Into a parallel world

It's been a long time since I spoke like this.

Qiao Ye took a deep breath and let it out heavily.Opening his eyes, Ming was already standing beside him unknowingly, his eyes were full of emotions that he couldn't read.Looking at such a person, my heart is still very empty, I don't have any memory about the lover, and I was forced to accept the setting just by saying "we are lovers".

Since when did you lose your memory?I don't know, but it is not a big change from the terrible dream at that time to the dreamless night now.I don't remember all the previous dreams, but I feel scared when I close my eyes. What are you afraid of?Afraid of ghosts, afraid of monsters eating me, afraid of demons occupying me, afraid of running non-stop, fleeing barefoot in the bottomless abyss, those terrible things are eroding me every moment.

For a long time, I didn't know what was tormenting me-memory.Do I have terrible memories?

A voice asked me in a formulaic tone if I had the ability to enter parallel worlds at will, why didn't I know that I had this ability beyond normal people?In the long corridor of time and space, I saw myself as an orphan with a good friend who had been alone for 19 years and finally had a lover.

His eyes are dark green opals, shining with the light of wisdom and affectionate tears, his smile is warmer than the rising sun in front of his eyes just right, his booing and warm voice is as soft as a fish jumping out of the water, his Thoughtfulness is like a quilt that exudes warmth in a cold night.His goodness and everything about him made me fall deeply.

But I... gave myself in exchange for the claws to tear myself apart.

How can I, who is already cowardly, have the right to be loved by him who is like a god?If you can, please let me pay with my life for the mistakes I made in my stupidity.The only thing I can dig out in my memory is the pain on my wrist, and the blood left in the vision, a lot of blood, like the blood left by the rainwater when I died...

I am dead?Am I not alive now?

His name is Lu Fengluo, I remembered, he has a shop called 'Flowers in the Wind', that's where I first met him.Looking at the garden full of spring, I still can't help recalling the me who abandoned my dreams, the me who gave up on myself, and the me who survived standing in front of that wooden door in order to regain my dignity.

Inside and outside the door, people from two worlds are separated. The moment the door is opened, the gap between people is still ridiculously large, but the difference in the appearance of the packaging is no longer obvious.

'Where have you been for another year? '

He asked me where I had been for another year. Should I tell him that I was comatose in a hospital bed for a year?But my feelings for him were gradually eroded by unknown forces during the year of coma, and the only thing left was the bewilderment that I hadn't seen for a long time.

'I made an appointment while you were sleepwalking. '

Am I Depressed or Triggering a Split Personality?I...can sleepwalk?

I forgot what I dreamed about in the year when I was in a coma, but what I can remember is that I am no stranger to this man who calls himself my lover, so I will accept the other party's words calmly.

He has the same dark eyes as mine, but his eyes are not filled with innocence and cuteness, but a bottomless abyss, very similar to the black hole that appears anytime and anywhere in my dream, the black hole that can swallow me.He also has a high nose bridge and thin lips. What fascinates me the most is his face that is both yang and yin. On his face, I can always see the appearance of two people merged into one.But I'm sure I'm not dazzled.

"Ming, how did we meet?" I asked, he was silent for a moment, and ran his warm palm along my hair.He said that I saved him, what a hero... a hero who saved the beauty.

He was about to die in that car accident, but I suddenly appeared and saved him. He said he would follow the example of Linghu and repay his kindness, so he agreed with me.Thinking about it carefully, I really saved someone, but the memory was not very good afterwards, I forgot what happened after I saved it, maybe there was a romantic love story, or maybe it was an unforgettable love-hate relationship Wrapped until the end and finally get married.

But my memory is only a piece of white snow, the gloomy sky, the branches in the distance are inserted alone in the sky, the snow-capped earth is cold, it is amazing that from the dark sky without sunlight, there will be such pure white falling The snowflakes are very fragile and cannot survive on the face.There was always a black cat by my side, and then the cat disappeared, replaced by a man in a black sweater and black windbreaker, who later put on a big red robe, which was very conspicuous in the snow.

"Ming, why don't I remember anything?" I leaned on his lower abdomen, and I could still feel the firmness of the abdominal muscles through the fabric.He kissed my forehead lightly, I couldn't understand what was in those eyes, I think I still don't know enough about my lover.

The scarlet robe swayed on the snow, and a red flame was born in a twirl. It was a big explosion, and I was swallowed by the fire.

And then?I do not remember.I remember I have a cat named Jar, it is very special, the whole body is covered with glossy black hair, and there is a red pattern on the forehead, it is really special, it seems to understand all my words, when I am in danger Time will save me from siege.I don't know how to describe it, but it really has a special place in my heart.

Then the jar disappeared, and I met a lot of people. These people just passed through my life in a hurry, leaving very few traces, just like the book said.

But there is nothing I can do to leave traces or be forced to leave traces. My lover Ming is the one who left traces. He said that he should erase all my previous unpleasantness, so that I won’t forget about it as soon as I recall it. I can't extricate myself from the pain of crying.

I think I should hate, hate those people who have appeared in my life, but I don’t know why, this kind of negative feelings gradually become flat with the appearance of Ming, as if with him alone, my whole The world only needs him to hold me.

'I like your eyes. '

Ming said he liked my eyes, he said they were like glass beads soaked in clear mountain spring water, they were so crystal clear that he couldn't bear to hurt them.I looked at myself in the mirror, with an ordinary face, and under Ming's praise, those eyes seemed to be the finishing touch, making this ordinary face brighter.

Recall what I can remember and what I want to say. It is better to keep this notebook. After all, my memory will always be lost every now and then. It should be said to be tampered with. Oh no, it is too mysterious to use tampering.Maybe it's because I'm getting older and my memory is confused.

Oh, and I don't expect to be able to recall anything with this notebook in the future. After all, the description is quite chaotic now, but I still try my best to organize it.

"Ming, thank you for welcoming me to your world, and you are also welcome to mine."