Like a swallow returning to its nest

Time: whatever

Weather: Rain in the morning, sunny at noon, sunny in the afternoon

There is no early eighth on Monday, and there is no need to get up early to grab the piano room on Saturday. For people like me, time has long lost the meaning of record. Live with hope.

A few days ago, while chatting with sister Zhang in the bed next door, I heard her say that her daughter writes a diary to record her mood every day. She asked me to try to write too, because I don’t like talking to people, and she was worried that I would spoil myself.

So when Fang Chun came to see me, I asked her to buy me a diary and a pen.

Ms. Zhang suffers from schizophrenia, and her world is extremely rich. She often messes up the bed one second, gets up to tidy up the next second muttering, quarrels with the personality who made the bed messy, and then gets angry.

Sometimes I get so angry that I don’t even eat, I have to help, pretending that the personality who made Sister Zhang angry is next to me, teach her, scold her, and ask her to admit her mistakes to Sister Zhang.

Her schizophrenia has evolved into a split personality. Logically speaking, she should be placed in the intensive care unit, but she is very kind and gentle. The doctor arranged for her to live with me and another depressed girl, and let us help each other Mutual aid.

In the three-person room we lived in, I was in the bed by the window, with Sister Zhang in the middle, and Song Feifei by the door. She was only 17 years old, a sophomore in high school, and she was already severely depressed.

Depression sucks, I know it, my luck may be a little better, I have manic states where I feel happy, she doesn't, her skies are gray all the time.

When I received the notebook in the morning, I discussed with Song Feifei that we should write this diary together. I can show her what I wrote, and I can show what she wrote, but she is in a bad state, and she was going to hit the wall to die yesterday. , tied up with restraint straps.

Hope she gets better soon.

-

time: not important

Weather: raining all day

In fact, I quite like the rain. A villain often pops up in my mind, wearing a pair of red plastic sandals, jumping around in the puddles with an umbrella, like a happy little piggy Peppa.

When I looked out the window, I often saw such a little girl with a colorful umbrella and red sandals, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see her face, and I began to doubt her authenticity.

Is she a real person in my memory, or is it just my fantasy?

Is there still a chance to find out?

Song Feifei's mother came to see her today and wanted to take her out of the hospital. I heard about it in the activity room in the afternoon, but she is in a very bad condition. The hospital disagreed, and her mother failed to take her away.

Let me talk about the activity room of the hospital first, because we are not allowed to access the Internet in the hospital, we can use mobile phones, but there is no phone card, so we can only play some small stand-alone games, so in addition to eating, taking medicine, treatment, sleeping , doing nothing the rest of the time.

After lunch, most people gathered in the activity room. Old men and women played poker, watched TV if they didn't want to play, and dragged around the room if they didn't want to do anything.

There is an old lady who loves to gossip. She has dementia and was sent in by her son and daughter-in-law.In fact, this kind of old people are very common in the hospital I used to live in. In addition to dementia, some old people who live alone without children are forced to get sick because their houses will be demolished and they refuse to move out. ...

The world is always letting people down.

However, the hospital I live in now is much more formal than the last one, but it is far away from home. If the old lady is not really suffering from delusional psychosis, the hospital will not accept her.

The old lady has long forgotten her children, but she clearly grasps the little secrets that 80.00% of the patients do not know.

The old lady couldn't remember her last name, so the nurse called her Granny Fenfen, and we called her Granny Fenfen.

Granny Fenfen wanders around the ward like a ghost every day, asking for gossip. She said that Song Feifei's mother has remarried and conceived again, and she is probably pregnant with a son. They don't want to let Song Feifei live in such a good hospital. I'm going to get her to go to the grandmother's house in the country, and with a low-guarantee certificate, she can stay in the hospital for free for the rest of her life. Of course, it's not our current hospital, it's a county hospital.

Granny Fenfen said that the environment in that hospital is very bad, worse than being in prison. They don't talk about eating bran and swallowing vegetables, and they don't give treatment. They just let people live with the lowest standard.

