don't you regret

Zhuang Song held the glass of American style in his hand, and his heart trembled inexplicably by Gu Yan's expression and tone.

The sudden ambiguous atmosphere made his heart beat a little faster, but he faintly resisted his own heartbeat.

So Zhuang Song picked up a topic at random to change the current atmosphere: "Then what if I like rich people?"

"Then I'll buy ten big gold chains to hang on my body." Gu Yi leaned half his body on the table, resting his elbow on his chin, looked at him and asked, "Can you like me?"

Zhuang Song calmly picked up the tissue that came with the coffee delivery, and pushed Gu Yan's nose to push him away: "It's a beautiful idea."

-

After the two-month lecture tour, Zhuang Song's life returned to the simplest track, working, teasing cats, and blackmailing.

Someone invited him to continue to give speeches, but Zhuang Song still prefers to engage in scientific research.

Nesting in his own little world doing something he likes, surrounded by familiar and close people, this is his most comfortable state.

Gu Di maintained the demeanor of a little sweet dog who asked about his health, Zhuang Song went to the laboratory and he picked him up by car, and he even cared about the snacks on 9.9.

If Zhuang Song didn't stop him hard, he probably could order eight meals a day.

In the end, Zhuang Song said that if you spend money indiscriminately, he will ignore you, so Gu Yan stopped his behavior.

The number of Kitten's Claw has not been played for a while, and it has naturally decayed to Diamond.

Then Zhuang Song met Qiu Ri when he changed his skin on the account, and only heard about Qi Lun. He had a dispute with him because of the first national uniform, and asked the navy army to blackmail him on the post bar. The TV anchor next door who was banned from broadcasting for a month became more and more angry when he thought about it, and angrily found a lot of actors to play him.

As a result, more than a dozen actors monitored the movements of Kitten's Claw 24 hours a day for two months.

But in those two months, Zhuang Song was extremely cash-charged. If he wanted to play games, he would play in the entertainment mode, and he didn't go online once.

Seven rounds of burning money and squatting could not reach Zhuang Song, his fists were all on the cotton, he was about to die of anger, and soon he was grabbed by the tail and poked out to find an actor, followed by being banned for another 3 months.

Being stared at to perform such a thing will not cause too much trouble to Zhuang Song.

But if it does happen, it will be really annoying if you can't play the game well.

Zhuang Song suddenly recalled the past two months, every time he wanted to play the account of Kitten Claw, Gu Yan always told him, don’t play ranked when you are so busy, I will fight with you in a big fight, just relax after entertainment .

At that time, Zhuang Song was very puzzled, but every time he was abducted by Gu Yi to go to Telecom's first area to play entertainment mode, he was really happy, so he didn't ask any more questions.

Zhuang Song clicked on Gu Yan's chat box, and the message was still in the conversation this morning.

- Gu Yan: Good morning~

-Jonson: Good morning

-Gu Yi: [The puppy wags its tail and runs over.gif]

Zhuang Song flipped through the expression bar, but finally didn't post anything.

Soon the summer passed, and several rains brought Jiangzhou into autumn completely.

October 10th is Zhuang Song's birthday.

In previous years, Gu Yi would give Zhuang Song a gift on this day and invite him to have dinner together. Only last year, when their relationship was the most rigid and they had almost no contact, Gu Yi sent "Happy Birthday" but he didn't reply.

This year, Gu Yi asked early on if he could have dinner together, and finally made an appointment for a light meal at noon.

Because Zhuang Song is busy writing a paper recently, he doesn't have time to spend a lot of time going out to eat.

As for presents, Gu Yi mentioned, "Whether it's inconvenient for you to go anywhere", Zhuang Song keenly sensed that something was wrong, and immediately told Gu Yi firmly that he was not allowed to give expensive gifts, and he would not accept them even if he gave them.

He was really worried that Gu Yi would give him a car for Xixi, and Gu Yi could really do this kind of domineering behavior.

Sure enough, Gu Yan sighed, and asked unwillingly: "Is it really not possible? I have money."

Zhuang Song was expressionless, "It's really impossible, I can't accept it. It's not—"

"It's not about dating, I know." Gu Yan said.

There was a brief silence in the atmosphere.

Zhuang Song gave a "hmm".

Gu Yan looked a little hurt, but still smiled: "Okay, then I won't give you expensive gifts. Don't worry."

At noon on my birthday, I went to Dongmen Hot Pot with Gu Yi for dinner, and received a gift from Gu Yi, which was a practical mechanical keyboard and a big gift bag of daily necessities for the kitten.

At night, Zhuang Song was waiting for the machine to run a program in the laboratory. The computer was a bit old, and it took a long time to run a program.

He sat at the table and waited, and clicked on Gu Yan's live broadcast room.

