From Zhen Huan

Humble, my influence on him was small, he never cared.

I was depressed for a long time, and I no longer had any expectations. I just devoted myself to accompanying the Queen Mother to worship the Buddha, so as to escape.

Huan'er has been asking Wen Shichu to bring letters to explain me, but with my pride, how can I devote even a little bit of sincerity to this man.

But I finally gave in. Huan'er was right. I entered the palace not for myself, but for the entire Shen family. I can't waste the family's cultivation and let down the family's painstaking efforts just because of my own selfishness.

So I cheered up again. With Huan'er's plan and Wen Shichu's help, I avoided many plots and won the emperor's favor again. However, although I smiled on the face, my heart was cold. Only Huan Only a letter from time to time when I was a child can bring me strength and make me feel warm.

Under the emperor's plan, the Murong family was uprooted, the Zhen family and the Shen family made great contributions, and were more and more valued, and because of this, I was even more favored by the emperor.

This kind of love is extremely bitter, but I smiled softly, as if it was sweet.

Later, the queen was also rejected by the emperor in my plan. From the beginning of Xiaoyi, I gradually rose up, and finally I became Concubine Hui, but my hands were already stained with blood, and I couldn't even show a sincere smile.

I have a son, a daughter, and two children. They are my hope in this deep palace and the motivation to support me to go on. They are also very well-behaved and sensible, and they always make me feel very comforted.The emperor likes them very much. This kind of love is very honorable but also full of danger. Fortunately, Huan'er has been helping me, otherwise I don't know if I can bring them up safely.

Ten years later, the emperor passed away, my son ascended the throne, and I became the empress dowager, and the Shen family became very prosperous because of this.When I was wearing a heavy phoenix crown, I thought, if I knew that this phoenix crown would be exchanged for my smile in this life, would I be willing.

I have never known the answer, because it is impossible for me to go back to the past. I have come to the present and become the final winner. Maybe I will never feel happy again, but looking at my two children, my heart is full. And satisfied.

I am a good woman, a good mother, and I will also be a good wife, but the emperor never cherished it!

I grew old alone in the lonely and deep palace, and often recalled the innocent and happy days when I was with Huan'er. Fortunately, Huan'er was happy in this life, which gave me a lot of comfort in my heart!

If there is an afterlife, I only wish to be able to be independent once, like Huan'er, choose a gentle and generous man, and live an ordinary life.

39. Baojuan Extra Story

My name is Baojuan, because I have an older brother named Dabao. The day I was born was a sunny spring day, and the rhododendrons were blooming all over the mountains and plains.

So when the midwife hugged the newborn me to show my father who was waiting outside, my father glanced at the bright red azalea and said, "Let's call it Baojuan."

In fact, no one called me Baojuan until I entered the palace. In the countryside, it is not popular to be so particular. People in the village, including my parents, call me big girl, so that I often forget that I am called Baojuan. .

My parents were both honest farmers, and their lives were poor and tiring. I don’t have much specific memory of what happened before I was six years old. The only thing that had a profound impact was hunger.My family has no land of its own, and we usually use the land of the tenant landlord’s family to plant. We work hard all year round, but we don’t even have a grain of grain left. Hunger is a common occurrence.

I also have two younger brothers, Erbao and Sanbao, who were born when I was two and five years old respectively. With more children, the burden on the family is even heavier, and my parents have to occupy more land. Live till the sun goes down.

Parents spend more time in the fields and less time at home. The memory after the age of six is ​​very clear, but not good.

Every day, I have to take care of the two little ones together with my brother Dabao. I get up very early in the morning to clean the house and take care of the vegetable field at home.When the house is settled, you have to take Er Bao and San Bao out to dig wild vegetables, hunt pigweeds, and pick wild fruits.Wild vegetables can add some rations to the family.Hogweed is the ration of the two big fat pigs in the family. No one can starve them when they are hungry. Our family's oil, salt and cloth all year round depend on these two big fat pigs.And wild fruit is not only a snack for children, but also the only food for children to spend a morning to satisfy their hunger.

Although the days at this time were sad, they could barely survive. After the mother gave birth to the four treasures and five treasures, life became more and more difficult. Generally, people in the village would sell one or two children at this time Going out to serve as apprentices or servants, so that the family will have one less food person and more income.

But my parents just couldn't bear it. They would rather grit their teeth and starve together than send their son away.Fortunately, when Wubao was born, his elder brother Dabao was also fourteen, and he was half a strong laborer.

