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31. I finally couldn't bear to come to you, but you still just hugged me and refused to say anything

Even though he was experiencing an indescribable sadness like this, another heavy pain came like a gust of wind.

Less than three months after coming to Shanghai to study, Lan Tian received a call from her mother asking her to go back. She never thought that the farewell from her father at the beginning was actually the farewell between Lan Tian and her father.End-stage liver cancer completely took her father's life.Mom called her when Dad was unconscious, which is what Dad meant.

Lan Tian felt that she had never understood her father well when she grew up. She left so suddenly, and before she had time to show her results to her father, the disease had been lurking on her father for three years. On the day she left, she never had a word with her father.

Mother's temple hair turned white faster, which awakened Lan Tian to a better understanding of life. When she thought that she should be stronger than her mother, she pulled her away from her father's grave. She knew that she was no longer a child, and she would take on the responsibility of taking care of her mother. .Losing her father's pension and her mother's lack of income, financial constraints made her understand that she would have to work to earn money through college.

The most important love in her life left her, and the sentimentality spread even more heavily in her life. Her mood was extremely bad, and the feeling of confusion blurred her goals in life. Her ideals and aspirations were numb by grief one after another Practicing swords desperately in a corner of the campus, she fell to the point where she was bruised. She could not forgive herself for not understanding her father's condition. How did the parting when she first came to Shanghai to study in university become her farewell to her father? Things she couldn't do, and things she couldn't think of at all.

Mother's phone calls began to increase, and she repeatedly told Lan Tian not to think about making money. Dad had already prepared for her the money after finishing college, but Lan Tian felt even more distressed by the loneliness and burden of her mother's life alone, and began to pay attention to how to earn money. .

For a while, Lan Tian didn't write to Sha Ying.

For a while, because Lan Fang was worried about Lan Tian, ​​she asked the school to transfer Lan Tian to the already vacant lower bunk in their dormitory.

The sadness lasted for a while. At noon on Saturday, when she, Lan Fang and Ye Yu went out to buy something, at the gate of the campus, Lan Tian saw Sha Ying standing at the door with a backpack on her back. Looking at them walking out, Lan Tian was moved. Smiling with tears in her eyes.

The past always has to pass, and it is difficult to welcome and face the future. It is this feeling that cannot be let go that makes Lan Tian feel enlightened.

He took Sha Ying's backpack, took Sha Ying's hands, put them down, and held her face again, kept looking at her, looking affectionately, finally still have this concern, don't suddenly disappear... In this world just like...

Sha Ying looked closely at him, her eyes were full of distress for this person, and she called out the name she thought about day and night: "God..."

"Shusha...Shusha...Shusha..."

Calling in a low voice... Tears are rolling... Holding her face, afraid that she will melt in the palm of my hand... What's wrong now... Why do I always feel lost... Feeling nothing...

Sha Ying covered her trembling hands: "Shusha is here... Shasha is here..." Her trembling hands hurt Sha Ying's heart...

She looked at her rustle vaguely...there were too many tears this time...

"How can you be so haggard?"

Lan Tian shook his head, tears rolled down his eyes and immediately hugged the girl into his arms...

"Xiao Tian is fine..."

"I've been waiting for you...but you didn't even tell me about your father...you couldn't write a single point in so many letters, and you didn't even write a letter in the last half month...why do you embarrass yourself like this? "Hands always want to seep into this person's body...God knows how much she loves this person...

Feel the blue sky shaking his head on his shoulders...

"Which day will you say that you have something to do? My God... Shasha can fight with you... anything can be fought together... Shasha has told you too many times, why can't you hear your heart? !"

"rustle……"

"Shusha has never gone far, Shasha... I have been waiting... Waiting for you to be so weak that maybe... you are willing to say something to Shasha..."

Shasha, who looked at her again... couldn't say anything else, but Sha Ying said one after another...

"Do you know how much I miss you..." She gripped Lan Tian's clothes tightly...

"I miss you as well……"

Let go of the hand that was holding onto her clothes, and move onto Lan Tian's face, half of the thin cheeks must be Sha Ying...

