The world controlled by dice [Western Fantasy]

The overcast weekend brought heavy snow on Monday.

Early Monday morning, January 1.Siles stood by the window, quietly staring at the snow scene outside the window.After a while, his gaze dropped and he saw the doll set on the windowsill.

That made his thoughts unconsciously turn to the deep sea dream he experienced last night.

None of Nona's dreams, Jonathan Bryant's dreams, and what he was looking for, Nanisall Bryant's dreams, didn't appear.This made his deep sea dream last night very peaceful.

He meets Emil Harrison again.Emil swore that he had figured out how to put together the jigsaw puzzle in reality.So, Mr. Phantom gave him the jigsaw puzzle for him to play by himself, and then left Emil's dreamland.

He went to the mysterious farm and observed the planet in the lake again.

The regrettable news is that when he left the dreamland last time, he subconsciously zoomed in on the planet in the lake and observed that Nona was in Lamifaxi City, and that was actually the limit of what he could do at present.

In other words, only when he further masters the power of Akamala, can this map be further enlarged.

This made him a little disappointed, but not that disappointed, because he knew well that he didn't have much control over Akamala's power at the moment.

At least Nona's seedling still looks very healthy, and that's enough.

Then he studied the little house.He knocked on the door patiently, although there was no response from the room.He walked around the house, trying to open the door, but stopped temporarily because of a flash of inspiration.

He thought that the chimney of the house was emitting smoke, so there should be "people" in the house.

From the chimney of the house, the multicolored smoke slowly spread into the sky, and finally expanded into a huge dream bubble-his dream bubble.This is a very spectacular picture.

But for some reason, he just felt that since there was smoke in the chimney, it meant that there were "people" in the house.

It was hard for him to say where the inspiration came from, but after all, he was careful not to forcefully break into the small house at this time.He went instead to the pastures, observing the plowed fields, the lush meadows.

He thought about it for a while and then had an idea.

He kept this idea in his heart, first returned to the deep sea dreamland, confirmed that Emil had finished the puzzle, then praised the clever little boy, and then agreed with him to bring him other toys tomorrow.

Afterwards, he left Emil's dream, stood on the red mud of the isolated island, thought for a while, and finally opened his hands.He looked down, and a flower appeared in his hand.

It was a rosebud about to bloom.

After he saw a rose in a dream last time, he asked Millicent Austin about the corresponding meaning of the rose in reality.He had heard that roses might symbolize prophetic dreams, so he speculated that roses were Akamala's unknown symbolic plants.

So he wanted to try growing roses on the farm.Perhaps doing so would give him more of Akamala's power.He was able to create whatever he wanted in the deep sea dream—his own dream.

So, he created a rose that was about to bloom.

He took the rose to the farm and planted it on cleared land.He felt that his planting technique was very unfamiliar, and revealed a simple and crude meaning.

However, when the rose plant was planted in the ground, he almost felt that he just blinked and the bud opened.That wonderful scene was imprinted in his brain for a moment, and he couldn't help but reach out and touch the weird rose.

Then Sirius woke up.

And that rose...

Right now, it's sitting on his bedside table, still very fresh.When he woke up, the aroma of the rose lingered quietly in his nose, as if it had never disappeared.

... He intends to give this rose to Qin Duo later.

Although roses do have symbolic meanings in prophetic dreams, roses are most often a symbol of love.well known.

What's more, Qin Duo's will attribute allows Sirius to give him this rose with confidence.Hope that the power of Akamala can also guarantee the quality of Qin Duo's sleep.

When the flower really appeared in reality, Siles realized how strange Emil's experience was.And it was amazing that the young boy was not so frightened out of his wits.

This is the power of the gods.Siles couldn't help thinking.It is unbelievable that something unreal has become real, and Akamala's power adds a bit of strange color to this unbelievable.

Besides... can he farm on that farm?

Siles felt that he had told himself a bad joke, but the reality was that this was actually the case.

Thinking about the good, they will not be able to starve themselves to death in the future; thinking about the bad, they don't seem to dare to eat the things grown in Akamala's paradise.

With Eciles' prudence, I'm afraid this function can only be put on the shelf.

At around seven o'clock, Siles went out.The snow had thinned a little, but by the time he got to 32 Lowell Street, there was a pile of white snow on the ground.The snow scene in Ramifa City always has a very gloomy atmosphere.Because the sky is always cloudy.