Granny Fenfen also said that she lived in that kind of hospital at the beginning, and if her son did not want to know her bank account password, she would not be able to live in the current hospital.

She said that she was very proud of this, and said that she made a small plan and donated all her property to the hospital after she was discharged from the hospital. The dean learned about her situation and allowed her to live in the hospital, and promised to help her arrange for her after a hundred years. thing.

She intends to stay in the hospital for the rest of her life, and the hospital is her home.

Some people questioned the authenticity of Granny Fenfen's gossip. She said that she only knew enough about human nature, and these were all analyzed by herself. One point can diverge into countless points.

I think her analysis is not unreasonable. I met Feifei's mother once, and I don't have a good impression of her.

Poor Feifei doesn't know anything yet.

(Today's content cannot be seen by Feifei. When I hand the notebook to her, I will tear up these two pages.)

-

Time: unknown

Weather: sunny all day

As the sun came out, Feifei's condition improved slightly, and the frequency of sudden collapse and crying decreased a lot. She could get out of bed for two hours a day to participate in group activities, but she would still be tied up at night.

The nurse discovered that she had secretly hidden a rice spoon, and used the rest time to secretly grind it on the floor tiles of the toilet.

Feifei's long hair was cut off and shaved into a boy's cut, because she didn't have so much time to take care of herself.I also cut it off, but I'm not so short, I cut it into a younger sister's cut, and Sister Zhang said it was very cute.

We line up every month to get a haircut. The barber is a lady in her 50s. She can cut a head for only ten yuan. She is very nice and even thinned my bangs.

Keeping a diary is really useful. When I write, my mind is very clear, and my attention is all on the strokes, so I have no time to think about those messy things.

I hope Feifei can get better soon, can hold a pen and write a diary, or continue to write her novel.

Her novels are written in a notebook, which fills three thick volumes, and I have almost finished reading them all. The latest story is called "The Last Compartment in the Ladies' Toilet". Yes, she wrote horror novels. She said that this book is Unit flow, which records all the evil things that happened in the last cubicle of the women's toilet.She said that she was also serializing on the Internet, but because she was hospitalized and could not access the Internet, it had been discontinued for a long time.

I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to follow her story. The latest chapter is that after high school student Xiaoyan gave birth to a baby girl in the toilet, she cruelly drowned the baby in the toilet. After that, the toilet began to gushes out blood every midnight...

It's kind of scary, I only dare to watch it during the day when the sun is out.

I hope Feifei gets better soon, and I hope she doesn't get better so soon...

-

Time: happy all day

Weather: sunny all day

Today is a big day to remember!A great event has happened!

Don't worry, listen to me slowly.

Today's protagonist is Liu Zhengyi, Uncle Liu.

Uncle Liu has lived in the hospital for ten years. He used to have a very decent job and a high degree of education. He is a doctor!

He used to engage in research work in an institution, and the research was kept secret, so he didn't tell us.Granny Fenfen guessed randomly, aerospace?arms?nuclear?Uncle Liu just laughed when he heard it, noncommittal.

The problem is with his work.

Ten years ago, his salary was very high, about 30 to [-] a month, but because of his obsession with research, he was still unmarried in his [-]s, his parents died young, and he only had one older brother, who was his guardian.

His hospitalization and treatment expenses were fully reimbursed, and his salary was paid as usual during the hospitalization period. However, after he recovered, his brother, who was the guardian, refused to sign to allow him to be discharged from the hospital. He was trapped in the hospital for ten years.

He is not hospitalized, and his salary is collected by his brother.

He didn't live in our hospital before. He was transferred here because the original hospital shrank and closed down. I don't know if there is something wrong between the hospital over there and his brother, and he was forced to suppress him for ten years.

After he came here, the doctors and nurses were very sympathetic to what happened to him, but they couldn't do anything without the guardian's signature.