There is... but an indescribable torture.

Looking into her watery eyes: "Shusha... are you tired? Is it difficult to buy a train ticket? Is it a sleeper? Is the ticket expensive?"

"I--"

Just as he was about to continue talking, Lan Fang and Ye Yu who were beside him stepped forward: "Shusha."

"Sister Fang, heh..." She smiled wearily.

Lan Fang took Sha Ying's hands: "Shasha, I didn't expect that you would really want to come here. I heard that the train is very crowded. Fortunately, you can still find our school. Xiaotian may blame me for tormenting you. Remember to tell me Good word."

"How can you say it's a toss, she won't blame Sister Fang."

"That's true," turned her eyes to Lan Tian's face, "Maybe it's too late for her to thank me, and I think she's very unhappy here. I think it's also related to you, huh... By the way, Ye Yu, I introduced it to you in the letter. gone."

Sha Ying looked at Ye Yu: "Sister Yu? Heh... hello."

"You, hello."

Sure enough, she was a beautiful girl like a fairy, and Ye Yu stuttered with emotion from looking at her water-cut eyes. Moreover, a blue sky and a Sha Ying completely broke Ye Yu's self-confidence in her height. And her voice...it's so nice, and with the dialogue just now where there was no one else there, Ye Yu stared blankly at Sha Ying, whom Lan Fang had mentioned too many times.

"Heh...Xiaoyu? How is it? Rusha is beautiful, right?" Seeing that Ye Yu must have been stunned by Sha Ying in front of her, Lan Fang finally breathed a sigh of relief. She had never boasted about anything.

"Beautiful, Shasha, I've heard Fang talking about you a long time ago. You are indeed more beautiful than the photos."

"Heh..." Still smiling tiredly, still so beautiful that people can't turn their eyes, "Sister Yu, where are you going?"

"I was about to go out to buy some daily necessities, but I didn't expect to meet you at the door."

Lan Fang went on to say: "Seeing that you only talk to Xiaotian, you think we are transparent. You came at the right time, remember to help me comfort her. After my uncle passed away, she became even more depressed Come."

"……Oh."

"Shusha?" Lan Fang noticed that Sha Ying seemed to be weak.

"I'm fine, I'll comfort her."

Lan Tian, ​​who had calmed down a lot, didn't want her sister to say a lot about Lan Tian in front of Sha Ying, so she took Sha Ying's hand and said, "Sister, why don't you go with Xiaoyu, Sha Sha must be very tired, I want to take her back Eat and rest in the dormitory.”

Ye Yu hurriedly replied, "Well, okay, then I'll go with Fang, and I won't disturb your reunion with Shasha after a long absence. By the way, there is no one in the dormitory, huh..." After finishing speaking, his eyes collided with Sha Ying again. , are carefully looking at each other.

For Ye Yu, the meeting between Sha Ying and Lan Tian at the school gate must have a story she doesn't know. She held Lan Fang's hand, looked back twice at the back that was walking away, and the scene of holding hands, How can a simple friendship be interpreted, she kept thinking about the conversation between those two people and their closeness.Lan Fang next to her, does she know something about Sha Ying and Lan Tian? If she knows, what does she think? If she doesn’t know, does she not want to know, or is she really kind enough to see nothing come out?

As soon as Lan Tian closed the door in the dormitory, Sha Ying turned around and threw herself into Lan Tian's chest, burrowing her face into Lan Tian's neck to find a place further inside...

Her temperature and her gentleness have not been seen for a long time. I can't resist and I can only hug her tightly... Help her find a place that is more suitable for me to cling to: "Is the train crowded?"

"I think you... such a big thing happened, you didn't mention anything in your letter, even if you are a friend, you should let me know."

The hug and her voice that I have been familiar with and missed for a long time, I really have no scruples at this moment. She has to hug her.

"I'm fine. Seeing you makes me feel better."

Is she really good?She obviously needs her, and she obviously can't live without her.

"It's just that if you buy a ticket and squeeze the train like this, I will worry that you will be in danger on the road."