Qin Duo was making breakfast in the kitchen, he poked his head out and greeted Siles: "Good morning."

"Good morning, Gindor," said Siles.

Yesterday they brought back five books (not including the conversations) from Const National Bank, and since three of them were in Kansas, they put them on Cinder's side.Siles intends to finish reading these books in the next week.

Surprisingly, one of the books in the Kansas script was about Shadow Age literature.Therefore, this book, as well as the transcript of the conversation, is the focus of Siles today.

Siles took off his coat and hung it on a hook in the hall.He slapped the snow off it.Qin Duo also came out of the kitchen and hugged him.

He muttered, "It's cold on you, always."

"It's snowing outside," said Siles. "By the way, Cinder."

He took out the rose from his coat pocket, handed it to Qindo, and said softly, "This is for you, Qindo."

Qin Duo looked at the rose in astonishment, and said, "This is really a surprise... I am very grateful." He suddenly realized something, "But there should be no roses at this time, right? So this is..."

"This is what I brought out of my dream." Siles explained.

This made Qin Duo feel even more surprised.He said, "You're here for me..." His emerald green eyes sparkled almost in shock and fascination, "You're so kind. I don't know how to put it... You're so kind."

He murmured in a low voice, then leaned over and hugged Sirius, his lips gently pressed against Sirius' lips.He said: "I love you. On this cold winter day, you brought a warmth that literally set me on fire."

Siles deepened the soft kiss.Qin Duo gasped instead, he held the rose in one hand, and hugged Sirius' waist with the other.He almost trembled, but his beloved god only stingily gave him such a little tenderness, unwilling to go any further.

In the end, he reluctantly licked Sires' lips, as if he wanted to leave his breath on Sires' body, and he seemed to hope that Sires could leave a mark on his body.Siles opened his mouth and bit his tongue lightly, telling him to restrain himself.

So Qin Duo could only hide his greed.His publicity to the outside world can only allow him to maintain his decency and modesty in front of Siles for a short time, but in fact, he can't wait to hang on to Siles.

He kissed Sirius's beautiful slender fingers, and gently pecked Sirius' fingertips.

Siles smiled softly: "Do you only dare to do this step?"

... Cendo felt that his beloved Professor Noel was provoking him.

But when he really wanted to take the next step, Siles reminded him again: "The pot is going to burn."

Qin Duo: "..."

He said indignantly: "You hang me! Sooner or later..."

"It seems that this is not the first time you have said this." Siles said, "I am a little curious about how far you can go when that day comes."

When he said this, he also carried his innate indifference and reserve, as if he was unmoved by this matter, but he knew very well that Qin Duo could hardly bear it.

Qin Duo said: "Maybe it will impress you."

Sirius looked at him thoughtfully.

This kind of gaze made Qin Duo a little uncomfortable.He coughed a little, and said, "I'll go and see the pot. That's our breakfast."

He took a look at the pot with the rose and made sure it wasn't mushy - that was indeed a way for Sirius to change the subject! ——then took out a glass bottle from the cabinet and put the rose in it.

"Can this rose grow?" Qin Duo asked in confusion.

"This is the concentration of Akamala's power." Siles said, "Don't worry about it dying. As for its effect, it might improve your sleep quality?"

Qin Duo raised her eyebrows, looked at the rose with interest, and said, "This is not bad. Can it make me dream of you?"

Siles was about to pull out his chair and sit down, but he couldn't help but stop when he heard the words.He looked at Qin Duo, hesitated for a moment, and then asked, "dreamed of me?"

Qin Duo said straightforwardly: "If you don't do anything with me in reality, you should allow me to imagine in my dream?"

Siles narrowed his eyes.After a moment of silence, he said, "Actually, I can go to your dreamland, Qindo."

Qin Duo was stunned for a moment, and first looked away with a guilty conscience—he didn't really dream of Sirius, did he? ——Then, he suddenly became excited again: "So, I can really be with you in the dream...?"

He licked his lips a little excitedly, a burning and passionate look flashed in his eyes.

Siles didn't even know what to say for a moment.

Can he say that he admires Qin Duo's... strange brain power?

He said, "Tonight I will go to the deep sea dreamland. Qindo, do you need me to check your dreamland?"

