Every warm feeling may turn black

It was already the second day when I realized I was standing on the bow facing the sea breeze.

At some point I have to admit my weakness and incompetence, just like what I have always thought, I am just an ordinary person, although I have more capital to travel through, but most of the time I am powerless to many things.For example, when I encountered such a scene for the first time, I was really confused.

That girl—I guess it might be Hua Zhenzhen, her screams quickly attracted many people.

And the scene at that time was that there was a well-known sect elder in the Jianghu, and an unknown family member who even seemed to have a connection with Miao Seng Wuhua, whose martial arts methods were not clear, plus Kumei was seriously injured and looked tragic, but I didn't even have a scrape.

It is very clear who the people in the Jianghu will lean towards. Even if I emphasize that Kumei wanted to kill me first, it would be in vain.

I really didn't know what to do. Looking at this group of Jianghu people who were excited but seemed to have scruples about my martial arts and hesitated for a while, I could only get away and run away in the end.

I was really running away, I was very flustered, I could almost imagine the situation where I would be beaten and killed in the rivers and lakes, and I didn’t know where to go until Yuan Suiyun found me and said: "No matter what happens There will be a day when it subsides, before that, go to hide from the limelight."

I was in a daze, and I couldn't think of anything myself, and finally boarded the boat to Bat Island with Yuan Suiyun.

I know that my trip is to Bat Island, because the special copy map rewarded in the Kumei event is exactly Bat Island. On the small map, we are going along a green channel to a small island in the boundless sea.

I know the horror of that small island, so the closer I get, the less panic I felt about being betrayed and helpless, and it turns into another kind of panic that arises in my heart.

The panic left me cold, my heart constricted, and I seemed to lose all strength.

So I had no choice but to wipe the Lishui sword that hadn't disappeared, even though it wouldn't be stained with any dust at all.

The face of the sword that shone with a clear and cold light like autumn water reflected my bewildered face, and also reflected the face of Yuan Suiyun who was right behind me. There were layers of waves in his nothingness eyes, making it hard to tell who was behind me. Think about something.

The closer I get to the Bat Island, the less I want to talk, but for some reason, when I look at the tumbling sea, I seem to have a certain kind of foresight. This illusory feeling makes me run without turning my head. And spur me to face a certain fate that I have to face.

Suddenly I asked Yuan Suiyun without warning: "Is there still no light on Bat Island?"

The violent sea breeze was blowing head-on, and the hair and sleeves of the person were flying. As soon as my voice came out, it seemed to be carried to an endless distance by the sea breeze, which made me doubt whether I had spoken, but Yuan Suiyun's reply Convince me that I did speak.

He said: "Lights are not allowed. It's just that for others, our trip is just to relax. Lights are a necessity."

——Relaxing?

I always feel that I heard the funniest joke just now, and I want to sneer to refute Yuan Suiyun's words, but my expression reflected on the Lishui sword is close to sadness.

In fact, I haven't even left Bat Island for half a year, but when I go back now, I feel that I have left for a lifetime. I can't help but mutter: "I don't want to go to Bat Island, but why should I go back?"

I am not asking Yuan Suiyun this sentence, or even asking myself. It is impossible for Yuan Suiyun not to know, but he replied: "Maybe looking back, you will find that the past is not all purgatory."

I blinked and suddenly asked him, "Are you born again?"

Last time I said that I was reborn, he didn't respond at all, which really aroused suspicion, not to mention that some things he did since rebirth were indeed different from those in his previous life.

When I asked this sentence, I didn't know how different answers would be different to me, but when he opened his mouth to answer, I suddenly thought, if he is really reborn, then I will kill him immediately he.

The bottom line of a person is really strange, just like before, I think Yuan Suiyun is not unforgivable, but at this moment, I feel that Yuan Suiyun, who knows the past, is absolutely unforgivable.

The Lishui sword trembled slightly, arousing a thread-like killing intent in my heart. I saw Yuan Suiyun shook his head, and he said: "Rebirth—does it mean rebirth? I don't, I don't think I will. No memory other than this life."

So I suddenly became calm, I looked at him, quietly but seriously, until I saw that although his face was still calm and peaceful, his eyes were gradually stained with unobvious uneasiness.

I asked him, "So you want to know, what have I been through?"

>>>

I have contemplated suicide.

When the limbs are full of pain and soreness, the nerves connected to the heart are constantly being pulled, clamoring to be about to collapse.

I once begged Yuan Suiyun, I said: "You let me die, Suiyun."

