[Comprehensive] First Love Trainee

"I'm sorry, I'm not blaming you." After taking a few deep breaths, Maki stabilized her emotions, lowered her head, and her fingers were tangled together nervously, feeling her chest tight.

She has too many emotions and feelings to express, and she can't even organize the words for a while.

Although surprised by Maki's reaction, Tezuka understood her.Asai Maki will always treat others gently, for fear of causing trouble to the other party because of her own reasons, so she has never been aggressive.

The original intention of all her reactions was not to hurt, but to protect.He knows it all.

"It's okay, I know." He took a step closer to the girl, hugged her into his arms, and felt the girl's slender body tremble slightly.

There was a high fever in the boy's arms after a strenuous competition. Through the chest, she could hear his heart beating vigorously and feel his light breathing on the top of her hair.The slightly hot body temperature on the clothes, the nice scent of soap, and the sexiness mixed with a trace of sweat all made Maki's throat a little choked for no reason.

She breathed slowly, closing her eyes to push back the heat in the corners of her eyes.

After a long time, until she felt that she could completely control her emotions, she gently pushed Tezuka's shoulder and opened a little distance.

"Tezuka-kun, do you know? Although I haven't said it, I have thought many times about what we will become in the future." During the hug just now, Maki thought a lot in his head, until finally She was even a little surprised by her extraordinary calmness and rationality, as well as the extremely clear thinking she now possessed.

"What I look forward to is that we can make progress together at any time. No matter what stage of life we ​​think of each other, we will not have any regrets. Try to influence each other's decision by relying on intimacy, and only pursue the short-term agreement at the moment. And disrupt the long-term plan for the future, if I do this, I will never have the face to see you again. I hope that everything in your life can be as you did before, completely follow the inner choice, no Will consider anyone else, just your own thoughts. You don't need to make any second-best changes because of my feelings. That's not what I want to see. The relationship I want is whether we are in Where, what to do, whether there is still contact with each other, when thinking of each other, you can say with a clear conscience, 'I will never regret anything related to him', this is what I love about us. expectations between

Of course she would be reluctant to give up, and of course she would want to have more opportunities to stay with the person she likes, otherwise she would not deliberately choose to apply for the Affiliated East University knowing the difficulties.But Asai Maki is never willful or selfish. She always considers others with kindness, endures her own emotions, and restrains her desires, for fear of hindering others.

She doesn't just see herself.

"I really wanted you to listen to me once in a while." If you don't say what's on your mind here, maybe you won't have the chance anymore.Thinking of this, Maki smiled a little shyly, and sat down on the rest chair by the road. "At that time, I was often worried about your arm, and I didn't understand your choice of protracted warfare. I even lost my temper with you. I hope you can take into account my trembling emotions and restrain myself appropriately, at least not like that. Unscrupulous. But you have always given priority to obeying your own will, and you have never been confused or hesitant. Because of this, I even gradually rejected tennis, thinking that it is the culprit that hurts your health."

To this day, recalling such a mood would still be depressing and regretful, Maki felt Tezuka's hand holding her shoulder stiffly, and patted his arm comfortingly.

Originally, what she said now was not to complain.

"Later I understood. I always feel that I am thinking of you, but if your wish is to defeat the opponent in front of you, wouldn't my dissuasion become interference? This is wrong. I shouldn't just because of my weakness It's not fair to you to ask you to let go of your ideals."

In the past, I always felt that it was difficult to express this kind of contradictory and even a bit despicable mood. I was afraid that showing my inner emotions would hurt my image in the other party's mind, so I was always patient and self-suggested.In fact, it might be better if you speak out frankly.

Maki began to feel relaxed, and now she no longer avoided Tezuka's gaze.Her expression was calm and gentle, with a sense of comfort, and her indifferent eyes indicated to the other party that she didn't feel hurt by it.

"So, I don't want you to make any changes against your will because of me. You used to be decisive and direct without hesitation, and worked wholeheartedly on the path you believed in. I look forward to you. I don't want you to waste it for any reason. Your incomparable talent, take any detours. Originally, what I liked about you included being firm on the court, never giving up, and always facing every opponent seriously. I can't because of the weakness that I can't bear in my heart, I just ask you to accommodate my mood."

"I don't think you are weak, nor are you trying to accommodate." Tezuka interrupted Maki with a frown, "I have considered this matter for a long time, and it is very clear. This is my own decision, you Don’t feel burdened and remorseful about it.”

Looking at the serious, serious and meticulous boy in front of him, Maki couldn't help but clenched his slender and well-articulated hands with nostalgia.

"Tezuka-kun, I think, let's... let's part here."

She saw Tezuka's eyes widen in surprise because of his own words, and saw the panic he showed for the first time when he was eager to refute, and the thoughts that had been chaotic just now became more and more clear.

