vulgar

Zhou Si's cigarette is not easy to smoke.

He entered the stairwell with his front foot, but before the fire door closed, he was blocked by a pair of hands, and Cheng Yi followed him in.The door was closed, blocking out the light.

"You want one too? It seems that you haven't learned anything good abroad."

Zhou Si glanced at him, opened his mouth pretending to be relaxed, took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, and flicked one out.

"And Mr. Zhou, let's be each other." Cheng Yi choked, and took out the cigarette from the cigarette case.

He felt uncomfortable, sullen and sour.One is because Zhou Si and the others hid the matter from him, and the other is because Cheng's father doesn't have much time left for him.

Even though he knew that a person's life is so long, consisting of twenty three to five years, when he first heard such a time limit, he would still resist.What's more, this word is still used on his respectful and loving father.

"I don't have a lighter." Cheng Yi said.

"I have. I'll give you some."

Zhou Si took out the lighter from his trouser pocket, lit it and handed it to Cheng Yi, the flame illuminated half of Cheng's face in the dark stairwell.The expression on that face was extraordinarily dignified, which Zhou Si had hardly seen before, and Zhou Si's heart hung up following the look.

Cheng Yi's cigarette was lit quickly, sparks danced on the cigarette butt, Cheng Yi took a puff of the cigarette, blurring Zhou Si's vision.

"I..." Zhou Si hesitated to speak.

Cheng Yi glanced at him, with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and he said in a commanding tone: "You smoke your cigarette, so you can finish it."

Zhou Si did as he did, lowered his head and lit a cigarette for himself, and he took a sharp puff.

"Cough cough."

Zhou Si lowered his head to look at the cigarette, it was obviously the brand he had been smoking all the time, and he had smoked it when he came by the night train just now, why now he suddenly felt that the smoke was very choking?I don't know whether it was the smoke that choked people, or the things that came to my mouth choked my throat.

Cheng Yi leaned his back against the door, folded his arms, as if he had calmed down suddenly, and also like the eerie calm before the eruption of the volcano.He was not in a high mood and spoke coldly.

"You smoke slowly, I'm not in a hurry."

He is not in a hurry, nor is he in a hurry.Cheng's father was still in the rescue, but there was no result. The only thing he could refer to was the phone call that Zhou Si had just made to his doctor classmate in the corridor.The students gave unoptimistic answers.

He didn't say clearly that he would prepare for the funeral, but the implication was almost the same.

Zhou Si didn't know how to tell Cheng Yi about this. Cheng Yi just returned to China, so Zhou Si should tell him that your father won't live long?

How cruel.

Zhou Si couldn't tell.

"Ah."

Zhou Si really planned to smoke slowly, at least until he figured out a way.He and Cheng Yi haven't seen each other for several years, and his way of dealing with problems has long been different from before.

If he was before, he would follow Cheng Yi's emotions, and Cheng Yi's retreat would be so aggressive that he would say something beyond his head; but now he has to speak his head, and he needs to give his brain some time.So with a cigarette in his hand, he sat down directly on the stairs next to the door, and he sat up on the second step, so that he could observe Cheng Yi conveniently.

He put his hands on his knees, and the ash fell directly on the ground between his feet.

Time passed slowly, and the two remained silent for a long time.

Unlike the smoke rings of cigarettes, the low-pressure atmosphere cannot dissipate in a cramped space, so it can only linger incessantly.Cheng Yi raised his hand to disperse the smoke, but did not dispel the heaviness.The two had no choice but to smoke the cigarettes in their hands one after another, silently worrying.

The cigarette in Cheng Yi's hand was not smoked as fast as Zhou Si, he didn't smoke much, and he wasn't used to the strong smell of this kind of smoke.Unlike Zhou Si, Zhou Si smoked very quickly, reaching the bottom in three or four puffs. He pinched the cigarette, stepped on the cigarette butt on the sole of his foot, and rubbed it with his heel before suddenly leaning back on the steps. He looked up at the the person opposite him.

Zhou Si said in a deep voice, "Cheng Yi."

Cheng Yiying: "Yes."

Zhou Si looked at the soot under his feet, and kicked to disperse the ashes under his feet.

"Not good news, do you want to hear it too?"

When Zhou Si uttered these words, it was as if a hammer had been dropped on Cheng Yi's heart. When the hammer fell, it was pronounced that a person's "life is not long".

The atmosphere was still as calm as before, just suppressing people and preventing people from breathing, even more breathless than the coastal weather.Cheng Yi's cigarette lingered between his fingers, and the sparks on the cigarette burned his hands, so he subconsciously shook it away.

Seeing his movements, Zhou Si wanted to grab his hand: "Is it hot?"

The urgency in his eyes was an urgency that Cheng Yi couldn't understand.Zhou Si was worried about him, but all he could think about was his father.Cheng Yi's hand was still held in Zhou Si's hands, but the expression in his eyes seemed to have been separated a long time ago, as if he didn't know the pain.

Zhou Si subconsciously stood up and hugged him into his arms.He gently hugged Cheng Yi into his arms, and did nothing but simply embrace Cheng Yi.

Bad news!

What bad news can there be for their family?There is only one news related to the old man that can be related to "birth, old age, sickness, death, love and hatred"-farewell.

"Is it bad news? Brother Si?" When Cheng Yi was wrapped in warmth, he seemed to have received the meaning of Zhou Si's words, so he confirmed again.

Zhou Si nodded regretfully: "Yes."

"Is it bad?"

"very bad."

"Can I not listen? Yes, can you listen to me?"