But Yuan Suiyun only caressed my back gently, as if I was a cat or dog, lightly comforting me: "It will be fine soon, don't worry, little uncle."

——What can I worry about?What does he think I'm worried about?Is he really comforting me?

At first I thought it was absurd, but then I realized that my pain and despair, to Yuan Suiyun, might be nothing more than a petty fight, an awkward and coquettish act.

It's so strange, when I realized this, I suddenly didn't hate Yuan Suiyun anymore, maybe my physical condition at that time couldn't support the so-called hatred, hate is really a kind of exhaustion Emotions.

When I couldn't even hate, my body really weakened rapidly. For a long time, I didn't have a complete and coherent thinking. I just woke up occasionally and felt Yuan Suiyun hugging me. Remind him - it hurts to hold him too tightly.

You see, Yuan Suiyun's love for me has never given me good feelings since I realized it.

——Why can love be so painful?I kept asking myself, and finally I felt that we must have different views.

Although I can't see it, when he does certain things, is it out of his own good intentions?

When I think about it, I even feel a little pitiful for him.

It was this poor Yuan Suiyun who moved me and loved me.

When he realized that he had made a mistake and started to frown to solve it, but was still walking on eggshells, I felt that this was a very cute Yuan Suiyun.

Stripped of countless shackles, countless self-tortures, and countless complicated memories, what I fell in love with was the pitiful and lovely Yuan Suiyun who was at a loss in regret and restlessness.

When we got off the boat and walked on the weird and barren reef beach on Bat Island, I was talking to Yuan Suiyun about the time before I died.

That period of time was already very blurred to me, so I had no choice but to vaguely describe it to him—plum blossoms, new snow, country trails, blue-gray sky, and I said: "Although it was a bit sad at that time, there was still a kind of joy of relief. Feeling." Having said that, I smiled slightly.

Yuan Suiyun's dark eyes were looking into the void, I found that there was nothing in his eyes at the moment, he was just dazed, without blinking, and then he said: "I... sorry."

So I turned my eyes away, and I looked at the isolated island hidden in the mist and the gray sea in the distance, and suppressed the strange pleasure in my heart.

>>>

I was following Yuan Suiyun, walking towards the place where I used to live.

This is my proposal, although as I keep approaching, I already feel that a kind of suppressed mania is about to break out in my heart, but I still follow Yuan Suiyun and keep walking forward.

Bat Island is actually not big, but the underground caves extend in all directions, and in the darkness with no light, people who come here for the first time will inevitably feel uncertain and lose their sense of direction, so they will mistakenly think that this underground cave is like Some kind of other world.

I used to think that this was a different world, because there was no light, and no human voice. In the darkness, I felt that I was alone, curled up in some unknown, nascent world.

But in fact, as I walk along the way now, I can hear all kinds of human voices, yelling, the sound of dice shaking, the delicate voice of a woman acting coquettishly, and intermittently groaning softly and charmingly. /chants...

Every few tens of meters, it seems to have walked through a world.

And as it continued to deepen, the voices gradually died down until it was completely silent, and I arrived at the place where I was once imprisoned.

Holding the lamp in my hand, I looked at the small stone room revealed after the huge stone was removed. There was a stone bed in the center, covered with gaudy brocade and covered with layers of gauze curtains. out of the thin chains.

The past played in my mind like a revolving lantern, and I couldn't help but step back, but I held it back. I held the Lishui sword tightly, feeling its slight tremor, as if I had some kind of courage.

In the end, I just laughed and said, "Yuan Suiyun, the color scheme is ugly."

Yuan Suiyun smiled wryly.

So I said, "But what does that matter--no one saw it, never saw it, until now--right?"

Why does he still have these?Too late to clean up?It doesn't matter whether you can see it or not?Still think there is still a chance? ——The tumbling thoughts are like surging black mud, gradually submerging the unbearable memories of the past.

I approached and lit the gauze with a candle.

The thin gauze is woven with the finest and thinnest silk thread, it can be the best gauze, and it can also be the best firewood. In an instant, the fire spreads like fireworks and spreads to the brocade. On the stone bed, continuous fireworks bloomed.

I said, "Let me burn this black history for you."

When the smoke and dust dispersed, there were footsteps, and I heard a familiar yet unfamiliar female voice, she said: "...It's on fire!...My lord...Ah!"

I turned around and saw the maid covering her face with her sleeve as if thinking of something.

I thought uncertainly, is this the person?Was it this person who died because of me?