hp pounding

The batch of potions requested by Lucius Malfoy was not difficult to make, the only difficulty was that the quantity was large and the time was tight, yet his request for potions remained undiminished - as long as they were of the highest quality.

Snape made these potions in the Room of Requirement when he was not in class, and he set up ten cauldrons to brew them at the same time.

Half a month later, he realized that even though he missed Harry every day, the memories of getting along with him were still gradually fading. I have forgotten the day—even though the day when I finally left is still fresh in my memory, as if it was last night.

He thought he could remember for a lifetime.

He thought that moment was eternity.

But none of this can stop the erosion of time on him, his memory is mottled - does it mean that his affection for Harry will also disappear one day, like gravel passing by his fingertips, he can't stop it.

So even if he has learned time magic, can he still go back?

Snape had a gloomy face, he was used to rebelling against fate, but he was always hit by a wave of fate on the stone, his head was broken and bloody, and finally he was forced to bow his head.

He is so incompetent and cowardly!

After Snape boxed the potion, he found an empty glass bottle, only about the size of a palm, and he enchanted it with the ability to store memories.

He held his wand to his temple and recalled the memories with Harry, he forced himself to draw out these pleasant memories that tugged at his heart, full of warm emotions and tones, and he dropped the filaments into the bottle middle.

Shove in some every day until—the permission from the Restricted Section bought by the potion is obtained.

He had almost forgotten the reason why he had to work hard all night to make the potion in exchange for this permission.

His memory is so blurred that only one belief remains - he wants to go back.

His Harry was waiting for him, and he couldn't leave him alone.

But who is Harry?

Every time the question popped up, Snape subconsciously looked at the glass bottle that held his memories.

He still remembers, he remembers the day he left, he remembers that vaguely remembered teenager smiling at him, they were in mid-air, and then the huge and prosperous fireworks bloomed.

It's like a boy's bright smile—even if he can't remember the face at all.

That must be a very happy memory, otherwise why would his eyes be wet?

Oh, he remembered—it wasn't just Harry, there was an unborn life waiting for him.

He has to go back, he has to go back.

He can grasp his destiny, he can step across time and space.

He can hold his happiness.

But—it was destined to be similar to the fireworks that rose to high altitude and exploded that day, and finally dissipated into the night sky, leaving nothing behind.

He couldn't find magic that would allow him to go back, no one has ever been able to go to the future, not even a parallel dimension - there is no record of it.Even the magic he'd tried in the first place had been to turn the Time-Turner forward a few turns—and that was wrong.

Two people cannot exist in one time and space, people from the past cannot go to the future - and there is still one him in the future time!

"So it's the only way to do it." Snape stroked the bottle containing his memories.

This was the only way, and he didn't want to do it if he could.

He knew how bad his luck was, and he knew more than once that he couldn't catch anyone who wanted to.

He couldn't even believe it himself, so he kept his memory.

But what about his emotions?Memories alone are certainly not enough, and Harry—his Harry, he must never give to anyone.

He would rather destroy Harry, only belong to him, no one can get him.

But the saddest thing is that Harry doesn't exist in his world now.

But Potter is courting Lily, and if he succeeds—as long as they get married, a baby named Harry Potter will be born.

Time will slowly advance according to its original course.

Everything is preordained.

Snape cleaned up all the clutter, and he raised his wand with trembling hands to pull out all the memories about Harry - including the sentence he just remembered.

With the moment when the memory was peeled off, he almost didn't remember that there was a boy—oh, he also needed to forget all about the episode of going to the future.

He wanted to make sure that Harry Potter was born - and nobody would bother.

History will go on steadily and peacefully.

And his fate—his fate, he just had to wait for his Harry.

"There's emotion left, and I can't keep it," Snape muttered, as if hypnotizing himself.

With his memory stripped away, his mind was frantically questioning his actions.

Why is he acting so irrationally?

But his Occlumency was working like crazy.

Shut up!Shut up!Shut up!

He had to finish, he had to wait, he wanted his Harry, he wanted his Harry intact and alone.

Then they will form a family.

No one can stop it, this is a secret that only he knows.

and so--

Snape found a book in the restricted section, it was a book about managing one's emotions and memories, the magic recorded in it could seal off a person's emotions, and with a time limit - it would make those who should have been Time-diluted memories and emotions are "kept fresh" until the moment the magic expires.

He is willing to add this lock to his brain.

As quickly as possible, and with absolute certainty.

But before the magic could work, he was deeply irritated by how often the foursome wanted to sabotage his research.

He'd overheard Sirius Black's little secret that they were going to the Shrieking Shack on a full moon night -- they seemed to go out every full moon night.

