honey color

After that, the most worrying and frightening voice in the world suddenly sounded:

"Honey sauce."

VIP Latest Chapter 58Chapter58. Gloomy Sky

There seems to be the sound of the wind passing through the street behind me, and the gray sky has never changed into the color I expected.

like my heart.

But the sound of the sweater rubbing against the back of the chair still appeared inadvertently because of those two words, and he didn't even have time to put away the letter paper in his hand.That voice appeared too suddenly, and when it fell into my eardrums, I had already touched a teacup beside me because of my astonishment.From time to time, cold air infiltrates the window sill gap covered by the light curtain behind me, but now I have a thick layer of sweat on my back because of the accelerated heart.

The sound came from the front of the door, and the sound of his knocking had stopped, but I was sitting in the room like a frightened rabbit, not daring to move.Not even sure if it was really from him, the man I missed for so many years.

"Are you... there?"

"..." Even if I didn't turn around, I knew that the thin white gauze behind me couldn't block my back at all.But even if the current self is full of loopholes, I don't want to answer this obvious question aloud.Maybe it's not the idea of ​​cutting off the agreement anymore, the current self just wants to avoid him blindly, that's all.

"Are you still... avoiding me?"

"..." His response was still speechless. I turned my back to the outside of the house, but every word he said was like a thin needle that would pierce my heart and make me feel sore.

He seemed to be patiently waiting for my answer, and he seemed to be organizing his own words.In this dry late autumn, even the boy's usual mellow voice became jerky.

There was a silence between us, and his very slight sigh drifted into the glass with the sound of the wind, which touched my heart:

"...Do you want...to come to Tokyo?" It was a straightforward invitation. While asking for my opinion, it also expressed his expectation.But at that time, I clenched my father's last letter even tighter and pressed my lips tightly.I know that the feeling of soreness and pain in my heart is slowly expanding.

He stood outside the fence, probably never looked away from my back.

I can imagine those eyes, those water-blue pupils that coincidentally reunited with me on the Sitianbaosi campus a year ago, the eyes that seem to conceive the entire sky, but they will be covered with moving eyes when encountering the setting sun. gentle temperament.Fascinating, people have to fall into it.

I have always missed these eyes. When I think of him in the middle of the night, the first thing I think of is these azure pupils soaked in soft breath.And I am afraid of these eyes all the time.

I was afraid that as long as I looked at him, I would not be able to persist, and I was afraid that I would really run to him without thinking about myself, and then be hurt by those eyes with a surprised expression.

I, who love beauty, may have inherited my father's bad habit of pride.Instead of abandoning after being seen ugly, it is better to always leave the other party with a beautiful memory.

——Actually, that is simply an excuse for inferiority complex.

Suddenly there was a slight knocking sound outside the window, like the sound of him putting his hand on the door panel, and he himself seemed to lower his head after that.The voice is no longer free as if riding the breeze, as if it came from a lower position, buried in the cold, embedded in the expectations of many days and nights, tried to be rubbed away by time, but still escaped obliteration because of his stubbornness :

"Honey, I never gave up on that promise." His voice was no longer filled with expectations, with that warm tone, "I...still waiting for you to turn around."

………………

…………

……

Maybe before that, I still doubted that he came to Osaka on the train from Tokyo, and how much of his own wishes he brought with him when he persuaded me to go back. For whatever other reason chose to stand outside the door four years later and say these words to me.

But everything is not like this. When he said the word "turn around", I felt how heavy the word was, so heavy that I had to reach out to cover my lips, bend down, and hold back The sound of whimpering.

Even my father's last letter fell on the ground, and the picture created by the rubbing of paper and wood looked like a leaf falling into the water, and my heart seemed to be this lonely leaf, even though I tried to cover up this feeling countless times, but I have to admit that the answer I was looking forward to the most mercilessly brought tears to my eyes.

That kind of feeling is too entangled, hope and hope, comfort and anxiety, happiness and sadness are intertwined, wrestling and struggling in the chaos, trying to find a balance point, but finally have to accept it, which is simply impossible.

