After I divorced from chaos step

I had a high fever in the middle of the night, which seemed to be sudden and deliberate.

Dazai tried all the methods that a three-year-old child could think of to reduce the temperature, putting his forehead against his forehead, covering him with a blanket, filling him with hot water, and feeding him the medicine he found from which box he didn't know.

But nothing works.

The high fever persisted, and by moonlight, I saw that the line on the thermometer soared to the highest point, and if the fever continued, the thermometer would explode.

It's rare.

It has been a long time since I had a fever of this severity, even in extremely cold Siberia, and I have never been sick with a fever to the point where my voice is hoarse.The whole person is in a top-heavy state.

"I'm fine, you don't have to be busy, thank you for your hard work." I sat up from the bay window and patted his little shoulder, "Go to sleep, little fat man."

"I'm not as fat as you, you are the fat one." Dazai curled his lips, his chubby face rarely showed worry, "Qingxixi, if you burn like this, you will become a fool, right? Too smart Yazi."

"Why can't you say something nice?" I tugged at his lips, making them into the shape of a duck's beak, "You have such a broken mouth, if you say something nice, it will be easy for girls to like you, when you grow up It’s very convenient to find a girlfriend.”

"Looking for a girlfriend?" Dazai expressed surprise, "Do I still need to find a girlfriend?"

"What? Did you decide to remain celibate at such a young age?"

Dazai didn't seem to have a girlfriend when he was an adult, and he danced around with a bandage wrapped around him every day to make himself happy.

From the oldest Fukuzawa Yukichi to the youngest Miyazawa Kenji in the Armed Detective Agency, they are all single.Only Luanbu is unique, a flash marriage at the age of 27 who did not listen to advice.

Then divorced after half a year.

In the eyes of outsiders, our marriage is like a child's play, coming and going at random, just like a joke.

Even I once thought so myself.Even in this short marriage, it was full of mutual lies, which was far from the most basic honesty.

When I was not married, Luanbu went to my house to formally propose marriage. My mother wanted to postpone the date in every possible way. She disliked him for not being strong enough and being too childish, and secretly complained to me: "He has thin arms and legs, and he can do What? Can I protect you?"

This was heard by Luanbu.

Instead of pretending not to hear like ordinary people, he immediately jumped out to protest: "Slim arms and legs are also very useful, I will definitely be able to protect Qingxixi!"

Mom didn't believe it, Dad didn't believe it, no one believed him, and I didn't believe it myself.

He has no supernatural powers, no physical skills, no stamina to run [-] meters, kicking open the door will hurt his toes, and he can't even carry a [-]-kilogram bag of rice.

But he kept his promise.

He sacrificed his young life, put an end to the nightmare that haunted me half my life, and left me everything he owned - shelter, transportation, relationships, savings, and the best memories. .

In the end, he gave me a hug and said goodbye to me with the most gentle smile.

【Qingxixi, I went to the universe, and I will become the star you see every night. 】

……

"What is celibacy?" Dazai asked curiously, tilting his head.

This vocabulary is far beyond the comprehension of a three-year-old child. I try to describe it in simpler language: "It means growing old alone, eating and sleeping by yourself without anyone around you."

"I'm not alone." Dazai shook his head, "Qingxixi, won't you always be with me?"

"Hey, where do you have the confidence to think that I will always be with you?" Although his head was heavy, Dazai's words still amused me, "When we leave here, I will return you, you You still have to live alone."

If Dazai cannot be restored to his original state, I don't know if the Armed Detective Agency can accept this result.

"No." Dazai raised his face, pointed to the bay window where we were sitting, and said seriously, "People like us lying together will get married in the future."

"Are you dreaming?" The more you say it, the more outrageous it becomes, but this nonsense seems familiar.

Dazai was not convinced: "That's what it said on TV."

I explained: "That's a lie to children."

"Does what's on TV lie too?"

I sighed: "There are liars everywhere."

Dazai pursed his lips: "Do people get dirty when they grow up?"

"It's not dirty, it's just tiring."

"What are you tired of?"

The collapse of adults is silent, but they have to force themselves to calm down and sort out their emotions.

I didn't want to answer, my body leaning against the wall slowly slid down until I lay flat.

The starry sky and the sea outside the bay window are in sight.

"My filthy lord," he also sighed, "There's one next door, I'll ask him to come and see you, he seems to be quite good at healing...hey, get well soon, Qingxixi. "

When he said the last sentence, his voice was extremely low, not like a child, but like an adult.

A childish adult like Ranpo, he also calls me Qingxixi.

"……Um."

I closed my eyes, very tired and groggy.But I didn't fall asleep, and retained a vague sense of consciousness.

Waiting and waiting, Dazai didn't come back.I thought to myself that this kid is really cunning, and he said to call someone for me, but he ran to play.

Forget it, he's just a three-year-old kid, what can we expect from him?

...Three years old, does this Dazai really only have the memory of three years old?Why is he so precocious?In some ways, the words that came out were too startling.

Could he be faking it?

