Even so, I still like you

Xu Zhixing's office became a small safe haven parked at the corner of the corridor. With the other party's tacit consent, Shen Tongguang would run to him almost every class break with this collection of questions in his hands. The group of people who asked him to fetch water arrested him. I can't catch it.

The seven-square-meter office is filled with math problems, future plans, and many small and boring trifles. The more they chat, the more they become acquainted. Occasionally, when they meet in the cafeteria, Xu Zhixing will make him a meat dish. Shen Tongguang is also used to it. Taking his teacup with him for refills is entirely voluntary.

Xu Zhixing often said in a serious tone: "Shen Tongguang, what's the matter with you? I won't do it after I finish speaking, so stand over and watch carefully."

He would also say in a helpless tone: "I don't do the final question, just draw a picture of a villain on the paper. What's wrong? Take it here and let me have a look...the drawing is quite interesting, what's next?...Next time for the exam Painting? Shen Tongguang, don't make me mad."

He occasionally asked Shen Tongguang in a very soft and soft tone, is there enough money in the meal card?Is that guy still looking for you?Feel free to talk to your teacher if you have any questions.

At that time, Shen Tongguang couldn't bear other people's kindness to him, as if his whole heart was frozen and soaked in hot water, it hurt and itched, so he could only hang his head down and shake hard, desperately holding back tears.

The most memorable one was the summer vacation in the third year of senior high school. The heat was unbearable. Xu Zhixing went home with him from the train to the bus. With his achievements, I can assure you that he will be admitted to C University."

Xu Zhixing was the first person who knew that he wanted to learn painting.

At that time, Shen Tongguang felt ashamed and inferior, and almost casually mentioned it while chatting, but Xu Zhixing treated it very seriously.

It was beyond his imagination that the situation would develop to such an extent - it was simply a fantasy for a child of his family to study art in ten miles and eight villages.

Hearing the deafening name of the school, Shen's parents looked at each other, still silently knocking off the dry mud on the soles of their shoes, neither of them said a word.

"In terms of money," Xu Zhixing said in a low voice, slowly but firmly, "I can help him."

That day, the bus to the train station was sluggish, and the time seemed to be stretched for a long time. Xu Zhixing talked to him a lot.

It turned out that Xu Zhixing, who was so gentle and reasonable, was as gray, out of place, and embarrassed as him when he was a student. Because he lost his father at a very young age, his mother could only lend him money to finish high school, and he was forced to study for free at the university. .

Xu Zhixing looked sideways at the countryside scenery outside the window, and said lightly, "At that time, I wished so much that there would be someone who could help me."

He bought a complete set of painting tools for Shen Tongguang, paid for classes, and planned for the college entrance examination, without mentioning anything in return.

In the last semester of high school, Shen Tongguang went to Kunming for training.In the second week, he hadn't paid the accommodation fee. Xu Zhixing told the team leader several times that it would be tomorrow, but tomorrow and tomorrow, he still didn't get a penny.

The teacher who led the team had no choice but to explain the situation to Shen Tongguang: if he didn’t pay the fee, he could only check him out.

That night, Shen Tongguang was so nervous that he tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. He called Xu Zhixing bravely, but he was too embarrassed to say that he was still a student after all, so he couldn't open his mouth to talk about money, so he had to ask him how he was doing clumsily, feeling guilty and worried. , I was so anxious that I was about to cry.

Xu Zhixing on the other end of the phone listened quietly, breathing deeply, and laughed shortly after a long time: "What are you afraid of? I'll hand it in to you in a while, go to sleep."

When he was about to hang up, Xu Zhixing suddenly stopped him: "Shen Tongguang."

Shen Tongguang hurriedly held the microphone back to his ear: "Teacher?"

"... Your future achievements will definitely impress me," Xu Zhixing said in a hoarse voice, as if he was smoking a cigarette, "I'll wait and see."

In fact, everything in the world is traceable like a puzzle, because the whole picture cannot be seen in the process of putting it together, and the details are naturally ignored.

At that time, Xu Zhixing was standing alone and helpless in front of his mother's heart bypass operation room. Shen Tongguang didn't know about this until a long, long time later.

They had been separated for a few months for the school entrance examination and joint entrance examination. They each had their own life paths. The most communication was problem solving. Xu Zhixing sent him school materials and some words of encouragement.

Shen Tongguang was very happy when he returned to school to sprint for review.

Counting down one hundred days, eighty days, fifty days... During that time, he was busy and fulfilling. He occasionally noticed that Xu Zhixing was looking at him with complicated eyes. Shen Tongguang immediately became sad.

There was nothing he could do for Xu Zhixing, so he could only devote himself to studying and painting.

At the beginning of June, the graduation ceremony was held in the third year of high school, and Shen Tongguang's parents couldn't come. Xu Zhixing picked out a bouquet of flowers for him, including sunflowers, golden chrysanthemums, and thousand-day reds, which were dazzling and brilliant.

The graduation ceremony was quite restless. Someone tore up books and threw them down in the corridor, and countless pieces of paper were scattered around.Shen Tongguang walked through the family taking pictures and celebrating, looked around blankly, and suddenly saw him waving at him at the corner of the teaching building, his eyes lit up, and he ran over.

The lush green ivy climbed up the wall, and hundreds of leaves swayed in the wind. Shen Tongguang took the flowers from him, said thank you happily, then tiptoed, and hugged Xu Zhixing who was in a neat suit.

"Teacher," the young man sat on his shoulder contentedly, as if everything was complete, with a brisk tone, "I like you."

