dumb boy

Shen Xia stared blankly at his hand.

The man's originally strong and powerful arms were now skinny and skinny, the pale and cold backs of his hands were swollen due to the long-term infusion, and terrible bulges protruded from the thin skin.

Qin Yanqian followed the boy's astonished gaze to see his ugly arm, and dodged slightly, but his body was weak, and now he couldn't even shake off Shen Xia's hand.

Qin Yanqian had no choice but to say it again: "Open the box."

Shen Xia was shocked, he didn't understand why Qin Yanqian became like this.

It's just a broken bone. When he was broken, he still wanted to run outside every day, but why did the man look so... so lifeless, just like his grandfather was sick and bedridden.

The box was only the size of a palm, beautifully packaged, and heavy in his hands.

Shen Xia let go of Qin Yanqian's hand and slowly opened the box.

On the fine navy blue flannelette, lay a small and beautiful purple sand cup quietly.

It was the teacup of his grandfather that he broke.

Qin Yanqian still found the real thing for him.

Shen Xia tremblingly took out the purple clay teacup from the box, tears welling up from her red eyes: "Grandpa..."

After he came to his senses, he deliberately ignored it.

Grandpa, his only relative, the one who loved him the most in the world, disappeared forever.

He didn't even see his grandpa for the last time.

Qin Yanqian looked at the boy who was clutching his teacup sobbing, and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry..."

In fact, since the fire incident, the boy's behavior has been abnormal, but he didn't care about it at that time, he was only excited that Shen Xia no longer wanted to have an abortion.

When their mother told them about Shen Xia crying and shouting for the wedding ring when they confronted Liu Xiuxuan, Qin Yanqian guessed that he should have recovered his memory.

Otherwise, what could be the explanation?

He nearly killed Shen Xia, but he easily got the boy's forgiveness.

Xia Xia, Xia Xia who likes him the most is back.

Qin Yanqian was not happy at all.

He seems to be forever regretting.When Shen Xia was a little fool, he regretted getting engaged to him. When Shen Xia forgot about him, he regretted that he didn't cherish the little dumb who was devoted to him wholeheartedly. And when the boy regained his memory, he began to regret it again. Remember those sad things.

In fact, he has done too many mistakes in the past, so many that he has no way to repay.

During this period of time, thoughts of suicide would always pop up in his mind. He thought that if he died, would he be able to make Shen Xia happier? His mother wouldn't have to work so hard to watch over him every day, and his father wouldn't have to take care of him when he was too old. He went to the company to deal with business.

He wasn't a good son, he wasn't a good husband, and he wasn't even a normal person now, making everyone sad.

Wouldn't it be easier for them if he died?

He tried many times, but every time he failed at the last moment. After being rescued, his mother would only hug him and cry even more miserably. Even his father, who had never shown a weak state in front of him, had red eyes and bloodshot eyes. pain.

He felt like a coward, but doctors said it was a survival instinct left in people with depression.He's sick, and it's normal to have these thoughts, and they'll go away when his head injury heals.

Qin Yanqian didn't know whether to believe the doctor's words, but he didn't want to make his parents so sad.

If you can't sleep, you have to close your eyes, if you can't eat, you swallow it hard, and wait until you go to the toilet before spitting it out. Even if you don't want to talk anymore, you have to try your best to respond when others ask.

But many times he can't do it. It is more difficult to say a word to others than to let him poke a spoon straight into his throat and pour it into porridge.

Just like seeing Shen Xia crying so sadly in front of him now, but he couldn't even say a word of comfort.

He became more and more anxious and self-loathing amid the boy's crying, but the medicine he took made him look like he had no emotional ups and downs, and his thoughts and appearance were in a state of extreme split pain.

Shen Xia cried for a while, during which the man was sitting on the hospital bed like a puppet, watching him quietly.

Shen Xia wiped away tears by herself, choked up and asked, "Grandpa...where is he buried?"

Qin Yanqian gave him a piece of paper with the address of the cemetery where Mr. Shen was sleeping.

He was afraid that he would forget, so he wrote it down in the memo.

Shen Xia took the paper, folded it carefully and put it in a small box together with the teacup, said hoarsely: "Thank you."

He stood up and rang the bell for Qin Yanqian to call the nurse, and said, "Take a good rest, your body is yours, don't do anything that hurts you anymore, it's very childish."

Qin Yanqian looked at him and hummed lightly.

Shen Xia left the ward.

Qiao Yang, who was waiting downstairs, had already called him several times. When he saw the boy approaching with red eyes, he quickly asked, "What's wrong, Qin Yanqian bullied you again?"

"No."

Shen Xia didn't know how to describe his feelings, he held the small box containing the teacup and the address of his grandfather's grave, tears welled up from his eyes in an instant, his heart was full of grief.

He said to Qiao Yang in a hoarse voice: "Yangyang, let's not go back tonight. I want to see grandpa tomorrow."

