your name

The dinner ended at one o'clock in the afternoon, and several groups of people who were going in different directions said their goodbyes. Zuo Zhengyi was caught in the crowd and didn't want to talk, especially Ji Jue's parents.

His face was heavy, his mouth seemed to be sewn shut, and his eyes were too tired to turn around, staring straight at the ground, as if looking at someone else could kill him.

All in all, ignore people.

He returned to the box just now, and Ji Jue didn't come back until 5 minutes later.He didn't know if Ji Jue had said anything to Xie Lan, he didn't ask, he just glanced at Ji Jue from the corner of his eye when he entered the door, Ji Jue took his seat and shook his hand, but he also shook his hand away.

There are so many people at the dinner table that it is hard to talk.Ji Jue didn't say anything, just silently served him food.Zuo Zhengyi's already poor appetite was snatched away by Ji Jue, and he couldn't take a bite, and was so upset that he couldn't express it in words.

His upset didn't get any better after returning to base.

The training match in the afternoon was at three o'clock, and they arrived at the base in less than two o'clock.Zuo Zhengyi went back to his room, closed the door, and just lay down on the bed when he heard a knock on the door.

"Brother." Ji Jue called him from outside the door, "Let's talk."

"Don't talk about it!" Zuo Zhengyi picked up a pillow and slammed it at the door, making a dull and soft sound, which was harmless.

But it was a lie to say that he didn't want to talk about it, and he finally let Ji Jue in.

The door opened and closed, Ji Jue locked it behind his back, picked up the pillow on the floor, dusted it, and put it back in place.

Zuo Zhengyi, like a pillow, lay back on the bed again.

He left the back of his head to Ji Jue, his tight shoulders and back were thin and thin, a narrow waist was hidden under the T-shirt of the team uniform, and two inches were exposed from the hem of the clothes, his skin was so white and glowing.

Ji Jue's eyes fell on him, but he didn't hug or ask for a kiss as usual, he just stood by the bed and looked at him quietly.

Perhaps it was because the gaze was too scorching, Zuo Zhengyi felt uncomfortable being stared at, couldn't help turning his head, but was slightly taken aback when he saw Ji Jue's expression.

Ji Jue seemed hurt.

But it was different from his previous expression when he pretended to be pitiful. His facial features stayed in place intact, his nose bridge was straight and heavy, his lips were tightly pressed without bending an arc, his eyeballs remained motionless as if they were rusted, and his brows did not frown. , is a standard "panic face".

Even the standing posture is very casual, with one hand in the pocket and the other hand unconsciously turning the phone.

But his sadness still radiated out, almost filling the whole room.

"Don't you want to talk? Why don't you talk?" Zuo Zhengyi picked up the pillow and threw it on him.

Ji Jue caught it and let it go, looked down at Zuo Zhengyi, and said after a long time, "Are you still angry?"

"What do you think?" Zuo Zhengyi sat up, his legs hung down along the side of the bed, and he looked up at Ji Jue, "Speak quickly if you have something to say, and leave if you have nothing to say. I want to take a nap."

"..."

Ji Jue's face turned pale from his impatient tone, his lips were pursed even tighter, and his voice was slightly hoarse: "Did I do something wrong?"

Zuo Zhengyi said, "It's you."

"……What did i do wrong?"

"I said you were wrong, you were wrong."

Zuo Zhengyi glared at Ji Jue ferociously, but his eyes were red with grievance, and he tried not to let himself cry.

Maybe it's because he's been good at holding back crying recently, and he really hasn't shed any tears.But if he endured too much, his expression became even more fierce, and almost all the boredom of the first 20 years of his life was integrated into this one glance, and all of it was given to Ji Jue.

They had never quarreled like this.

Although these few naive questions and answers are not considered a quarrel.

Zuo Zhengyi stared at Ji Jue ruthlessly, even more ruthlessly than when he lost his temper in the hotel corridor just now.

What he said was angry at that time, but now he is angry, and the more he thinks about it, the more angry he becomes, there is no cure.

Ji Jue lowered his head: "What my mother said... I'm sorry. I didn't know she would come to you to say that. I just talked to her. I promise, she will never bother you again. Don't be angry OK?"

Ji Jue was very good at coaxing Zuo Zhengyi, this apology was low-key enough, and it hit the point straight, without avoiding it.

But after he finished speaking, Zuo Zhengyi's complexion didn't improve at all, and he asked him instead, "What do you mean? Does your mother not want to hug her grandson?"

Ji Jue paused: "She can think as much as she likes, as she pleases, I can't live anyway."

Zuo Zhengyi said: "But she is your own mother. As long as she still wants to, she can't let us go. Even if she doesn't trouble me in person, she won't like me."

"..."

After hearing this, Ji Jue was silent for two seconds: "Brother, today is my fault. But I really won't do it in the future. I won't let you be wronged by my parents. Trust me, okay?"

"Not good." Zuo Zhengyi picked up the pillow for the third time and threw it on Ji Jue, "You don't even know what's wrong with you, you're just perfunctory me, go away, I don't like you anymore - go away ah."

Zuo Zhengyi pushed Ji Jue out of the door, and when he went to grab the doorknob, Ji Jue pinched his wrist.

Ji Jue pinched him hard, almost breaking his bones, and asked in a deep voice, "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, you go."

