After I lost my memory, I attacked the crematorium.

Li Bowen's clinic has not yet opened, and he and Xie Jinian made an appointment at the temporary apartment.

The apartment is under the name of Ye Jiayang. It is located in a prime location in the city center. The advantage of the high floor is that the floor-to-ceiling windows are spacious, which is a good environment for opening up.

"Ah Cheng is the only person besides Aunt Xu who lives with me. He is like a light." Xie Jinian said to Li Bowen with a smile, "Although such a metaphor seems to be very old."

"It's unique to you, how could it be the beginning." Sitting on the single sofa opposite Xie Jinnian, Li Bowen seemed to be chatting with a friend, calm and gentle, Xie Jinnian didn't feel any sense of oppression, nor did he feel the first time Strange and cautious when I saw it once.

unique.

Xie Jinian nodded, "But maybe it's because of this, Ah Cheng..."

He stopped talking, and frowned, his eyes crossed Li Bowen's shoulders, and fell to the far city skyline outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Because there is no need for special explanation between them to deliberately express.With just one look, you can understand the twists and turns in your heart.As proud as Han Yicheng, as indifferent as him, and never afraid of showing the most vulnerable side of yourself, the side you least want to be seen by others, directly to the other party.

On the contrary, the pain that is the most vulnerable and least wanted to be seen by others, all want to be seen, comforted, cherished and protected by the other party.

Perhaps it is because of this that Han Yicheng never hides the bad side of his character, but instead shows it more vividly and imposes it on them.

In the past, he felt that this was Han Yicheng's unreserved trust and dependence, and it was a concrete representation of the two people's promise to never leave each other. He even thought it was sweet, and felt that it was a unique and exclusive proof.

And over time, when the world he faced was no longer just a small world of two people, but a complex three-dimensional polyhedron, he felt that facing Han Yicheng who was still the same, he was indeed getting more and more tired and getting more and more tired. tired.

But Han Yicheng didn't seem to care about his change at all, or, because he didn't want to change, he pretended not to see it.

"If you don't mind, can we talk about you first?" Li Bowen's impeccable and delicate face is full of wisdom that can fully understand people's hearts, but it is harmoniously blended with warmth that makes people feel at ease.

He raised his wrist, looked at the time on his watch, and smiled slightly: "We still have a lot of time. It's okay for you to chat from birth."

Xie Jinian smiled sadly: "My problem really started before I was born."

The Xie family is a scholarly family that has lasted for several generations. The whole family is absolutely proud of the inheritance of the family lineage, and the family motto is self-denial and ritual.However, Xie Jinian's mother violated their parents' arrangement and eloped with Ji Bainian, whom she met somewhere and who was not recognized by her parents.

When Xie Jinnian was three years old, his mother was involved in a car accident and entered the ICU.

Ji Bainian really couldn't afford the cost of the ICU, but without treatment, Xie Jinian's mother would not be able to survive.He had no choice but to call Xie Jinian's grandfather.

After that, Xie Jinnian never saw his father again.

After her mother was discharged from the hospital, she was taken back to Xie's ancestral house by her grandfather and placed under house arrest in the depths of the ancestral house.And Xie Jinnian was handed over to a nanny and taken to Ning City thousands of miles away to be raised.

He didn't know how his grandfather described to his mother the reason why his father left. He only knew that his mother never mentioned anything related to his father to him.

If Ji Yuchen hadn't appeared, Xie Jinian wouldn't even be able to remember that his father's name was Ji Bainian, let alone that he had a younger brother.

Ji Bainian promised Xie Jinian's grandfather to stay with Xie Jinian, and he took Ji Yuchen away and disappeared completely in exchange for his lover's treatment.

Grandpa left Xie Jinian behind and asked Ji Bainian to take Ji Yuchen away, just so that Xie Jinian's parents could be tortured the most by the pain of separation.

And even though Xie Jinnian was left behind, he kept separating their mother and child.

Xie Jinnian's mother never walked out of the backyard of the ancestral house again, and Xie Jinnian was only allowed to go to the backyard to accompany her mother for half an hour on New Year's Eve every year.

Such seclusion as punishment, until the age of 16 at the due date.

Both he and Han Yicheng were still exiled by their families in that private school with closed management in the first year of high school.

Except for winter and summer vacations, the only time the school allows contact with the outside world is the phone call time of the designated guardian once every two weeks.

The designated guardian of Xie Jinnian is Aunt Xu.In the second week after school started, Aunt Xu cried and told him that his mother had entered a dying state.

Grandpa had no intention of notifying him at all.

But even if the old servant of Xie's family secretly told Aunt Xu and Aunt Xu told him, he couldn't go to school and was penniless, and he had no choice but to grab Han Yicheng's lapel and twitch and cry.

He still remembered Han Yicheng stroking his back, and said in a firm tone, "Don't be afraid, I will definitely take you to see your mother."

That night, Han Yicheng took two classmates to make a human staircase, and led Xie Jinian over the wall and out of the school.

He still remembered that after Han Yicheng left the school, he knocked on the door of the old things recycling shop without hesitation, took off the jade pendant he was carrying with him under his stunned gaze, and exchanged it for 5000 yuan.

With the 5000 yuan, they bought the first flight tickets and finally arrived at Xie's ancestral home.

"At that time, he stabbed his throat with a dagger and said that if I was not allowed to see my mother, he would splatter blood on the spot. Fenghan International and Han Dongzhou would never let it go."

Thinking of the scene at that time, Xie Jinian was both terrified and confused, "He can still see the wound left by the cut skin on his throat, and I saw my mother for the last time."

