Kaka is a cat?

After more than 30 years of leaving the motherland, I finally set foot on my homeland again. Although I was not in the same space, even my relatives and friends from the previous life could no longer be found, but when I got off the plane, I heard the familiar words for the first time. When speaking the language, I still have the illusion of wanting to cry.

This is a small town in the south of the Yangtze River, and I can't even find it on the map. But looking at the familiar and unfamiliar scene, I feel inexplicably at ease.

The staff at the reception were surprised that a foreigner seemed to be proficient in Chinese. I could only smile wryly, but I couldn’t tell anyone that even though the vicissitudes of time have changed, how can certain qualities engraved in the soul be wiped out?

When I have no work, I will sit on the boat, pick up the leaves and play the song of my childhood over and over again under the surprised eyes of the boatman. In the shallow waves, I will watch the children chasing and playing on both sides of the river, as if my heart is connected. They also quieted down together.

Sometimes, when you come to a secluded teahouse, or exchange a few words with the proprietress, or hold a book in your hand and drink a cup of tea, the day passes like this.

The familiar streets still exist, but there is no one waiting for my return.

Sometimes, I will look at the direction of my "home" with a look that is almost nostalgic, and then think this way, my biggest wish is to bring the person I love the most back to my parents. , Now I finally came back, but to escape from that person, even with a completely unrecognizable and scarred self.

During this period, I lived the most peaceful and calm days. The peaceful atmosphere of my hometown is like the warm hands of my mother.I took a closer look at myself with an objective attitude I had never had before, and finally found sadly that I still seem to be the one who was entangled by everything in the past, even though I said time and time again that I had given up, but I faced Which of all the irrational attitudes of the other party does not prove that they still have strong emotions?For so many years, to what extent has my heart been distorted by hatred?

But the years of entanglement seemed to be coming to an end.

I waited for something with an unprecedented almost anticipatory attitude.

What you deserve, you have to work hard to get it, and what you don't deserve, don't even think about it.I long to be a light woman, with my own preferences and beliefs, not eager for quick success, not exaggerated and frivolous, not surprised by favor or humiliation, can laugh and fight, but my heart is as calm as water.Be calm and comfortable, learn to understand, and learn to be compassionate.

Then that night, after attending the banquet of the press corps, I saw that familiar figure on the small road back to my residence.

Still wearing the tennis belt, leaning against the street lamp, his side face is so handsome under the light.

Just like that year, he waited quietly at my door.

I wasn't overly surprised, or wanted to run away immediately like in the past, but stopped a few steps away from that person, and just looked at him indifferently.

Under the dim streetlight, I said quietly, "Ryoma, what exactly do you want to tell me? I think, the current me should be willing to listen to what you have to say."

He looked at me lingeringly, his eyes entangled with me in the air, and finally sighed annoyedly, "Kaka, I finally understand what it's like to be able to chase the other person's back all the time but can't get back the other side's glance." He murmured, "Kaka, why don't you love me anymore?"

When I heard this, I suddenly had an urge to cry.

I think I have been deceiving myself all the time, not that I don’t love, but that I love too much, so I have too much hope, and then when the hope is shattered, it condenses into the deepest disappointment and despair.

How much I hate this person just proves how deeply I love this person.

I don't think I'll ever be able to truly shake off this spell, and all of my strongest emotions are related to this person, as if they were born instinctively.

Both of us are responsible for such a tragic ending in the previous life.

I have always been such a low self-esteem and cowardly person, I am always used to waiting, but who said that blindly waiting will only let happiness slip away?

Now I finally know that there may be me in this person's heart. If it was in the past, I think I would be crying with joy, but after experiencing so much, I really can't act as if nothing happened. After all , even if the hideous wound will heal in the end, it will still hurt in the dark weather.

"Ryoma, I am very grateful for the changes and concessions you have made for me over the years, but..."

His voice suddenly interrupted my words, "Kaka, you just listen, I beg you, listen to me, okay?"

I stared blankly at this person whom I once cherished on the tip of my heart talking to me in a begging tone that I had never had before, and suddenly felt extremely sad, and I couldn't say any words of rejection.

"I've always felt that we had plenty of time."

"After you left, it's been cold and gloomy in the house every day. The grilled fish in the restaurant is too bad, and the temperature of the bath water can't always be just right..." He said in a coquettish tone.

I have black lines all over my head, hey, are you treating me like a wife or a mother?

"Life is better than death," came his painful voice, "Even when I was playing, I felt empty, and my heart hurt like crazy. I later learned that this feeling is called life is better than death."

My heart tightened violently.

"Sure enough, Echizen Ryoma's level is still far behind." He laughed at himself.

As if he suddenly thought of something, he cheerfully took out something carefully from his pocket. I just glanced at it, and tears filled my eyes, but I was stubborn and refused to shed it.

A pair of platinum rings were unusually simple and elegant in style. They were tightly tied together by a thin rope in an inseparable state.

"Hey, do you remember? This pair of rings is exactly the same as when we got married." Then he seemed to think of something, and Yan Nuo said, "Kaka, I...my one has been hanging on the On the neck..."

Then he said with a miserable smile, "Yeah, what are you doing showing this to you, maybe you will never accept it this time..."

My heart, which I thought would never hurt again, was sore again.

"I've been thinking, what is love? Kaka, haven't you always wanted to get the answer from me, but last time I spent my whole life and couldn't figure it out."

"But, if you feel inexplicably happy when you see someone, miss you crazily when you can't see them, your heart roars because you are close to them, and you feel worse than death because you lose them, you cry for her, laugh for her, and miss you for her. Happy, sad for her, thinking about her day and night, because she is no longer like me, if such intense, tangled, sweet and painful feelings are love, then, in this sense, I love you."

My tears could no longer be controlled and poured down.

"But," I said hoarsely, "maybe, just maybe, you'll never get to that day..."

"Kaka," he said in an unbelievably gentle tone, "how much time do we have left to waste?"

"If you can't see the future, then please leave it to me."

"You used to chase me so hard, so this time, let me chase you, okay?"

"You just need to stay where you are, don't deny all the years we have passed so easily."

"If the memory is not good enough, I want to help you create more brilliant futures that are enough to cover it up."

"Kaka, I'll always be waiting, waiting to take you home."

I stared blankly at the other person's mature face, which was completely different from the past, and finally sighed softly.

Gently brushing away the long hair, revealing the little buttons on the ears that are made into earrings, and then showing the other party the same gentle smile as the original one.

"Then, let's get to know each other again. My name is Caris Howard. Or, you can also call me Lin Qi."

[THEEND]

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