book of contract

Kira took Feiyin out of the lounge. Feiyin just passively walked forward like a lifeless puppet, being led forward by Kira. After Kira said that sentence, Feiyin let go of her hand. , being dragged away by him without any words.

Until they were led by Kira to the moving channel, in this silent cosmic night, the two people were still surrounded by a heavy silence.

"Kira..." Sorry.

Before Fei Yin finished speaking, she was interrupted by Kira.

"I'm sorry, Feiyin." Kira turned her back to her, let go of her wrist, and punched the hard and transparent wall. It’s like taking my anger out on Fei Yin, it’s despicable.” Through the reflection on the wall, I saw Kira’s sad smile with her back turned to her, as if she was about to cry.

But this kind of Kira made Feiyin feel a heart-wrenching pain. Why did she rush to apologize? He was clearly not at fault... There was nothing wrong with him. She said cruel things and didn't care about Kira's mood, it was her!It was she who easily destroyed what Kira wanted to protect.Why on earth should I apologize to her! ?

"Don't apologize to me..." She couldn't help but opened her mouth, and in this non-gravity place, she jumped in front of Kira, "What the hell are you going to do, I'm the one who said so many cruel things to you, I'm the one who should apologize!"

"Why did Feiyin apologize? Isn't Feiyin telling the truth?" Kira smiled sadly but helplessly at Feiyin, "Feiyin is not wrong, but I can't see clearly. She is indeed very embarrassed and pitiful. ...I have been avoiding and refusing to face it.”

——As a new human being, standing among natural people, even if you are accepted by their words, there is still an insurmountable wall blocking you in your heart. You know that this is unreal...

——You are a new human, Kira, no one will appreciate you even if you fight with your life.They don't believe in your protection at all, do they?

——You think you are necessary for them, but when the real danger comes, they will choose to abandon you to save themselves.No one cares about your struggles, no one cares about your pain, even if you give everything to protect, you will still get doubts in the end, and you will not be accepted by natural people from the beginning.

——Kira, in this earth army, you, a new human being, are doomed to be alone.

He already knew what Concubine Yin said, didn't he? He already had the awareness to bear it, but why is it still in such pain?Kira subconsciously grabbed the lapel of his chest. When he really faced the suspicious and even hateful eyes of his trusted and trusted partners, he was still afraid.

"In the end, everything was just like what Feiyin said. My dedication and hard work were meaningless. In their eyes, I was just a new human being, an unreliable new human being. But I naively believed that as long as I worked hard, As long as I don't care, they won't care..."

Fleur's hoarse accusations could be heard in his ears, and Kazui's suspicious expression could be seen in front of his eyes.

Obviously he was the one who told Concubine Yin at the beginning that he knew about it a long time ago and said it didn't matter, but at this moment he really regretted it.

"Kira." Looking at Kira who was smiling so sad and painful in front of him, he remembered the way he was holding her and crying, crying so sadly and desperately telling her that he knew those cruel facts and had always Everyone knows that even if he is deceiving himself...he wants to pretend that he can't see those alienations. As a new human being, he wants to hold on to the friendship of natural people, hoping that it can last forever, and has been working hard for it...

Is this really wrong?Is it stupid?

——I don't want to be a new human, I don't want to sit and fight with that guy.All I want is to survive in a neutral country with you... I have always worked hard with this hope, if I don't deceive myself, I can't go on at all!

——I have no way out...I've always been scared, Feiyin...

——Please...keep lying to me, Feiyin...please...

The Kira at that time seemed to overlap with the painful Kira at the moment. Is this the reality she wanted Kira to face?Is this the truth she wants Kira to admit?

As she expected, Kira was betrayed by what he believed so strongly.Obviously trying very hard to make him avoid all this.

"Obviously I knew it from the beginning... But I don't know why I still feel sad and painful when I hear Fleur say it. As you said, I really mind... I have always minded... I thought as long as If they don't say it, I can keep fighting like this, but now I realize that even this kind of strength is self-deception, and I can't do it at all. Feiyin, I'm stupid and naive, right." As if mocking himself, he raised The corners of his mouth curled up.

"It's only now that I've discovered that maybe it's true what Fleur and the others said, maybe it's because I didn't want to be an enemy of Aslan, so I didn't do my best, which caused her father to die... I It's really weak and selfish."

"A truly selfish person will not admit that he is selfish. If the person you fought with all your strength is selfish because of a momentary carelessness or because he can't bear to be selfish, then what am I going to do?"

"..." Kira never expected to hear such a rhetorical question from Fei Yin.

He didn't answer, but just lowered his head slightly, all his expressions were covered by the shadow of his hair, "I'm sorry, Feiyin, I said that to you... It's because I wasn't firm enough, I couldn't do anything."

"I won't forgive you." Feiyin approached Kira, she didn't care about Kira's sad eyes when she heard such an answer, she just stretched out her hand for him to face her, "Because Kira doesn't need my forgiveness, Kira doesn't have any Wrong. It was me who was wrong, Kira was right, I didn’t treat you sincerely at the beginning, you have the right to hate me and hate me. For this reason, I will not argue."

