Yamakawa

It's getting colder.

On the day of Double Eleven, Xishi’s sales broke records, Sanqiqi swiped the screen in the group, and then gave out red envelopes to celebrate, Xie Qiujie picked up hundreds of dollars.

He still stays in the kitchen every day making desserts, being instructed by He Chengmo, and then goes out to the stall at night, but the weather has been cold recently, so the business is naturally not as good as before, but this month's income is also more than he used to work for a month.

After closing the stall at night, Xie Qiujie said to Xia Youqing, "You go up first, and I'll get a courier."

"Is there a lot? I'll get it for you."

"Not much, I'll just take it myself."

Even so, Xia Youqing still followed Xie Qiujie. Xie Qiujie was holding a few bags of couriers, a little helpless, "Why are you acting like a primary school student?"

Follow wherever you go.

Xia Youqing held a very light bag of unknown things in his hand, it was funny, "You don't like young people, are elementary school students enough?"

Xie Qiujie: "..."

That's not the case, he has no strange hobbies.

Throwing the courier on the coffee table, Xie Qiujie had no time to pay attention to him, opened the courier one by one, took out a thick smoky blue sweater and compared it to Xia Youqing.

"It feels about the same, you should be able to wear it."

Xia Youqing looked at the sweater and said in astonishment, "You bought it for me?"

"Well, it's just... the weather is cold, so I bought you a sweater by the way. It seems that you used to have this brand of sweater. I only bought the style and color because I thought you might like it."

Xia Youqing wore Xia Youqing's clothes before the Xie Qiu Festival. Xia Youqing usually wore loose and casual clothes. He estimated that the size should be about the same.

Xie Qiujie has never been good at expressing his kindness, so he pursed his lips and said in a low voice, "Would you like to give it a try? If it doesn't fit, you can change it, and you can change the color."

Xia Youqing looked at the clothes of Xie Qiujie, guessing that Xie Qiujie's clothes were not as expensive as this one. With a complicated heart, he said with a smile: "Buy me a four-figure sweater, thank you boss for winning the lottery?"

Xie Qiujie paused, "I can wear anything."

He didn't care about the brand that much, but the things he gave Xia Youqing couldn't be as casual as he was.

Xia Youqing didn't know what to say.

Xie Qiujie said, "You have a try?"

"it is good."

Xia Youqing took off his coat in front of him, Xie Qiujie pretended to look down at his courier, and packed up his things, but he didn't buy anything.

The size is very suitable, Xie Qiujie turned his eyes around Xia Youqing a few times.

Xia Youqing came over, smiling bewitchingly, "Am I handsome?"

"……handsome."

For the next few days, Xia Youqing kept wearing that sweater in front of Xie Qiujie's eyes, and Xie Qiujie looked at him with a wooden face pretending to be blind.

He must have been called handsome by a ghost, which made Xia Youqing push himself.

The ginkgoes in the park are all dyed golden yellow, full and pure golden, as if it can warm the whole autumn, and even the cold becomes artistic.

Every time the wind blows, golden ginkgo leaves fall one after another, like a golden rain on earth.

The weather was too cold, Xie Qiu took a day off without setting up a stall, and was pulled out by Xia Youqing to enjoy the ginkgo.

Xie Qiujie watched him take the camera and keep looking for angles to take pictures of this golden warmth, and then he started to pick ginkgoes with his hands idle.

He was squatting and picking ginkgo leaves when suddenly a boy who looked like a college student squatted beside him curiously and asked him, "Student, what are you doing?"

"..."

Forget it, Xie Qiujie is almost used to it, so I don't bother to explain.

He said, "Pick up ginkgo."

"Why pick up ginkgo?"

"Just pick it up and play around," Xie Qiujie asked with a slumped face, "Aren't you going to class?"

He remembered that although there was a university nearby, it was still some distance away.

The boy's face is handsome, with youthful vigor, and his eyebrows are slightly curved when he smiles, "I don't have class today, so I just want to take a stroll. I saw that the ginkgo trees here are very beautiful."

"I'm a sophomore this year, and I'm studying physical education. My classmate, which department are you in?"

"..." Xie Qiujie said nonsense, "I am a senior in high school this year."

Boy: "..."

The boy scratched his head, believing it was true, and smiled a little shyly, "I'm sorry, I thought you were in college too, isn't it Friday today, you skipped class, you look very good, you still have to study hard in your third year of high school."

Xie Qiujie: "..."

How could anyone believe such outrageous things!

This made Xie Qiujie's conscience uneasy, and he said, "I'm lying to you, I graduated a long time ago."

"Ah...you look so young, and the mole next to the eye is so beautiful, so let me call you brother, it's boring to watch ginkgo alone, brother, how about I treat you to milk tea, I finally met someone who is interested in watching it People from Ginkgo are very destined, right?" The boy took out his phone, "Brother, why don't you add a WeChat account, I think you are quite interesting, let's make friends."

The sports student has great social skills, he can chat so much with someone he just met, and Xie Qiujie obviously doesn't talk much.

"Do not……"

Before Xie Qiujie finished speaking, he was suddenly dragged up, and the ginkgo leaves in his arms were scattered all over the ground. He looked at Xia Youqing in a daze, "What are you doing, I lost all the ginkgo leaves."

Xia Youqing remained silent with a cold face, and hid Xie Qiujie behind him.

The boy stood up and looked at Xie Qiujie with a refreshing smile, "Brother, your friends, why don't I treat you to milk tea."

Xie Qiujie: "..."

Xie Qiujie quickly shook his head, "No, thank you for your kindness, I accompanied him to take pictures of ginkgo."

