Danqing

Yi Xiuyun's expression became dignified again, returning to the state at the beginning, and only maintained a moment of relaxation.

Gao Chengxi pursed her lips, summoned up the courage to lean closer, approached Yi Xiuyun's handsome face, gently smoothed the wrinkles between his brows with the pulp of her thumb, and said, "Don't frown, you still look better when you smile... In fact, if you don’t want to say it, it’s fine, as long as you can be with me now, let the previous things pass like this.”

Yi Xiuyun clasped the back of his head, pressed down and kissed his forehead.

"It's okay... Now that it's over, whether you say it or not won't affect its outcome."

The touch of her lips was very soft, and the happiness in Gao Chengxi's heart swelled to the point of overflowing, and said: "Okay, okay...it's up to you."

Yi Xiuyun let go of him, sighed, opened his lips slightly, and licked the tips of his canine teeth, and continued: "What happened later was similar to what was shown on TV. Our family found Li Yong. How did it work?" I don’t know, because there was no mobile phone at the time... To be precise, Li Yong didn’t have one. I wanted to buy one for him, but I guess he wouldn’t accept it. The mobile phone was too expensive at that time. Li Yong always thought that my family was mediocre... …so I waited until that day when I came home from class, and Li Yongcai quarreled with me. The reason was the same as you just now. He said why didn’t you tell him who my grandfather was, and lied to him that my family was a very ordinary military family. Very disrespectful."

"He also said that using money to bribe him to leave is an insult to his personality, and he has always thought that his family conditions are better than mine, so how could it be possible for him to be with me for profit. I understand all these... Li Yong has a bad temper Well, it was time for him to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and he was anxious. He exploded at one o'clock. I had quarreled with him several times before. I got angry at home and was accused by him when I went to the capital. After a few quarrels, I found that I couldn't find a solution He just didn’t believe that I was serious about him, and said that he was sick, so it must be to play with him. The general idea is that, in short, what he said at the time was very ugly, and I was worthless.”

"Then...then I said, Li Yong, you are not only physically sick, but also mentally abnormal. You should go see a doctor long ago. I, Yi Xiuyun, are blind to cut off my children and grandchildren to fall in love with you."

Gao Chengxi was completely dumbfounded, and asked, "...then?"

"And then what else? Li Yong broke up with me." Yi Xiuyun looked at Gao Chengxi and laughed at himself, "Isn't it strange? Most people's feelings become more and more firm when they experience family pressure. Li Yong and I Yong only had a quarrel and broke up."

"At that time, I was really too young, impulsive, irritable, not much older than you. I think I paid so much for him, and what I got in exchange was accusations. I felt very worthless, and I felt like a fool. I fell in love with him. The ungrateful thing... Yes, I know now that I can't say that. When you are in love, you still pay attention to these things. If you agree, you will stay, and if you don't agree, you will go. It's a pity that I don't understand these principles. I hurt him and myself, and completely destroyed that relationship. emotion."

"I admit that I still liked Li Yong when we broke up, but I just couldn't hold back. Even if Li Yong apologized to me, I wouldn't forgive him. I think, after so many years, I won't be able to find someone? I don't know how many people are going to jump on me with a wave of my hand, aside from my surname Yi, with my face alone, I won't be short of people."

Gao Chengxi: "..."

Yi Xiuyun smiled: "Unexpected, right? I also have times when I'm that stupid."

Gao Chengxi couldn't believe it at all.

Yi Xiuyun said: "It was really stupid at that time... After I broke up with Li Yong, I stopped going to class and went home again. I had a face-to-face quarrel with my grandfather and father, questioning them, saying their The purpose has been achieved and so on. My mouth...is relatively cheap when I get angry. My grandpa almost fell ill. My dad directly hit me with an antique vase on the cabinet, but I blocked it with my hand. Now the scar on my hand It didn't go away, and it hurt very deeply."

"When I came out, the commotion was much bigger than you are now. I made such a fuss, which shocked everyone in the first room and the second room. The uncle and the second uncle's family, who originally planned to turn a blind eye, had to participate. Come in. Because I have broken up with Li Yong, I have no scruples, thinking who the hell dares to stop me, I will fight him to the death."

"After I was beaten by my dad, I was locked in a small dark room... Sissy, your house must not have this thing just now, ours has it, and it is specially prepared for our group of brats to reflect on our mistakes. There is no window , there is only one bed, and the area is small. Living in it is more uncomfortable than being in prison. Basically, you can’t hear the sound outside, and you can’t see the light. Once the door is closed, it’s completely dark. Because my grandpa is protecting me, the whole family is only me. Never been imprisoned. And I'm in my fucking twenties and still enjoy this kind of treatment."