"Me!" How could you hate Feiyin...Those are all words, all...all...not going through the brain... He is grateful... Kira's face is nothing but sadness when he hears Feiyin's words confidence.

The following words were covered by Fei Yin and she didn't say it. After making sure that he would not interrupt her, Fei Yin continued, "Don't rush to veto, don't say that you don't hate me, sometimes instinctive words are closer to the truth, it doesn't matter It's not ugly, you have the right to hate me, it doesn't matter if you vent all your dissatisfaction and resentment to me, no matter how much pain, no matter how much negativity, I will bear it for you." Her Put your hand on his chest, under the palm of your hand is the sound of Kira's heart beating, "Kira's heart has been crying... Enduring these lives alone, it hurts, you are too gentle, so don't bear it alone again, It's not Kira's fault, let's vent it all, whether it's pain or grievance, just cry if you want to."

Kira suppressed the choking in her throat, and pressed Feiyin's head against her chest, preventing her from seeing her expression. The choking voice seemed to be mixed with helpless and sad laughter, "Gentle, really Is it me? Actually, it’s Feiyin..."

When Feiyin heard his words, she frowned subconsciously. It wasn't her who was gentle, except for Kira, she would no longer be gentle to anyone in this world.

Her tenderness is mixed with the cruel cry of blood and life.

But Kira is different. Even if he bears his life and is stained with blood, his gentleness is still pure and moving.

She wanted to refute, but Kira hugged her too tightly and couldn't look up at all.

"Every time, it is Concubine Yin who gently tolerates all my mistakes, making me seem to see redemption...I have always relied on Concubine Yin, this...is it really Concubine Yin's gentle pity?" Yin replied, Kira didn't want to know the answer, but just hugged her, his tear-stained sad smile was reflected on the transparent wall, "I'm sorry... Obviously I begged Feiyin to continue lying to me, but every time I think about it, I'm still very sad, and I still blame you, obviously it's not your fault, I know it..." I don't want to lose, this is the only tenderness left.

Sure enough, it was despicable. He obviously couldn't bear it himself, but he still tried to shift the pain to Fei Yin.

Hearing Kira's cry, Feiyin realized how deeply the words she said hurt him and how painful the wound was, because at this moment she also realized that the kind of knife stuck in the heart could not be pulled out, it seemed that it was still Stirring the pain that is generally worse than death.

"This is not pity." She broke away from Kira's arms suddenly, looked up and saw Kira's tears, reached out and hugged him suddenly, and whispered in his ear, "This is not pity, all this is from my heart , because I know that Kira wants to be a protector and a redeemer, and I know that if you hold such a belief, if you are betrayed by the belief you want to protect, you will definitely be in pain. I don’t want to see Kira who is sad for others say I'm sorry for those cruel words, and I won't expect your forgiveness."

"Not...mercy? Really?"

"Really, this is not pity. I once said that Kira is alone here as a new human being. Now I take it back. I will always be by your side. Even if everyone betrays you, I will be there around you……"

Even if everyone betrays, Feiyin will...be by his side?

Hearing Fei Yin's words, his eyes suddenly contracted. So he, who even he himself would despise, was still accepted by someone, so someone stayed by his side?

Just thinking about it like this makes me want to cry... I can't help but reach out and hug her who is close at hand, how can I be so gentle... Too cunning... Always say the words he needs most like this ...

Always reach out to him when he is the loneliest and thinks he has nothing.

"I like this... can I really...?" Can such weakness be allowed?

"It's ok, you don't have to be patient in front of me, I told you. Whether it's complaints or pain..." After saying those cruel words, even if it's atonement for this, she will stay by his side, even if The world around him betrayed him, and she would stand by his side.

"Tell me your true wish...as long as it's Kira's wish, I will do whatever it takes to make it happen for you." Even if you hate this world...even if you want to destroy these dirty hearts that cause war.

Hugging Kira tightly, Fei Yin's eyes lit up when she said these words in his ear, like a fire in the night with the power to destroy everything.

Feeling the trembling of Kira's arms around her, she lowered her eyes and made a wish... Then, I will stay by your side.Your wish will become, my life.

"Let me hold you for a while..." Kira's unexpected answer stunned Feiyin. He didn't make a wish, but just tightened his arms and buried them on Feiyin's shoulders. It was incredible. Hearing Feiyin's words, It seems that all the sadness, all the uneasiness, and all the grievances have disappeared.His wish has always been based on the existence of the people around him, but for himself, there is probably only one wish that needs to be fulfilled by Concubine Yin... "As long as you stay by my side, it will be fine."

"This is not a wish. As long as Kira wishes, I can always stay by Kira's side." The bewitching red light gradually faded from her eyes, returning to the original silent deep black, but there was a trace of helpless smile.

"That's enough...as long as I have Feiyin, I can keep going." Even on the road without Sai, Dole, Kazui, and Mirialia's friends, as long as there is Feiyin, he will not be alone.

