Try changing my plan again?

▍The flame that had been burning in his heart for many years was finally powerless and completely extinguished on this day

It stands to reason that Ruan Mian shouldn't have his aunt's contact information, he and Ruan Guocheng's family are almost in a state of estrangement, but a few years ago when he was in his third year of high school, his cousin went to the same high school as him.

I don't know if it's because of the blood connection, or because his little cousin is really cute and sensible, but he always can't hate her, so he added WeChat halfway.

However, they never chatted these years, and Ruan Mian didn't even know when this WeChat ID was inherited by her aunt.

Ruan's mother recently enrolled in a university for the elderly to study photography. The tuition is cheap, and she can spend her time doing things she likes.

Sitting next to Ruan Mian, she flicked through the official account her son had just subscribed to, and could not hide her happiness. From time to time, she would call her son to discuss it together, as joyful as if she had discovered a mysterious treasure.

The moment Ruan Mian received the WeChat message, her face collapsed, and the sound of chewing like a mouse stealing food stopped abruptly.

Ruan's mother immediately realized his abnormality, and asked softly, "What's wrong?"

Ruan Mian smiled coldly, "Ruan Guocheng's sister asked me to eat."

No matter who he was before or after, he never wanted to call Ruan Guocheng his father, he always called him by his first name. Over the years, even when he heard the word "your father", he would immediately puff up his feathers like a cockfighting cock, and be overwhelmed by the turbulent depression. Anger swallowed instantly.

This man who should be called his father is like a cloud hanging over his head, inspiring all his dark emotions, as well as those secret fears hidden in the depths.

"Actually, you can go." Ruan's mother lowered her eyes, turned off the phone's screen, and smiled calmly after a long time, "Actually, your father came to me a while ago and said that he hadn't seen him for many years. He wanted to meet you and see how you grow up." look."

Seeing those harsh words about to come out of her son's mouth, Mother Ruan gently shook her head, "Listen to me first."

"A lot of things have passed. In the past ten years, no matter how strong the love and hatred are, they will be diluted by time and there will be very little left. Holding on to the things that have passed is just torturing yourself."

"I'm not asking you to forgive him, and I don't want you to recognize him as your father. I just want you to learn to reconcile with him, and even more with yourself, let go of your grudges and live a good life, so that you can face the rest of your life calmly... including the future. What I met belonged to your feelings."

"Nothing is as good as you think, nor as bad as you think."

"You can be indifferent, but there's no need to hate him anymore, isn't it? In fact, sometimes I blame myself for failing to set a good example for you, failing to give you a good environment for growing up, and leaving a lot of shadows in your heart , I thought about it for a long time, maybe facing it might be a solution, maybe you can let it go...Of course, it’s up to you to decide whether you want to see him or not, my son is already an adult, as a mother, I can only give him A few small suggestions."

Ruan Mian hesitated to speak several times, and finally leaned on the sofa dejectedly, hanging her head.

Ruan's mother gently put her hand on his head and rubbed it lovingly, "What do you want to eat tonight? Mom will make it for you."

From time to time in the kitchen, there was the soft sound of kitchen utensils colliding with each other, and sometimes there was the sound of chopping vegetables, or the sound of "唰——" when the vegetables were put into the pot, the aroma soon came out from the gap in the kitchen door.

Ruan Mian nestled on the sofa and watched the old ceiling empty, her slender legs were resting on the coffee table, shaking from side to side once in a while.

He held a self-made bookmark between his fingers, with his mother's beautiful font on it.

——"For my own sake, I must forgive you. A person cannot keep a poisonous snake in his chest forever; he cannot get up every night and plant thorns in the garden of the soul."

Ruan Mian sighed, fumbled for the phone, and sent a message to Jiang Song.

"what are you doing?"

Soon, Jiang Song sent a photo of a bald man standing in front of the curtain, pointing a laser pointer at the PPT projected on it.

Ruan Mian has seen this person before, he is a middle-level person from Jinyuan Land.

Immediately behind the photo, Jiang Song added, "I'm listening to bastard chanting scriptures."

