Reservoir Dogs

It was windy at night, and as soon as Fu Jingsan tiptoed out of the house, his hair was blown by the wind and his eyes were blinded.

Summer was coming, and he forgot to take a coat to put it on. He only wore loose short-sleeves, covered only the edge of the sweatpants, and his legs were so cold that they couldn't stand up straight and were trembling.As he walked towards the stairwell, he looked downstairs. Huo Yunjiang's appearance was not much better than him, and his hair was also disheveled by the night wind, and he had a vicissitudes of life.

The buildings were close together, and the wind passed through the gap, blowing ghosts and wolves howling.Fu Jingsan hurried downstairs to Huo Yunjiang in this creepy voice, rubbed his still sleepy eyes: "What are you doing here in the middle of the night, didn't you say it for two days, I thought you were going back to school..."

He didn't even meet Huo Yunjiang's eyes, and just kept talking in a hoarse voice.

But before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by the movement of the person in front of him—the person who had always been indifferent hugged him extremely suddenly.

The opponent's hand clasped the back of his head, and pressed him into his arms with a little force.

"What are you doing……"

Huo Yunjiang just buried his head in the hollow of his shoulder, hugging him tighter and tighter, as if he wanted to rub him into his body, but he didn't speak for a long time.

Fu Jingsan was a little uncomfortable being hooped by him, but he didn't want to break free for a moment.He could feel that Huo Yunjiang was in poor condition, and his whole body exuded fatigue; he was not good at comforting people, and he was even more afraid that he would say something wrong if he opened his mouth casually.

They hugged in the cold air for a long time without letting go, and Fu Jingsan's arms wrapped around his back at some point.

He doesn't hate hugging Huo Yunjiang, maybe he likes it a little bit.Especially the smell of evergreen wood on the opponent's body, which is even more impossible to ignore at close range.Throughout the first year of high school, he could smell Huo Yunjiang's scent almost every day. Usually, it was better than nothing, and occasionally it became more obvious when he got close... In winter, he wore Huo Yunjiang's cotton coat and lay on the table to catch his sleep, and this smell lingered on him. , like some kind of sleep-inducing incense.

He could still hear Huo Yunjiang's heartbeat, beating heavily.

"Jing San."

"Um……"

"My mother committed suicide."

When he was almost out of breath by Huo Yunjiang, the other party finally let go of some strength, and said something that made Fu Jingsan startled in a tone that could be called indifference.

He subconsciously wanted to break away, and tried to look into Huo Yunjiang's eyes to verify whether the words were a joke or the truth; but the other party didn't let him succeed, and continued in a hugging gesture: "There is no funeral, and she has no friends, so there is no need to inform others. People; my father and Mrs. Huo will go back tomorrow...but I still want to come to you today."

"...Jie, mourning..." Fu Jingsan tried his best to squeeze out these two words.

These words are too light.

Words such as "sorrow and change" and "it will be better in the future" are too light.Although he also lost his parents, he felt that he would not understand Huo Yunjiang's mood at this moment.Even if he hugged Huo Yunjiang, patted his back and said some comforting words, he still couldn't really feel the other person's pain.

——He thought so, but Huo Yunjiang didn't.

Huo Yunjiang's voice was deeper than before: "I'm not very sad either."

"..."

"It's just that after she died, I really don't have anything." Huo Yunjiang whispered, "Nothing really belongs to me."

"..."

"It's a bad feeling."

Fu Jingsan racked his brains and couldn't think of how to answer his words.

In other words, he never thought that Huo Yunjiang didn't come to school for a long time because of this incident.His elders didn't even explain the whole story to the school, they only summed it up with a sentence of "sick leave", which seemed to fully explain the embarrassing status of him and his biological mother.

He really doesn't know how to comfort people, let alone how to comfort Huo Yunjiang.

So Fu Jingsan broke free from his embrace suddenly, held his shoulders with both hands, his eyes widened, and he looked at him more fiercely: "... go drink?!"

"Ok?"

"Have you brought any money? If you don't bring any money, I'll go up and get it," Fu Jingsan said, "I'll buy you a drink!"

He knew about Huo Yunjiang's life experience, but he never thought about it deeply.

From the standpoint of poor people like him, the love and hatred of the rich are purely looking for trouble; even illegitimate children live happier lives than the worker bees at the bottom of society.

But in fact, they each have their own sorrows and their own unhappiness.Seeing Huo Yunjiang's appearance, Fu Jingsan even felt that maybe no one in this world really lived happily. Everyone was suffering, and they tried their best not to let others feel that they were suffering.

The tattoo that made him feel humiliated probably has a deeper meaning to Huo Yunjiang.

He led Huo Yunjiang to a convenience store to buy a dozen cans of beer and some snacks, and sat on the steps near the pier in the dead of night when no one passed by.

Wave after wave of the river gently swelled, slapping the river bank; Fu Jingsan was covered in goosebumps by the night wind at first, but after a few cans of wine, his body began to heat up; neither he nor Huo Yunjiang were good at nonsense, and the two listened The sound of water drank dull wine for half an hour, but the atmosphere was not awkward.