But if it was an adult Dazai, he wouldn't be willing to wear a skirt even if he was killed. All kinds of childlike innocence are naturally revealed, and acting like a baby is also easy to do.

The more you think about it, the weirder it gets, and the more you think about it, the more entangled it gets.

My throat was so thirsty that I crawled down the bay window in the dark to find water.

Phantoms appeared in front of my eyes, and the surrounding walls became like flowing water.

thump.

Because I didn't see the way clearly, I bumped my head against the door and almost fell down.I touched the armrest and breathed a sigh of relief, but the next second, I couldn't relax.

The armrest dissipated silently in my palm.

The next thing to come across is the door.

The door disappeared without a trace before my eyes, and I fell hard to the ground, clenching my fists.

... The supernatural power is out of control again.

Obviously just a little bit under control, now it's out of control again.

The floor beneath him was slowly collapsing, and something was slowly falling apart.

There was a thud in my heart, and my whole heart sank.

No!I didn't even reach out, could it be that I can't even touch my body?

"Dazai—"

No one cares about me.

I tried my best to shout again: "Zhi Jiang."

Someone poked his head out from the edge of the missing door frame: "Qingxixi, are you doing magic tricks again? It seems not very good."

He practiced with me every day, dissipating or reuniting, all of which he called magic.

"I'm here." He stretched out his chubby hand and handed it to me.

When I was a child, when the power was out of control and I couldn't touch the whole world, the only person I could hug was Osamu Dazai.

The same is true now.

I slowly extended my hand towards him.

At the moment when he was about to touch his fingers, Mr. Jin came out from behind him and put his hand on his shoulder.

Two pairs of iris eyes looked at me together.

One pair is deep and calm, and the other pair is ignorant and dazed.

There was only one knuckle between my hand and Dazai's.I took my hand back reluctantly.

"Qingxixi—" He was a little puzzled.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled at him, "Get away from me."

Both Dazai and Mr. Jin have the ability of disqualification in the world, and this ability will cancel out when superimposed.Dazai will become an ordinary child, if I meet him, he will end up the same as Ranpo...

I stood up staggeringly, the floor under my feet had all dissipated, and the foundations were also disappearing layer by layer.

Dazai, who was yelled at by me, tilted his head and looked at Mr. Jin: "Can you let me go?"

Mr. Jin ignored him and raised his jaw towards me: "Come here."

I knew what Mr. Jin was thinking, took a step back, and glanced at the bay window beside me out of the corner of my eye.

Just rush out, I said to myself in my heart.

"Reorganize him." Mr. Jin's voice was as cold as ice.

"...I'm not sure yet."

I also want to restore Dazai to his original form, but I'm not completely sure.These days of practice have made me more or less proficient, but not everything is as I wish.

Besides, Dazai is human.

I will not reach out to him until I am absolutely sure.

"Give me some more time, I'll practice hard—"

Mr. Jin interrupted me, and said softly, "It's been fifteen days, and I think my patience has almost reached its limit."

"I'm very sorry."

"Miss Qingxi, your mother doesn't want your father to stay home for too long."

"Please give me a little more time, five days, no, three days! Mr. Jin, you can't do this—"

The dagger in Jin's hand touched Dazai's neck, and the tip of the knife gleamed coldly.

"Before dawn, if you can't reorganize him, I'll kill him."

"!!!"

There seemed to be a fire in my body, burning from my heels to my eyes, but my whole body was like a piece of cold firewood.

Dazai's kite-colored eyes looked at me quietly, that was my favorite color.

That was the color that connected me to the world, was, and still is.

I still don't know what he went through.Maybe he's full of lies, he's flippant, he's done so many bad things, he's not a good guy in the conventional sense.

But now he is only three years old, just a kid who still has a strong interest in tomorrow's game of dice.

"I can't." I shook my head with difficulty, "He will die."

It's not that easy to reorganize.

"Then he can die now."

Mr. Jin's eyes darkened, and he moved the tip of the knife.

"don't want--"

Dazai's skin was cut, and a drop of the splashed blood splashed on my face, warm and warm.

Blood flowed from his neck, pouring dark flowers on the little white dress on his body.

"Come here and reorganize him."

Not to mention reorganizing Dazai, I don't even know whether the ability I used is dissipated or reorganized.

Everything was chaotic and I became the most hopeless person in the world.

There are cliffs behind and demons ahead.Every step I take, I tremble with fear.

Dazai laughed, his smile was extremely relaxed, sweet and soft, like a child.

Yes, he is a child.

"Qingxixi, I'm fine." He raised his chubby hand with difficulty, "I'm not afraid at all."

"You will die."

The object of my practice can only be objects, not people.Because there is no going back.

"No." Dazai shook his head, and as he moved, more blood flowed from his neck.

I thought his next sentence would say that it is better to be dead.He said, I will not die.

He looked into my eyes and said word by word: "I won't die, you won't let me die."

He opened his two chubby hands, as if seeking a hug.

When I changed him back to this state, he also opened his hands to me like this, clamoring for a hug and a hug.

Never got my wish.

