有罪

It is raining in Qi City today.

Coming down from the highway intersection, it was foggy, and the sky and the asphalt road were different shades of lead.Yan Mingyang drove a little slower, on the way he caught a glimpse of Shen Zui leaning on the back of the chair and falling asleep.

"Are you there?" Shen Zui didn't sleep soundly, and when he opened his eyes, he saw that he had already entered the city.

"Yeah." Yan Mingyang said, "Are you hungry?"

Shen Zui looked out the window, the two sides of the road were neither familiar nor unfamiliar, and he couldn't see any changes.

His only memory of this city is the summer vacation with Yan Mingyang.

"I kind of want to eat the rice noodle shop in front of your school." Shen Zui said.

Yan Mingyang was a little surprised, and after being stunned for a second, he suddenly realized that this was reasonable.

"I don't know if it will be open today." Yan Mingyang still remembered the road from here to Qishi No. [-] Middle School, "Let's go and see first."

Shen Zui pursed his lips and didn't speak any more.

The rice noodle shop is still open today, but the door is empty.The students are on winter vacation, and the traffic on this street has dropped sharply.

The boss is also very leisurely, so he just sits in the store and swipes his phone.

Yan Mingyang parked on the side of the road and pulled up the handbrake, "Shall I buy it for you?"

"No need," Shen Zui looked around, "There is no one there today."

Yan Mingyang didn't insist either.

"I still remember how you looked when you first came here." After getting off the car, Yan Mingyang stood outside the store door and looked up at the signboard.

"It was terribly hot that day. As soon as I got out of class, I saw you standing across the road."

Shen Zui stood side by side with Yan Mingyang.The light rain is misty, and it can't drench people, it only dazzles the eyes.

Shen Zui turned his head, Yan Mingyang's side face was no different from the one in his memory.

"It seems to be here." Yan Mingyang pointed.His eyes were deep, with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and the past in his memory was beautiful and subtle.

Shen Zui's Adam's apple rolled, and the moment he opened his mouth, his voice was almost wrong, "Come in...cough, let's go in."

"Why are you coughing?" Yan Mingyang frowned, reached out and touched his intoxicated face, "Isn't it cold?"

"I'm fine." Shen Drunk moved away without a trace, his voice was very low, "It's outside."

"Hey, the two of you are coming back from other places for the Chinese New Year. Are you an alumnus from No. [-] Middle School?" Seeing a visitor, the boss quickly put down his phone and got up, and said enthusiastically, "What do you want to eat?"

"Two bowls of beef and rice noodles." Yan Mingyang said while pulling out paper from the table, wiped the table and chairs, and then motioned for Shen Zui to sit down.

"I put less oil in my share, put more greens and coriander, no green onions." Shen Zui added in a soft voice, "Thank you."

Yan Mingyang didn't realize before that Shen Zui's voice is very nice, which is very different from others.

His tone was calm and his articulation was clear, perhaps because of his script skills.

"...Hey, okay." The boss seldom saw such an amazing person, so he was a little embarrassed for a while.He couldn't help but turned his head to look at Shen Zui one more time, and was suddenly taken aback.

Yan Mingyang hated seeing others staring at Shen Zui, so his brows tightened immediately.

Shen Zui remained calm, "What's wrong?"

"You..." The boss looked at Shen Zui, picked up the phone and poked it, and asked half-doubtly for a while, "Are you an actor?"

Chen Zui pursed his lips and revealed a slight smile, then nodded slightly, "Yes, go back to my hometown during the Chinese New Year."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! No wonder! You look different from ordinary people!"

"You are...the main character in that 'Heart Loss'! I saw it on the poster, and I bought a ticket to watch it with my wife and children on the first day of the day after tomorrow!"

"Then this is..." The boss turned his attention to Yan Mingyang again.

Yan Mingyang's heart jumped unconsciously, and he looked at Shen Zui nervously and tentatively.

"It's my brother." Shen Zui said nonchalantly.

Yan Mingyang's heart fell steadily, but he still showed a faint smile cooperatively.

"My brother used to go to Qishi No. [-] Middle School, and he often came here to eat." Shen Zui added.

"So that's the case!" The boss felt that this explanation was extremely reasonable.He laughed and said, "You two brothers are really... tsk, although they don't look that much alike, but they both look good!"

As the Chinese New Year is approaching, I saw a star again. The boss is in a good mood, and put a lot more rice noodles and beef.

Yan Mingyang paid attention to the intoxicated expression while eating, and raised his head from time to time.

"Is it tasty."

Intoxicated eating is too elegant, and will not make a sound.He nodded, picked up a few rice noodles and stuffed them into his mouth, "It tastes the same as back then."

Yan Mingyang looked quietly at Shen Zui, smiled, and lowered his head again.

Back then it was a complicated thing.All the best and darkest memories belong to that year.

The only thing that is certain is that the ones who stood there back then were the real Yan Mingyang and Shen Zui.

When I came out of the rice noodle shop, the rain stopped outside.It was getting dark, but the air was actually somewhat sunny.

