The lover that gravity makes is wrong

There is a saying in hell that only resentment attracts resentment.

Don't look at everyone's laughing and joking looks, in fact, most of the native hell residents, whether it's ghosts and gods assistant officer Guideng, the third son, or the animal jailers and Miss Mustard in [Unhappy Place], actually have hatred in their hearts. .

The only difference is that, compared to the universal sense of hatred and curses, their 'hate' appears to be...

Even more boring and strange.

To use the words of the white-haired ghost jailer Eggplant, it is "not so much negative resentment, it is better to say it is active resentment." '(①)

The most representative one is that the group of villagers who sacrificed the ghost lamp at the beginning are still tied to the gatepost of the palace where the former Queen of Underworld, Izanami, was burned by the fire of hell every day, serving as an ornamental exhibit.

However, it is precisely because of the existence of all kinds of sorrows and hatreds that the place of judgment under the underworld is called 'hell'.

Therefore, when Osamu Dazai said "Do you want me to write his name?", the red-haired ghost girl knew that Osamu Dazai was serious.

At least at this moment, he is cursing and resenting someone from the bottom of his heart, hoping that he will disappear.

The third son looked into Dazai Osamu's eyes.

The young man clearly curled up his lips with a smile, looking like a handsome family member, but those iris-colored pupils were like a barren swamp without life.

"There are no special ritual requirements, just use the method you like." The red-haired girl said.

"Yeah! I've wanted to try this feeling for a long time!"

The delicate and handsome boy raised his hands like a child and let out a cheer.

Turning around, he took out the spare notepad and fountain pen from Kunikida Doppo's pocket, and opened the pen cap with great interest.

"Hey, Dazai!"

Kunikida Doppo sounded a warning.

But when he saw clearly the name written on the page, the disapproval on the ginger-haired boy's face froze hilariously.

He stared at the name on the paper and closed his eyes forcefully, then opened them, and as if he couldn't believe it, he looked up at his partner's profile.

Because, in the center of that page, the name written was none other than——

【Osamu Dazai】

Himself, himself.

"Dazai, you..."

Kunikida Doppo frowned, his expression became extremely complicated.

It was precisely because he watched the whole process from the sidelines that he clearly knew that Osamu Dazai was not joking.

If one day, someone could write down a certain person's name and make him disappear like a bubble in this world, Osamu Dazai would not hesitate to write down his name on the death list.

As it is now.

But how can a person, a person who instinctively yearns for 'alive'...?

It is difficult for Kunikida Doppo to describe his current mood.

He knew what he should say at this moment.

Whether it is out of friendship as a colleague or humanitarian concern, he should say something.

But for some reason, when he saw the hopeful smile on the corner of the kite-eyed boy's mouth, and the kite-colored pupils shimmering with anticipation, he could only weakly open his mouth, and then quietly closed it.

It is estimated that for a long time to come, Dazai Osamu will be labeled as "need to be treated with care" in the heart of the good man Kunikida Doppo.

On the contrary, the third son, as if he had expected it, calmly glanced at the name on the paper, without any surprised reaction.

"Miss Sanzi, can you grant my wish?"

Osamu Dazai looked at his third son gently, with an imperceptible pleading in his soft voice.

Kunikida turned his head abruptly, staring nervously at the red-haired girl and temporary partner.

Just short of writing 'Stop it, stop him! 'A few large characters.

The red-haired ghost girl didn't answer, but touched her chin and said pointedly,

"Don't worry, this alone is enough to call her."

"Ours, hell girl."

【--jingle】

The third son's words were like a silent starting gun. The moment her words fell, an ethereal bell rang in the ears of the three of them.

But it was just a short breath, when they raised their eyes again, they found that the surrounding scene had undergone earth-shaking changes.

The lively and bright ramen houses and the joking diners have all disappeared.

Only their table appeared alone by the strange river.

The setting sun in the sky is like blood, illuminating the whole world, as if it has been dyed the color of blood.

——"Call me?"

A cold and emotionless voice sounded behind them.

Kunikida took a breath and turned his head suddenly.

A young girl with long black hair who looked about 14 years old was looking at them with a pair of blood-colored red pupils expressionlessly.