"Is it like this again? Kira, I don't need your protection." Feiyin looked at him with a shocked expression, but she didn't care at all, "Stop looking for reasons to stand here, you don't want to kill people or fight, right? !? Don’t fight to protect people anymore, don’t let yourself get into painful battles anymore, Kira hates war, right? A person’s strength is too small to fundamentally eliminate wars, but there is a fundamental solution to this All methods. That is, get out of here, don't care about others, don't care about anyone."

Hearing Fei Yin's words, Kira was surprised, then fell silent, and looked away as if to avoid it.

"Still caring about your friends? They don't need your help anymore." Her words reminded Kira of the suspicious and distrustful expressions of everyone in the lounge.

"Everyone's life should be their own responsibility, rather than relying on you to protect them blindly. How long can you protect them now? You are already very tired in less than half a month, but you But again and again you prop yourself up to stand up, you fight alone, until you die in battle, how many people can you protect? The human heart is very small, and only one or two things to protect are enough. The first thing to protect It's yourself, working hard for it, killing people for it. As for the people you failed to protect? No one will blame you, and no one is qualified to judge whether you are selfish."

I have to say that Kira was shaken. Yes, he always wanted to leave this battlefield and didn't want to drive Gundam anymore, but for Sey and the others, he forced himself to fight again and again. These days seemed endless.

After working so hard for so long, in the end, apart from Fei Yin who was still by his side, how many people really trusted him?

"So, stop blaming yourself. Those who died in the war are not Kira's responsibility. Don't suffer for them anymore. You have no obligation to protect from the beginning, right?" Feiyin looked at the shaken Kila. Rah, grinning, so what if she incited Kira's friend after he hurt him?

Everything she stays here is for Kira. For this reason, she has made up her mind to protect him, not for a contract, but to protect him sincerely, and she can do whatever it takes to do so.

However, what surprised her was Kira's friends. His beliefs were betrayed faster than she had imagined, and the biggest variable was the one named Fleur.

That being the case, if Kira doesn't want to go to Zaft, then she can take him away from this war.

As long as Kira is willing, no one can stop her. Even if the military wants to keep Kira by force in the end, she has the ability to take him away.

He must be taken away, otherwise, one person cannot bear the lives of all the people, and that gentle responsibility will eventually overwhelm him.

"Really, isn't it my responsibility? Can I really leave here?" Kira thought of something, grabbed her hand and asked, "Then, what about you, Feiyin?"

"Since I promised to stay with Kira, I will naturally leave with Kira, because I am also tired of this universe full of wars and blood, and I am also tired." Feiyin raised her hands to cover her ears, "Those who cause the battle cannot hear the cries of those who died, but I can hear... I hate this world, what I like most is the moment of peace after the fire, I hope that peace will last forever, and Let me go together, Kira."

Such a cold world will always remind her of the bloody battles in the past. Except for killing or killing, everyone is struggling in the cruel world, but what she pursues is the tranquility of death. For this reason, many people were killed to break her. Serene people.

Listening to Feiyin's words, and seeing her emaciated appearance with her back facing the universe and covering her ears, Kira suddenly felt that Feiyin was in the same pain as him, and that Feiyin was enduring the pain just like him.

Kira stretched out a warm hand to cover the back of her hand covering her ears, only to hear him answer, "Okay, I will take Feiyin out of here. Let's find a peaceful place to live together." Will take Feiyin Stay away from this land of war and smoke.must.As long as I think of living with Fei Yin, it doesn't matter what...

Concubine Yin raised her head in surprise, as if it was reversed?Shouldn't she be the one who took Kira away?

But looking at Kira's tear-free smile, he couldn't help but think, forget it, that's fine.

She took his hand, "We agreed, next time the Archangel has a chance to join the Earth Army, we will disembark, we will leave them alone, stay away from this war, and not participate in the battle."

Seeing her confirmed expression like a child, Kira smiled, "Well, it's done."

He can stop working hard, right?

He doesn't owe anyone, nor Sai Yi and the others, he just wants to obey his own will, and wants to leave this battlefield as soon as possible.Together with Fei Yin, who has always tolerated his weakness.

"before that……"

"Eh?" Kira seemed curious as to what else Feiyin wanted to do.

"Send Lux ​​back to Zaft first, didn't Kira always want to do this?"

Kira didn't hesitate any more about this. Indeed, if he and Feiyin had to disembark next time anyway, he would be very concerned about how Lacus would be treated in the Earth Army.

When Feiyin woke up Lacus, she asked her to come to the military changing room together in a low voice.Kira tried his best to find a space suit from the cabinet. After all, if you want to give Lux to Aslan, you must have this space suit in the universe.

However, when he really took out the heavy white clothes, Kira paused. When facing Julius 7, Feiyin didn't wear a space suit by his side. The spacesuit is similar to the pilot suit, but Feiyin was in his cockpit at the time, facing the vacuum of the universe, she didn't feel any discomfort...Why...?

But thinking about the spirit song, there are always countless secrets in Feiyin, but no matter what is behind those secrets, Kira decided not to care, because as long as she knows that she is Feiyin, it is enough.