Qin Duo stood there, hesitating for a while rather hesitantly.At this moment, Siles had already served the porridge and put away the snacks to accompany the meal.

Then he heard Gyndo say, "Okay. But you can't be scared by me."

Siles: "..."

What the hell was Cendo doing in his dream?

Siles looked at Qindo suspiciously.

The thing about the date in the dream seemed to be settled so silently.

During the meal, Qindo casually mentioned one thing to Siles: "The landlord of this house asked me if I would like to buy this house. He said that he wanted to invest in some development plans in the city of Ramifa. project, so cash is urgently needed.”

This news surprised Sirius a little.However, considering that the infrastructure construction projects in Ramifa City are indeed in full swing, it is not surprising that some people want to participate in it.

"How much does he charge?" Sirius asked.

"Five thousand duke coins." Qin Duo said, "Maybe we can negotiate a price."

Siles compared some of the news he had heard, and then said honestly: "It sounds a bit expensive."

"If you can buy it for four thousand duke coins, it's still worth it." Qin Duo said, "It can be used as an investment, and I also want to build some real estate in Lamifa City.

"As the development plan in Lamifa City proceeds, the prices of these residences may slowly rise."

On this point, Siles agrees with Cindo.And he said, "That's a good idea, too. You can decide for yourself, Gyndo."

After all, the Praia family is not short of money, and there is only one heir, Qindo.It is also a good idea to have more real estate in Lamifa City as an investment.

Qin Duo nodded, and he asked again: "So, when do you plan to buy a house?"

Siles calculated his savings.The cash he can take out directly is about [-] duke coins, including the income from "The Revenge of the Rose" and Fredman's travel notes, the bounty given by the church in the past, the salary of La Mifa University, and so on.

This is already a huge asset, but if it is all spent, it means that he is penniless.

However, Siles thought again that Professor Bright once said that the Academy of Literature and History should give him some rewards for his thesis during the evaluation at the end of the semester.

He reckoned it could be anywhere from a few hundred to a thousand dukes.

So he said, "Maybe, before spring break starts?"

Qin Duo's eyes suddenly lit up.

Siles added: "I have to go to Middleton for spring break, though, so I'm afraid we won't be moving in that soon."

Ginto sighed angrily.He seemed eager to kick the spring break academic visit out of Siles' schedule, since it would get him there sooner.

After breakfast, Siles and Qindo went to the study on the second floor.

"Do you want to read the conversation first?" Qin Duo asked.

Siles nodded.

So Qin Duo opened the ancient file.He sat across from Siles, and then translated to Siles word for word.For a moment, it dawned on Sirius that the conversation also took place in a moment similar to the present.

The two sat opposite each other, and the atmosphere was quiet and peaceful.

"Can you tell me about your daily life in detail? Apart from drinking, eating, and sleeping in the tavern, do you have nothing else to do?

"This is our life. This is what life is to us.

"You don't think it's too...

"dissolute?

"...that's not what it means.

"Oh, I can understand that in the eyes of you nobles, people like us are probably tramps, useless garbage and waste... But this is also our way of life.

"But do the gods you believe in want you to do this?

"Do you think we are following the ways of the gods, or our own?

"(My silence.)

"A hard question, isn't it? I'm not drunk now, so I tell you this soberly. When my love dies, it's hard for me to tell the difference—the gods abandon us, and mine Love abandoned me, which of these two things is more desperate.

"...So your beliefs are not that devout?

"You are a nobleman, I am afraid you also believe in a certain god? What does a god mean to you?

"...a light on high.

"It turns out that the one you believe in... He seems to have disappeared long ago.

"Perhaps... no, our topic has gone awry.

"I mean, the gods disappear, but will faith disappear?

"...No, no.

"I thought so too. We set out on a journey, looking for a destination we might never reach. That's where life ends and death begins. That's where the stranger ends up. That's where the wanderer ends. Don't you Do you think everyone is born to be a wanderer?

"(I shook my head.)

"Sure enough, I'm a nobleman. But I, we, are different. We seem to be born with nothing to rely on, so we take the fact of 'no possession' itself as our own.

"(After I think for a moment) I seem to understand what you mean. You mean, you go on a journey to find something, but in the end, the journey itself becomes the meaning of your life. Is this how you interpret the gods ?

"Interpreting the gods... oh, arrogant noble. I don't read the gods, I just interpret my own beliefs. Every person, every god, every believer of the gods, they are trying to find the meaning of their lives.

