1122

"This is my medicine for depression."

The three words 'depression' were like a boulder, hitting Jiang Yi's head heavily.

Jiang's eyes were red, his thin lips trembled slightly, and his brows were furrowed. He just looked at Yan Nanchen like this, tears flowed uncontrollably, and all the words could no longer be used to describe his near collapse at the moment , Even breathing feels labored.

It's unbelievable, it's unbearable.

Also why.

He clenched his hands tightly and turned sideways, tilted his head slightly, and the uneasy standing made him very uncomfortable, and he opened his mouth, sobbing so hard that he couldn't even cry out.

Couldn't even speak.

His mind went blank, and his body shook.

"One by one!" Yan Nanchen supported Jiang Yi with sharp eyes and quick hands. Seeing him crying, he felt very uncomfortable, hugged him into his arms, and coaxed him along his back with his hands: "I'm fine, I'm really fine, As long as I take my medicine on time, I'll be fine, so don't cry."

Jiang Yi put his forehead on Yan Nanchen's shoulder and lowered his eyes. His tears flowed like this. He noticed that Yan Nanchen's body was shaking, but he restrained himself from trembling in order to hug him. uncomfortable.

He didn't know what to use to describe such discomfort, suffocation, and fear. This overwhelming bad emotion began to make him fall into a situation where he couldn't think but he had to think seriously.

Why exactly?

...Is it because of him?

Jiang Yi raised his hand and gently pushed Yan Nanchen's chest away. His hand tremblingly grasped his heart. The heart hurt so badly that he couldn't stand up and slowly squatted down, staring at the place with tears. White pills.

The trembling fingertips touched the medicine, and the touch made his hands tremble.

Yan Nanchen saw that Jiang Yi touched his medicine, tears just fell like this, and he didn't say a word. This kind of overly intense grief made him very anxious, and he couldn't bear Jiang Yi's behavior at all, so he stretched out his hand to hug him: "You Don’t squat when you just wake up, go back to bed and lie down first.”

The outstretched hand was held tightly by Jiang Yi, and he was suddenly stunned.

The hand was cold and shaking violently.

"...puppy, I made you sick, didn't I?"

Almost unbearable choked sobs sounded in the ward, Yan Nanchen squatted on one knee in front of Jiang Yi, facing the tears on his face, and the emotional breakdown conveyed from his body.

For a moment, he was very annoyed.

"No, it's not because of you." Worried that he was crying too much, Yan Nanchen cupped his face with both hands to wipe his tears, and then met Jiang Yi's tearful gaze on him, his heart trembled.

Those moist light amber eyes reflected his appearance, full of self-blame, unbelievable, and heartache.

Perhaps feeling the strong distress from the other party, Yan Nanchen lowered his head, his eyes turning red.

"puppy, it's because of me... right?" Jiang Yi knelt on the ground, he stroked Yan Nanchen's hand holding his cheek, and seeing Yan Nanchen suddenly lowered his head, at this moment, the heartache that filled his chest made him cry Out loud: "Why didn't you tell me when you were sick?"

Seeing him kneeling on the ground suddenly, Yan Nanchen stretched out his hand to hug him, but when he heard this, he was silent for a moment, silently withdrew his hand, not daring to look at him:

"What qualifications do I have to tell you, it's my own fault."

"When did it happen?" Jiang Yi cried, seeing that Yan Nanchen didn't dare to look at him, he sat forward, cupped his face in his hands and forced him to look up: "Look at me and say."

Yan Nanchen glanced at Shang Jiang, felt distressed for himself, and cried into tears. He couldn't bear it, and looked away: "Last year."

"Yan Nanchen." Jiang Yi's hands holding his cheeks trembled violently, staring at Yan Nanchen with sobs, and pulling the corners of his lips: "...Don't lie to me, if you lie to me again, I really don't want you. "

"Don't want me." Yan Nanchen's eyes were filled with panic, he sat on the ground, pulled Jiang Yi into his lap and hugged him tightly, his voice trembling slightly: "I said, I told you, don't want me." I."

It was the begging to put down his self-esteem, the fear almost to anxiety, Jiang Yi noticed Yan Nanchen's abnormality.

"You say." He took a deep breath to ease his emotions, and tried his best not to get too excited.

"Five years, from being diagnosed to receiving treatment and taking medicine, five years."

"Why do you have depression? Is it because of me?"

"No, don't think about it."

