted to divert this panic, so he tilted his head to look at Pei You, and reached out to grab his sleeve.

"Who are you praising?" Zhou Qingbai smiled with his eyes bent, and asked unreasonably and nonsense like many times in the past: "Praise me, or praise me now?"

Pei You didn't know the difference between the two options, so he simply combined them into one, and replied, "Praise you."

He answered directly and firmly, Zhou Qingbai blinked, and suddenly belatedly smacked a little sweetness in the pine nut-flavored liquor.

Pei You's answer was light and solemn, as if the dust had settled, and it fell on Zhou Qingbai's heart very lightly, but it was like a needle for calming the sea, calming the inexplicable anxiety in his heart.

At the same time, at this moment, maybe even Zhou Qingbai himself didn't know that he had already fallen in love with Pei You silently one step ahead.

The author says:

Some people got the hang of it, but haven’t fully opened it yet. 23333 This chapter has been revised and rewritten for a long time, I hope you have a good time XD, and Xiao Zhou and Xiao Pei have been in love for a long time. After all, they are two first loves, and they are both fools , will first fill up the favorability bar, and then directly explode XD, after piercing the window paper, you will seamlessly enter the period of passionate love [Thanks to Qian Xingmian, living in a dream, Ran Ranran, egg yolk crisp without egg yolk QAQ fed fish food, Thank you so much~