"I forgot how long I slept in the small black room. I couldn't see the time. I was so hungry that someone delivered the food. I didn't ask my dad to let me out. At that time, I was only thinking about the convulsions and forgot to think about why my dad was so angry. Angry, completely unaware that his point was that I disrespected grandpa, not my sexuality. I just thought he wanted me to go on a blind date and get married and get back on the so-called right path. So whatever he said, I had to On the contrary, deliberately anger him."

"Later, I didn't know who it was. My grandfather refused to tell me whether I was the first or second wife. He had to hold a family meeting on my issue. It might be quite violent. My grandfather came to ask me if I mind. I said my mother I can't ask for it."

"I desperately need a platform to express my so-called attitudes. It seems that I have become 'all drunk but I am alone'. Everyone is vulgar and I can't find anyone to support me."

"The family meeting in our family is very grand. My grandfather presides over it. The female family members of the younger generation do not participate. There are more than [-] people in total, and the whole room is full, like a movie. Because many people in our family are in the army. With the political world, it's not easy to get all together, family meetings are only held every few years, so I said that I was very motivating, although they were not aimed at me."

"As I expected, the people from the first room and the second room spoke first, all wanting me to return to the so-called right way. I was very annoyed by the chatter, but I couldn't interrupt until they finished talking. Yes. Abnormal, embarrassing the Yi family, disrespecting elders, AIDS...all the charges are being charged on me, it's so fucking disgusting."

"The only thing that surprised me was my second uncle. At that time, he was not the one with the highest status in our family, and the next head of the family was still competing with the big house. He said that he would respect my opinion, as long as he kept a low profile and did not publicize it. Quietly find someone to live a lifetime, he will not object, and he will help to suppress negative news. My grandfather did not speak, and now I understand that my grandfather should have supported uncle at that time, but I didn’t understand at that time, and I still felt My uncle is a hypocrite. If he really supported me, he would not let my dad go to Li Yong. Usually, if my dad does something, my uncle only needs to say a word, and he dare not say a word. "

"But I'm not stupid enough to quarrel with my uncle in front of me. I haven't forgotten the most basic rules. Later, when I talked to me, I told them that I was just pursuing what I wanted, and I didn't hinder anyone. I always Honestly write calligraphy, painting, painting and engraving, don't fight or grab, always act low-key, never do things outside under the name of the Yi family, and will not take a penny if you want to divide the family business in the future. Now it is simple with Li Yong If you want to fall in love, it will become a fucking deception. I have not been with him for three years, and we must be forced to separate. A man and a woman can get married and enter some palaces. I live with him and don't ask for those bullshit blessings, I have a meal with him every day, talk to him, and go to bed with him so fucking happy that I want to cry, who am I hindering?"

"Yes, I just think I'm very reasonable...in fact, I'm a fool."

Yi Xiuyun sighed again, looked at Gao Chengxi, and said, "At that time, I was really more ignorant than you and Qiuqiu... I lost my head."

Yi Xiuyun didn't sort out this long paragraph in his mind, and the order of what he said was also very messy. Gao Chengxi was a little dizzy, but he got the general idea.What Yi Xiuyun said back then seems to him to be completely correct now.

Probably because of the resonance of the same age?

Yi Xiuyun knew what he was thinking when he saw his expression, rubbed his head, and said helplessly: "Yes...these words are not wrong at first glance...but you know that in such a scene, I said How much harm will my words do to my relatives?"

"I didn't give anyone a step down, including my grandfather who has been supporting me all the time. Those people in the first room and the second room bit me and said a lot of long stories, each one more reasonable than the other... It's fucking disgusting. In the end I quarreled with them, and after the argument was over, I was locked up again. My dad said that my grandpa and uncle were very disappointed in me, and I dismissed it.”

"But when I came out of the brig, everything was different."

Yi Xiuyun's coming out process was no different from other people's. He fell out with his family and was locked up immediately, but he was not beaten by his parents. This was very puzzling to Yi Xiuyun at the time. Yes, but he is unwilling to think deeply and explore the deep-seated reasons why his father did not pursue it.

Gao Chengxi asked him: "Did something happen after you were released?"

"Well, then Li Yong died very suddenly." Yi Xiuyun nodded and replied: "Actually, I was only locked up for a few days. After all the people in Dafang left, my grandfather asked my father to release me. , It became a house arrest at home, and I was not restricted in what I did, but I was not allowed to go out."

"I don't care about this at all. How long they lock me up should I like men or men. I remember that in 02, the Chinese government recognized that homosexuality is not a mental illness. Go to a doctor and treat me, I'm lucky as hell."

"It took almost two months from the first confinement to the end of the house arrest, and a little more, 74 days... The reason why I ended the confinement was...my grandfather told me...Li Yong died."

"On the No.70 day when I broke up with him, he died."