He liked Xu Zhixing, even before he knew the word 'gay'.

How could he not be tempted? The three words Xu Zhixing are his teacher, brother, and god that he admires.

"Thank you." Xu Zhixing squeezed his thin shoulders with a light smile and said, "Please don't leave the final question empty."

Soon, the college entrance examination was over, and he was no longer his student.

Shen Tongguang was admitted to C University without disappointment, and got 130 points in mathematics. As for whether he did the final question or not, only he knew.

Shen Tong didn't go home during the summer vacation, but worked part-time at a hotel in the county to earn tuition fees. On weekends, he went to the library with Xu Zhixing. When the university started, they were together.

Many things in the middle came naturally, Xu Zhixing resigned from his job in the county seat and successfully got a job in No. [-] Middle School in City A.

Together they started a new life in a new city.On weekends, Shen Tongguang occasionally stayed at Xu Zhixing's house. At that time, he discovered that Xu Zhixing would use the computer very late, as if he was playing some kind of poker, and sometimes even stayed up all night on weekdays, smoking one cigarette after another.

At that time, Shen Tongguang’s world was small and transparent. He carried his drawing board to class every day, and stayed with Xu Zhixing when he went out of school on Friday night. Although the Internet economy was developing rapidly, the stock market dived, retail investors bought bottoms, speculated on futures, P2P… these words It is far, far away from Shen Tongguang.

Xu Zhixing was very kind to him. For a while, he bought him a lot of gifts, expensive sneakers, watches, brushes and paints. Shen Tongguang was panicked and at a loss. He had never heard of some famous brands, so he had no way to doubt Xu Zhixing. Your salary may not be able to pay for those things at all.

In the summer vacation of his freshman year, he earned 1 yuan by teaching sketching as a substitute class, and he gave Xu Zhixing all the money, but Xu Zhixing didn't take it seriously at all.

In Shen Tongguang's notebook, there is a very clear account. He spent more than 3 yuan on Xu Zhixing before and after the art exam, and he must pay it off before he can rest assured.

The track of life moves forward smoothly, but suddenly one day, the train derailed without warning.

When Shen Tongguang was in class, he received a call from the police, who asked him if he knew Xu Zhixing. He said yes, but the other party didn't elaborate on it later, and only asked him to go to Jinyu Building as soon as possible.

He started shaking after hanging up the phone, ignoring the uproar from the professor and classmates, and rushed out of the classroom with a blank mind.

What he saw was Xu Zhixing who was covered in a white cloth in a pool of blood, not in human form.

Xu Zhixing committed suicide.

Xu Zhixing... is dead?

Xu Zhixing who gave him hot buns and soy milk in the morning, Xu Zhixing who drove him to school, and Xu Zhixing who was going to arrive at No. [-] Middle School in City A at eight o'clock on time to teach mathematics to senior three, jumped off the building?

why?

Can anyone tell him why?

Blackened blood flowed over the soles of his shoes, someone pulled the forbidden yellow strips around him, someone raised a camera to take pictures of him, and someone was talking loudly, Shen Tongguang didn't know anything.

The pain degraded all senses, and the sweltering air of midsummer wrapped him tightly with a strong bloody smell. He had already forgotten how to speak, and he knelt down to hug Xu Zhixing with cold limbs, and a horrifying cry burst out of his throat, One sound, sad like a dying beast.

The next day, the front page of City A’s newspaper featured this photo, with the headline “The 31-year-old male teacher of No. [-] Middle School committed suicide, or former students cried because of inability to repay huge debts.”

At that time, Xu Zhixing couldn’t keep enough money due to his mother’s surgery fees and Shen Tongguang’s art exam fees. He had no relatives, and no friends in the county could easily spend hundreds of thousands. The stress of repayment goes to contact MIT.

Those who fall into this kind of bottomless pit with pornography, gambling and drugs, are lucky, some people get the bottom line, stop their hands in time, hurt their muscles and bones and lose some skin. Crush until the bones and flesh are turned into mud.

Xu Zhixing is the latter type. When he wins, he spends money retaliatingly, and when he loses, he recklessly wants to win it back. The game of numbers and luck makes him addicted. Those money without touch become pure electronic symbols. bear any consequences.

I didn’t borrow any more, and I went to gamble again. I always felt that I could turn against the wind. In the end, I used the loan to support the loan, and the snowball got bigger and bigger.

At that time, Xu Zhixing's mother rushed to City A overnight by car. The first second she saw Shen Tongguang, everyone didn't react. She had already slapped Shen Tongguang's face away.

"Desolate!" She roared and scolded, "You let him pay for your education, what shame do you have! You killed my son!"

A few policemen went up to stop her, but Shen Tongguang's ears were buzzing, and his nosebleeds flowed hotly and violently across his lips. He was convulsed all over, and trembling, he knelt down and said, "Auntie, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

In the end, Xu's mother only had the strength to collapse on the ground and cry loudly. Shen Tongguang kept kneeling, and no one could pull him up. Such thin shoulders seemed to be completely broken in the next moment.

I don't know how long it has passed, the people watching the excitement dispersed around, and Shen Tongguang's legs were so numb that he couldn't feel anything, he spoke softly but firmly said: "Auntie, I will pay off the teacher's debt, I will pay off all of it of."

He knew all too well that those debts would crush him.However, his life was built on the teacher's life.

The author says:

Warm reminder: When facing temptation, everyone must be cautious and make choices that are worthy of those who love themselves?