I don't want to be a human being, the protagonist of the otome game

Chihiro really didn't know this information. Igarashi Qiuyin had never mentioned this matter to the system before, and such details were not something that would appear in ordinary conversations.However, when she mentioned this point, she quickly avoided the topic, as if she just mentioned something inadvertently.

Melancholy ran across her face.Then when it came to the part about others that was separated from herself, Igarashi Qiuyin didn't cry any more. After fading those expressions, her expression was a little pale.

"I don't care about the game, and I don't care whether these characters like me or not-maybe it's strange to think so in the eyes of people who often play games, anyway, it's just a set like and dislike, even if I don't It doesn’t matter if you can get them.”

"But he's not just pandering to the player's stats, and if you've been around him, you can tell. I really wish I was different, you probably hear that a lot, but no one ever said that to me, Even if it's in a virtual game, even if it's just this one time...and then he appears."

This kind of empty tone is more like recalling something mechanically, which makes Chihiro feel that the person opposite her has completely calmed down. Maybe she has already rehearsed the scene of the conversation, and the tears before were just love. Unbearable performance.

Igarashi Qiuyin said calmly, "I know that there is no such good thing in this world. The more people like us, the more difficult it is for us to realize our wishes easily. I think maybe I discovered that he was lying to me , so I want to prove that I am indeed worthy of this sentence by getting what a special person deserves."

"You think I'm funny, don't you? I do unnecessary things for cheap approval, and you also see me as a joke, right? ... I always do this." Her tone of self-mockery was very sharp, and Chihiro felt it The sadness that came from nowhere in her words.After a short pause, Igarashi abruptly stopped talking.

"I didn't use that program, and it was recycled to the system." She said, "During this period of time, I thought a lot, and I think I probably won't play this game again, in fact, I don't want to stay here anymore Go down. Unlike before, all I have left here are bad memories, I will quit directly, I hope you enjoy the game."

After saying this, Igarashi Qiuyin's figure suddenly disappeared, and disappeared from Chihiro's face in an instant, like a pencil mark being erased from a piece of paper.Chihiro opened her mouth slightly, but she quickly closed it again.In fact, in the end, she also had something she wanted to say to the other party, but she had no choice but it was too late to speak to her.

She wants to say that if you get along with your heart, you will find that everyone is not a cold character that is simply set, even if it is only an advanced algorithm. They are different from the rigid existence she thought. She wants to say that she does not find it funny. Here We are all very ordinary people, and the desire to be special can't be wrong.

She wanted to say that it was different from what she imagined... and she had never heard anyone say that before.Chihiro wanted to say this, but in the future, even outside the game, they probably won't meet each other again.

As the other party poured out her emotions to a stranger, some things that happened a long time ago suddenly resurfaced in a way she had never thought of.

In the empty and deserted big house, at the beginning, she raised her hand again and again to ask why they are always not at home, and there are always so many things to be busy.Later, this question turned into acquiescence, and she accepted the fact that she didn't need her parents by her side in silence.

Chihiro has always been alone since she was very young. At an age when she can't understand others from the level of common sense, she already knows the fact that her parents are not ordinary.

Their heads are full of important knowledge, and they have very important and secret jobs, so she can live in a big house and eat everything she wants.In contrast, she has never been able to go to kindergarten by her parents, and there is no cake for her birthday, and no one remembers her birthday.

But there are plenty of goodies, so it doesn't matter if you don't buy cakes or blow out candles to make a wish on a certain day.She knows the way to kindergarten, so it doesn't matter if she doesn't need her parents to accompany her.

It doesn't feel so sad when she never had it, when she didn't see it as normal.When the funds are sufficient, even for children, it is not particularly difficult to live independently.

But this is unusual, the other kids don't care if her parents are amazing people, and Chihiro won't tell them that - because it's a secret.So they just noticed that she never had parents around her.Young children are always more sensitive than anyone else in these matters. They have formed a private community and like to compare secretly, and they care more about the different parts of each other than anyone else.

Chihiro doesn't care about other people's rumors implying that she has no parents, but the influence of the rumors is also obvious, and no one wants to play with her.They all thought it was strange to be a child without adults around, and besides, she was so silent that if the kindergarten teacher didn't call her, she could sit in a corner all day by herself.

The teacher always talked to her out of worry, but even the teacher couldn't get through to her parents on the phone.At that time, Chihiro, who was still fond of fantasy, occasionally suspected that the numbers they left for the school were all fake, and later found out that they might just decide not to let these useless calls delay their time.

