doomed in dream

In fact, this is not the first time that Chen Jiuqi realized that Qu Fengyang's understanding and attitude towards law and justice seemed to have changed a lot compared to a few years ago.

Perhaps as a lawyer, to manipulate and use the law, taking advantage of the situation without being in awe, is the "growth" that can even kick many gravel obstacles on the career path——

However, it is the "but" that needs to be emphasized again even though the dash can indicate a turning point, it is the "but" that Chen Jiuqi has realized many times but has not said a word before and fooled himself that there is no such thing, but she will eventually face it, but she I like it, it should be the previous attitude.

In addition, disease and death ended the oppression of the entire youthful patriarchal image and looked around at a loss, and because the former chose money between dreams and money and finally lost his professional beliefs, Qu Fengyang, who had nowhere to rely on, would choose what to fill Fill her void?

Of course she is still the one who is afraid of being rejected, afraid of being abandoned, she is afraid of feeling oppressed, afraid of too strong emotional expression—of course Chen Jiuqi will not give her strong emotional expression now—

But she doesn't hate such people in essence, on the contrary, her needs are determined and loved without turning back.

She needs this passion to affirm that she is worthy of love, and only then will the void in her heart be filled.

What Chen Jiuqi read "she only has you" is precisely because, now, her strong emotions have almost dissipated with the collapse of those two things, and she has to take the initiative to pursue something to fill this huge void, and she Choose love with Chen Jiuqi——

Of course she would choose this, because compared with the uncertainties in the world, this is the most certain thing she has experienced, and it is also the choice with the lowest expectation of being abandoned after being obtained.

She is certain that she is loved, and that she loves.

When she took the initiative, she would naturally realize that the previous avoidance was out of touch with her true emotions, because she certainly knew that if she really didn't love, she didn't need to declare indifference and refuse to be restrained, and repeatedly emphasized to prevent turning back, she would have already Chic disappeared as soon as he left.

It shouldn't have been a surprise, Chen Jiuqi himself can't say that he has given up his desire for control and security, so it would be a logical thing for Qu Fengyang to "become better in the worldly sense" easily ?

Ah, but really, I realized that I don't like her now, so how come I'm still here to analyze and find the logic of her behavior?

With complicated thoughts, Chen Jiuqi took Qu Fengyang to skip class again. This time he didn't choose the rooftop because the weather was getting hotter and the sun couldn't stay longer. Instead, he took people to the parking lot on the first floor.

"This parking lot is as big as our university's." Qu Fengyang touched the back of his head with his free hand, not knowing how much Chen Jiuqi had an opinion on her current situation.

"Have you ever considered changing your job?" It was really difficult to speak.

Qu Fengyang blinked his eyes.

"Uncle is gone, and you actually don't have anything to subsidize the family, so you can stop making complaints." Beat around the bush.

Qu Fengyang was dumbfounded, but his answer to the question was still sincere: "Yes, but the growth cycle of a lawyer is already long, and it is not easy to transform."

Lawyer is indeed a "long-term" career, with the same master's degree, Chen Jiuqi joined the investment bank at the age of 23 when he returned from abroad, and Qu Fengyang was 24 or 25 before he graduated from law and started working.

He also performed well in his own position. Chen Jiuqi was promoted every year and stepped into the middle level at the age of 26, while Qu Fengyang was still an assistant lawyer at that time.

Similarly, taking advantage of the outstanding performance of the department, Chen Jiuqi made great strides, and the management team had an annual salary of several million. Qu Fengyang was still a third-year lawyer with many years of experience.

And because lawyers are gradually becoming more professional and refined, Qu Fengyang has spent the past few years in non-law litigation, and even said it was just insurance law. If she is allowed to return to criminal litigation, she will have to go back for so many years. When she was a teenager, she could no longer compete with the young lawyers who had just graduated, and she would even face the crisis of being eliminated from the market.

"Well, in fact, you have room for trial and error now." He hinted to himself that in a sense, Chen Jiuqi's disposable income is also qualified to be a donor, but those who are forced to work overtime to entertain social animals can only pay the donor's money, But it's hard to have the leeway to enjoy it.

Qu Fengyang understood, and she wasn't embarrassed, but she didn't have much motivation: "Then I don't have time, how can we stay together for a long time?"

She is very sober, lost her enthusiasm and awe, what else do she have to do with her strong sense of mission, responsibility and responsibility, it is too heavy, even if she turns her head back to pick up her original intention now, is there any hope?

She believes that the only person to fill her void is the person in front of her, so naturally it is the first priority.