"...After the gods disappeared, we were talking about this kind of topic instead.

"This is the period of silence. The gods also remain silent against the blasphemy of humans. But, but—why did my god leave?

"You think he just left, rather than... dying?

"Of course, of course... He left us and embarked on his own journey. He will fight the shadow. And we... We can do nothing, we can't do anything, we can only keep up with His footsteps.

"……shadow?

"Yes, shadow. You are a believer in that one, and you must know it. Mr. Creamer—'Under the light, there must be a shadow.'"

After reading this, Qin Duo subconsciously stopped.He looked up at Sirius.

Siles repeated the words in a low voice: "'Under the light, there must be a shadow.'"

They were all silent for a moment.

Qin Duo said puzzledly: "I have never seen related records in the Praia family, including this so-called 'shadow'."

Siles said: "From their conversations, at least in the Silent Period, there are still some people who know the existence of the 'Shadow'. But after this, the situation seems to have changed."

Qin Duo nodded in agreement.

"Besides..." Siles thought for a while, "From their conversation, it can be seen that shadow and light go hand in hand. So, is 'shadow' related to Luthmi?"

In contrast, the Klimer family, which is also the Darrow family known to Siles, are followers of Ruthmi, which is not so surprising to him, and there is even a feeling that his prediction has been confirmed. Feel.

Of course, after the Cremores became the Darrows and moved from Kansas to Const, that belief seemed to slowly fade away.The younger generations don't know much about the beliefs of the ancestors in the past, and the elders of the family don't seem to want them to know.

"From this sentence, it means that only when there is light, there will be shadows." Qin Duo said, "So Luthmi and this so-called 'shadow'...are born together?"

Such a statement reminded Siles of the conversation they had with Detective Jon not long ago.According to Jon, someone pretends to be a follower of Ruthmee, but is actually a follower of The Shadow.

Moreover, Ligardia embarked on a journey to fight against the "shadow"?This was not surprising, but it was a little surprising to Sirius that Aldous Gershwin knew so much about the matter.

"Are there any other references to 'Shadows' in the transcript?" Siles asked.

"I'll look for it." Qin Duo said.

Siles waited patiently.

After a while, Qin Duo said, "I still found two places, and I'll read them to you."

Qin Duo's deep voice continued to ring in Sirius' ears.

"...are you wandering around? Since when?

"A long, long time ago. Since the Shadow Age. It has been hundreds of years ago. Since the disappearance of my god, we have embarked on a journey. We follow in His footsteps, and if we cannot walk with Him, we will follow His footprints.

"So, about the Shadow Chronicles...

"I understand what you mean. My god and the god you believed in disappeared at that time. Shadows, shadows... that was a terrible era. The world was overturned, and gods and people were involved in it...all by that Covered by shadows. The color of blood invades everyone's dreams.

"……indeed so.

"After the silent period, things got a lot better. Because the noisy voice disappeared. People can keep quiet... everyone. The whole world is like this."

Qin Duo paused here, then turned the page, and read the second paragraph about "Shadow".

"Is it impossible for God and man to fight against the 'Shadow'?

"No... no, I don't think so. Alcohol may be making my mind sluggish, but I'd deny that possibility... Seriously, Mr. Creamer. It's not like that... It's the other way around of.

"... what? What do you know?

"I mean...compete. 'Shadow' is not the first god, 'Shadow' is the later god. It is impossible for the later god to defeat the earliest god, but...but, that is the 'shadow'...that is 'Shadow' ah.

"Is there a difference in the power of gods and gods?

"Of course. Of course. (The poet laughs vaguely.)

"(I maintain a puzzled silence.)

"The world prefers certain gods. Oh, I dare not say more, and I don't know more. These things are just word of mouth - I'll tell you this when I'm drunk.

"...You already know enough? Why would you know about 'Shadows'?"

"Because, before my god left... there was...someone who had a conversation with him. That devout believer, that devout believer...he obeyed my god's will, and he understood the truth. He will A part of the truth has been passed down.

"……who is he?

"I can't tell you so simply... All I can say is... He set out on the journey, before us. He is my ancestor... You can call him Gershwin... He set sail, he went there The vortex of the sea and the stars, he will die without a place to bury him, he will become the flying bird that announces the news...