"Yan Nanchen, don't lie to me again, it's because of me, it's because of me."

When the words were asked here, the ward fell into a brief silence.

Yan Nanchen hugged Jiang Yi on his lap, buried his face in Jiang Yi's shoulders and neck, hugged him tightly, shed tears without saying a word, and breathed out one after another.

After a while, he said in a hoarse voice: "I'm too afraid of losing you. Every time you say you hate Yan Nanchen, I hate myself very much. I don't think I'm good at all."

Jiang Yi was stunned, and suddenly seemed to think of something, and looked at Yan Nanchen in a daze.

Tears flowed down again.

"Yiyi, I knew you didn't like me at that time, and then I changed it when I knew you didn't like me. When I was in the group, every time you came to me, I would ask my assistant to prepare your favorite drink for you. There are snacks you like. I'm also trying to use Yan Nanchen's identity to praise you, and I won't speak harshly like before."

"After being with you, I am puppy at night, and I can get along with you and look at you as your boyfriend. When you appear in front of me during the day, I can't help but want to look at you. Report I want to see you when you are talking to my assistant, I also want to see you, when you ask me to sign in my office, I can't help but want to see you."

"It's the same in meetings. I used to be strict with myself, but when you sit across from me, I can't concentrate at all. I only have eyes for you."

"I can hug you freely at night, but I am more eager to hug you during the day."

"But every time I pluck up the courage to confess to you, something very bad will happen, because my negligence caused you to split twice unexpectedly. You said Yan Nanchen ruined you, you said you hated Yan Nanchen Nan Chen, slowly I started to hate myself too."

"Why am I called Yan Nanchen, why is it Yan Nanchen, why am I not Chu Beiheng..."

"On the day when the hospital asked me to sign a critical illness notice, I only dared to sign my brother's name. I was afraid of being discovered by you. Really, I was too scared... One by one, I really don't want you to hate me, But I made you hate me more and more."

"I don't know what to do, I'd love to tell you, but I'm afraid you'll leave me."

"But in the end you still left me."

Yan Nanchen broke down in tears, and poured out the words he had buried in his heart for five years. At this moment, he did not feel torture, but a kind of complete relief.

Jiang Yi was heartbroken by Yan Nanchen's appearance. He cried and wiped his tears in a panic: "puppy, I'm sorry, don't cry..."

Yan Nanchen cried and said with a smile: "You don't have to tell me you're sorry. I'm too cowardly. If I say so, maybe you won't have to be wronged. It's me who made you suffer. I deserve depression." See Jiang Yiyou was frightened by him, raised his head and kissed the corner of his lips and coaxed: "Don't worry, I have been taking medicine obediently all the time, because I want to be well, and when you come back, I will appear healthy and healthy in front of you. before."

Jiang Yi cried aloud, sat in Yan Nanchen's arms, lowered his head, kissed him with trembling lips: "Did you really take the medicine well? What did the doctor say, can you get well?"

"Yes, I have been taking good medicine all the time, but there is a physical therapy I am very resistant to, because after the treatment, I will forget you for a short time, I don't want to." Yan Nanchen responded to his kiss: "I want I will always remember you."

"Why didn't you come after me after I smashed the house?"

"I was suffering from depression at the time. When I fell down, my knee was stuck in the flesh by the glass. I also thought about chasing you, but my grandfather broke my leg. Later, the depression developed into severe depression. I I completely lost the ability to live independently, and began to have hallucinations, even delusions, that you were still with me, and spent two years in the hospital."

Jiang Yi couldn't hold back when he heard it. He raised his head and cried so hard that he couldn't breathe.

Maybe he has had a hard time these years, and he has also experienced the pain of bereavement, but it doesn't mean he doesn't feel sorry for Yan Nanchen, he is very distressed, he is very distressed, he has no idea that what he said will affect so many deep.

Let Yan Nanchen constantly deny himself and be afraid to confess every day, and then suffer from depression.

"Let me see the legs." Jiang Yi cried, he got off Yan Nanchen's body, and made a gesture to pull his trouser legs to check.

"It's okay, I'll be fine soon." Yan Nanchen hugged him, calmed his emotions, and coaxed with red eyes: "Yiyi, don't be afraid, I have been taking medicine all the time, and I haven't thought about dying for a day Yes, because I haven't waited for you to come back, I still want to love you."