She was even able to pull out a friendly smile, and firmly shook her head at the person in front of her who she liked from the bottom of her heart.

"Dr. Kuroda once said to me that the time in life to run as hard as possible is very limited. If you regret it when you have to stop, you will fail yourself. If I keep you selfishly now, you may be in the future." Just thinking briefly, 'If I had started my career earlier, it might be different now'. Just once, even for a second, just thinking I'm going to make you feel that way, I can't stand it."

"So, let's all do our best to move forward according to the path we have planned. Don't take into account any other influences, just make the choice you think is right. If one day, we have the confidence to say that we have become the people we want to be without regret. We will surely meet again.” At that time, if our current intentions have not changed, we will definitely be able to take responsibility for our choices.

Tezuka didn't speak for a long time.

The hands they held were never separated, and they were gently resting on their laps. The distance between him and the girl beside him was only a few centimeters. He could see her face, her expression, and everything in her pupils clearly.

She has always been so kind and gentle, even when she felt the saddest, she never tried to blame anyone.All her patience, all the grievances, all the waiting, and all the tolerance were all because of him, but she didn't even complain about him.

After a long time, he lowered his eyes and asked softly, "Are you sincere?"

The girl smiled warmly, her eyes were very sincere: "Yes." Every word could not be more sincere.

He nodded, and slowly let go of her hand: "Okay." The wind blew over the place where his hands were clasped, and it felt very cold.

They didn't get up and leave right away, they just sat in their seats and looked at each other quietly.

Maki's hair was a little messed up by the wind, and a few mischievous strands were blown to the corners of her eyes, making her eyes a little red.

But her expression is calm, her smile is warm, and her eyes are sincere.

She did not force herself, she did not lie.

Tezuka thought of her little embarrassment when she occasionally lost face in front of him, the annoyance she felt when she accidentally expressed her heart in Munich, the annoyance when she complained about the entrance examination rankings, and the serious smile she gave when she helped the department members make up their lessons. Face.She loves to be brave, has a sense of responsibility, always takes care of the people around her, loves to laugh, but is easily satisfied, and always tolerates his shortcomings and willfulness, but he hasn't even cherished her.

Even so, she didn't even think about herself when she left.

His throat was a little tight, which Tezuka attributed to his lack of hydration after the game.

His usual steady voice was a little hoarse, and the volume of his speech was very low, and Maki was just able to catch it when he sat so close to him.

"Can I hug you?" he asked.

But before she could answer, he opened his arms and hugged the girl in front of him.

Boys' shoulders are not broad, and they can even be called thin. It was already a little cold in January, but his chest was warm and firm, like the eternally calm and deep sea, reflecting the temperature of the sun.

She swallowed the soreness in her throat, hugged the boy back, and the corners of her eyes were a little stinging from being swept by the hair.Maki closed her eyes tightly, but still felt a icy coldness in her eyes from the wind.

"Sorry, I never said it before." The boy's voice was right next to my ear, "Actually, I really like you."

"Next time, if we can meet again, don't worry too much about my face. Let me confess, okay?"

Maki's nose turned red, and she laughed softly, and patted Tezuka's back lightly with one hand, a bit like coquettishly: "What! Saying such things at this time... next time you can just say no? Anyway You're not very used to asking for my opinion..."

"Thank you Maki. I'm glad I met you."

"Me too."

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The author has something to say:

There are bound to be many people who don't understand, since they like each other, it also shows each other's intentions, why should they separate.

Just like what Maki said, it takes time and energy to maintain a relationship. When two people are together, they will definitely consider each other's feelings and positions more or less.

Since I was a student, I have disagreed with the choice of giving up a better way out for myself for the sake of a relationship.I always believe that only when you are good can you see a wider sky, meet better people, become more confident and self-reliant, and have greater ability to love someone.Only in this way, when facing the person you like, can you have enough self-confidence and believe that you are worthy of the other person.This is the confidence that belongs to oneself and cannot be taken away by anyone.I also hope that everyone can put their own development first when considering the future.

It is true that sacrificing for a loved one is a very precious feeling, but a person's life is very long, and your situation and feelings at each stage of life are not static. Human nature yearns for brighter things, and gives up the possibility of self-growth , It is tantamount to handing over one's destiny to others, and the feelings gained in this way will definitely not last long.

As for not breaking up, two people are busy with their own careers, please think about it, it is a foreign country, there is a time difference, it is not easy to meet and contact, if you are addicted to your own studies and careers, don’t devote yourself to maintaining this relationship A relationship, then the relationship is impossible to go on.

So I think, with the characters of Tezuka and Maki, it is more in line with the character design to temporarily separate here.