As for daughters, they generally wouldn't sell them, not because they were reluctant, but because they had better and more useful places to go.

Every year in May is the busiest time in the county. Every village will send girls of the right age to participate in the selection of court ladies. Once successful, the family will prosper.As long as a family has a daughter in the palace, they can earn an additional five renminbi a month, which is directly distributed by the county government. Five renminbi can improve the lives of several members of a farm family.

There is a small landlord in the village who is like this. His mother-in-law gave birth to five daughters in a row, three of whom were selected to enter the palace. Every year, tens of taels of silver came into the account, and he bought a lot of land. Originally, he was just an ordinary farmer. People, but now they are just one level higher than everyone.

Our village is located in the north, not too far from the capital, and it only takes more than two days to get there by horse-drawn carriage.I heard from the old gentleman in the county that our large area has good geomantic omen, and most of our daughters are well-born. The number of people selected is the largest every year. When entering the palace, there is a great chance of meeting fellow villagers, and they can receive some care. They will not go in like some remote places. Yes, always get bullied.

When I was 13 years old, my parents sent me to the county town to run for election with great expectations. When I arrived at the registration place, a white-faced and beardless official asked me, "What's your name?"

I was so nervous that I could hardly speak, but thinking about the poverty of my family, I mustered up the courage to say: "My lord, my name is Da Niuer, oh! No, no, no, my lord, my name is Baojuan!" Thinking of my parents' instructions, otherwise, if I entered the palace, wouldn't my masters still call me such an ugly name as Da Niuer?

It was only after entering the palace that I realized that slaves and maidservants do not have their own names at all, and you have to call you whatever the master likes to call you.

There is also that white-faced and beardless adult, who is not an adult at all, but a slave like me, but with a higher status, so he has a decent title called "insider".

After signing up, I had to follow Mammy into the dark room inside to check my body. I had to take off all my clothes. Mammy’s hands were rough and strong, sliding back and forth on my body. It was not very comfortable, but it was not bad. uncomfortable.Compared with doing laundry in winter and collecting firewood in summer, just kneading it a few times for Mammy is completely tolerable.

I was lucky enough to be selected. After saying goodbye to my happy and sad parents and brothers, I was sent to a carriage. After all the people arrived, dozens of carriages full of school-age girls set off. up.

When I arrived in the capital, the entire yard was covered with carriages. I couldn't count them, and I didn't have time to count them.As soon as we got out of the car, we were all rushed to a large courtyard for training.

The house in the palace is very big. Although they have to live with the other nine palace ladies, they have beds and quilts and are more comfortable than at home.When eating, although there is nothing to eat, but you are full, and you don't have to go hungry anymore.In my eyes, the palace is as beautiful as the heavenly palace in the drama.

I was very serious during the training. When I went to run for the court lady, some maids who came back from my job took us to admonish us, saying that the most important thing in the palace is to understand the rules. If you learn the rules well, you are better than anything else. No matter what the master likes it A servant who knows the rules.

I learned fast and well, and soon the steward picked me up. The steward and I were fellow villagers, and he took good care of me. I didn’t even need to do laundry and cleaning. Instead, I served the steward and gave her Serve and pour water.There are many people who are jealous of this job, but the manager has always insisted on using me. She said that I am careful, smart, and will have great achievements in the future.

When I was drafted another year, I was 16 years old, and the manager transferred me to train. After training, I can serve next to the newly selected show girls.

Serving by the master's side is the goal of most court ladies, because following the master means rewarding money, jewelry, and clothing materials. With these, you will have something to rely on when you leave the palace at 25.

Shen Xiaoyi and Guan Guiren are the most prominent among the show girls selected this year. We well-trained court ladies are eager to serve these two people. Unfortunately, the relatives of the stewards have already decided on the places. I got a little master, an Xuan servant.

I had been waiting in Minsejuli for a long time, until a delicate and petite woman walked in under the guidance of a servant, I knew that this was my future master, and I quickly knelt down to greet her with the other palace servants.

Attendant An Xuan has a handsome appearance, is considered ordinary in the palace, and has no family background, so she is not favored by the stewards, so I was able to share it with me. There was also a big palace lady named Fangcao who came with me.

Fangcao has high ambitions, but she is not very respectful to the young master. The young master has a good temper and did not punish her, but just reused me more. Fangcao was more dissatisfied because of this, and later Juqing came to