I walked towards him step by step and slowly.

"Qingxixi, I believe in you."

The wind blowing in from the window pulled his voice away at once.

The moonlight and time are very gentle at this moment.

I leaned over and hugged him gently, embracing the tragedy of being dependent on each other.

He slowly dissipated in my arms, I didn't look at his face, I just heard him giggle: "Qingxixi, thank you, I had a great time."

Fifteen days, whether it is short or not, or too long is too exaggerated, at best it is just a small episode in a long life.

I remembered the scene when he accompanied me to practice the ability, no matter what I conjured, he would stuff it into his mouth.

He likes to take a nap on my lap, chase me and tell fairy tales, and then find fault with me.

He dare not go to the toilet alone at night, he will throw a temper tantrum when he wears a small skirt, but he will secretly look in the mirror, he likes to eat canned crab meat until his belly is full.

He is Osamu Dazai, but he is not Osamu Dazai.

……

In a daze, a big hand covered my hair.

"Thank you, Qingxi sauce."

The temperature of his palm is icy cold, slowly running down my hair, caressing my cheek, covering the coldness in my heart.

I closed my eyes in relief.

When I woke up again, it was almost dawn.

Dazai was not beside me, and the room was silent.

Under a row of orthographic characters on the wall, there are a few more strokes. It seems that You Zai was also imitating me when I was a child, and carefully recorded every day spent here.

I pushed open the door.

Outside the door, adult Dazai sat lazily on the ground with his chin in his hands.

"Why are you sitting here?" I also sat down beside him.

He pulled the corner of his mouth and showed a faint smile: "It feels good to sit here, so that when you wake up, the first thing you see is me."

"So what, can you grow a piece of meat? That's—"

I raised my head and saw the big tree not far from us. From the branches to the trunk, everything was covered with white bandages, tightly wrapped, not a single leaf was spared.

"You robbed a bandage store?"

"Ha, do you have the feeling of heavy snow falling on the branches in winter?" Dazai seemed to be deeply intoxicated by his own artwork.

I commented unceremoniously: "No taste."

"Your words really hurt people's self-esteem, Qingxi-chan." Dazai explained helplessly, "I remembered when you were young when you hung dead trees with paper flowers in winter, like seeing spring in the cold winter. So in return , I want you to enjoy the beauty of winter in summer."

"Is this a beautiful scene? Are you kidding me? It reminds me of the horror scene in "Detective Conan: Bandage Monster Murder Case" starring Kudo Shinichi." The corners of my mouth twitched, "In addition, paper flowers I didn't fold it, it was Mr. Jin who folded it."

I have a broken hand, and the folded paper flowers look like huge ugly tumors. Mr. Jin folded them for me and hung them up.

"That's it." Dazai snorted and shrugged, "This tree should also be considered to be wrapped by that guy."

"..." Hey, don't bring such a framed frame.

I walked under the tree and observed the bandage-wrapped tree up close. Dazai followed my footsteps and followed.

"How many rolls of bandage did you use?" I turned to look at him.

He checked his fingers: "All of them are used up."

I looked him up and down, and found that there was indeed no bandage on his arm, but a big OK bandage was pasted on his neck.

"I really can't help you."

I stretched out my hand and touched the tree trunk. The bandage disappeared from bottom to top, and then many colorful lucky sticks grew from the tree.

When the wind blows, the lucky lottery on the whole tree is blown up and down.The lottery hanging above Dazai's head was also blown up.

He read it aloud: "Osamu Dazai is the most handsome man in the world."

"What are you reading indiscriminately, there may be that kind of word on it!"

Dazai reached out and tore off the stick, spread it out for me to see: "Isn't that good, Qingxi-chan, you wrote it yourself and don't admit it."

The paper was not written in my handwriting, but the words that Dazai read out were neatly written on it.

Looking up again, the same sentence was written on the other lucky signs on the tree without exception.

[Zhijiang, thank you. 】

That's my handwriting.

"Dazai, you guy, you wrote it yourself. Forget it, you are really handsome." I took out a roll of bandages from my pocket, "I haven't used up all of them, I still have a roll here. "

Dazai smiled.

I grabbed both of his hands and carefully wrapped the bandages around his arms.After the two arms are wrapped, there is still a small piece left.

I tucked it under Dazai's neck and used it as a bib - something only three-year-old Dazai would use.

"Perfect."

Dazai was not angry, and blew on the bib: "Qingxi sauce is so considerate."

"Of course. It's okay for you to wear some bandages if you have a hobby. Don't wrap up like a bandage freak. If you need bandages in the future, just let me take care of it."

"Okay." He agreed softly.

I cleared my throat, and said seriously: "Let's go and make a break with the Five Decays of Heaven and Man, rescue Luanbu Sang, and turn Tuo Si into a female duck—eh?"

A cold touch came from the fingertips, and it was Dazai who suddenly took my hand.

The leaden sky began to whiten from the sea behind him.

He raised my finger and pressed it on the center of his brow, closed his eyes, and used my finger to flatten the center of his wrinkled brow.