Ruan Mian couldn't hold back, and burst out laughing.

Aunt Ruan Mian seems to have organized this meeting, but it was actually ordered by Ruan Guocheng, and the occasion was chosen quite formally.

For this meeting, Ruan Guocheng specially oiled his hair and carefully selected clothes and leather shoes.

He sat upright in a chair, and kept straightening the collar of his shirt, which didn't need to be straightened at all.

He is almost sixty years old, and he is a little old man. Although his figure has not deformed, his figure is still tall and straight, but the hard work in business for so many years makes him look older than his peers.

Ruan Mian's nose and face shape follow him, the bridge of the nose is high and straight, but not sharp, they don't look very much alike, but a discerning eye can still guess that they are close relatives.

At any rate, he was a well-known handsome guy back then, and he still retains a bit of his style when he gets old.

Ruan Mian came late, stood at the door of the private room, knocked on the open door with her index finger, and said casually, "Good evening, everyone."

The person who was sitting idly straightened up unconsciously, and a slightly unfamiliar but forcedly friendly smile appeared on his face.

The bored little cousin's eyes lit up when she heard the sound, "Hello, brother!"

I haven't seen each other in five or six years. The little cousin has grown into a big girl. Should I say it or not, the old Ruan family has good genes, and everyone looks good.

My aunt also stood up to greet her, and said with a smile, "Come on, sit down."

Ruan Mian nodded to her politely, avoided her hand calmly, pulled out the chair and sat down, smiling without saying a word.

Aunt started her babbling show.

"You've grown into a young man, look at our Ruan Mian, how handsome you are, how many girls like this?"

"How is the work, is it hard? I heard that the income is not bad? How much money can I get a month? When do you plan to buy a house?"

"Have you found a girlfriend? If you do, you must show it to me and your father. We will check it out for you."

Ruan Mian didn't answer, just stared at her with a smile on her face, until she felt cold all over her body and felt uncomfortable, then she gradually stopped talking.

Since Ruan Mian entered the door, Ruan Guocheng didn't say a word, and he was even a little cautious in his gestures, only occasionally echoing his sister's words and smiling at Ruan Mian.

Sitting next to Ruan Guocheng was a little girl who was [-] or [-] years old. She looked exactly like Ruan Guocheng. She was holding a lollipop in her mouth and was playing with her phone with her head down. low swear words.

As soon as my aunt stopped talking, the air immediately became quiet, and the atmosphere became more and more awkward.

Ruan Mian leisurely holds the lemonade and smiles.

He didn't care about the atmosphere, as long as he wasn't embarrassed, he would be happy if the rest of the people had better dig their toes.

Ruan Guocheng didn't know what to say to break the deadlock, so he patted the little girl's shoulder lightly, "Jun Yao, it's been a long time, why don't you call someone, you just know how to play with your phone."

Probably because the game was lost, Ruan Junyao threw the phone heavily on the table, cursed secretly, and raised her head for the first time.

With her elbows on the table, she raised an eyebrow provocatively at Ruan Mian, "You are Ruan Mian? I heard that you know Li Yuhuai, can you get me an autograph?"

Before Ruan Mian could speak, Ruan Guocheng reprimanded and scolded seven-pointedly, "How do you talk, you girl? It's too rude, you have to call me brother."

Ruan Junyao rolled her eyes in distaste, "I call it whatever I like, do you care?"

"It's not big or small." Ruan Guocheng's face twitched slightly with the marks carved by the years, and he choked for a long time, but he didn't say anything after all, he just smiled apologetically at Ruan Mian.

"Bad upbringing, spoiled."

Ruan Mian was not polite, "I can tell, it's not very good."

Ruan Junyao was probably used to being arrogant on weekdays, she slammed the table, and the lollipop in her mouth changed from the left cheek to the right, "Why are you talking!"

Ruan Mian, "Didn't you hear the one who spoke? If you didn't hear clearly, say it again for you."

"you--!"

Ruan Guocheng tugged at Ruan Junyao, and threatened in a low voice, "If you make trouble again, there will be no pocket money for this month!"