She was wearing a black sailor suit that was not common in modern times, and a bracelet with a Buddha bell was worn on her cold white wrist. The bells rang in the setting sun, and the bells rang from time to time.

"you……"

Before Kunikida Doppo could speak, an urgent voice sounded one step ahead of him.

"Little Love!"

The red-haired ghost girl suddenly stood up from the chair, looking quite surprised.

She took a step to get closer to the girl, but Yan Moai, who was expressionless and emotionless, took two steps back in a panic as if she had seen a ghost, and threw the three of them away without thinking. Out of a special enchantment.

"Wait... little love!"

The third son wanted to stop him, but as soon as he stretched out his hand, he was thrown out.

The strange setting sun disappeared, and they returned to the ramen house.

There was loud conversation and laughter, and the smell of hot food wafted in the air. The uncle boss behind the bar was still skillfully ironing noodles, and occasionally raised his head to greet regular customers.

As usual, no one noticed, they disappeared briefly for a while.

It's like the strange scene I saw not long ago, but it was just an illusion.

——If there is no this strange leaflet on the table, and the scarecrow tied with a red string.

"This is?"

Kunikida Doppo picked up the flyer curiously.

At the same time, a loud quarrel broke out between Osamu Dazai and the third son.

"Miss Sanzi! Did you agree to let the haters disappear?!"

As Osamu Dazai said, he slapped the table angrily, like a black cat that was suddenly robbed of a can of crab meat,

"You are breaking your promise! Fraud! I want to sue you!"

The ghost girl who had just been thrown out of the enchantment mercilessly by her former friend, put away her disappointed expression and bared her teeth unceremoniously upon hearing this.

Like a puppy fighting against a villain, he puffed up his cheeks and retorted,

"Porf! Boy Dazai, it must be that your own operation is too strange to scare away Xiao Ai. We in hell will not accept such unreasonable complaints!"

"My fault?" Osamu Dazai widened his eyes, "Recall the scene and actions just now, and whose fault is it again?"

A certain ghost girl was quiet for a second, then suddenly looked up at the ceiling, whistled falsely,

"Hey...the neon language is so difficult to understand, I can't understand it at all~"

Kunikida Doppo twitched the corner of his mouth: "...you two, are you over ten years old together?"

"Of course! Kunikida boy, I'm already five hundred years old!"

Kunikida Doppo's indifferent face: Oh, I think he is five years old, and the other one is at most three years old.

The ginger-haired boy stared blankly, silently watching the two five-year-olds and three-year-olds pointing at each other and scolding each other.

However, after he tried to stop him but failed miserably, Kunikida Doppo remained silent for three seconds, and decisively decided to ignore the two naive ghosts and solve the most important problem at hand first.

In Kunikida Doppo's hands is the "leaflet" specially left by Yan Moai. The black background, with the seemingly absent flowers of the other side and afterimages of the ghosts of the underworld, looks very similar at first glance.

but……

The ginger-haired boy stared at the flyer for a while, feeling an indescribable sense of disobedience in his heart.

When he saw clearly the words on the flyer, Kunikida Doppo instantly understood what was going on with his strange sense of familiarity and discord.

The content on the black list is not complicated, strictly speaking, there is only one short sentence——

【Want revenge?Want revenge?Are you still thinking hard day and night about not being able to kill your enemy with your own hands, tossing and turning?Then go to hell and join us, be the first to become a pawn, the dark, dark future of revenge is at your feet! 】

At the end, there is also a list of the demeanor exhibitions and success stories of the senior ghost soldiers below.

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

He seemed to hear the sound of the filter on his eyes breaking.

No wonder he felt it violated!

Isn't this a small brochure leaflet selling insurance in the mall next door!Even the words are almost the same!

It is agreed that the resentful person will disappear forever!

At this moment, Kunikida Doppo and a certain Osamu Dazai who claimed to have been deceived in their relationship reached an astonishing consensus for the first time.

"...Miss Sanzi."

Kunikida Doppo looked at the red-haired girl with twitching corners of his mouth, "Does this seem to be different from the rumors?"

"Ok?"