Across a narrow road, Shen Zui saw that the photo column at the entrance of Qishi No. [-] Middle School seemed to have changed.

He remembered the photo of himself cutting Yan Mingyang with two knives, and he probably rebuilt the school as a whole.

"Want to visit your alma mater?" Shen Zui asked.

Yan Mingyang paused the hand holding the car keys, then shook his head and said casually, "No."

Shen Zui said again, "Maybe there is a photo of you on the honor roll at the door."

Yan Mingyang lowered his head and smiled, but the end of his eyes looked like he was about to cry.He stared at the other side for a moment, "No, I told them to withdraw."

"Withdrawn?" Shen Zui didn't realize it.He frowned, feeling in a trance.

After the separation, Yan Mingyang should be the same as himself, and his life is not very good.

"There's nothing you can't say." Seeing that he was intoxicated, Yan Mingyang stopped talking, and smiled calmly, "When I was in my third year of high school, Jian Ya almost replaced the recommendation spot."

Jiang Feng brushed the broken hair on his forehead, which was delicate and stable for adults.He puts one hand in his pocket, and the fragility when he pretends to be strong is a boy, a youth, and belongs to Xiaotu's memory.

Shen Zui was silent, and it took a long time before he spoke, "Jian Ya...doesn't look like this kind of person."

"It has nothing to do with her." Yan Mingyang pulled the corner of his mouth, "Her father was in power at the time, and the principal was rushing to curry favor."

The road is not smooth enough, and occasionally a thin layer of puddles gathers in the ups and downs, and the mirror surface reflects the sycamore-yellow street lamps.As a result, the world is stained with a soft filter, but the sight is even worse.

"Then what happened later." Shen Zui was in a daze, and a car passed in front of him.

"Professor Zhou," Yan Mingyang took a deep breath, "Do you still remember?"

Shen Zui was half in a trance, and nodded.

"It happened that he was in charge that year." Yan Mingyang's tone was much calmer, "He found out the problem, so he asked for my quota back."

As a listener, Shen Zui subconsciously expressed relief, "Fortunately, the result is good."

Unexpectedly, Yan Mingyang laughed out loud.The street is empty, only the sound of the wind is blowing, and the big red happy characters all over the street make the laughter especially cold and ironic.

"This incident taught me a truth." Yan Mingyang calmed down, his eyes became firm, "The reason why fairness and justice can be achieved is never because they are fair and just."

"It's just coincidence, luck - the person who has a greater say chooses it."

Yan Mingyang caressed his intoxicated and cool hair, "I worked hard just to—"

"For fairness and justice?" Shen Zui raised his eyes and asked.

Yan Mingyang shook his head casually and withdrew his hand.He raised his head slightly, and at the end of his eyes were scattered stars and the endless dark night, "In order to be the one who can decide whether fairness and justice should be abandoned or kept."

After Yan Mingyang finished speaking, he was intoxicated and silent for a moment, only to realize that he was not surprised, but still a little bit lost.

"That's why Professor Zhou said those things to you. He should feel sorry for you."

Yan Mingyang pursed his lips even thinner, his eyes were dark and sharp, "Then I can't turn back."

"Where do we live tonight?" Shen Zui didn't continue the topic just now.He was silent for a while, before finally asking the obvious question.

Shen Zui has no place to live in Qi City, but Yan Mingyang must have a house.

This is his home, the place where he was born, raised, and lived for more than ten years.In terms of length, Yan Mingyang has spent more than half of his life here.

"Let's stay in a hotel. We won't be able to stay at home for a long time." Yan Mingyang said.

"En." Shen Zui didn't say anything more.

Yan Mingyang finally became suspicious of Shen Zui's overly sensible non-inquiry.He asked, "Why don't you ask me, don't you have any relatives or friends here?"

Shen Zui glanced at Yan Mingyang.He thought to himself, if you Yan Mingyang can display half of your usual IQ, you should have guessed that I didn't ask, because I already knew it.

"Then I'll ask now." Shen Zui tilted his head, cooperating with the performance.

"My mother passed away early," Yan Mingyang obviously rehearsed countless times for this statement.But when he spoke, his voice was still a little trembling, as if shivered by the wind, "Father doesn't move around, let alone other relatives."

"Oh." Shen Zui seemed to have heard a very ordinary thing, and did not express any surprise or pity for it.He sat on the curb, looked up at the sky, and suddenly said coldly, "I don't know if Ah Xue has been released from prison."

Yan Mingyang stood in a daze for a few seconds before realizing that Ah Xue was the intoxicated biological mother.

Thousands of laughter leaks late, and the worry is hidden from the outside.

Quietly Lishiqiao people do not know, a star is like the moon for a long time.

New Year is coming.

"Tomorrow," Yan Mingyang sat down next to Shen Zui unnaturally, "accompany me to visit mother's grave."

Shen Zui looked at the sky quietly, and hummed lightly.

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The poem at the end of the article comes from the first poem of "Two Poems on New Year's Eve at Guisi", written by Huang Jingren of the Qing Dynasty.