Manhattanhenge

The day she met Ning Yixiao was the worst time for Su Hui in the past year.

He was in a period of depression, and in the early morning of the previous night, he had the idea of ​​suicide, so he made many decisions. He stayed up late to read the books he had left behind, went to the garden to water every plant, and returned to school after dawn. The completed homework is handed over to the teacher, and all unreturned books are returned.

He has been suffering from bipolar disorder for many years. The hypomanic period did not affect his basic life. He was even happier and more active than usual. I can't do it, and I can't go to school.

It was the first time I didn't go to school for two months, and my classmates in the past would ask what kind of disease I had this time, and now I am used to it.Only one girl expressed surprise at his sudden return and asked a few questions with concern. For this reason, Su Hui took out all the candies she had brought and gave them to her, leaving only one.

Xiao Su Hui's family members told him not to easily tell others about his bipolar disorder.

In this way, no one likes you, and everyone will hate you and be afraid of you.That's what they said, so Su Hui never confessed.

His grandfather has a very close relationship with the leaders of this university, but the only use of this friendship is to ask for leave for him, to make excuses for him to leave school from time to time. In the eyes of outsiders, he is a complete sick man, living like a burden.

That's true, Su Hui thought.

He completed the plan one by one, and finally walked to the gate of the second school with blue bricks and white pillars, leaned against the archway and finished smoking a cigarette, finally swept a shared bicycle, and left without any regrets.

At such times, Su Hui was always shrouded in shadow.Even though the weather was unbelievably good that day, with clear and white clouds, in retrospect, there were only iron-gray roads and the sun that was about to melt people.

His limbs were numb, and he knew that the current state was not suitable for riding a bicycle, but he rode stubbornly. He thought it was like a flashback before death.

The stiff wheels turned little by little, and the traces of the wind finally appeared.

Aimless, Su Hui felt like a wrecked plane that couldn't save itself, constantly falling on the crowded road.

So without any surprise, he slammed into the green belt and fell.

The injured Su Hui curled up on the ground for a long time, her wrists and knees were worn out, but she didn't feel any pain.Gathering his consciousness slightly, he propped himself up on the ground, picked up his baseball cap, stubbornly helped the car up, and pushed it aside.

For no apparent reason, he felt thirsty, a feeling that seemed unbearable, made worse by the incessant honking of the road horn.So he leaned the car against the tree and looked at some shops beside the street in a daze.

During the depression period, he had obvious dyslexia, which became more obvious after taking the medicine, and the words would enlarge and fly in front of his eyes.Some very common words took a long time to read, and it took him a whole night at the end of a book.

After choosing a coffee shop, Su Hui walked straight but slowly towards it.

The cold air came oncoming through the gap in the glass door, awakening some vitality for his stiff limbs.

After standing in the queue at the ordering counter for a while, it was his turn.Su Hui's hat was pulled down very low, she wore a mask, and she didn't look up at the clerk who was ordering food.He whispered that he wanted a latte, remembered that he was taking medicine, and belatedly said that he wanted to switch to plant milk.

Fortunately, the other party didn't mind his slow speech, and asked kindly: "Is it vegetable milk? Do you need ice?"

The clerk's voice was pleasant, Su Hui was distracted for a while and didn't answer.He didn't nod until he heard the other party repeating it softly.

"Okay, please find a place to wait for a while, and I will send you there later."

Su Hui forgot to take the ticket slip and number plate handed over by the other party, turned around, and slowly found a corner by the window to sit down.

He still didn't realize that his wound was bleeding, and he looked out of the window in a daze, staring at the people who were in a hurry.

Under the glaring and venomous sun, few people had a happy smile on their faces.

Su Hui actually didn't want to read these things.At the last moment, he wanted to see the lush grass waves, or stand at the bottom of the cliff and watch the waterfall fall from the sky, and the water droplets more abundant than rainwater sprinkled on the skin.

Or the sea, the endless sea.

But he thought again, even if he saw it now, he might not be able to feel the beauty with vitality, it would be a waste.

While in a daze, Su Hui heard the sound of the plate colliding lightly with the table, but she didn't have time to turn around immediately.

"This is your plant milk latte, please take it easy."

It's this voice again.

Su Hui confirmed that it was the same person, but turned his head a little too late, and only saw the back.He just stared at it like this until he saw the owner of the voice standing at the ordering counter, turned around, and showed a handsome face.

This is a face that matches the voice very well, and it will bring people a lot of tender reveries.