"You're drunk. (I was thrown up all over. Ugh.)"

After reading this, Qin Duo couldn't help laughing, as if he was amused by a small wave in the long river of time.But then, his expression became serious.

Siles' eyes fell on the dusty parchment.Who, he thought, has ever read this conversation?

Graves Cremer, who was considered a "castaway" by his family, could think of when he had these conversations with Aldous Gershwin, who was denounced by the nobles as "inferior" How many secrets from the past and the world are hidden in it?

When Karakak left his hometown where the fog broke out due to the fall of the gods, and drank and chatted with the impoverished and bereaved wandering poet Aldous Gershwin, he thought of a certain ancestor of the poet Have you ever had a meeting with that high god?

No one thought of it.

"...Then, let's sort out the information." Siles said in a low voice.

Qin Duo nodded.He stared at Siles, and at the same time said: "A catastrophe occurred during the Shadow Age, and both humans and gods were involved."

"What's the noise? What's the bloody dream?" Sirius asked.

Qin Duo shook his head, he wrote down these two questions casually, and then was taken aback suddenly - he seemed to have also contracted Siles' strange habit of taking notes anytime and anywhere.

"Shadows are the later gods. There are differences in the power of gods and gods. The world prefers certain gods." Siles said, he paused, "This seems to be no accident, but it seems..."

Qin Duo looked at him with some trouble.

Siles murmured, "...the world?"

They were silent for a moment.Cendo didn't disturb Siles' thinking.

But Siles then shook his head, not wasting time on this question that troubled him.

He turned to say: "The ancestor of Aldous Gershwin...a Gershwin earlier, he had a conversation with Lygardia who was about to embark on a journey in the Shadow Age."

Qin Duo nodded, and said: "This should be the last record of Lygardia in the Praia family." He looked at the conversation record with some surprise, "I didn't expect to get an answer here."

Siles went on: "Gershwin got some information from Lygardia—the truth of the world, it should be said. Then he embarked on a journey, following Lygardia's will. That is to say, he probably went to Do things for Lygardia.

"According to Aldous, did this Gershwin set sail to convey a certain message to Amois? But, the vortex of the ocean and the stars?"

He said with some doubts: "Amois and Ruthmi?"

"'The stars are reflected in the sea.'" Qin Duo whispered this sentence, "It seems that Amoyes does have some relationship with Ruthmi."

Siles nodded, but then frowned: "It's hard to say what relationship they have. It seems that Ruthmi is related to 'shadow'. Light and shadow...It sounds a bit complicated.

"Also, there's no mention of spiders in their conversation, just 'shadows.' What exactly are spiders referring to?"

Siles was troubled by these questions.

Qin Duo also rarely sighed: "There are really enough puzzles in the past."

Siles nodded in agreement. He said, "Thirteen old gods, Antinum, and this unknown 'shadow'. There are fifteen gods in total."

Qin Duo propped his chin, and said a little strangely: "Why has Anti-Nam never appeared in these past files?"

Siles couldn't help but startled.

He thought for a while and said, "Because he didn't appear until the period of fog?"

"That sounds even weirder," Cinder muttered, "so he's also a 'later god'?"

Siles didn't know the answer to that question either.

However, in a sense, he never thought of a possibility—could Antinam be the "shadow"?

For some reason, he kept ignoring the question.Is it because in various materials related to "Shadow", "Shadow" always appears very malicious and seems to have caused many disasters, so it is incompatible with the image of Anti-Nam today?

After thinking for a moment, Sirius shook his head.He took off his glasses, leaned back on the chair, and pinched the bridge of his nose subconsciously.He heard the [Knowledge +1] prompt coming from his mind, but he didn't show anything on his face.

This is as it should be.he thinks.For they had just learned that in the past a disciple of Lycardia had sailed to sea.

He turned his attention to this matter.

After a moment he said: "From Gershwin—I mean, the earlier Gershwin—from his behavior, Lycardia seems to be on good terms with Amoise?"

Qin Duo was startled, and couldn't help asking: "Why do you think so?"

"Lygardia's last order before leaving was to have a devout believer go to the sea to deliver news. The god directly related to the sea is probably the god of warriors and pirates.

"This news must be very important, so Lygardia will tell the believers specifically. However, this is the last news before he left. Why did he choose to tell Amois instead of other gods?"

As he spoke, Siles thought of something else.