A look of emotion appeared on Li Bowen's face.Xie Jinnian smiled melancholy again: "That piece of jade. The top-quality ice type emperor green. Later, I saw a piece that was about the same size and thickness, but the quality of the jade was inferior and the carving was not good. I sold it. 80 [-]."

"The important thing is not that he only exchanged 5000 yuan for the plane ticket for me, but that it was the only thing his mother left him."

"The Han family has a history of genetic diseases. Ah Cheng was in very bad health when he was a child. When he was one year old, his mother worshiped the mountain three times and knocked down nine times. She fasted for half a year and bought this jade for him. It turned out that it was for me..."

Xie Jinian's smile became more melancholy, "We searched for it for a long time, but we still couldn't get that jade back."

After seeing off his mother, on the plane back to school, he remembered that he was wrapped in Han Yicheng's arms and wept silently.

Mom never came back.My mother never mentioned my father's last name, and my grandfather refused to disclose it. He had no way of knowing where he was.He will never go back to the Xie family's ancestral house.The only person who was related to him, and who he was willing to be related to, was Han Yicheng who was holding his hand tightly with a bandage around his neck, except for Aunt Xu.

"It's always been like this since I was a child, I'm a transparent person, no one needs me." Xie Jinian's hands clenched into fists, his nails dug deep into his palms, "But Ah Cheng said that he needs me. He only believes in me, and believes that even if he has nothing, even if he is childish and willful, I will always be the one who will never let go of his hand."

"He needs me. He doesn't need to be brave by my side, and he can temporarily let go of his hidden hatred. So, we have a promise to exchange."

Han Yicheng promised him that he would never leave him at any time, and never let him be left alone.

"What about you? What did you promise him?" Li Bowen asked.

"I promise him." Xie Jinian raised his hand and rubbed his temples, "Any time, any request, as long as he wants, as long as I can."

"This does not seem to be an unequal promise." Li Bowen said, "But emotionally, it is impossible to be completely equal."

Xie Jinian rubbed his wrist slowly, and nodded sadly: "Yes." "It's not hard to see who is not equal." Li Bowen said, "Can we try to talk and make changes?"

"I know where the problem is. Cheng and I, we both have problems. He needs to always put him first and pay attention to people, and I, I need to know that I am not an insignificant transparent existence, I will Needed by others." Xie Jinian sadly said, "We all have gaps, we need each other, I'm the same as him, we share the same disease."

Li Bowen nodded, gently pushed the gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose with his slender fingers, and said with a gentle but direct attitude and pitch: "The key word for sympathy is illness, not pity."

Xie Jinian was taken aback for a moment.

"I am not a doctor today, but a friend to chat with you." Li Bowen smiled gently, "You can think of me as Ye Jiayang. Although I may not be as noisy as him."

Xie Jinian also smiled: "Yes, Jiayang is too lively, he doesn't have Dr. Li's gentle, elegant and informal temperament."

"Call me Bowen." Li Bowen took a sip of coffee, "Jiayang and I mentioned your past with Han Yicheng."

"Jiayang and Ah Cheng... are not very close." Xie Jinian smiled, "The Ah Cheng he knows is probably a person who is somewhat paranoid, emotionally sensitive, and doesn't like to give face to anyone. But in fact, Ah Cheng Although Cheng is very successful in his career, he is actually the child who suppressed his inner despair and waited in a strange zoo, but could only hug his knees and tell himself not to be afraid."

"Look, when you encounter a problem related to him, the first reaction is to think for him from his perspective." Li Bowen smiled and looked at Xie Jinian, "When he encounters a problem related to you, the first reaction is What is it? Has he ever thought about it from your point of view?"

Xie Jinian's eyes dimmed, he smiled lightly at himself, and shook his head.

Li Bowen tapped the coffee cup lightly with his fingers: "This may be the problem. You are willing to sacrifice part of yourself to accommodate him because you love him. This is not humble. Love inherently contains the attributes of consideration, tolerance, dedication and sacrifice." , this is human nature."

"With all due respect, I agree that there is love between you, and this love is even deeper and more real than most couples who are together." Li Bowen's voice gradually became serious, "But the foundation of the relationship between you is different. Falling in love with the same disease is not healthy, and it is difficult to maintain a long-term balance. On this basis, he interferes with your career and controls your life based on the wanton behavior in his nature, but you will understand him from his perspective, because Love and tolerate and indulge his wantonness."

"His wantonness will sting, affect and even hurt your emotions and life, but you have such harm because of the consensus that he loves you. With all due respect, this is a squeeze on feelings."

Li Bowen's words made Xie Jinnian feel the pain of being stabbed.

Seeing the change in his expression, Li Bowen eased the rhythm of his words: "You and him are independent individuals. You are willing to share his pain and tolerate his sharpness, but he should never take it for granted just because you love each other. Your understanding. I shouldn't use this to ask you to make concessions with peace of mind."

"His character in the formative years is partly caused by me. I have always pampered him. Until recently, I have been wondering if I subconsciously hope that through this pampering, he will always need me and leave him completely." Don't let me go?" Xie Jinian thought about it, and said slowly, "I think, if I'm not by Ah Cheng's side one day, what will happen to him?"

Li Bowen showed an understanding expression, and signaled Xie Jinian to continue expressing with his eyes.

"My existence and the way I've formed a relationship with him based on my own fears may have done him more harm than good. I always felt like we were saving each other, but I was missing one thing."

Li Bowen pushed his glasses again and asked, "What?"

"You're right, sympathy and love for the same sick are not healthy." Looking at the distant sky, Xie Jinian said flatly, "Those who cannot save themselves cannot save others either."

The author says:

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!