There is an endless blank space behind me, maybe he is still waiting for my answer, maybe it is the last temptation, maybe it is just a declaration, but no matter which one, I dare not make a sound, dare not use my voice to respond to his expect.Because it's unfair to him, because reason tells me: You should stay in a shell and use this hard protective layer to block everything in the past.

Even these things in front of me are enough to plunge my world into chaos, and then encounter a new round of reshuffle.

For my silence, he remained as calm as smoke.I turned my back to him, and after hearing a heavy breathing, his faint laughter finally brought this unexpected conversation to an end.

"Honey sauce, I will wait for your return in Tokyo."

With that elusive self-confidence, I was overwhelmed by this self-confidence, but now, I don't want it to be something that stops him.

I thought that the word "perseverance" could be included in the ranks of praise, but today, I suddenly hated this kind of feeling, this kind of feeling that seems to ignore time.Stubborn as a nail sunk into cement.

So at the end, I straightened up.I opened my mouth, I want to seize the last chance to say something to him, I want to tell him not to wait any longer, I want to say "goodbye" to him with a smile at least while hiding my lower body, but until then, I Only to find that smiles don't appear only when facing him.

Because he is the one I can't hide, even if there are eleven thousand ways to pretend to be myself, my acting skills will only turn into a bad joke in front of him.Because that heart does not want to classify him as the object of lies, no matter how the superficial self orders the self in the heart, only in front of this person, I will not hide all my gestures, I will only be the one who lacks Safe flower field honey.

Turning around, the words left on his lips did not come out after all.Against the background of the desolate street, the appearance of him standing outside the window through the white gauze was vaguely reflected in my pupils.It's still the same beautiful face, it seems to have a more mature expression than when he was a teenager, with a gentle sense of tolerance, it will be more stable and more like a creative youth.

Without the youthfulness and childishness at that time, the young man standing on the streets of Osaka has obviously grown into an appearance that surprised even me.

He also looked at me like that, even though we couldn't see each other's face at all, they were still like old friends, or looked at each other with almost greedy eyes with deeper feelings than old friends.

If there were no crows overhead, if it was a sunny day, if everything was as it was before, I would definitely pull back the veil, I would definitely grab his hand in the rice fields full of golden ears, I will definitely nod and agree to his agreement.

The sky was getting darker and darker. When he left here, it happened that Mr. Ueda came back from work.

He just nodded to greet her, even though he looked at me reluctantly, his figure was finally swallowed by the gloomy street.

VIP latest chapter 59Chapter59. Dark determination

Sitting in front of the window, the snow outside the glass is still falling.

About "lost" has become an old trace in my heart, but the result of that turning point is that I haven't touched the brush since then.

A month seemed as long as a century, and the emptiness and paleness gradually expanded in my heart, so big that it almost swallowed up the ability to think normally.It was a frightening experience, like the spirit gradually peeling away from the body, dimming hope, becoming indifferent to everything.

The unexpected appearance of that young man not long ago was probably the only thing that could still touch the nerves in this spiritual desert.Night after night of insomnia, in addition to bringing a worse spirit, it also makes the yearning for him expand into guilt.The idea of ​​the future has been determined through repeated wrinkles.

There was no way out, and when I sent it to Aunt Matsumoto, my father told me not to trouble their family, and not to be a trouble to others in my future life.But again and again, no matter how unwilling, they always do such things.In the desperate situation of life, when the spirit is dry, I have to face all kinds of tears.

This time, if possible, how much I want to escape to a place that no one knows, to a place where there are only strangers, to seal this self that can only bring bad luck in a small room, and not to worry about such a self anymore. Looking for even a little bit of fetters.So simply grow old, simply go to the end of the world.

So on the third day after the winter vacation, I took the initiative to ask Mr. Ueda to talk about my thoughts on future matters.

She has also lost a lot of weight in this month, and she looks almost depressed. She is worried every day but can't say a word.She didn't even say a word about abandoning Huahua, she endured it, and at the same time looked for