"So, don't you like it?" Qu Fengyang realized later, but it can't be regarded as "consciousness", it's more like connecting the previous things half right and half wrong, "You seem to want me to go, uh, I'm not very Understood, you want me to return to Legal Aid and insist that the crime and punishment be appropriate?"

what else?He couldn't keep playing charades anymore, and he couldn't really hold it in his heart to form a grudge, and he couldn't bear it anymore, so he walked away. In the end, Chen Jiuqi could only tell the truth about the final result he had guessed.

After Qu Fengyang heard it, she really felt it. She spoke for a while before saying, "So that's how it is."

Then he quickly gave affirmation: "It seems so, it makes sense, Jiujiu is always more sensitive, but at least I understand one thing, Jiujiu is not going to give up on me now."

"Of course." After Chen Jiuqi's words, there was anger. He wanted to say something to comfort Qu Fengyang, but he couldn't find anything to say when he got angry. Probably his thoughts were a little messed up, and Qu Fengyang had already calmed her down first. yourself.

"Would Jiujiu think that this kind of love is not pure enough?"

"How did you 'interview' me?" Chen Jiuqi didn't really want to discuss philosophical issues in the game, but because she was rude to discuss real career issues in the game first, so she should answer, but she likes it Answer with a question, "How do you define the purity of love? Tang Xianzu said, 'Love does not know where it comes from, but it is deeply in love', can it be regarded as a model of purity? But at worst, the protagonist in the book is just a fool who just sees the color. insect."

"Then, is it purer and more noble to like outstanding character and outstanding ability rather than beautiful appearance?" Chen Jiuqi saw that Qu Fengyang showed some agreement with this question as a "rhetorical question", so he sped up his speech a little Negative, "No, I like virtuous people, the inner logic is that they can help me manage the house and tolerate my shortcomings in life; I like self-improvement, because I don't bother me with everything and leave space for each other; gentle and understanding people can provide emotional value; career A strong hand makes a household rich. All these traits, like beauty, serve different needs."

"But those advertised are always asking for nothing."

"You've said it's a 'flag', so you can't accept it in your heart."

Chen Jiuqi couldn't help but patted her head. To be honest, compared with the "evenly matched love" that is also often advertised, although the two of them are close in terms of professional IQ and other aspects, Chen Jiuqi is very close to Qu Feng. Yang is still mixed with a lot of affectionate emotions.

"Then what is Jiujiu asking for?"

Chen Jiuqi didn't finish what he wanted to say, so he didn't intend to be led away by Qu Fengyang's question: "Let's talk later—do you remember the love triangle theory? Passion, intimacy and commitment, the physical part of sex We are not lacking, the promise you once owed me is now there, the intimacy that was too hot for you is now down to warmth, anyway, it is a perfect love from a theoretical point of view; in practice, we are really getting along Joy and smile added. So, I will not give up on you now."

"But that doesn't mean I'll never give up on you, if you lose those qualities that built our intimacy and commitment, then I might stop loving you.

For example, your integrity and perseverance in the law is one of the cornerstones of my trust in you, and it is also what I need, the anchor that catches me from getting lost on the edge of the principles of dealing with people. "

Qu Fengyang smiled. Her smile is much more natural now than before. She said that she believed Chen Jiuqi's statement subjectively, but she couldn't help but question: "Does a moral model like you need an anchor like me?"

"I emphasize it every day, because I often walk by the river and face the huge temptation of Vanity Fair. It is really possible for a person like me to cross the bottom line with a reputation, and I know how much I am against it. Possibly.” It’s a different kind of “only state officials are allowed to set fires, and the people are not allowed to light lamps.” Chen Jiuqi can go around the edge to threaten, but if Qu Fengyang uses the handle of Paul’s company as a bargaining chip to solve other injustices instead of Chen Jiuqi would have a stronger sense of crisis if she found a problem and handed it over to the law. After all, if the anchor was not stable, she would not be able to enter the sea with confidence.

"I see." Qu Fengyang raised his right hand two fingers to swear, and then suddenly thought of something, "Speaking of it, there is a saying that love is a kind of ability, which can make the other person reap happiness and growth. From this perspective, my ability may be It’s just sprouted and still very young, so even I need to thank you all the more for helping me with your abilities.”

"However," she changed the subject, "Does Jiujiu really understand the psychology of love?"

"Then I have to mention my counselor, she said that the essence of her work is not to change me, but to provide some paths for me to use when I want to change.

Although, at that time, I thought that I probably didn't have such a time, and I didn't even bother to use them to alleviate the so-called trauma, but fortunately, my brain did not waste the consultation money to write down the methodology, and now it is useful. "