I forgot when it started, and I would click into Gu Yi’s live broadcast room to watch it again when I was free, but Zhuang Song opened a trumpet. I don’t know why, but I just don’t want Gu Yi to know.

The title of the live broadcast room made Zhuang Song stunned.

"Fan Buoyancy Day, Enter the Lucky Draw"

Zhuang Song clicked in, and heard Gu Yan say happily: "Good evening, draw a lottery in 5 minutes, post a message of congratulations on the barrage, and draw 100 66 red envelopes."

-[Is it 66, not 6 pieces of 6? 】

-【Anchor hit double-color ball? 】

"I've won the double color ball and I will broadcast it for you?" Gu Yan smiled lazily, "Today is a very important day. I am in a good mood. You have supported me for so long. I will spread the money and save some for... everyone Blessing."

The bullet screen immediately began to gossip about what day it was, and many of them guessed it was "the birthday of the person I like", but because Zhuang Song didn't want to make it public, Gu Yan certainly didn't admit it.

He watched the bullet screen with a smile, and the last sentence was "Okay, don't guess, it's starting to smoke. After 3 minutes, the bullet screen will send some blessings, happy every day, and your studies are going well. Thank you everyone."

Zhuang Song flipped through the replays of the live broadcast. This person gave gifts of [-] to [-] yuan after the broadcast started today.

Generally, anchors give gifts like this to accept the promotion, and the donor’s father pays for it. Gu Yi paid for it purely out of his own pocket, and gave back to the fans who have been watching him. The question is, "Today is an important day, I am very happy, and accumulate some blessings."

Zhuang Song looked at it for a while, shook his head, and criticized in a low voice: "Extravagance and waste."

The corner of the mouth is raised.

-

There have been people gathering in Zhang Luo High School class since March last year, and it finally took place in December this year.

Eight years after graduation, high school classmates took advantage of the school celebration to return to Huaichuan and made an appointment to have dinner together.

Huaichuan is a small town next door to Jiangzhou, where Zhuang Song High School is located.

The dinner venue is a restaurant near the school.

Zhuang Song and Gu Di were both in Jiangzhou, so they made an appointment to go together.After getting off the high-speed rail and taking a taxi to the restaurant, I saw familiar place names along the way, and the memories of the campus flooded into my mind, which made me very emotional.

They arrived late, and there were already many old classmates there. As soon as they entered, someone shouted: "Why do you two hang out every day!"

Then everyone laughed and booed. They all knew that the two of them had a good relationship, so they asked them to sit next to each other.

While drinking, I recalled my student life and talked about the present.

Zhuang Song is not very talkative in this kind of occasion, but Gu Yi is different. Usually, Gu Yi will definitely become the focus of chatting, after all, he is a celebrity now.

But this time he didn't participate in the chat much, and sat quietly beside Zhuang Song, eating something and not drinking much.

The meaning is obvious, they like to be lively, so I will accompany you.

In fact, Zhuang Song didn't really want to hear them talk about the past, because the past was not a very bright memory for him.

His parents divorced and reorganized their families and left him at his grandmother's house, but his grandmother gave him nothing except a roof to live in.The orange cats at home are closer to him.

That's how boyhood was.

At school, he was so lonely that he didn't know how to get along with others, and he was immersed in solving problems every day.

Only Gu Yan, who came to talk to him all day long, pulled him to participate in activities, quarreled with him, and made fun of him, was like the brightest light in those days.

But a few years later, he rejected his confession and wanted to be a "good friend" with him.

Gu Di was the best to him, but he was also bad to him. The two emotions were intertwined.

In fact, the good is more, but the bad is also very bad. It is like a poisonous thorn in the memory, and there is no way to ignore it.

From the love at the beginning, to the short indifference later, to hate.

Up to now, sometimes I hate him, but most of the time I don’t hate him, but the part that doesn’t hate him dare not admit it because he is afraid of repeating the same mistakes.

Very subtle and complex emotions.

"I haven't spoken all the time." Gu Yan leaned over and lightly touched his glass with the wine glass.

It was cold outside but the temperature inside the room was on the high side, Gu Di's face turned a little red with boredom, and his eyes were bright.

No one paid attention to their whispers, Zhuang Song tilted his cup and touched Gu Yan.

But being entangled in emotions, I was a little annoying to him, I didn't want to drink the wine he toasted, and I didn't want to respond to him.

Soon, the topic on the big table turned back to the present.

"Gu Yi, my girlfriend loves to watch your live broadcast." Someone said, "Will you write a to sign for me later?"

"Okay." Gu Yan said with a smile, "I can record a to video for you."

The man compared his heart to Gu Yi across the entire table.