Uncle Liu is basically no different from a normal person. When nurses and doctors are busy, we also ask him to help take care of and manage us. He is very gentle, patient, and careful. He is a very, very good person. A big character pressed.

He is already 40 years old, and there are several decades in his life. I can't imagine how he lived these ten years.

It's a pity that we can't continue to study, but he often said, it doesn't matter, he also found another life value in the hospital, which is to help and take care of us. He said that the most fulfilling thing is to see our condition improve and leave the hospital. After going out, you should live a good life and enjoy a piece of freedom instead of him.

Fortunately, good people have good rewards. A lawyer came to the hospital a year ago. The lawyer was also bipolar. After he heard about Uncle Liu, he said that his family had something to do with him. He was determined to help him and help him leave the hospital. elder brother.

The lawyer stayed in the hospital for two months. After he was discharged from the hospital, he started to work hard. Finally, the king paid off.No need for his brother's signature, the leader of the institute came to pick him up in person!

We are all so happy today, even happier than during the Chinese New Year. Even Feifei smiled very rarely, from the bottom of my heart.

Hope the bad guys can be punished, hope Uncle Liu can resume his work and continue his research career, he is only over 40!Not enough to retire!

Hope we all get better and better!

-

When: One day in October

sunny

I'm leaving the hospital tomorrow.

Feifei hadn't recovered yet, so I changed my mind and agreed to exchange my diary with new chapters of the novel after she was discharged from the hospital.

Come on, Feifei, stay alive.

-

time:

the weather:

After a year, here I am again.

Let me think about how I should write about what happened this year.

-

time:

the weather:

I haven't been in the mood to write a pen these days, but luckily Sister Zhang is still here.

Still.

-

time:

the weather:

Unexpectedly, one day, I would be like Feifei, tied to the bed with a restraint belt, and even had to be fed to drink water... I can only use a catheter to go to the toilet, and the tuba cannot close the cubicle door, and the nurse is too busy. Sister Zhang was sent to supervise me. Sister Zhang was ruthless and would not allow me to close the door.

Is my situation so bad?It's been a few days and I can't remember the details.

My hands are shaking and I can't even write.

I'll take another day off.

-

time:

the weather:

I was tied up with a restraint belt for nearly a week. Sister Zhang helped me massage my hands and feet every day. After I regained my freedom, I started to learn massage from her.

The first patient I served was Granny Fenfen. She was eating at noon, and while the nurse was not paying attention, she stole three eggs and gave them all to me. Sister Zhang and I, and Granny Fenfen, we shared the eggs one by one. Finished.

There is an elder brother whose muscles are very hard. I massaged him, but he said that I am weak and the service is not in place. He wants to complain to the foreman about me...

In the end, he really complained to the nurse sister. Of course the nurse sister ignored him, but he apologized to me in the afternoon, and I have nothing to do with it.

Everyone is mentally ill, so don't care about anyone.

-

time:

the weather:

In fact, there is no difference between being discharged from the hospital and being hospitalized. I am also similar to being hospitalized at home. I can’t go anywhere except eating, drinking and sleeping, and I don’t eat at the same table as my parents.

There are no fun patients at home, and no one arranges treatment and group activities, but the Internet is available, and you can also go for a walk in the garden downstairs, but you can't go out of the gate, and you can't even have Aunt Jiang to accompany you. It can only be my dad. with.

I don't want to be with him, I just don't go out.

I called Feifei, but the phone was always off, and then became an empty number.The diary has only started writing these days.

A few days ago, I asked the nurse about Feifei, and she said that she would try her best to contact the hospital there and ask about Feifei's condition.

Feifei, are you okay?

-

time:

the weather:

Fifi passed away.

It turned out that the sister nurse lied to me. Feifei was taken away by her mother shortly after I was discharged from the hospital last October.

Her mother couldn't apply for the subsistence allowance, so she decided to offer her to a stupid big man in the same village as his wife, and received a bride price of 5 yuan from him.On the day of the wedding, Feifei jumped off the roof of the man's house and fell on the banquet.