"...That won't work either." Jiang Yi was so distressed that he held his face and wept uncontrollably: "Why didn't you tell me that you had to take the medicine secretly, didn't you make me cry?"

"How can I be willing to let you cry."

"But I'm already crying." Jiang Yi cried so much that he couldn't help himself. He lowered his head and kissed Yan Nanchen, time and time again, the small kisses were silent pity, with salty tears on his lips: "puppy, what are you doing?" Can you be sick..."

"I'll be fine." Yan Nanchen felt his kiss, and there was a satisfied smile in his moist eyes: "Yi Yi, as long as you are by my side, I will get better soon."

Jiang Yi bent down, hugged Yan Nanchen's shoulders, and said in a muffled voice, "puppy, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that about you."

He never thought that what he had said would invisibly cause such great harm to others, and such harm was placed on Yan Nanchen, and he felt so distressed.

He didn't know how much Yan Nanchen had suffered in these years, and this person didn't say anything and just held back like this.

"If I didn't see you taking the medicine, are you going to lie to me again?"

Yan Nanchen looked at Shang Jiangyi's aggrieved and tearful eyes, wiped his tears with the back of his hand, and said sorry: "I was wrong, I will never do this again, please stop crying, I will regret it if you cry again." I'm taking medicine here."

The depths of my heart that have been hollowed out by depression in the past five years are being healed bit by bit. All Jiang Liuliu's tears are for him.

Doesn't this mean that Jiang Yi actually loves him very much.

Then his five years were not torture.

Everything makes sense.

Being able to bring Jiang Yi back is the meaning of his life.

"Don't lie to me again." Jiang Yi cried until his head was buzzing, perhaps because he was still weak after waking up, he rested his head on Yan Nanchen's shoulder, and said in a muffled voice: "You are already here with me. Got two convictions."

This feeling of heartache to heartbreak is suffocating, and he still can't relieve it now.

All he can do now is to love Yan Nanchen well.

Don't leave any regrets.

Yan Nanchen smiled through his tears. He kissed Jiang Yi on the cheek, and then put his buttocks in his arms, so that he could look down at him from above: "I know Officer Jiang, I will be obedient in the future."

The two met each other's eyes and looked at each other for a long time.

The afterglow outside the window fell into the room, enveloping them gently, reflecting their embracing figures on the ground, overlapping.The pills that fell on the ground seemed to be evidence of the past, and if they were relieved, they should be thrown into the trash can.

Jiang Yi just stared at Yan Nanchen like this, and after a long time, he called softly: "puppy."

"Ah."

"Do you know, after I split into an omega, you are my only relative in this world. I asked you to mark me, which means that you are to me, and I don't want to go without you in the future."

Yan Nanchen resisted his sobs and replied, "Yes, I know."

Jiang Yi lowered his eyes and shed tears. He stroked Yan Nanchen's cheek, acted coquettishly with his fingertips, and then said with a smile: "So from now on, I will supervise you to take medicine well, just like you supervise me to take medicine. Take medicine well, and we will all be well."

"it is good."

The figure falling on the ground changed, and a slightly slender hand stretched out, covering the big hand propped on the ground, and tucked it between the fingers of the big hand.

Fingers clasped, palms together.

Jiang Yi kissed Yan Nanchen's ear, and his eyes were red: "We still have a lot to do in the future, and we have to watch Qiao Qiao grow up. Both of us must be healthy and healthy."

"Okay." Yan Nanchen closed his eyes, took a deep breath and smiled, and replied, "Okay."

Jiang Yi laughed out loud: "Yan Nanchen, you who can fight against depression and let me see you who are so strong and full of security, you are really amazing."

Perhaps it was the knot of depression in his heart, this praise seemed to cut off the shackles that imprisoned Yan Nanchen.

"Really? Am I really good?"

"Really." Jiang Yi leaned into his ear and coaxed: "I didn't see it clearly in the past, but now I see it clearly. The person I like is great. He is very responsible, caring, gentle, and gentle. An alpha with a sense of security, he is my puppy, his name is..."

"Yan Nanchen."

Yan Nanchen couldn't bear it anymore, hugged Jiang Yi tightly and cried out.

The two hugged each other tightly, as if racing against time to regain the five years that had passed.

There is no hypothetical backward time in love, only in the forward flow of time, growing up through one experience after another, the suffering and pain suffered are unforgettable, and it also makes the other party who has not missed each other love more deeply.

They decided to let go of everything in the past and start over.