forgotten island

Zhang Chengyi suffered from insomnia. He was lying on the bed, but his brain was extremely excited and he didn’t have any desire to sleep. He glanced at his phone, it was already one o’clock in the morning, he hesitated for a moment, finally got up, put on a coat, and drove away cemetery.

In the middle of the autumn night, cold and depressed, there was no one on the way to the cemetery, only the dead branches on both sides stretched out their slender hands, and the moonlight stretched the branches from the roots to the opposite side, and their thin shadows followed the car. As he walked forward, Zhang Chengyi's face passed by one by one, bright and dark shaking, unable to see clearly the emotion between Zhang Chengyi's brows and eyes.

The car stopped under a huge banyan tree. Zhang Chengyi got out of the car and gathered his collar. He stood in the wind for a long time until his face was blown unconscious before he walked in.

The steps extend straight upwards, the lights in the cemetery are warm yellow, and they are spread on the ground in circles. Zhang Chengyi steps on the circles of light and tree shadows, and walks towards a direction he is not familiar with.

Sleeping there is his young heartbeat, his friend, and his debt that cannot be repaid.

Zhang Chengyi sat directly on the ground as usual, his appearance was not very good, but Zhang Chengyi was used to put down the so-called posture in front of Ji Li.

He stretched out his hand and touched his pocket, but found no cigarettes. He looked down and found that the coat he was wearing was new.

Zhang Chengyi simply put his hands in his pockets, and his eyes fell on the photo. The boy in the photo has a handsome face and a particularly good smile. His eyebrows and eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, and the crumbled moonlight is hidden in his eyes.

"Ji Li." Zhang Chengyi's voice was unbelievably gentle, "Sorry, I haven't come to see you for a while."

Naturally, the boy would not answer him, but still smiled.

"I don't know what's going on with me all this time? I feel like I'm not myself anymore."

"I'm so messed up."

"I didn't even think of you." Zhang Chengyi choked up a little, "How could I be such an idiot that I didn't think of you. How could I be like this."

When Zhang Chengyi said this, he suddenly lost the courage to look directly at the photo. He retracted his gaze and looked at a white flower growing in a corner beside the tombstone.

"Actually, I haven't had a good life in the past few years. I feel like a walking dead. I'm sorry. I have been telling you how good I am. I lied. In fact, I know how bad I am. .”

Zhang Chengyi swallowed his throat, and eased his choked voice: "I keep looking for people who are like you, and I try to find your shadow in them, so as to ease my missing of you, and then I really I found someone who is obviously so different in appearance, but I feel your presence. He is really similar to you, as gentle and considerate as you, especially his appearance on stage when we first met , very much like you."

"But later, I don't know why he became more and more different from you. But I...have never broken up with him. I seem to be used to the feeling of someone at home. Every time I go home, I only need to see the light in the window. With a lamp, I will feel very at ease..."

As Zhang Chengyi was talking, he suddenly lost his voice. He froze on the spot in a daze, his face turned pale. He realized later that he couldn't help talking about Nanqing again. It was the kind of conversation that happened naturally without warning he.

Nanqing...

Why is it still Nanqing...

Zhang Chengyi looked at Ji Li with some horror, as if something had suddenly burst out of its shell, something that couldn't be stopped was continuously tilting outward from the heart, so that even just looking at each other for a second made Zhang Chengyi shift guiltily If you lose your sight, it would be a heinous crime to look at the person in the photo again.

Zhang Chengyi's hands and feet felt cold, so he hurriedly tightened his coat, but the cold feeling began to spread from his limbs, and the autumn wind in the middle of the night penetrated into Zhang Chengyi's body everywhere.

He propped himself up slowly and stood up. He never looked at Ji Li again from the beginning to the end. When he went down the steps, he didn't stand firmly and slipped on the ground staggeringly. The new overcoat was caught by the steps. At the edge, a huge opening was pulled, and Zhang Chengyi sat on the ground blankly. It was still the warm yellow street lamp, but at this time, the shadows under his feet were filled with the circles of light, and Zhang Chengyi's whole body was hidden inside. The fluffy light above the head floats with the sudden autumn rain.

Zhang Chengyi lowered his head in despair and pain.

At this moment, in front of Ji Li, he finally figured out all the weird things during this period, maybe even earlier, the direction began to change.

He has to admit that the importance of Nanqing has far surpassed everything else, but he doesn't know when it started, obviously...

That's right... When exactly did it start, when did it betray Ji Li.

Zhang Chengyi tightened the cloth on his chest, as if tightening his heart.

He thought that he would always like Ji Li until he was very old, until he died, and it would not change. He has always believed in this point.

But everything changed just now.

Zhang Chengyi's first thought was that he had betrayed Ji Li, even though Ji Li never showed any affection for him, but he still guarded this love and refused to fall in love secretly, punishing himself.

Yes, self-punishment.

Zhang Chengyi has always used a self-abuse method to like Ji Li.Is there anything more painful in this world than the death of someone you love deeply?

No more.

This is what Zhang Chengyi owes Ji Li.It is the suffering he must endure.

He often thought that if he hadn't gone out that day, Ji Li might not have died, or he should have run faster, he shouldn't have fallen on the way to escape, and he shouldn't have told the owner of the car when he stopped the car. So much nonsense, as long as he is a little faster, even if it is only for 1 minute, Ji Li may be alive.

But now... Zhang Chengyi let go of his hand, leaving an ugly mark on the expensive coat, which was terrifyingly ferocious.

But now, he can't even make up for this debt.

The rain was still falling, obviously not heavy, but it was like a knife, piercing Zhang Chengyi's body with blood dripping from head to toe.

He sat for a long time before he dragged his two legs and sat in the car.

He knew that his state was really not suitable for driving in the rain, so he just lowered the window a little, leaned back in the chair, and planned to make it through the night.He was too tired, both physically and mentally.

It took all of Zhang Chengyi's strength to figure it out.

Said it was about to be done, but Zhang Chengyi unexpectedly fell asleep.

He dreamed of Ji Li.

Ji Li in Zhang Chengyi's dream always looks like a teenager, he is wearing a white shirt in his courtyard, carving things, the shirt is stained with sawdust, his brows are drooping, no expression can be seen.

"Ji Li." Zhang Chengyi has grown into a man's appearance, the two are obviously in the same frame, but they seem out of place.

Ji Li stopped holding the knife, raised his head and looked over with soft eyes: "Why are you here?"

Zhang Chengyi's eyes were sour, but he couldn't answer.

It wasn't until Ji Li finished carving the thing in his hand that he spoke again: "Zhang Chengyi, are you here to say goodbye to me?"

The sourness in Zhang Chengyi's eyes became more obvious, he shook his head.

Ji Li smiled: "But I want to go." He said.

"Cheng Yi, you imprisoned yourself in one place, and you don't want to wake up. Someone has already woken you up, hasn't it?"

Zhang Chengyi clenched his hands tightly.

"If I knew that the price of your survival was like this, I would be better off living. The living should not be trapped in the past, and the dead should not be chains. I don't want to be that sinner."

"Cheng Yi." Ji Li handed over the thing he was holding, "You have to live for yourself. I want to leave, but only if you are willing to let me go."

Zhang Chengyi's eyes fell on his hand, it was a jasmine.

"Chengyi, don't turn Nanqing into a second shackle to trap you."

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Nanmuzi fish:

Give Zhang Chengyi some time to see himself clearly, he can't wake up immediately, it's too fake for a scumbag to wake up too quickly.There will be chasing wives, don't worry.