vulgar

"Cheng Yiyi!" Zhou Si was in a hurry, he grabbed Cheng Yi's wrist, subconsciously wanting to keep him, "Don't go. I—"

What am I?Zhou Si said "I" for a long time but didn't say anything.

Shouldn't he explain something?

Yes.

Zhou Si wanted to explain to Cheng Yi that he wanted to fight for something in front of his lover, but such a sentence rarely opened his mouth a few times and got stuck in his throat, rare that he didn't even know how to type a draft.

What can he explain to Cheng Yi?

Explain that he came here to work because the money here is easy to make?

To be honest, the money here is indeed much better than his honest "code farmer", Zhou Zhou's "007", and the working environment and the air he breathes are also more depressing and introverted than in his eyes. The environment and atmosphere of the Internet industry should be more suitable for him.

At least here he can be the former Zhou Si, find the free and undisciplined soul that has been lost for several years in the bizarre atmosphere; he can sink with many similar floating souls on the muddy dance floor; Indulge in sensuality in the ambiguous night, empty yourself, shake a glass of wine, light two cigarettes, and taste the taste of wanton...

To be honest, I can get back the pride of being surrounded by stars in front of thousands of people, and I can reap the joy brought by that special joke in the sensual dog and horse, and put it in this world, in this world. Society, which man can not like it?

Even on a peaceful weekday night, meeting a few guests is better than looking at the neon lights outside the window in a high-tech building like a steel forest, looking at the slightly crowded overpass and the tails of cars on the bridge that are on and off Red lights, or facing colleagues with numb faces, the days of coding boring codes are much better.

Thinking of this, Cheng Yi couldn't help but glance at Zhou Si.

"you……"

Zhou Si is still the same as before.

It's no different from the gangster Cheng Yi met in junior high school and high school.His cropped hair, his sharp gaze, and his unruly demeanor all came back.He was a completely different person from the fireworks-filled boyfriend who had been with him when he was in graduate school for the past few years.

It seems that the more than 2000 days and nights they spent on the coast were all a dream, a dream of warmth that Zhou Si created for him.

Only now did he really realize that people with Zhou Si's temperament were two different kinds of people from him.

People like Zhou Si originally belonged to such a colorful night, and it was because Zhou Si approached Cheng Yi proactively that he gave Cheng Yi the illusion that he had drawn a sun for him and made a day, He thought that in this way he could get a different Zhou Si, and in this way he could get a Zhou Si similar to him.

Unexpectedly, in the end, Cheng Yi was overthinking.

Zhou Si, just Zhou Si.

He was such a wild man.

It was only because he also liked Cheng Yi that he put himself in the position of a gay man, and it was only because he also liked Cheng Yi that he pretended to restrain his temper.It seems honest and gentle, but in fact, Zhou Si can be unrestrained, can not conceal his style, and can be exquisite in all directions in the wind and dust.

Unlike Cheng Yi.

Compared with Zhou Si's richness and variety, he became the lackluster one.

If we mention the more than twenty years from birth to the present, everything about Cheng Yi can be summed up completely with "study" and "a man named Zhou Si".

Even Wei Xun said he was pathetic.

yeah he is pathetic.

Who told him to be the one he fell in love with first? !

He liked Zhou Si first, but he suffered a lot.

He likes Zhou Si first, in his eyes, heart, and in the world, there is indeed only one person he can pretend to be.

He liked Zhou Si first, so he couldn't see anything other than this person.

He liked Zhou Si first, so much so that whenever this person responded to his love in the slightest, he could wag his tail and live for another ten years.

He is so pathetic and pathetic.

Poor in front of Zhou Si, he just can't get up.

He also wanted to be like a senior he knew before. When he was unhappy in life, he would break up with her boyfriend and find a new boyfriend who would spoil her; he also wanted to tell Zhou Si, I don’t like you here Work, I don't want you to come home smelling like someone else, and lie in the same bed with me; he also wants to yell at Zhou Si, so he can just scold Zhou Si casually, if it doesn't need to be too heavy or dirty, it's fine even if it's to relieve hatred.

But he... the most powerful sentence he could think of, and he could say to Zhou Si, was the pretentiously mature "Get out" just now.

What else?What else could he scold? !He racked his brains and couldn't think of a word of abuse that could be used on Zhou Si.

After all, he is really cheap, so cheap that when he opened his mouth, all he said was: "Forget it, Brother Si."

Even the tone of voice didn't fluctuate, just flat.

Before Cheng Yi left, he didn't ask Zhou Si what he wanted to say or explain. He didn't even know how to deal with this matter face to face with Zhou Si.

The lip print on Zhou Si's neck that was wiped off by his own hands was still there.

It's so dazzling, it's as dazzling as a carving knife inserted upside down in a pen holder, every time Cheng Yi wanted to get closer and reason with Zhou Si, he would stab Cheng Yi straight into his soft and tender body The skin cut a deep hole in his heart.

"I've had enough of it."

"I'm going back to school."

Cheng Yi said two sentences in succession.He finally chose to escape.It seems that if he doesn't look at this hole, if he doesn't ask, he can still deceive himself and others in the love mediation with Zhou Si.

In this way, after a few months, the two people will return to a peaceful situation.