----

Du Xiangyun came back with dinner, saw only Qin Yanqian and the nurse in the ward, and asked, "Son, where is your friend?"

Qin Yanqian was sitting in a wheelchair looking out the window. He clearly heard what his mother said, but he couldn't respond in time. After a few seconds, he replied slowly: "Let's go."

"Oh." Du Xiangyun felt a little regretful.

His son hardly had any friends, and that young man seemed quite lively, so it would be good to stay and chat with Qin Yanqian for a while.

"Come here for dinner." Du Xiangyun asked the nurse to push Qin Yanqian over, "How do you feel today? Does your head still hurt?"

"……Um."

"Well, the doctor said that your mental complications are serious, and you need to rest for at least half a year." Du Xiangyun put the porridge he bought on the table, "You don't have to worry too much about work, Dad will help you take care of it."

"Ah."

"Drink some, you didn't like the preserved egg and lean pork porridge the most before."

"Ah."

Qin Yanqian picked up the spoon with a pale face, and mechanically raised his arms to deliver the porridge to his mouth.

The porridge he just bought was warm and smooth, but to him it was like cold and sharp glass shards. Every bite he swallowed was extremely difficult and painful. The man's fragile stomach couldn't help convulsing under this stimulation, Covering your mouth with your hands, trying not to spit it out immediately.

Du Xiangyun watched him drink the porridge slowly, his eyes gradually became moist, and felt that his son's condition had finally improved.

The woman is also worried about her son these days.Qin Yanqian suffered from an eating disorder. He felt like vomiting when he smelled food, and he relied on infusions to maintain his body's nutritional needs. When asked what he wanted to eat, the man never answered.He and Qin Chengan could only try their best to recall what their son liked to eat before, and then bought them back one by one, hoping that his son would eat a little bit.

Qin Yanqian took four or five sips with great effort, cold sweat broke out on his forehead, suddenly he knocked over the porridge with a shaking hand, and vomited violently on the ground.

Du Xiangyun was frightened, and quickly supported his son: "What's wrong?"

Qin Yanqian's tears fell down big and big, and he cried and said, "I can't drink it..."

This was bought by his mother specially for him. He should drink it up, but why can't he do it? Why does his mother disappoint and worry even the simplest meal.

Qin Yanqian's face was pale, his body trembled with fear, and he cried bitterly as if he had made a huge mistake, and kept apologizing: "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

Du Xiangyun also shed tears, hugged his son's thin shoulders, and cried: "If you can't drink it, don't drink it, it's okay, it's okay..."

Even though I have warned myself countless times, my emotions will suddenly get out of control and collapse, and I will cry like a lunatic in pain, and when I wake up, I will regret it and fall into a new round of self-loathing.

Qin Yanqian, who had calmed down after taking the medicine, became like a lifeless corpse again, sitting motionless on the hospital bed, staring blankly at the wall and the dark TV in front of him.

Du Xiangyun asked someone to clean up, sat beside him, massaged his swollen back of his hand, and asked very softly, "Did Xia Xia come to see you today?"

She just heard from the nurse that a boy came to visit Qin Yanqian, and then left quickly.

Qin Yanqian had a little reaction: "Yes."

"What did Xia Xia tell you?"

"..."

Qin Yanqian couldn't remember the conversation between him and Shen Xia.

He only vaguely remembered that the boy seemed to cry again, did he make him cry again?

Du Xiangyun saw that he was silent again, and sighed.

She didn't dare to provoke her son any more, and comforted her son, "It's okay, if you don't want to talk about it, don't talk about it."

Qin Yanqian didn't want to talk, he just couldn't recall, so he pursed his lips.

Du Xiangyun played a comedy movie for him. He felt it was noisy, so he forced himself to watch it for 10 minutes, then lay down on the bed and stopped watching it. Du Xiangyun turned off the light so that he could fall asleep.

Qin Yanqian closed his eyes, but his mind was still thinking about what he had said to Shen Xia.

He thought hard for a long time, and suddenly opened his eyes in the early morning, and slowly sat up on the bed.

Du Xiangyun, who was sleeping next to him to accompany the bed, was awakened by his movement, quickly turned on the light, and asked, "What's wrong?"

When the man heard his mother's question, he obediently replied, "I want to go somewhere."

Seeing that he was even trying to get out of bed, Du Xiangyun hurried over to support him and asked, "Where do you want to go, the bathroom?"

Relying on his mother's support, Qin Yanqian moved onto the wheelchair with a dazed expression, and after thinking for a while dullly, he remembered the place he was still thinking about silently a few seconds ago.

"Anshan Cemetery."

After Qin Yanqian said it, he felt something was wrong. After reading the memo he secretly hid under his pillow, he confirmed, "It's Anshan Cemetery."

He gave Shen Xia the address where Grandpa Shen Xia was buried, and the boy will definitely go there today.

He wants to see him again.

Boys will cry, he wants to comfort him.

Sometimes death is not necessarily pain for patients, but relief.