blowing clouds

Xu Donghai on the wine table was more unwilling to be lonely than usual, and almost collapsed on the ground after eating. Chen Xiyang followed him to toast a few rounds of wine for different reasons, but luckily he was not drunk , and can still help him to be a big brother while calmly smoking a cigarette.

Elder Tang was getting old, but he crushed two young people in terms of drinking capacity, and fanned his fan with a ruddy complexion: "How are you two? Are you okay?"

Xu Donghai smiled like a mentally retarded man, and softly gave a thumbs up: "Editor Tang is fine, boy, I'm willing to bow down...I just found out today that you have a bit of Hong Qigong's demeanor..."

Chen Xiyang gave him a serious kick in the ass, stopping his drunken nonsense: "Editor Tang, the car is coming, you can get in the car first and go."

A yellow van taxi slowly stopped in front of them. Elder Tang himself opened the door and greeted the people around him: "Get in the car, let's go together, let them wait for the next one."

Chen Xiyang wanted to give in, but how could he gain the upper hand in words with his mind on his mind, and Xu Donghai, who was leaning on him, was about to fall asleep, so he could only be forced to get in the car first.

Elder Tang also asked him to report Xu Donghai's address and send the drunk first.

The smell of gasoline in the car was very strong. Chen Xiyang, who was sitting in the far corner, simply did not move and did not speak, his eyes were fixed on the road outside the window scattered with spots of light. Others thought he was drunk and stopped chatting with him, but this It was exactly what Chen Xiyang wanted.

Other people's jokes could not reach Chen Xiyang's ears. Alcohol and heat made his forehead full of sweat. Looking at his blurred reflection on the car window, he still couldn't understand why someone could be so fearless.

When the car slowly slowed down and brought Chen Xiyang back to his senses, he noticed that the surrounding streets became familiar and Xu Donghai's house had arrived.Chen Xiyang patted and yelled and finally regained the other party's consciousness, and they got out of the car together. He excused that his home was near Xu Donghai's house, and watched the senior who was halfway through the car leave.

Xu Donghai seemed to be in a good mood. Although he staggered, it did not prevent him from humming all the way. Chen Xiyang thought this was the most standard posture of a drunk.

The night wind that came blowing dispelled some of the heat. Chen Xiyang took out a cigarette with one hand and just put it on, when he heard Xu Donghai beside him suddenly say: "That little brother is really cool..."

Chen Xiyang paused, and after being dragged by the other party, he staggered a step and then said in the usual tone: "It has something to do with you? Why, have you changed your taste?"

"I think he's very free and easy," Xu Donghai laughed. "His family is in politics. It's really admirable for him to be so self-sufficient. Brother, this publishing house is more interesting than I imagined..."

Chen Xiyang ignored him, and when he wobbled to the door with his arm, the filter tip in his mouth was already wet into a lump.

After Gu Honghong opened the door, she thanked her godson and scolded her own son without incident. Chen Xiyang refused the invitation to go in and rest on the pretext that his parents were worried. Gu Honghong asked him to bring two newly slaughtered pheasants home. Get away.

In fact, it is not close to his home, but Chen Xiyang did not take a taxi, but walked through the busy or deserted streets and alleys with his legs, as if he neither wanted to spend the night outside nor to go home.

In my impression, I seldom walk such a long road at night, and he even dared not go out after dusk for a while, but now he has no fear in his heart, and he doesn't know if it's over, or he has changed his way of being.

He walked on the street completely by muscle memory, the traffic was far less dense than in the daytime, but the sound of the horn never stopped, sometimes the lights of the shops illuminated his feet as bright as day, and sometimes only the cold moonlight illuminated his way forward , Chen Xiyang feels that this world seems to be a living thing, even it is easier to change than people.

After walking for some time, he saw the familiar night market stall.

Because it is a holiday, although it is late at night, there are still not many people staying outside, and most of them are young students. They sit together, talking and laughing, men and women. Delicious beer and even white wine, they did not hide their likes and dislikes for each other, Chen Xiyang stopped naturally, envious of them from the bottom of his heart.

It is a beautiful thing to be able to freely express love or hate.Especially after losing this ability, you will have this feeling.

After listening to several students' bragging stories, Chen Xiyang turned around with a wry smile. However, facing the dark alley in front of him, he realized that he had subconsciously returned to the alley where he used to rent a house.

His home is in the family courtyard of the Electric Power Bureau, and there is no place for him here anymore.

Naturally, the bed that she slept with Lin Ji no longer existed.