The red-haired girl who was busy fighting with Osamu Dazai turned her head, glanced at the leaflet in Doppo Kunikida's hand and her disillusioned expression, and understood.

"Of course it's different."

The third son blinked his eyes and said as a matter of course,

"Kunikida boy, times have changed, even hell must keep pace with the times."

"What's more, hatred itself is a double-edged sword. Since you want revenge, you must have the consciousness to throw yourself into hell first! Just write a name and you can send the other party into hell. It's not a comic book, so it's not so cost-effective. Oh!"

"Young Kunikida, even in hell, must pay attention to the basic law!"

The red-haired ghost girl raised her index finger and said seriously.

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

"Oh, so, your so-called revenge is to directly trick people into becoming employees, and then make big cakes for them to work hard, waiting for the enemy to go to hell, and torture them one day."

Osamu Dazai, who summed up faintly, clapped expressionlessly, and made a great sound,

"Wow, that's great, it's really exciting."

Kunikida Doppo's pupils trembled: "...This sounds like an 'empty glove white wolf', right?! This is a fraudulent transaction, Miss Sanzi!"

A certain red-haired ghost girl from hell was unmoved, and even suggested intimately with a bright smile,

"Oh, about this, Kunikida boy, you can go to the throne of Enma and complain—after you die."

But at that time, you are already an enslaved dead!

The dead have no ghost power in hell!

—unless you become a jailer.

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

Good guy, this is a logical closed loop.

Question: Who came up with such an ingenious and flawless plan?

Answer: The first assistant official under the throne of Yan Mo.

****

In fact, at the beginning, [Hell Communication] was indeed an operating mechanism similar to the rumors——

[At midnight, the villagers with hatred will see a glowing mysterious torii on the top of the mountain. At this time, they only need to pass through the torii and cast the name of the person who hates it in the shrine.

The messenger from the underworld will appear and exile people to hell at zero o'clock the next day. 】

This is the proud work of the first assistant officer of hell, Izana Beauty.

The original intention is to use this method to cut off the resentful souls that linger in this world after the murder and revenge from the source, and bring them back to hell in advance when they are still human beings, so as to reduce the workload.

In other words, it is a preventive mechanism.

However, this mechanism was abolished after King Yan Mo became the manager of hell, and Ghost Lamp also returned from studying in the flower planter's hell and became the second assistant officer.

In the words of a ghost assistant officer, it is——

"It's too wasteful! Spending precious manpower on this kind of evil taste that has no other reference significance other than interfering with the laws of the world, let alone reducing the workload, doesn't this completely increase the difficulty of the trial in disguise?"

"What about the sentencing standards for these exiles? After [Hell Communication] is abused by humans, how should we deal with the sudden increase in innocent deaths?"

At that time, [Hell Communication] was also one of the ghost lamp's denunciations when persuading the Queen of the Underworld and Izanami to resign from the post of assistant officer.

"Izanami, you once built the foundation of neon together with Izanaki, you are a great person, but look at your face now, isn't it just an old woman who can do whatever she wants because she is a god? !"

Ghost Lantern patted the [Hell Communication] file in his hand, every time he asked a question, the figure of the Queen of Huangquan became shorter.

In the end, the wayward Queen of Huangquan simply flipped the table and directly opened her mouth to extort a large sum of pension.

After being sternly rejected, he found fault with Ghost Lamp for a while.

He often emerges from various corners with black air behind him, stares at the ghost lamp full of resentment, and whispers,

"Anyway, no matter where the concubine goes, she is a bad person who is excluded..." (①)

However, Izanami herself is not a stupid person. After gradually accepting the reality, she retired.

And [Hell Communication] was also slashed by the ghost lamp, directly changing from a "revenge method that falls from the sky" to a "talent cultivation center for future employees".

And the original hell girl has also become the legendary HR.

Every day, I work hard to complete the KPI of finding people, and contribute a lot of vitality to the hell of manpower shortage, especially referring to an average of 50 years for a new member.

After all, the hell jailers are serious civil servants anyway, and not everyone is accepted.

Just having resentment and awareness at the same time is enough to wipe out 90.00% of people.