"can."

Zhou Si answered this question very simply, he can help Cheng Yi listen, he can shelter him from the wind and rain, and he can handle everything, but he can't help Cheng Yi send the old man away, nor can he be that dutiful son for him.

"Cheng Yiyi, you'll be fine." Standing in front of Cheng Yi, he lit a second cigarette.

As for Cheng Yi, at the beginning he just stood stiffly, uttering evasive words, but his eyes were like those of a person looking for duckweed in the torrent, struggling stubbornly.His eyelashes fluttered, and he was still struggling to recall what Zhou Si said.

Cheng Yi's back collapsed, his feet softened, he staggered two steps, and was stabilized by Zhou Si's hand around his waist. The whole person is tightly bound in his arms.Cheng Yi's head was pressed on Zhou Si's shoulder, and the two maintained this movement for a while, before Zhou Si seemed to hear Cheng Yi's call as thin as a gnat.

"Brother Si."

"I'm here." Zhou Si moved his hand up slowly, and patted Cheng Yi's back.

Cheng Yi's cry started when Zhou Si coaxed him to put his palm close to his back.

He asked him: "Why?"

It is not "what disease", not "how long to live", but "why".

Zhou Si didn't know how to answer the "why", he silently gave Cheng Yi the comfort that he was better than nothing.

Cheng Yi was tireless, and asked Zhou Si over and over again: "Why, Brother Si? Why, I feel that my life is better, and I will hear bad news?!"

Why?

Why did life play another joke on him when his life with Zhou Si seemed to be happy?

It was like this for the first time. At that time, he had Zhou Si as a boyfriend, but Zhou's father had an accident and fell directly into the puddle, throwing himself so hard that he couldn't take care of himself; Kaijian Yueming, and it was Cheng Yi's own father's turn again.

"Cheng Yi." Zhou Si pulled him to lean against his arms, rubbing his chin against the top of Cheng Yi's head.He couldn't explain these births, aging, illnesses and deaths to Cheng Yi, nor could he relieve Cheng Yi's sadness, he could only hug him, rub against him, and protect him.Other than that, there is no other way.

No one is helpless in the face of imminent death.

Cheng Yi's teardrops were pouring down like rain, and he was muttering: "Why, Brother Si? The old man has never done anything bad, shouldn't he live to the end of his life?"

Why did Cheng Yi come back, but the days left for his father were running out?

"A child wants to be raised, but a relative is not waiting for him", Cheng Yi has seen this sentence many times in other people since he was a child, and he never thought that it would fall on himself in the end.

If the knife doesn't fall on yourself, you won't have empathy.Before his friend shut himself up and cried like a madman.Even if Zhou Si locked himself in that little attic he hated, and remembered his scumbag father, Cheng Yi still had a little bit of incomprehension, and even felt that he had more pity for Zhou Si than empathy.

He really didn't understand at that time, but now he suddenly understands that it is a kind of powerlessness that can't compete with death, under powerlessness, people will go crazy.

Cheng Yi was also going crazy.

His life has always been uneventful, and the biggest turmoil was just breaking up with Zhou Si, just like a literati moaning without illness, that is to say, it sounds unforgettable, but it is actually unscathed.

Now... He was pulled back by reality, and he didn't even know what his mother would do if Cheng's father left, and what he would do.This is something he has never dared to imagine.

His lips were pale with fright, but his hands climbed onto Zhou Si's neck, and he clung to it as if he had grasped a life-saving straw. He hugged Zhou Si tightly, rubbing his straw ears and temples, and passed the message to the straw. A cold voice in his head.

"Brother Si..."

Cheng Yi seemed to be asking Zhou Si for help. He was afraid that he would drown in grief, and even his breathing became urgent, as if infected by Zhou Si's emotions just now; Zhou Si hugged him tightly, and pressed his lips against Cheng Yi's. Kissed his forehead, with piety and blessings, and with his tenderness, wanting to give Cheng a hug.

"I'm here."

Before Cheng Yi sank into it, he was pulled up by the word Zhou Si. He held Zhou Si's face in his hands, and for a moment he didn't know how to hide his tears and weakness. The tears kept flowing, making him unable to see Clear Zhou Si's expression.

It was Zhou Si who stretched out his hand and gently wiped the tears on his face.

"I'll be with you, baby. It'll be all right."

Until Cheng's mother cheered in the corridor outside the door: "Come out! Come out! Doctor! How is our old Cheng?"

Only then did Cheng Yi seem to have recovered his soul, and he also recovered a mask, a mask that could hide weakness and tears.He raised his hand to wipe away the tears on his cheeks, Zhou Si opened the door for him, thanked him, and strode out.

Just passing by like this, Zhou Si saw Cheng Yi's red eyes and pale lips, he pulled Cheng Yi's wrist, Cheng Yi looked back, Zhou Si let go knowingly, and put his hand on Cheng Yi's. Back: "Let's go, I'll be with you."

Cheng Yi's mind was buzzing and chaotic, he nodded subconsciously, and said "thank you" subconsciously, his tone became extraordinarily alienated, making Zhou Si in a trance for a moment, as if they had never met before. Cheng Yi walked towards his mother, while Zhou Si was just an outsider in this family.Cheng Yi, Cheng's father, and Cheng's mother are the family.

Zhou Si's hand stayed where it was, and when Cheng Yi took a step, his hand left Cheng Yi's back.Cheng Yi didn't realize what he had lost.

Cheng's mother called out first, "Si'er!"

"Hey." Zhou Si replied distantly.