Su Hui lowered her eyelids, wanting to drink something, only to find that there were a few band-aids on the dinner plate, with cartoon pictures of rabbits drawn on them, which did not match the other party's appearance.

He opened his wrist, staring quietly at the bleeding wound and his beating pulse.

Half an hour later, Su Hui changed his mind and simply chose to shelve the plan like delaying reading a book.

He put his last candy on the plate and left the cafe.

But the appearance of such a person, such a small kindness, is just a small ripple occasionally appearing in a pool of stagnant water, and it cannot save a decadent life.

Back home, Su Hui put all the band-aids back in the drawer and never opened them again.

This long pain gnawed at Su Hui's desire little by little. He lay on the bed for a whole day without dripping water, and it was difficult for him to even get up. The rope in the garden seemed to have been severely tied by something, and he stood up abruptly.

Back in the room, Su Hui tied a rope around his neck and tightened it tightly.

The scary thing is that he even turned on the camera and recorded the whole process, including the part interrupted by his aunt.

Afterwards, Su Hui turned on the video and saw her sleepy-eyed mother rushing over, hugging her, crying and beating, and didn't feel much.

He thought he was stuck.

But such a decisive self-end Su Hui didn't do it a second time, because he always thought of the rabbit Band-Aid.

This long period of cruel low tide also ended very suddenly, without transition, without any opportunity, and without a chance to buffer, Su Hui directly entered the stage of hypomania.

The excitement brought about by the illness made him feel like being pushed into a roller coaster, soaring into the sky, his feet seemed to never touch the ground, and he could always float in the clouds.

At times like this, Su Hui would always have an unprecedented fondness for herself, and she would always be in high spirits, thinking that she was omnipotent, and the arrogance nurtured in a wealthy family would swell and magnify, and there would be nowhere to hide.

Su Hui went back to school, full of eagerness and confidence in learning, and extremely efficient.He was also willing to throw himself into society, unlike his usual avoidance of the eyes of others because he had no friends.

Although the time to go to school may not add up to one semester, many things have been passed around and reached his ears.

The only person he could confide in was his nanny and auntie, and she was very sad when she heard that, hugged Su Hui, gently stroked his back, and asked him if he was sad.

At that time, Su Hui was still in the irritability period, so she still laughed.

"What they said is too exaggerated. Aunt Chen, no one in school has ever hugged me like you."

He didn't hang shoulders together on the playground like ordinary boys, no holding hands, no hugs, where did more come from.

But it was impossible to tell where the rumors came from. Maybe it was the suitor who was rejected by him, or maybe it was someone else, it didn't matter who it was, and Su Hui didn't care anymore.

While browsing the school website, he stumbled across a video of last year's grand prize scholarship defense meeting.

The first person to appear on the stage happened to be the boy who had given him a Band-Aid in the coffee shop, with a very nice name - Ning Yixiao.

This name has a romantic and tragic color, like a person who will abandon everything for the one he loves, and would rather just have one night.

But what he showed in his defense was sunshine, confidence, and a very powerful mind.Even though he was dressed plainly, he still caught everyone's attention.The presentation is laid out with data that symbolizes success, as well as patents, papers and other proofs of the best.

This wise man has a very inappropriate name.

It was rare for Su Hui to be so concentrated during the manic period. He stared at the smile on the other person's face, listened to him intently, and had some conflicting emotions in his heart.

The two "meetings" seemed to be one-way, and the other party did not know his existence.

This may seem like a coincidence, but it's actually nothing special.Su Hui turned off the video, opened the drawer, and glanced at the band-aid, but did nothing.But perhaps because of the encouragement of hypomania, there was something faintly beating in his heart.

Su Hui was very interested in hearing that the school had organized a new reading and viewing event, but he found out a little late, and the multimedia classroom was hard to find, so he couldn't arrive on time.

However, the coming of the rain is accompanied by a certain romantic atmosphere, so even if he is wet and late, he is not embarrassed at all, but full of anticipation.

Strangely, the moment Su Hui entered the classroom, she felt Ning Yixiao's existence with certainty.

In the dim space, he found the target without hindrance, and he also noticed that the other party was staring at him.The movie had already started showing, and the room was as quiet as a lake, but the picture on the curtain was blown by a strong wind.It looks very free.

What would happen if there were three coincidences in just two weeks?

While watching the movie, Su Hui was a little distracted and kept thinking about this question.

Invisibly, there seemed to be a gust of wind, pushing Ning Yixiao to his side little by little, bringing some disturbances to Su Hui's stagnant life.

In the changing light and shadow, Su Hui could clearly see Ning Yixiao's non-evasive eyes, and also heard his own heartbeat.

