Rebirth of Ten Thousand Years

"I said this little brother, your elder brother is really kind to you. Every day, we use good wine and vegetables to worship you. If you have knowledge under the spring, you should protect him well. In this world, The most rare thing is that someone will miss you." The old man who was in charge of patrolling the cemetery was chanting in front of my grave again, but I didn't expect to be told by a living person after being a ghost, this feeling is a bit subtle.

I don't know what it's like when other people are ghosts. Ever since I became conscious after death, I have been floating beside my own corpse, and now I can't leave this small cemetery at all.Fortunately, there are no restrictions on posture. I can sit, squat, lie down, lie on my stomach, and even suspend among the tombstones. When it opened, it was already a few days or a few months later...

Although I am a little sorry for the old man who is talking to me again, I really can’t remember who the brother he said is—if I can’t look at my name on the tombstone at any time, I’m afraid I only know that I am a dying man. ghost.It's a pity that the elder brother the old man mentioned doesn't have time to come here to see me occasionally, although I don't know if he is here, but the timing of his visit is not coincidental.

I don't know, is it completely liberated this time?Every time I go back to the tomb, I always think this way, and then the next time I find that this extravagant hope has failed again.As a newborn ghost, I can't wake up when I want to wake up, and I can't fall asleep when I want to sleep. This feeling is too tossing-every time I try to recall or think, the next second, I will forget what I am thinking about Thinking about something, or just in a daze; when I struggle with the same question again, I will suddenly wake up again. When I woke up last time, I was already looking for the answer. What about the answer...

Consciousness came back... I kicked and stretched my legs as usual, but didn't I feel a sense of hindrance? !The soul has a stretching instinct, but every time it penetrates the real thing, it needs to work hard and concentrate on trying a few more times-is this the expansion of the tomb?I really need to thank the elder brother that the old man said, and give him the big white flower hanging on the tombstone!

Raise your hands, pinch the corners of your mouth, and lift it up. This is a friendly gesture to welcome the old man to chat!The old man seems to be approaching the day, maybe one day he will suddenly see me, so let's fix his smiling expression first.

The fingertips are cold, the corners of the mouth feel pain from being pulled, the warm body temperature and the creaking sound from the wooden bed? !I opened my eyes suddenly, and I could only see the dark world, why was that faint light so bright? !Stretching out his hand, just like in memory, the halo filled his fingertips, and he could vaguely feel a trace of warmth.

Orange halo?Dazzling?warmth?Still have memory? !Suddenly an inexplicable countdown popped up in my heart: three, two, one! "You cost a thousand dollars! The alarm clock has rung several times and you are still lying on the bed! Get up!" There was an angry curse from above my head. The dead wife is urging her husband, who is as alive as a cow, to go to work in the factory.

Stretching out my right hand, I took the crumpled clothes from the bed and put them on. I followed the route of memory in a trance, and walked towards the toilet that gave off a stench no matter how I cleaned it. In the mirror was a familiar yet unfamiliar face. — That man, yes me?With a cropped cut that doesn't need to be taken care of, a childish face, and lifeless eyes.

Rinse his face vigorously with cold water until the collar was completely wet by the splashing water, then slowly raised his head, the water dripped down the corners of his eyes, and the person in the mirror had a weeping expression—— I seem to be able to see a beautiful woman through a gaze, standing in front of the mirror, carefully putting on makeup... Looking in the direction of the gaze, who is that person standing outside the door looking at?

I ran over in a hurry, but the young figure was gone.Gently push the door open, there is no light in the stairwell, continue to keep up with the pace of memory, walk three steps forward after going out, stretch out your hand, and you can find the position of the guardrail.Step on the first floor of No.20, push open the door on the right, and you can see the sleeping security guard in the duty room of the apartment.

Nothing has changed, or should I say the same as the picture that came to mind?On the bench whose original color could no longer be seen, the security guard was lying on his side with a newspaper spread out on his head, snoring like thunder.Pushing open the heavy iron door, there was a harsh 'squeak' sound, the security guard grunted, turned around and continued to fall asleep - the newspaper fell from his face, and a cloud of dust was raised.