"Zhuang Song is also amazing now." Someone said, "Dr. Zhuang, it seems that it was published in the newspaper that day, right?"

"Yes, a new electronic transport system based on the KL50 heavy-duty transport system." Gu Die answered.

Everyone thought it was Zhuang Song who said it, but when they realized it, the table fell silent.

Even Zhuang Song himself raised his eyes in surprise.

This is the content of his research, but he didn't talk about it in the speech, because it is too professional and boring, and all related achievements are published in professional journals. If Gu Yan didn't read it specially, he would definitely not see it.

"You know all this? You know it very well." Someone joked.

"I don't really understand, just take a look." Gu Yan smiled.

Looking at this sentence casually, Zhuang Song was a little dazed in the second half of the drink.

He remembered that he only mentioned a few words about what he was doing, because it was very clear that others did not understand and were not interested in understanding things that were too professional.

Just casually said, this person went to see it, and remembered it for a long time.

The meal lasted until after 11 o'clock in the evening, and the parties broke up after paying the bill.

A local in Huaichuan asked if he needed to send his classmates who came back from other places to the hotel. Zhuang Song said: "I live close to here, and walking back is like a walk."

"I'll go back too." Gu Yan then said.

"Goodbye!" Everyone hugged and said goodbye.

Walked a few more steps.

On the quiet and familiar street, only Zhuang Song and Gu Yi were left, walking side by side.

-

"It feels like everyone has changed a lot." Gu Yan recalled the scene just now, "Only you haven't changed much."

"That's because we haven't been separated much." Zhuang Song said, "You can't tell if it's changed."

"That's right for you to say that." Gu Yan smiled, "It would be great if we really haven't been separated too much."

Zhuang Song glanced at him, turned his gaze back, walked with his pockets in his pocket, and looked at his toes.

The evening wind is blowing, not too cold.The leaves are rustled by the wind. This feeling is exactly the same as eight years ago, every time I went to study at night and walked on the street after school.

For a while, people couldn't tell which time and space it was in.

Even eight years ago, I walked with this person, talking and laughing, shoulder to shoulder.

"Actually, recently, I have been very distressed every day." Gu Yan said again.

"What's bothering you?" Zhuang Song asked, "Won't I be nice to you?"

Gu Di would not usually say these words, and Zhuang Song would not answer them like this.But all restraint failed this evening.

Walking in the past streets, blowing the familiar evening wind.

They were all drunk and spoke more boldly than usual.

"Part of it." Gu Yan smiled, "but it's not the main thing, the main thing is that I don't know how to pay back what has hurt you."

Zhuang Song paused.

Gu Yan said: "For more than a year, I have experienced part of your experience. Even if I am willing, I often feel uncomfortable. I seem to understand your feelings at those times better, but it is precisely because of this that I understand that there is no way to make up for that feeling. .”

"Is it repayment to experience everything you have experienced? I don't think so, besides, you are not as bastard as I am, so you must suffer more than me."

"Then what should I do, should I spend time and energy for you? I have done a lot. Can regret express sincerity? Or be tortured? I have done it all, I am willing, but I don't think it is enough."

"I always reminisce about the past, and I regret every day, not only regretting missing you. I regret that I have done many, many things wrong, but there is no way to go back to the past, so how can I make up for it? You don't want my money, my heat You don't want it, it's not compensation for me to be nice to you, I will do it no matter what."

"After much deliberation, the only useful way to compensate is to let you see that I have changed, and use me to prove to you that I will be good to you in the next few decades, but you don't need it now. I really don't know if I still What can be done."

Still walking while speaking.There seems to be no end to this path.

Zhuang Song was silent for a while, and then said softly: "It's actually... unnecessary to say such nasty things."

"I know." Gu Yan smiled, "Is it nasty? Didn't it mean it. I just kept it in my heart for a long time, and then I wanted to tell you."

"What do you want to say?" Zhuang Song asked.

"It's fine for us to stay like this, as long as you're happy." Gu Yan said, "I'm slowly accepting the fact that what I've done is hard to forgive, maybe you really won't like me anymore .”

Zhuang Song stopped and smiled: "I don't like your problem?"

He choked on the wind and coughed, Gu Yan naturally took out a bottle of water from his bag, unscrewed the cap, and handed it to him.

Then seriously, "No problem. I'm sorry."

On a cold winter night, the evening wind blew across the long street, and the two of them were shoulder to shoulder and almost close to each other.The wind is lingering with the ambiguity that seems to be there now, and also mixed with the pain that was once hard to let go.

Hate him because he loves him.Because you can't forget him, you can't forgive him.

Zhuang Song looked down at the water bottle in front of him, his eye circles turned red.

He gritted his teeth and cursed "bastard".Bowing his head, he bit Gu Yan's wrist.