"...Are you going to break up with me?"

"You say yes, break up, you go, I don't want to see you again."

Zuo Zhengyi's tears, which he had endured for a long time, finally flowed out, but he had a heartless face, resentful, and wanted Ji Jue to go away.

Ji Jue couldn't figure out what heinous crime he had committed. Although Zuo Zhengyi was usually bad-tempered, he wasn't so bad-tempered. He refused to give him the chance to coax him.

"What's the matter with me?" Ji Jue put his arms around Zuo Zhengyi's waist, turned and pressed him against the door, with a bitter expression on his face.

Zuo Zhengyi turned away his face and remained silent.

Ji Jue grabbed his chin and turned him around: "Speak."

Zuo Zhengyi stared, and the water flowed down his reddish face like a gate: "I hate you!"

"..."

Ji Jue choked.

Zuo Zhengyi said: "It's your fault that you hate her more than your mother. It's your fault—it's all your fault."

"Okay, my fault." Ji Jue accepted all the orders, he couldn't tell whether he was in a hurry or because his heart was pierced into a honeycomb and the pain leaked, so that he forgot to be gentle, and his hands were extraordinarily strong, and he hugged Zuo Zhengyi horizontally When he strangled the latter, his ribs hurt.

Zuo Zhengyi scolded even more fiercely: "What are you doing? I've already dumped you! You're not my boyfriend! Get lost!"

"You can just dump it if you say so?" Ji Jue pushed Zuo Zhengyi onto the bed, gritted his teeth, and said, "I don't agree."

He bit Zuo Zhengyi's neck.

If he bites too hard, it will definitely leave marks. Zuo Zhengyi thought about the training match later, so he got even more angry and punched and kicked him.But he couldn't push it at all, Ji Jue may have practiced it, and he had a bit of a grasping method, pinning him down and not allowing him to move, biting his neck enough and then biting his ear.

Zuo Zhengyi was so angry that his head was smoking, and his tears couldn't stop flowing.

In fact, he himself couldn't tell exactly what he was angry with—Xie Lan didn't seem to be the whole reason.

But other than that, he didn't have a clear logic in his mind, but his emotions were out of control. Landslides and tsunami flooded him and buried him. He was wronged and lonely, and he didn't know who to tell.

It should be Xiang Ji Jue—and it can only be Ji Jue.

"I hate you." Zuo Zhengyi cried and trembled under Ji Jue, "You, you are not at all..." He couldn't say anything, and said incoherently, "I miss grandma, only grandma treats me well... ...But she didn't come to pick me up, and I didn't see her for the last time. She didn't want me either."

"What about me?" Ji Jue lay on top of him, his head ached from his crying, and his heart, liver and lungs ached.

—— Zuo Zhengyi hasn't cried like this for a long time.

Although he doesn't like to be unreasonable when he is messy and coquettish, every time he cries there is a reason.Why is he so sad?

"Am I not good to you?" Ji Jue bowed his head and kissed him, wiping his tears with his lips, "I love you, I am willing to give you everything, and put you first in my life. Am I not good to you?" ? Zuo Zhengyi?"

"..."

Zuo Zhengyi raised his eyelashes wet with tears, and his eyes met Shang Jijue's.

"You are not mine," he said inexplicably. "You have your home, and someone will plan your future for you when you grow up. But I don't."

Ji Jue was stunned.

Zuo Zhengyi suddenly straightened out his logic. He understood, and he was even more sad: "You are my only family, and I only like you. But you have another family, your uncle is yours, and your parents are yours." What's yours is yours, and I have nothing."

"You are the same as them." Zuo Zhengyi said, "You are all homeless people, but I am the only one in the world."

"..."

"Your mother still wants to drive me away. I'm an outsider, Ji Jue."

Zuo Zhengyi stopped crying.

He reached for the box of tissues on the bedside table, pulled one out, and wiped his face dry.

"I'm sorry, I lost my composure." He whispered, "I know it's not your fault. It's not your fault, but my own bad luck. I shouldn't take it out on you just because you like me. "

He smiled at Ji Jue, his smile was bleak: "I won't break up with you because of such an inexplicable thing, sorry, just pretend I didn't say it."

In the final tone, he even became polite, and Zuo Zhengyi took out another tissue and wiped his face indiscriminately.

His face was dry and his eyes were dry, but suddenly a tear fell from above and hit the bridge of his nose.

"...You might as well kill me." Ji Jue's eyes were red, his teeth were chattering, and silent tears fell on Zuo Zhengyi's face one by one.

"They are the outsiders, and I belong to you." Ji Jue almost lost control, lowered his head and kissed him tremblingly, "Don't say such things again, don't be so alienated from me, I am yours, brother. I love you, I have loved you since childhood Love you...will never leave you."

Zuo Zhengyi only looked at him, his face was pitifully pale as if he had experienced frost and snow.

Ji Jue grabbed his hand violently, stroked the flesh of his wrist as if trying to grasp his pulse, and slid down, clasping his fingers tightly, his heartbeat overlapping.

"I am your family, Zhengyi, I am your family." Ji Jue said.

"really?"

"real."

"..."

Zuo Zhengyi exhaled lightly, as if a strand of floating soul found a place to rest again.He hugged Ji Jue back, and said extremely rarely but seriously: "I love you too."