The frequent visits by the teachers made the situation worse, and they decided that she was either a bad kid who made mistakes frequently, or a favored "privileged class", so she was completely squeezed out of the children's clique.And this made the teacher care more about her situation, thus creating a never-ending vicious cycle.

No one did things with malice, so is the problem on her own?Realizing this, Chihiro started trying to talk to other people.She bought snacks for the other children, tried to smile at them, and participated in their conversations by pretending to get along with them.

It turned out to be very effective, and when she was in elementary school, the teachers only thought of her as a likable child, and when everyone liked you, they would understand the strange details of you.Even so, Chihiro eludes events that demonstrate the family bond.

She didn't cry when she sat alone among a group of adults at the parent meeting, and she didn't cry when no one cheered her on at the sports meeting.On the contrary, she learned a lot of good ways from it, such as getting good grades in the test that won't make the teacher ask why her parents didn't come, and asking for sick leave on the day of the sports meeting.

Relying on those little skills that made herself fit in, her social relationship at that time could be called very healthy. She cared about every friend around her and treated them with kindness and enthusiasm.But Chihiro has never felt that this relationship is sincere, a friendship that includes business elements, who can say it is sincere?

She was often terrified that one day she would stop trying to be funny, stop being smart and well-behaved, and she might lose everything she had in an instant.Being abandoned by her friends haunted her every night like a nightmare, and she had to be more careful with other people.

...but that was all before her grandmother took her from that house, and a lot of things changed after she entered third grade.She has been living with her grandmother ever since.Chihiro respects each other very much. The old man taught her many important things, and all the changes in her appeared when she lived with her grandmother.

It's a pity that this habit was not abandoned in her growing life, but it made her feel more and more uncomfortable as she grew up.

She just can't help but care about it. The bad habits she has developed since she was a child make it impossible for her to treat people and things in a normal way that doesn't speculate privately or think wildly. Getting kindness from others will also make her uneasy.She lives in her own pessimistic assumptions, and always says sorry to others because of little things, which will bring pressure to others.

Due to the lack of a parental role, she knows that she desperately needs other stable and healthy relationships to fill the emotional void, but for this reason she is unwilling to contact real people. She develops feelings of self-loathing, but she finds a good solution before it evolves to the point where she needs to take medicine for these feelings.

When Igarashi Qiuyin mentioned those words, Chihiro finally dug out this matter buried deep in her heart—she remembered that at the beginning, at that time, she started playing otome games for this reason.

[You said that player quit voluntarily? 】

[That's it, maybe Wujo Satoru scared him, he asked them once before... Could it be that Gojo Satoru can really see through the structure of our game? 】

[Of course it's impossible. The Six Eyes can only see through the spells attached to them from the outside world. This is the only way we can allow players to quickly master skills.Usually this is not abnormal, but this time there is a pet dog with magic power in front, so Gojo Satoru must have other doubts. 】

[The replacement of Igarashi Qiuyin's skills...]

【Hey, hey, that's a complete change in the way mana power flows in the body, of course he can tell it at a glance. 】

[Everyone stop, should we discuss the topic of loopholes next? 】

[I don't think it is necessary.This is not a loophole in a broad sense at all, it's just that Cocoon deliberately took advantage of the loophole to pull them together. This situation will never happen in normal operation, and a patch will be fine. 】

[Has anyone noticed?Recently, there have been changes in the development of the power block and the spell block that are not in our plan and there are signs of mutual synchronization...]

[I traced the traces of Cocoon from that program, he fled to the king's block after the last time, well, that's the only possibility.But the possibility that he is still in these two areas is officially ruled out, so we don't care about the size of the investigation area.Hey, do you think this synchronization was accidental, or have the two blocks started to merge spontaneously? 】

【We all understand what you mean, the answer must be the latter.Since the follow-up energy reserves are sufficient, I don't think we need to reopen Yokohama, just let them merge first and try it out.That's right, this is exactly what we've been looking forward to—I think, this time, there's no need to make a special notice to stop the update, right? 】

--------------------

The author has something to say:

Igarashi is actually a cashier who has never played games and doesn't know much about it, so she basically doesn't care about the content of the game but the content that doesn't look like a game. She and Chihiro are completely different people in every respect. But it will resonate emotionally... A little reveal of Chihiro's growth process.

Everyone probably didn't expect that after this incident, our game ushered in the first major version update!

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 49 bottles of Wuqing; 2 bottles of Yibiya; 1 bottle of Flying Cat; thank you~