Ruan Mian looked at the father and daughter who were bearded and staring in front of them, and suddenly felt a little funny, and suddenly understood why his mother insisted that he come to meet Ruan Guocheng.

It turns out that this is his current life. Isn't it good for what he got in exchange for abandoning his wife and son?

The haggard and vicissitudes on his face cannot be concealed. Even though he is very rich, wearing expensive clothes and extravagant watches, but for some reason, it can be seen that he is not doing well.

There are very few saints in this world. Even if most people don't admit it, they will still feel very comfortable in their hearts because of the unsatisfactory life of the hated person.

Why do you have to forgive those who have hurt you? Hurt is hurt.

Looking at Ruan Junyao, Ruan Mian was even a little thankful that she was not "raised personally" by this man.

It didn't go well at the beginning, and everyone didn't want to mess with Ruan Mian anymore. The meal was completely silent, and almost no one spoke anymore, only the little cousin whispered a few words to Ruan Mian occasionally, pointing fingers Which dish is more delicious.

Whether it was delicious or not, Ruan Mian didn't know why, she just felt more and more confused, and her mind was muddled.

He didn't gloat for too long, and he began to feel that everything was boring, staring at Ruan Guocheng's strange face, he became more and more puzzled.

... So what is the difference between this person in front of me and A, B, and C on the street?

What kind of life this person is living now, whether he is living well or not, obviously has nothing to do with him, why should he bother to hate him and care about him.

Apart from that bit of nominal blood and his inexplicable obsession, what else is between them?

As far as I can remember, there has been no participation of the role of father in my life, and I have grown up vigorously in the abundant maternal love, and I have grown more red. The existence or absence of my father has long been irrelevant.

Thinking about it carefully, those entanglements are really boring.

A meal that made everyone tasteless ended hastily.

Ruan Guocheng offered to take Ruan Mian home, but Ruan Mian flatly refused, saying that he would just take a taxi.

Ruan Guocheng is probably really old, and his temperament is very different from when he was young. After a careful taste, he was a little submissive when getting along with Ruan Mian.

He wanted to stay with Ruan Mian for a while longer, but he didn't know how to speak, so he had to say that it was not easy to get a taxi during peak hours, and he would wait with him for a while, and if it really didn't work, he could still send him off, at least he wouldn't be stupid to wait. .

Later, he passed another cigarette and lit it for his son who was already taller than himself.

Ruan Mian felt awkward, but did not refuse.

The two cigarette butts were flickering in the dark, Ruan Guocheng looked at the heavy traffic on the road, and said slightly self-deprecating, "I didn't expect to become a little more mature now that I am old."

He dusted off the cigarette ash, looking a little dejected, "I know you hate me, and I also realize how much I did back then. I owe you too much, mother and child. I feel guilty and want to make it up..."

"Stop!" Ruan Mian raised her hand with a cigarette in her hand, indicating that he didn't need to continue talking, and turned to look at him seriously.

"First of all, I will never, never forgive you, and I don't need your compensation."

"But I won't hate you anymore, because it's not worth it."

"However, as a father and son, I still hope that you will live a long and healthy life in the future, and that you will be as blessed as Donghai is rich."

"You will see what I am like when I grow up, and I don't need to see you again in the future."

An empty car drove over from a distance, Ruan Mian waved his hand quickly and stopped the car.

"Then I'm leaving, bye."

He opened the taxi door, got in deftly, lowered the window, waved to Ruan Guocheng with a smile, and walked away.

The evening wind rushed in through the half-open window, Ruan Mian leaned comfortably by the window, and sent a message to his mother, asking her what fruit she would like to eat, he would bring it back later, and after receiving the reply, he continued to talk to Jiang. Song bragging and farting.

The flame that had been burning in his heart for many years was finally powerless and completely extinguished on this day.

The author says:

For my own sake, I must forgive you.A person cannot always keep a poisonous snake in his chest; he cannot get up every night and plant thorns in the garden of his soul. ——Wilde