"I'm not afraid, I will be careful, I don't care about anyone, I just want to see you in Shanghai as soon as possible."

How should I answer her words, gently push Sha Ying away, look at this face that is going crazy thinking about it, and look at it for a long time...

"You stay here, and I'll go to the cafeteria to buy food right away." Pulling Sha Ying to sit beside her bed, she went to cut lemon slices for Sha Ying to soak in water.

Sha Ying followed Lan Tian and hugged Lan Tian's back: "It's hard to change, isn't it?"

"what?"

"Oh, I mean your drinking habit."

"Do you want to let it go?"

"Of course, according to your proportion."

She turned around and said, "You can drink it directly." Her rustling was so close, and she still had eyes that wanted to pierce Lan Tian's soul, and her infatuation remained undiminished.

Sit on the side of the bed again and look at each other... Mistakes can only be for a moment, but always look at this face that will never be forgotten, and you will clearly know that you really love her and don't make mistakes.

"I'm going to buy food right now, and I won't bring the key." She put the key in Sha Ying's palm.

"I'm not very hungry, buy less, I want to wash my face, can I use your towel?"

"I'll show it to you. The cafeteria in our school is doing much better than when we were in high school. When I come back, I will be there soon."

Sha Ying is holding this bunch of keys with her thumbs, on which is a small model of a sword she gave Lan Tian when she was in high school.

She once watched Sha Ying breathing unevenly, she couldn't take that step even though she hadn't let go of anything, how long could she last for a person who only liked one flavor for so many years...

Lan Tian held the enamel basin all the way, met many people, surpassed many people, she had never shown such positive urgency on campus, and she still had a faint smile on her face, which made many people who knew her want to I looked at her more, and when I wanted to ask, she was already far away.

Back in the dormitory, there was a chicken leg for each person in the rice bowl, but suddenly two pairs of eyes looked at the chicken leg together...

So sad……

In those three years, how much I have accumulated... I feel that I can't change this taste in my life...

Sha Ying's eyes turned red too quickly, she sat on Lan Tian's lap and was hugged by Lan Tian...

Her voice changed into crying bitterly on Lan Tian...

"...you say... say... say it, okay?"

Tears choked up uncontrollably, she only hugged her rustling...

Before Lan Tian could reply, she bit on Lan Tian's neck... Is it really that bad?It's so hard to have two hearts...

The two pairs of distressed eyes looking at each other, the thin lips of the other who can't speak the second word, have not adapted to the days of not being able to see each other...

"How's the weather in Beijing?"

Just after finishing speaking, it was Sha Ying who put a piece of meat into Lan Tian's mouth: "The weather in Beijing, someday you can experience it yourself, okay? Sha Sha is waiting for you."

Chewing on this piece of meat...

"No matter what you think, don't let Sister Fang worry about you." When she said that, she put another mouthful of rice on Lan Tian's mouth and waited for Lan Tian to open her mouth.

"Why doesn't Sasha eat?"

"Take this bite, and then I'll eat it all. I don't need to be weak."

Looking at her rustling, her heart was stung, she opened her mouth to eat the meal, and heard Shaying continue to say: "Don't lose weight, Shasha will listen to Xiaotian, and Xiaotian will listen to Xiaotian, okay? Now that I’m here, since I’m powerless to change anything, since that’s the way it is, don’t torture yourself anymore, I don’t want to change Xiaotian, she must still be the one who ranks first in the exam every year, tennis, dunk, and can make the impossible possible, okay No matter where I am... Wherever you are... No matter what we are doing... Be strong... If... If you really love home... Write the letter forever... Send it to me... I... ...always waiting..."

"Shusha..." She may not be able to complete the sentence, even though there are many words on her lips, she still shakes her head gently...

Sha Ying put down the spoon, and wiped away the trembling tears in Lan Tian's eyes with two thumbs: "But Sha Sha is not strong, can Xiao Tian show Sha Sha a demonstration?"

Always looking at each other...never tired of looking at each other...

"Let's play tennis later, Shasha hasn't played for half a year, do you still remember how you let me?"

The author has something to say:

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