Fu Jingsan was a little dazed after drinking it, and then suddenly said: "Have you ever cried?"

He spoke endlessly, but Huo Yunjiang instantly understood what he meant: "...No."

"Then you cry now," Fu Jingsan said, turning his head uncomfortably, and said, "Just pretend that we all drank too much, and I'll forget about it tomorrow morning; I can lend you my shoulder... don't hold back, really .”

"I don't want to cry..." Huo Yunjiang said, "I mean, I don't want to cry."

Fu Jingsan didn't dare to say any more, he was afraid that he would bring Huo Yunjiang back into the pain.It has also been ten days since he didn't come to school; perhaps the heart-piercing pain has already passed...or maybe, as he himself said, he is not so sad.

It must be bragging when it comes to others, but it is very true when it is said to Huo Yunjiang.

The personality displayed by the other party is such an appearance that he is extremely indifferent to everything, including feelings.

Only not to him.

Thoughts drifted here, alcohol made Fu Jingsan no time to think about the inappropriateness of these words: "Can I ask you a question?"

"Well, you ask."

"What do you like about me...or are you just joking? I really don't understand..."

"Looking at you makes me feel alive."

"Can you make it simpler?"

"To put it simply..." Huo Yunjiang thought, "It's love at first sight."

"……fart."

"...Heh." He smiled softly, dangling the beer can in his hand, "I have never been interested in anything, but when I saw you getting angry and saying that you wanted to pay me back, I suddenly I find it interesting."

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, not that interesting."

"What kind is that?"

"I just think you're alive."

"You're starting to say things I don't understand again..."

"You don't need to understand," Huo Yunjiang turned his head, looked at him and said seriously, "Jing San, as long as you want, I can give you anything; in exchange, can you belong to me?"

"...Do you mean to give me money?"

"Money is fine, and love is fine."

Huo Yunjiang spoke lightly, and reached out to touch the jar with him.The beer can made a crisp and strange sound, as if announcing the conclusion of the contract on its own initiative.

Fu Jingsan thought for a while and said, "Actually, you want it, right?"

"what?"

"You want me to like you, say it like I'm begging you to like me."

"Don't you like me?"

"I don't like it." Fu Jingsan said, "I don't hate it either."

"It doesn't matter if you don't like me, as long as I like you." Huo Yunjiang said, "If you like something, you should hold it in your hand."

I don't know if it was out of comfort or subconscious recognition, but Fu Jingsan didn't refute him anyway.

It's impossible to talk about those hypocritical words about likes and dislikes for a long time; it's just that when he looked at Huo Yunjiang's side face, the tattoo on his lower back seemed to be itching faintly.

He went to ask Huo Yunjiang what he liked about him, the question itself was ridiculous.Fu Jingsan himself didn't know what he liked about Huo Yunjiang, even if the portrait had no emotion, even if the tattoo was tattooed on his body like a psycho, he never thought about not liking him.

The more I think about it, the more it seems destined.

He and Huo Yunjiang both drank too much that night, they drank up a dozen wines, and walked towards his house like idiots with their shoulders crossed, laughing and boisterous.The main reason is that Fu Jingsan is laughing, he loves to laugh when he drinks too much, and talks nonsense while laughing; Huo Yunjiang seems to cooperate with him, the corners of his mouth are always raised, and he strikes up conversations from time to time.

Fu Jingsan still kept in mind not to wake up her sister, so when she led people in, she gestured wildly for silence, "shh" endlessly.But when he entered the door in the dark, the two of them staggered and knocked over many things before entering his cubicle.

They huddled on the narrow spring bed and kissed under the covers; Fu Jingsan couldn't bear the teasing, turned over and rode on Huo Yunjiang's waist, making the bed creak and creak.

He bent down to kiss Huo Yunjiang, and when the passion was on the verge of breaking out, he whispered vaguely: "I will accompany you, don't talk about what you have and what you don't have, you don't have nothing..."

Holding his hip, Huo Yunjiang also asked in a low voice, "I have you?"

"... Anyway..." Fu Jingsan said, "Huo Yunjiang, be happy."

"...Say you like me, and I will be very happy."

With the strength of wine, Fu Jingsan opened his mouth subconsciously, and the words were about to come out: "I..."

These words are very simple to think of, but extremely difficult to say.The words stuck in her throat, Fu Jingsan paused for a second, then simply lowered her head and kissed him even more frantically, as a confession.

Fu Jing wanted to save face in life and death for three days, so he pushed himself and others, and he didn't say some things at the time—I'm afraid he won't say them in this life.

***Y***Q***Z***W***5***C***O***M who was standing downstairs at his house that night , looks so pitiful, it makes him feel a sense of responsibility out of thin air.He almost forgot that there was a huge difference between himself and Huo Yunjiang, it was he who looked up to Huo Yunjiang; at that moment he somehow felt that he could save him, like a **Y_Q_Z_W_5_C_O_M** fearless hero.