First Love[BTS]

For a while I couldn't figure out where I was.Say I'm a fan, but I also genuinely like his teammates; say I'm a group fan, my enthusiasm for Min Qianjie is too skewed.

I am not a very long-term person. The boyfriends around me have changed one after another, and I am still in love every day-life is like this, and star chasing is of course also.I have been chasing after the second generation until now, and I have been staying at the level of watching stage and variety shows. The love is very strong but it can also be very shallow, because I have never been interested in seeing idols in private.

It's not that I'm afraid of disillusionment, it's that I'm really not interested. I'm used to strong stage makeup and then looking at plain makeup will really be boring.

It's not a matter of one or two years to enter the pit of BTS. I followed them as soon as they debuted, because their songs are very good, and they usually look like this on the MV stage.

It can be said that they were not even my boy group before, just an ordinary singer who would appear in my playlist.

I recognize all the members, and I have seen many stages. There are a few songs that can even tell whose part it is. I bought the album with financial support, but I haven’t spent time watching variety shows for them. the point.

The cognitive shift was in 2016.

It's not a stage, it's not a song, it's not even a moment that can be called a famous scene, the kind that few people know about.

It was the Occasion Games in 16, when Min Qianjie had long golden curly hair, I was sitting in the stands.

How should I put it, before this day, I always thought that the coldness on his body was marketing, it was just an adjective that almost every fan would use to describe a certain period of his idol.

But he just sat there, obediently letting SUGA braid him with double braids, and his teammates were also playing around.He himself is even more of a favorite fan, and he very cooperatively asked fans to take pictures.

But the moment I met his gaze, I really felt that he was lonely, and the coldness that no matter how lively the atmosphere could be, made me cry.

Thinking about it now, this period of time happened to be the period when he was bullied by the Internet, and it intensified after the subsequent blood, sweat and tears flew high.

Maybe his original coldness was not as exposed as what I saw that day, it was just the beginning of the depression that was too deeply hurt and could not be concealed.

But I didn't know it at the time.

How ironic to say it, the time I started loving him happened to be when he was the most broken, and after that, every time I saw him in the bloody, sweaty and tearful period again, I couldn't restrain my heartbeat while feeling distressed.To be honest, I hate that what I love the most over the years is still his appearance in the blood, sweat and tears.

My interest in him was the beginning of my sinking.When I realized that I started to cross the line of star chasing, I almost knew what he looked like on the outside—there was no material I hadn’t seen, and the most in my phone was no longer stage photos, but his private photos. Airport map, exit map, Reuters after work, and every selfie he posted on various platforms.I can tell his eating preferences, all kinds of little habits he said or I discovered myself, and my words, deeds and behaviors are becoming more and more like him.

I know it's time for me to stop.Looking at the material too much will really create the illusion that he is very close to me, and now I have put him in a position that is too important but too inappropriate.

I love him so much that even a small situation with him will affect my mood for the day. Even if I dream that he is in love, I will hide under the covers and cry for a long time. The best result in my fantasy is that the person he is in love with is Min Yoongi.

But even thinking that way, I still can't stop feeling sad.

It's me who gets hurt.

Timely stop loss, everyone understands this truth, doesn't it?

I've tried to focus on other things, and I've tried to chase other idols.

Those things are still interesting, the idols are still beautiful and glamorous, everything is the same as it was before I fell in love with Min Qianjie.

I am confident that I have come out, until the big data pushed me a collection of cool idols.

The moment I watched that video, I realized that my life is still my life.Even if the clip I found in that video is not the best in my opinion, it is enough to instantly kill everyone in the same frame as him.

At that moment, I suddenly thought of the cody who was very popular in the rice circle—the cody who had a crush on Min Qianjie.She tweeted how she fell in love with Tende after she changed jobs, saying that she thought she could let it go after she got married after listening to Min Qianjie singing Xuehuabao to her.

But how can Min Qianjie say that he can let it go if he lets it go.She struggled for a long time like me, and finally chose to leave the job in the year when the epidemic began.She said she couldn't look into Min Qianjie's eyes, she said she couldn't hear Min Qianjie's voice, and even the trembling of her eyelashes when she painted her eyeliner would stop her heartbeat.

Me too, just through the screen.

I really really really really really like him, and the idols that I like so much that I have a crush on them will make me feel like him in a certain moment.

My crush on Min Qianjie was a grand secret love that everyone knew about but ended without a cause.

And I am not the only one who is sober and fallen.

I then went to speakyourself's Seoul Finale.

After I fell in love with him, I became more and more busy in reality, so that was the first time I went to his concert.

How should I describe him to you, how should I describe to you every frame of his deity, how should I describe to you his coldness to the point of illusory unreality.When he stared at the camera, it was as if he was staring at me, and my heartbeat slowed down at that moment.

At that time, I thought, if anyone can be watched by him like this for a lifetime, then he will really have no regrets when he dies in the next second.

I cried until I lost my voice on the way back, and even considered whether to take off my fan, because my feelings for him made me so happy and so painful.I really totally understand those who had a crush on Min Chien Kyul during his student days.

Some people are born with light, and it is not uncommon for them to be cherished by many people.

I also fully understand why Han.com said that he is the idol who has been confessed by idols the most. The micro-expressions of those inventory and frame-by-frame cutouts, those micro-expressions that people can't get rid of when they look at him are really too real.

Human poppies, human quagmire.

If you can't ask for it, it's okay if you get stuck.

The author has something to say:

By the time you read this chapter, it is already Qixi Festival. First of all, I wish you all a happy Qixi Festival.

This is a gift for all of you, and it is also my self-report on the road of chasing stars through the mouth of Qianjie.

Before I met BTS, I really never imagined that someone like me would have such deep affection for real people, and my room was slowly filled with their album posters and surroundings.

Before writing this article, I was still a flat bowl of dough, but now I am infinitely partial to sugar.ARMYs all feel the same way, this man Min Yoongi is really poisonous.

God knows I didn't even look at him at first.

There have been times of sadness on the way of chasing stars, but more of them are happy, no matter how sad things are, they will feel much better.

I started writing this Qixi Festival gift yesterday. After thinking about whether to post it for a long time, I finally posted it now.Maybe a year or two later I will look at my current struggle and find it childish and ridiculous, but I still want to record it, because I have never had a crush on someone so passionately and passionately.

When I started the title of the article, I really picked it up casually, but now, Min Yoongi has really become the first love that I can't surpass in my heart.To me, he is like the Ami in the text, who can't ask for it and can't bear it.

Then just sink in, at least we're all getting better, aren't we?

The best, best, best, and best ARMYs in the world, wish us and BTS a happy Tanabata and be happy forever.

The evening of July 2022, 8