This is also the reason why the spread of [Hell Communication] has not been as wide as that of "Toilet Hanako" and "Gap Girl".

"Ah, very good."

The ghost assistant touched his chin, looked at the gradually perfect hell, nodded with satisfaction,

"Hell does not do loss-making charity business. If you want revenge, you must have the awareness to join hell first, and pass our assessment and interview first!"

King Yan Mo: "...Ghost Lantern Lord, in fact, the phrase 'do not do business at a loss' is the key point."

*****

Of course, the above are the secrets of hell.

The third son had no intention of telling Kunikida Doppo and Dazai Osamu.

Well, if they're willing to untie the scarecrow and go to hell right now, that's a different matter.

These are all living and useful labor forces right in front of us.

Especially the young Kunikida, one can tell at a glance that he is a social animal, ahem, a talent who has dedicated himself to death.

The red-haired ghost girl looked up at Kunikida Doppo, and gave him a friendly smile.

Kunikida Doppo jerked his back and shuddered: "From this point of view, [Hell Communication] is completely contrary to the rumors. If you want to exile the enemy, you have to die first and then go to hell..."

It is certain that it has nothing to do with Professor Kawaguchi's disappearance.

Then why does Kawaguchi Katsuro repeatedly emphasize that his father's disappearance is definitely related to [Hell Communication]?

Speaking of which, since the meeting and questioning, he seems to have been working hard to lead the disappearance of his father in a supernatural direction.

"Could it be that……"

A light flashed through Kunikida Doppo's mind.

At the same time, the third son also finished the last piece of snack and got up to bid farewell to the two.

"It seems, Kunikida boy, you already have a clue, so I won't bother you, thank you for your hospitality."

"How come, Miss Sanzi's information has provided us with great help, please allow me and Dazai to board, cough, and thank you specially... Hey, Dazai?"

The ginger-haired boy was halfway through speaking when he suddenly realized that a rowdy partner seemed a little too quiet.

This family...has it slipped away again? !

Kunikida Doppo turned his head angrily, and found——

The bandage monster didn't run away, the bandage monster just became a salted fish that had lost its ideals.

"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Osamu Dazai squatted in the corner with his hands on his knees, with the wind and rain behind him, and from time to time he let out a miserable cry.

"..."

Kunikida Doppo reacted with a black line on his face.

That's right, Dazai wrote his name on the paper.

In other words, if he wants to disappear by himself, he must first untie the red thread and exile himself to hell-passing the jailer's assessment and working hard to achieve his goal.

But, at this time, he himself is already in hell?

What should I do then?Flog the dead at work, flog yourself after get off work?

What kind of magic matryoshka 007 is this? !Be sick!

For a moment, Kunikida Doppo looked at Dazai Osamu with deep sympathy.

Kunikida stepped forward alone, bent down and patted Osamu Dazai on the shoulder, and said the same words as Oda Sakunosuke,

"Well... Dazai, don't be discouraged, anyway... just live first."

You can fish while alive, but when you die, you really need to be 24 hours a day, social animal 007.

Dazai Osamu: "..."

Osamu Dazai gave a 'wow' and cried even louder.

Kunikida Doppo stuffed his partner with a tissue, looked at the red-haired girl who was about to leave, and asked politely,

"By the way, Miss Sanzi, do you have any other plans for the future? Do you need me to see you off?"

"No, I'm just going to meet a friend."

"friend?"

"Yeah." Sanzi nodded.

Perhaps because of the thought of her important friend, the girl bent her eyes in a good mood, and even on her face, there was a big smile, as bright as the morning sun.

"Because he said 'want to meet'."

As best friends, of course you have to take time to satisfy each other.

"This, this is it."

Kunikida Doppo was taken aback for a moment, and looked away from Sanko's face a little uncomfortably.

It was Dazai Osamu who suddenly called out to stop the red-haired girl when she was about to leave.

"Miss Sanzi."

The black-haired boy with kite eyes stood up and patted the dust on the corner of his clothes.

He looked at the ghost messenger who turned his head, raised the corners of his mouth slightly, and said meaningfully: "In return, the next sentence is just my personal advice—"

"If you don't want to be bitten by a fierce beast, keeping a distance is the best way."