It was not yet bright, and everything I saw was foggy, which made the dilapidated houses and the streets in disrepair even more decaying.Walking around the apartment for a few minutes, the graffiti on the back wall is still there, but the original handwriting has been painted and blurred.I sat slumped against the wall, rubbing the meaningless graffiti, and I felt a dull pain in my fingertips, just like when I was rubbing her tombstone.

In the photo on the tombstone, it is the woman I saw just now... Images keep flashing in my mind, that woman is very beautifully dressed, and when she hears someone complimenting her, she always twitches the corners of her mouth slightly, and her indifferent eyes are also Then it becomes gentle.However, one moment she was a confident and beautiful woman, but the next moment she was screaming and curled up in the corner behind the door, in that basement full of decaying smell, she was manicly grabbing her hair and trembling because of fear... Not far away, standing was that thin figure again.

The scene changes, the woman is humming an incomplete song, she calms down slowly, dresses up again, and then goes out with a big canvas bag on her back. When she comes back, she will tie a few yuan or ten yuan Put the money in the dark cabinet under the bed board.I jumped up from the ground excitedly, ran with all my strength, and returned to this suffocating basement amidst the angry roar of the security guards, and struggled to lift off the entire bed board—in a dark cabinet the size of the bed, the paper was tied The money is neatly stacked in rows, how long does it take to accumulate the amount?

Picking up a roll of money, my hands couldn't help but began to tremble.Opening the seal, he threw the money in his hand above his head with all his strength, and the money, which was as colored as a ghost coin, swirled and scattered one after another.I frantically repeated the actions of breaking the seal and throwing money, until my hands were too tired to lift up, and I let myself collapse on the ground.

I remembered, that woman...she was my mother, a poor woman whose only momentary sense of security was in the dark.I remember when I was a child, that woman would always hug me gently and hum a lullaby with a strange tone until I fell asleep.Everything at that time was so warm, that woman's symptoms hadn't fully manifested, and occasionally when she felt scared, she would hold me tightly in her arms and tell me not to be afraid...

However, one day she suddenly disappeared—even before she died, she didn't leave me a last word.In the psychiatric hospital where she died, there was a diary she held in her arms every day, which recorded how she fell in love with a man.However, it is a pity that their deep love is all her fiction, and she is just one of the many lovers of this married man.At that moment, I realized that the person who drove her crazy was herself—this poor woman living in a world built by lies.

Perhaps, she had already planned to leave on the first day of collecting money.Looking at the money scattered all over the floor, he suddenly felt that something had scratched his face, and he licked the corner of his mouth, the bitter taste stimulated his taste buds.So, am I really alive?Reborn?I believe that ghosts may have the ability to revisit their old places subconsciously, but ghosts have no expression, let alone tears...

In such a dilapidated basement, with so much money suddenly hoarded, and the mess on the ground, I wonder if other people will think it is a den of criminals when they see it?I tickled the corners of my mouth in a self-deprecating manner, arranged the bed board that fell to the ground, spread the bed sheets, took off the school uniform that was washed out of uniform color, folded it and put it back to the original place, lay back on the bed, and put the quilt Cover it well, and cover your head together—maybe, when I open my eyes again, I can go back to the cemetery.

Fantasy is always beautiful, and I always choose to escape from reality without hesitation.Before I died, after disposing of the relics left by that woman, my guilt and belief all along also collapsed.Dejected, I mingled with the social brothers I met by chance, and contributed all the inheritance that fell from the sky to wine merchants and drug lords.At that time, I foolishly thought that only by paralyzing my body could I feel the greatest happiness, and when I woke up, my body had been hollowed out.

A scum among the moths of society like me, there will be a solemn and complete funeral after death, just like the old man in the cemetery said, I have a good brother.The man the woman loves has a child who is probably living abroad now, and is my half-brother.Although I saw him for the first time after his death, I am still very grateful for such a big brother with a paralyzed face, especially the memorial speech I heard at the memorial service. If ghosts can cry, I There must have been tears streaming down my face...

Some things are unavoidable anyway, for example - hungry.I rubbed my protesting belly, pushed the quilt off my head before I was about to suffocate, sat up stiffly, dug out the black suit that the woman had prepared for me from a dusty box, and put it on casually He quickly picked up the two bills and walked out of the apartment again.