Snape made a note, and he was going to go grab their little secret and give it to the professors.

But in the end - troublesome James Potter rescued him from the mouth of the werewolf.

Snape stared hatefully at the backs of Potter and Black, cursing the foursome - the Headmaster had kept this secret from Remus Lupine.He could see that the principal was the biggest support of the group of four.

And Remus Lupine's furry little secret, he was also forced to keep it in his heart, not to speak out.He deeply hated himself for being weak and incompetent, he could only bow his head even when his life was in danger.

Listening to his own cold voice, he gritted his teeth and squeezed it out of his mouth that was about to vomit blood.

He must be strong.

He must gain supremacy.

He needs money, status and glory!

He was in more frequent contact with Malfoy, but the seasoned businessman saw his eagerness, and he cooled him down - and it made Snape realize how shallow his power was.

At least he needs to pass NEWTs, he needs to fully complete himself and show his talents to the master.

He wants to package himself as an excellent follower, not a fool with empty ambitions but no corresponding abilities.

Snape got busy, and it wasn't until a week before the OWL exam that he remembered the emotional sealing magic he was about to perform.

However, at this time he hadn't thought of Harry for a long time.

He had already forgotten about Harry, he couldn't even remember what the boy looked like, and he couldn't remember anything about their relationship.

Snape stared blankly at the letter in his own hand that reminded him of himself.

He poured out the memory and stuffed it back into his mind, then painfully recalled it all.

He lay on the ground and wept bitterly—his Harry, the beauty he held, his savior.

After all, they will go the opposite way.

"The Dark Lord is doomed!"

The boy's clear and confident voice echoed in his mind.

But now that the Dark Lord is growing stronger, this is the only shortcut to glory he can hold.

He couldn't help admiring the mighty Black Duke, and no one in Slytherin didn't praise his greatness.

Not even Dumbledore could defeat him.

And the principal is getting old, and the Dark Lord is the future they should follow.

Snape used Occlumency, which kept him awake.

He couldn't turn back, and he didn't want to turn back.

He had nothing and couldn't find his Harry.

That was the only branch he could hold on to, and he couldn't give it up.

So - these emotions can only be sealed until the day he leaves - if his Harry exists.

We will meet someday, if the older man is really him.

With trembling hands, he arranged the prepared materials. He stood in the center of the drawn runes, raised his wand and pointed it at himself.

With the Latin spells he uttered, his emotions gradually faded, and love and longing were leaving him.

In the end there was only - no, he felt very good, even more sane.

He was even able to calm down those memories in his mind. Snape extracted the memories again, and he stuffed the flocs back into the little glass bottle.

He tossed the glass into the trunk and finally forced himself to forget about it.

But it's back to the state before school started, this is the path he should take.

He doesn't need love, nor warmth.

His fate was in his hands.

He has extraordinary talents.

So he will finally catch his own happiness.

He made a clean break with his former friends, and walked alone towards the door opened for him by the only senior Malfoy he could grasp.

Finally he graduated from Hogwarts and packed up all his belongings, including the bottle of memory—although he no longer remembered what kind of memory it was.

But he won't let go of his belongings, especially if they're memories.He carefully stuffed the bottle of memory into his luggage.

Finally left Hogwarts with this little box.

Dedicated to the realization of his ambitions.All his talents were dedicated to the Dark Lord, and he got a token of glory, but this was not enough, he needed to get closer to the Dark Lord.

He humbly prostrated himself on the ground, imagining the day when he would gain power—and the appreciation and encouragement from the Dark Lord was like a push hand that pushed him into the abyss and finally completely blackened.

Until—he heard a prophecy.

At this time, he had completely forgotten about the bottle of memory, and he would not think of opening it or destroying it.

And completely forgetting that the only thing on his mind when he anxiously and eagerly accepted Lucius Malfoy's potion making list was that he wanted to catch his Harry.

But now he just wants to grab the glory, and it turns out that even this is vain.

He couldn't hold on to anything, and the Death Eater's tall building came crashing down.

He is back to square one.

But this time Dumbledore took him in, and the wise old headmaster gave him a chance to redeem himself.

Then—and his responsibility, the only child left by his friend who died because of him, the savior of the wizarding world.

Fate mocked his stupidity, so he had to bow his head to fate with a pale face.

Until—many years later, after a ghost boy left, the secret magic in his mind was shattered, and he returned to the dormitory frantically flipping through his old items, and finally held the bottle of memory glass bottle.

The silver-white filaments are spinning in the bottle, as if it is eternity.

Sure enough, his luck was wasted many years ago.

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There is also a side story after the end of the main text, thank you for reading, okay?