She was not dead at the time, she was still conscious, she could hear and see, but it was painful.They took her to the hospital, where they said she was bleeding internally, needed surgery, and had a high risk of paralysis.

The man was arguing with Feifei's mother and asked her to return the bride price. Her mother ran away from the hospital, and the man was unwilling to spend money to treat her, and she died of pain.

She is still dissatisfied.

Her novels will never be updated again, and I and her readers will never see her updates again.

The news was brought back by an enthusiastic lawyer who had helped Uncle Liu. He told the nurse about it, and the nurse told Granny Fenfen to help pass it on.

My pen hand is shaking right now...

I have money, if I was by her side at that time, I would definitely save her, if I had been more careful and contacted her after she was discharged from the hospital, I would have given her all my money, let her leave home and fly away...

It's too late to say anything now.

I can't save anyone, not even myself.

-

time:

the weather:

Sister Zhang was about to be discharged from the hospital. She said that her daughter was about to enter junior high school, and her husband had to pay the mortgage alone, raise her daughter, and have to support a sick wife. She was exhausted.If she is not well, she is well, and she has to go to work.

We left a phone number and asked her to call me whenever she had difficulties, not like Feifei, she promised me, it's great.

If it's just about money, I'll do my best to help her.

Goodbye, Miss Zhang, I hope we are all well.

-

time:

the weather:

I saw Uncle Liu Zhengyi again today, and he came back.

He won the lawsuit, lost his brother, and worked hard in the research institute for half a year, but it had been abandoned for ten years before. The simplest and most basic work.

He couldn't adapt to the life outside, he got sick again, and he came back and was hospitalized.

Granny Fenfen joked that Liu Zhengyi would have sex with her in the hospital, saying that a woman in her twenties is worthy of everything, don't dislike her for being old, and they will spend the rest of their lives in the hospital.

Everyone booed, and Uncle Liu made a big blush on the first day he came back.But he is very happy, he said that the hospital is his home, and this is the way it is in this life.

-

time:

the weather:

I came back to the double ward this time. After Sister Zhang left, a girl came to her bed. She was suffering from severe persecution paranoia. knife.

She often woke up crying at night, choked by nightmares, I tried to get close to her, gave her a gentle hug, and she quickly calmed down.

She has a boyfriend who treats her very well. He visits her three times a week, brings her meals, and chats with her. They are a very loving couple.It is said that she had some very bad encounters in the past... but fortunately, it has become a thing of the past.

-

time:

the weather:

Miss Zhang passed away.

She worked too late and had hallucinations. She cut a plate of fruit and went to her room to find her daughter. For some reason, she mistook the balcony window for the bedroom door... Her daughter watched her struggling to climb up the window sill with the fruit. Can't hold her back either.

I'm so tired.

-

time:

the weather:

There is nothing we can do.

I don't want to meet new friends anymore, I don't want to know their past anymore... That's it.

I don't want to write anything anymore.

-

Written on the title page:

The girl in the next bed, I will be leaving the hospital soon, this diary is for you, my friends are gone, they are all good people, I want a few more people to remember them.

If you don't want it, just throw it away for me, thanks.

I envy you very much, I hope one day, I can also meet the person I love, the person who loves me.

Our wishes will all come true.

The author has something to say:

Some untold stories.

感谢在2022-06-2115：53：15～2022-06-2217：32：07期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦～感谢投出火箭炮的小天使：咕咕的五花肉、特价裴裴乐、EV1个；感谢投出手榴弹的小天使：凡人皆有一死皆需侍奉、miao1个；感谢投出地雷的小天使：逢雪怜梅、一颗雪松、接舆郭、19157217、仙子火。辣辣、小初五、扭到腰、aoi1个；感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：念初凉、ggh10瓶；吃一口奶团9瓶；看满离5瓶；Yang2瓶；干啥、小喵真可爱1瓶；非常感谢大家对我的支持，我会继续努力的！