The boy looked at Xie Qiujie and still didn't give up, "Then you can add a contact information, I like you quite a bit, maybe you can give it a try."

?

???

Xie Qiujie suspected that he was wrong, and then someone covered his eyes. Xia Youqing had a cold face, his aggressiveness was very obvious, and he said coldly: "He has a partner."

Boy: "..."

The boy looked at Xia Youqing and looked at Xie Qiujie who was hiding behind him and covering his eyes. He remembered the tone of Xie Qiujie talking to him just now, and said to Xia Youqing with a slight complaint. He was a little embarrassed holding the phone, "Sorry , I thought he had no object."

When Xie Qiujie took Xia Youqing's hand away, the sports student had already left. He was not in the mood to pay attention to others, so he poked Xia Youqing, "Cover my eyes again, what are you saying that is shameful?"

Xia Youqing exuded an unpleasant breath, "Say you have a partner."

"Oh." Xie Qiujie was not surprised, squatted down to pick up the ginkgo, remembered that he seemed to have a plastic bag, and put the golden ginkgo into the plastic bag.

"Xie Qiujie, I said you have a partner!" Xia Youqing squatted down and let Xie Qiujie look at him.

Xie Qiujie looked at him strangely, "Anyway, it's just an excuse, if there is one, there will be."

Xia Youqing used this excuse to reject girls at Xida University, and Xie Qiujie was not interested in that boy in the first place.

"..." Xia Youqing was discouraged, so he could only say: "He said he likes you, what do you think?"

"Young people look at my face and don't like me if they know who I am. Just listen to this kind of words." Xie Qiujie was very calm.

He has nothing worthy of liking by others, his personality is not pleasing, he has no money, no house and is disabled.

"What does it mean to know who you are and not like it? It's to know who you are to be liked."

Xie Qiujie concentrates on picking fallen leaves, as if ginkgo is a treasure.

He had heard this kind of words from Xia Youqing, just listen to it, Xie Qiujie told himself.

Xie Qiujie's chin was suddenly raised slightly by someone, and he was forced to look at Xia Youqing, saw Xia Youqing and said, "If I say I like you, will you try it with me?"

Xie Qiujie looked at him and blinked unconsciously. He couldn't tell whether Xia Youqing was talking flirtatiously or seriously.

A love letter suddenly flashed in his mind, a pool of blood, as if countless people were screaming, Xie Qiujie just stood there quietly, his ears began to lose their ringing.

Blood red, school uniform, silent.

Can't hear, can't hear again.

Insomnia all night long, counseling room, numerous collapses.

After a long time, Xie Qiujie smiled ironically, with a cold face and a calm tone, talking about irrelevant topics, "Xia Youqing, do you know why I don't wear a hearing aid?"

Xia Youqing didn't know.

But he remembered that Xie Qiujie said that because he couldn't hear anything about it six years ago, he remembered that when Xie Qiujie broke up with his family, Xie Qiuri yelled that you knew the fate of that gay, why did you become gay.

He vaguely knew that Xie Qiujie seemed to have a shadow on homosexuality, Xie Qiujie just did not discriminate, but he was afraid, he didn't want him to be.

So Xia Youqing never dared to touch his scar.

It's just that I like to say thousands of times in those coquettish words.

While picking up the ginkgo, Xie Qiujie said to himself: "When I was in high school, there was a boy who was gay. He was bullied on campus and was pointed at and scolded by many people. Everyone avoided him like the plague. Later He killed himself."

Their small county is remote, and the village is even more remote. Everyone scolded that classmate for being sick and calling him abnormal.

The world has too much prejudice against the few and misleads all.

He is disabled and he is deaf. He used to be slow to do anything because he couldn't read lips, and then he was bullied, just like the boy who likes the same sex, he was also bullied by others.

But they obviously did nothing wrong, and the disability was not Xie Qiujie's fault.

"Jumped off the building and died in front of my eyes, and then I couldn't hear it anymore."

It was the first time that Xie Qiujie witnessed death with his own eyes, which caused him to seem to have a shadow of love, and it took him a long time to get out of the grief that obviously did not belong to him.

The doctor said it was a psychological reason, and wearing the best hearing aids was useless.

Since then, the world of Xie Qiujie has become a pantomime again.

Suddenly, the heart seemed to be tightly grasped by someone with a big hand, and it hurt. Xia Youqing seemed to feel the pain that Xie Qiujie couldn't express in a few words.

He felt uncomfortable, aphasia and generally unable to speak.

Xie Qiujie picked a large number of ginkgoes, stood up as if nothing had happened, and asked calmly, "Have you finished shooting?"

"...The filming is over." Xia Youqing lowered his head, his voice difficult.

Xie Qiujie walked forward with a bag of golden yellow. He was clearly in the pure warmth of autumn, but he felt uncomfortable and his heart ached. He didn't know whether it was because of Xia Youqing or the past.

He glanced back at Xia Youqing, paused for a moment, and said softly, "Xia Youqing, please don't talk to me in the future, I will take it seriously."

Seriously, he didn't know how to face Xia Youqing.

Xie Qiujie has too many flaws in his heart, he would feel uneasy even being loved, and he is only suitable for living this long life alone.

Anyway, a lifetime goes by in the blink of an eye.

Xia Youqing's eyes were full of sadness that Xie Qiujie couldn't understand, but he saw Xia Youqing nodded his head lightly and said yes, it seemed that Xia Youqing would always agree to his many requests, but the more so, the more inexplicably sad Xie Qiujie was.

Xie Qiujie passed by one ginkgo tree after another, and the wind blew up the fallen leaves. Xia Youqing followed behind him, stepping on his shadow.

"I like you."

"I only like you, I like you very much."