The laughter and the lights went away at the same time, and the moon quietly hid in the clouds, but Chen Xiyang could clearly see the walls of the alley in front of him rising rapidly, blocking him in a suffocating gap.Time and space were shattered, Huoshaoyun stuck his head out in the air, and the most obscene panting sound, together with himself, and everything else, were ignited.

It was really late when Chen Xiyang arrived home. Chen Li and Lu Yan, who were sitting in the living room doing accounts, had come to an end, and Lin Ji, who was sleepy beside him, cast their gazes at him.

"Drank some wine." Chen Xiyang explained dryly.

He really just drank some wine, and he is still far from drunk, so it is even more difficult to explain why he came back so late, but he is already an adult, and his parents will not insist on him explaining, Chen Nodding in approval: "When you're at work, it's normal to have entertainment, just be careful not to show off at the wine table, go wash up and sleep."

Lu Yan added: "I'll go and boil some water for you. Are you hungry? Do you want to order another bowl of noodles?"

Chen Xiyang shook his head and walked towards the sink.

When he came back to the living room after washing his face, Lin Ji had already returned to his room, and Chen Li was also yawning and packing up the receipts on the table, obviously planning to go to sleep.

"Dad, Mom." Chen Xiyang raised his hand slightly, stopping Lu Yan who was about to boil water.

The old couple glanced at each other, and turned to Chen Xiyang at the same time, their faces were filled with confusion.

The room was silent, so Chen Xiyang wasn't sure if he really heard the insects chirping outside, or if he had an auditory hallucination. In this peaceful late night, he suddenly wanted to express everything in his heart.In front of him is his closest and favorite person, he will not blame him for insulting him, but will only hold him in his arms distressedly, and bear the disaster together.

But it was also because of this that Chen Xiyang couldn't speak, not because he was unwilling or something, but because he really couldn't speak, and his body refused to cooperate with him at all.

The expression in Lu Yan's eyes was instantly replaced by worry, she stepped forward and grabbed Chen Xiyang's wrist with both hands: "Son, what do you have to say to Mom."

Chen Xiyang felt that his mother's fingers were rough, but he didn't dare to look down, let alone look at those cloudy eyes, and Chen Li who was standing by the table frowned slightly.

"..." Chen Xiyang called his mother, but there was no sound, and then he forced a smile, "It's nothing, my son has grown up, and you don't need to worry about it in the future..."

Lu Yan lowered her head and silently wiped away her tears. Just looking at her expression, she couldn't tell whether she was sad or relieved.

Chen Li walked over slowly, put his hand on his wife's shoulder, and looked at his son: "Xiyang, Dad knows a lot, but not too much, so I don't know what's wrong with you, but Manly man, no matter what the problem is, you have to think about it in your heart, huh?"

Chen Xiyang nodded silently, and Chen Li pulled Lu Yan back to the bedroom, closing the door very gently.

After turning off the light in the living room, the surrounding area was dark, but when I turned my head, the window was like a TV screen that had just been turned on, shining with a gloomy cold light.

He didn't go back to his room, but sat on the sofa in the living room and opened his eyes wide until he got used to the darkness, and everything in front of him gradually became clear and clear.

It's a pity that his heart can't be seen clearly through his belly.

There was silence all around, which made Chen Xiyang sure that he had an auditory hallucination just now, the sound of insects could not enter the building, and there was no road if there was no road.

After the door opened silently, Chen Xiyang looked over calmly, and Lin Ji's figure was clearly visible.

Even if it is urgent to urinate, the most important thing Lin Ji should do at this moment is to close the door quickly, but he didn't do that, and he didn't go to the bathroom, standing motionless in the open door.What's even more strange is that Chen Xiyang was neither agitated nor angry, but remained completely calm, as if they had made an appointment long ago to look at each other silently at this moment.

Ah Ji's eyes are so dark, Chen Xiyang thought so, he has seen those eyes in different ways, happy, calm, fearful, plain, wronged, dodging, but they just don't have the expression he most yearns for.

A sudden impulse rose in his heart. It is impossible for his parents to fall asleep right now. He didn't even need to say anything. He just needed to drag Lin Ji into his parents' bedroom and kneel together, and they would soon understand his intentions. .But the act of getting up from the sofa drained all of Chen Xiyang's impulses. He walked into his bedroom silently, closing the door gently as if he was afraid of disturbing wild animals.

Lying on the bed, Chen Xiyang smiled nervously, maybe he is not a shocking homosexual at all, it is true that he likes men, but he himself does not deserve to be called a man at all.

In half a year, the world will usher in a thriving new century, but Chen Xiyang has already seen the end of his life.