The idea is of course absurd.

But for Cheng Yi at that time, in his naive thinking with little experience, this idea could be put into practice.

At least his parents also handled their relationship in this way. When they had a quarrel, as long as one party quit the argument first, after a few days, the two would make up as if nothing had happened, reconcile, and then continue to live.

"I send you?"

"No, I'm fine. Let go, Brother Si."

Cheng Yi shook Zhou Si's hand.Maybe Zhou Si at that time also had the mentality of wanting to escape a little bit, or maybe his mind was confused by Cheng Yi's reaction. In short, he ignored Cheng Yi's "Forget it" and believed Cheng Yi's words. Sentence "I'm fine".

So he let go and went back to his school for a while.

After that, Zhou Si and Cheng Yi never met each other normally.Zhou Si still calls Cheng Yi every weekend, and sometimes waits for him at the gate of Cheng Yi's school, but unfortunately, he is in vain.

Cheng Yiyi would hang up Zhou Si's phone at first, and then send a message to Zhou Si saying "I won't be back this weekend, I have to write my graduation thesis".

When Zhou Si called again in the next few weeks, he simply didn't even hang up the phone, put the phone on the table, turned it on mute, and let Zhou Si call.Zhou Si made four or five phone calls and no one answered, he felt that he was boring himself and stopped.

As for Cheng Yi, he just looked at the four or five missed calls, sat in the library, and secretly wiped his tears.

He's just weird.

It is said that he is not angry, and it seems that he can't get angry with Zhou Si at all; but he is not angry anymore, and the lip mark on Zhou Si's neck has always been a thorn that has not been pulled out. It was so deeply rooted in his heart.

He seemed to be in a dead end, he couldn't find an exit, and he couldn't enlighten himself, so he was stuck here, unwilling to retreat, unwilling to face Zhou Si again, and finally dragged on until graduation.

Before graduation, he received an offer from his foreign school, ushering in a turning point in his and Zhou Si's lives.In fact, when he was in the second year of graduate school, his tutor gave him a chance to study in a master’s and doctor’s degree. He didn’t think about it at the time, so he missed it; When he first considered applying for a PhD abroad, Cheng Yi looked at the articles he had posted and participated without much hope...

At that time, his mentor heard about this and called him to the office specifically to exchange ideas with him on writing a letter of recommendation.After that, Cheng Yi went back to the dormitory, made a new plan, and decided to apply for a foreign school.

This application plan, how should I put it, can be regarded as a way for him to pursue his dreams. If Zhou Si doesn't want him to go at that time, he doesn't have to go.It's just that he didn't expect that later, it became a way out for him to leave Zhou Si.

When he applied at that time, he didn't think too much about it, so he didn't tell Zhou Si. Later, he met Zhou Si working overtime all night to make money. For a while, he didn't know how to tell Zhou Si about it, and even It's because I had the idea of ​​"or just don't go, it's not bad to come out to work and live like this with Zhou Si".

Later, he was about to graduate, and the relationship between the two of them has always been lukewarm. It may be that Zhou Si said "wake up", and when he came out of the library, he replied "Okay, remember to eat", so polite and alienated dialogue, repeated every day.

In this way, he felt that there was no need to tell Zhou Si.

He simply turned this application into his only exit from the dead end, and just plunged in.

When preparing materials for studying abroad, he also consulted with Wei Xun about specific matters, followed Wei Xun's previous foreign language teacher for a period of temporary "military training" and passed the required foreign language test; later, he entrusted his tutor to study abroad The friend helped a little bit, and got involved with Wei Shi's father, and the final interview was within his ability, so it went smoothly.

By May, he got his wish and applied to a school.

On the day when the offer was sent out, he flew back to the coast from Wei Xun's place overnight, and even put aside the matter of going to his mentor to announce the good news.

He got off the plane and took a taxi directly to the sea view rental house where he and Zhou Si lived for a long time.

At that time, he was full of joy and hope, shuttled through this humid city, made a few trips from the airport on the west side of the city, and returned to the rented house on the east side of the city, by the sea.

He dragged his luggage and stood on this chaotic street full of bungalows, watching the child with a bucket of crabs walking back and forth, shouting "Crabs are coming", and rushing into the food stall deep in the alley; Watching a fat man with big ears coming out of a food stall, he lit a cigarette and walked towards the side streetlight. The man stretched out his arms to embrace the charming woman under the streetlight, and walked into the dark alley where the streetlight could not shine. go.

In this city, all living beings, sooner or later, are all bowed down by life.

"Alas—" Cheng Yi, who was standing on the street, looked away and let out a long sigh.

No matter how long he left here, when he came back here, he would feel the barrenness of this place,

There are large and continuous dark clouds, and it is rainy.

No matter whether people raise their heads or not, people can be overwhelmed here.

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Today's update has personal emotions in it, please forgive me if it causes discomfort.

Cheng Yi and Zhou Si are both my cubs, with fleshy palms and backs. I want to write about them better, but their personalities and behaviors were immature when they first entered the society.So sometimes, the choice of Cheng Yi or Zhou Si may be really incomprehensible.

When my emotions adjust later, I will slightly modify the subjective elements of this chapter.I'm really sorry.