In Conan Fremont's book, he speaks of his young self having a brush with death.It was the surge of the sea that carried him to the shore, where he escaped death.

Although it is not known whether there is Thaddeus's inspiration behind this matter, at least it has been confirmed that the sea is also related to death, and it does not seem to have any malice towards humans.

In addition, in the deep sea dream, the dream bubbles of human beings finally form a boundless sea; the broken dream bubbles of the dead people become isolated islands in the sea.Dreams are also associated with the sea.

In Akamala's farm, a map of the planet emerges from the lake.It can also be regarded as a different kind of picture that embodies the image of "stars reflected in the sea", even though the "sea" is relatively small.

Lycardia, Amois, Thaddeus, Akamala.Siles silently recited the names of these four gods in his heart.

Afterwards, the names of the other gods also flashed in his mind.

Ruthmi, Pessonari, Trisley, Atkinya... Huddoka, Menawaka, Erkoo, Temiafa, Brancani...

Thirteen old gods.

The relationship between them is intricate, it seems to devour each other, it seems to be very close, it seems to turn against each other.They have spent this long and distant era together with mankind, and finally, they fell like rain in the silent era of silence.

Sirius sighed slowly.

Chindo said in good time: "I'll go back and read the transcript again to see if there's any useful information in it, but I guess that's all there is to it about shadows."

Siles nodded, and said, "It's a surprise to know so much."

They spent almost the whole morning on this conversation record.Of course, the harvest was indeed worthy of their time, and Siles couldn't help but feel that it was quite worthwhile to spend some time and effort to find this transcript.

Qin Duo even said in a joking tone: "You should look for more books and materials that have not been available in full before."

Siles thought for a moment, then shook his head involuntarily, and said, "It seems that we have found everything."

Even the complete works of Fremont's "Life", which seemed the most difficult to find, were finally obtained with the help of Professor Calverley.

Qin Duo opened his eyes slightly, and looked at him in amazement, and then he couldn't help laughing and said, "You really are the darling of fate—no, it should be said that you control fate."

Siles just laughed at this statement.

"It's time for lunch." Qin Duo said, "It seems that the snow outside has stopped, why don't we go outside to eat?"

"Of course," said Siles.

They went to a nearby restaurant for dinner, and then took a leisurely walk outside.There was a thin layer of snow outside, and the temperature was a little low.They intended to walk from Lowell Street to Hayward Street and back again.

However, when they passed 6 Hayward Street, they accidentally ran into a postman.

"Oh, are you Mr. Siles Noel?" said the postman, who seemed to know him. "There are two letters from you."

letter?

Siles couldn't help being a little surprised.He thanked the postman and took the two letters.

"Where did you come from?" Ginto asked.

Siles hesitated for a moment, and then said: "Chester and Alva." He paused, "Their letters are actually put together."

Qin Duo commented objectively: "These two people did get together by coincidence, no matter in the land of no embers or now."

Siles smiled at the statement.Of course, he also felt that it was quite interesting that Chester and Alva could become friends.

He put the letter in his pocket and said, "Come on, let's go home and see what's written in the letter."

Cindor shook Siles's hand triumphantly, and said, "I'm glad...you call 32 Lowell Street 'home.'"

Siles was slightly taken aback, only to be belatedly aware of the words he subconsciously used.That revealed some of his thoughts invisibly, and before that, he himself didn't even understand it.

He thought for a while, and when Cindo almost became nervous because of this incident, and thought he had said something wrong, Siles suddenly smiled, and he said in a low voice: "Yes, Cindo. Then It's our home."

Qin Duo looked at him, his eyes softened at that moment.God knows how many times he has used "hopeless" to describe himself, but now, he still said hopelessly: "That couldn't be better. I love you."

He only uses this title of equality when he says "I love you".Usually, out of his own etiquette and habit, he always called Siles as "you".Only then, only when he said those three simple words, would he say "you".

Because he was looking forward to it, he could get a response from Siles... He was looking forward to it, he could get the love of Siles.

"I love you too," Sirius said.

Qin Duo couldn't help laughing.He smiled with his eyes slightly curved.He only showed this appearance in front of Sirius, which made him completely unlike the arrogant and arrogant explorer when he first met.

Or maybe it was just because he could never do it in front of Siles.He can only admit willingly, because he loves and yearns for the existence of Sires so much, so he