He found that the girl in the row in front of him was writing something, and he noticed that everyone around him had a card, but he didn't.

Realizing that she came too late and didn't get it, Su Hui turned her whole body up and down, only the tissue.

never mind.

He borrowed a pen and wrote a sentence on a tissue.

Perhaps it was caused by the illness, or perhaps it was the coincidences that created a tinge of romance. Su Hui liked such things, so he naturally wrote down his contact information on another tissue.

This was the first time in his life that he did such a thing, impulsive and unreasonable.But at that time, he thought that he would definitely succeed, and even later in the reading room, Su Hui checked his social software again and again, wanting to see the "new friends" added as soon as possible.

But afterwards, or after he came out of the manic period, he realized that this was an overconfident behavior, and felt ashamed and remorseful about it.

What was even more hasty was that he called Ning Yixiao by his name before he introduced himself.

It was only natural that Su Hui didn't wait for his friends to join him.

This can be somewhat discouraging, except for sick people.

Like many people with this disorder, Su Hui will feel unprecedented pride and joy during the hypomanic period, and a small blow is nothing at all.

Unintentionally, a week later, he met Ning Yixiao again.It was also raining that day, but it was a quieter rainy night.

When Su Hui walked into the classroom, she felt that someone was watching her, and when she looked up, she found that it was Ning Yixiao.

The two looked at each other briefly, and he felt that Ning Yixiao wanted to say something, but he didn't.

After several days of insomnia and the rain, Su Hui's agitation decreased a lot, and she was relatively calm under the control of the medicine.

He thought it was the fourth time.

After returning to her seat, Su Hui didn't say a word, and focused on tutoring what was left behind, which was extremely efficient.

After a long time, when she looked up at the time, Su Hui felt strange that Ning Yixiao didn't seem to plan to go back to the dormitory.

People like him with bipolar disorder are severely mentally ill.Grandpa thinks he is a complete "dangerous element", and he is not allowed to live in the school, and he is not allowed to be independent. Even if he stays in the school overnight because of excitement, there will be a driver watching not far away.

But Ning Yixiao was different, he seemed to be emotionally stable, mentally healthy, and he wouldn't have nowhere to go.

At about three o'clock in the morning, Su Hui felt tired, turned her head and found that Ning Yixiao had fallen asleep, her shoulders and back were slightly heaving, and she was sleeping deeply.

Without any further response, Su Hui turned around and finished all the questions with his own thoughts.

Feeling tight in his chest and his heart beating heavily, he took out the cigarettes he bought from a convenience store and planned to smoke one by the window.

But Ning Yixiao seemed to be able to interrupt his plans forever, whether it was smoking or something else.

They seem to have a tacit understanding, and they all forgot the last time he gave the contact information.Ning Yixiao invited him to have breakfast, but Su Hui didn't refuse.

He checked his wallet in the restaurant, ordered some randomly, and just spent all the money, but he was not embarrassed by his lack of money budget, because he was used to it.

During mania, he always spends a lot of irrational things, such as buying all the desserts in an entire cake shop, so much that he can't fit them in the car.Once passing by a pet store, Su Hui bought all the small animals locked in glass cabinets, and took them all home.

There are too many such cases.

Su Hui still remembers how his grandfather got into a rage when he saw the electronic bill one day. He remembered that he yelled at the absurdity and ordered his mother to give him some fixed banknotes every day during the manic period to pay for necessary expenses.

Su Hui is a very uncontrollable life form, longing for freedom, but because she is not healthy enough, she has been restrained by a hard glass cover until now.

Fortunately, Ning Yixiao is a kind person, seems very easy to get along with, and very generous.

So when he said "see you next time", Su Hui felt happy.

This "next time" came earlier than he expected, and it was still in the "good stage" that Su Hui thought, so he was very lucky.Somehow, he found that he was not willing to face Ning Yixiao in a bad state.

Although that's how they started.Although he crossed the line at the beginning, he met Ning Yixiao when he was most excited and established a morbid relationship.

The author has something to say:

One of the reasons why Su Hui’s perspective was less in the early stage is that I think it would be very sad to write from Xiaohui’s perspective, but in fact, Ning Yixiao’s perspective is not much better, they are all poor children.

Seeing my friends here, no matter whether you are healthy or not, no matter how hard you have encountered, or how much pain you feel in your life, you must remember to cherish yourself, love yourself, and cherish not only life , and there are countless possibilities in the future folded in life, there is always a certain [possibility] in which you are very happy and happy.