Favor

He asked me many times whether those years were good or not.My answer every time is really not bad.I tell everyone that I'm doing fine.He told so many lies that he even lied to himself.

For as long as I can remember, my family has been arguing.I have a less visible scar on my back from a very young age.Qi Meiling said that it was Yao Zhenhai who quarreled with her and vented his anger on me and got hurt.But Yao Zhenhai said exactly the opposite, saying that it was Qi Meiling who did it.

I don't really care about that, she and him, who made it happen, I don't care.

I also discovered from a very young age that everyone can have super high acting skills.

The two people who were clearly arguing at home wished they could kill each other, but when they went outside to face other people, they looked so loving.To this day, I still remember that once I accidentally exposed them and told my third uncle that they had a quarrel at home.

As a result, when I got home that night, Qi Meiling pointed at my nose and cursed, poked my forehead with her finger, and drove me to a corner.From that day on, I realized that some truths should not be known to others.

And this concept has been with me for more than twenty years.

Not only this, but what Qi Meiling and Yao Zhenhai passed on to me, taught me by precept and deed, there are more hypocrisy and vileness.

I grew up with Ni Xingqiao, he is innocent and simple, he believes everything he sees, and it is always easy to deceive him.

Therefore, he never knew that I, who was usually sensible and caring, was actually a selfish and vicious villain.

I'm just as bad as the man who raised me.When I was a teenager, I just understood what feelings and desires are, and I had the idea of ​​possessing Ni Xingqiao.

He has bright eyes and bright teeth, like young shoots of vitality after the rain.

I can't allow this kind of him to be touched by others, so I want to pick it back to my garden by any means.

I knew all too well what the consequences were, but I did it anyway.Because in my concept, there is no eternal love.Even, no one will really love me.

Because the one sentence I heard the most since I was a child is that you are a villain, and you will not regret your death.

I don't regret my death, so no one will love me.

But I have developed love for a beautiful person, and in order to keep him, I can only use some means.It's true to be nice to him.Loving him and loving him is true.But it was also true that it was cruel to him.

Looking back later, I realized that from the beginning I was no different from Qi Meiling and Yao Zhenhai.

I pretended to be a lover, but all I did was harm.During those years, I only cared about whether I could have him, but never thought about what to do with his life.

After waking up, I asked myself countless times, can this fucking really be called love?

Maybe it's because I've never seen "love", after all, I crawled and survived in an environment full of hatred.Therefore, in my world, all emotions are distorted.For a long time, I thought families all over the world were like this

- There are constant quarrels, and there will be big fights if there is a disagreement.

I thought all fathers would bring other women home and make disgusting noises regardless of whether their son was doing his homework or not.I thought all mothers would get hysterical over a little thing, because their child didn't get full marks in a test and wanted to strangle him to death.This is the home I live in.

Of course, there was also a short period of peaceful life, but in those days, Yao Zhenhai seldom went home.

When I was in elementary school, in those few years, they didn't meet much, and they didn't quarrel so much.

Qi Meiling told me that I have to live up to expectations. She said that Yao Zhenhai worked hard outside to make money for our mother and son. As a son, I have to make him proud.But I saw him bring another woman into the hotel the day before.But I didn't tell Qi Meiling, because if I did, I would be beaten severely.At that time, I felt that Qi Meiling was very pitiful, she was deceived so badly.

But then I realized that maybe she also knew about these things, but just wanted to maintain a superficial harmony.Just kidding yourself.

So, she began to become pathetic again in my eyes.

In those years, our lives were switched back and forth between pitiful and pathetic. We used our superb acting skills to play a false life outside, and when we returned home, we took off our stage costumes and showed our green faces and fangs.

I tried my best not to make any noise at home, and I was careful when I turned the pages of the book.I feel that it is hard to bear, so I think of Ni Xingqiao.

He is like a white, lively little rabbit, just thinking about him makes my blood still flow.my little bunny.my prey.

I knew since I was a teenager that he was going to be mine.