honey color

"Now that you are in a daze, you are not at all like the Ami I liked before." Chitose interrupted my argument.

"Eh?"

"Are you able to use a cane for your feet?" It was still a blunt question, which forced me to purse my lips, but I couldn't say a word.

"Ami, you are afraid." He looked at me with dark blue pupils, even his eyes were full of indescribable absoluteness.

"..." speechless.

"Because of fear, I hide in my own world wholeheartedly."

"..." speechless.

"But you must know that if you continue like this, your world will become farther and farther away from the truth, more and more illusory, and less and less lifeless."

"..." Still, speechless.

Maybe he is right, it's not that he can't walk slowly in the streets and alleys with crutches, even in the middle of the sleepless night, he secretly opened the door and tried to walk with crutches in the yard.But I don't want to be scorched by the sun on my back, and walk with a limp in an ugly, weak, and strange posture with two wooden sticks.It seems that there is only one poor me in the world casting a dark shadow under the light, a shadow so dark that it cannot be opened, walking alone under the light, and not seeing the light under the light.

But he said, "You're literally ruining your dreams."

I was terrified, unwilling to push the dream that was finally constructed to the cliff, it was still fragile, and it was still swaying.

There is no possibility of arguing, I am not a willful person, and he is indeed standing on an objective standpoint, considering everything for me, and planning a lot for me.

So after a while, I said:

"Okay." A simple word, but extremely sincere, hit Xia Feng and drifted into each other's ears.

Is it time to find that brave self?

……

But regardless of the ending, Chitose and the others left Osaka the day after the agreement was made.

In the following summer, I always felt that Osaka was suddenly much quieter.

The teenagers I met all went to Tokyo to give their youth a chance.

Perhaps it is nature, human beings have had a strong desire to conquer from a long time ago.Even though they were close friends before, every time they walked on the court, the team uniform covering the body was like a river with clear boundaries, which became the whole reason to defeat the opponent on the other side of the net.

Even Yukari cheered for his brother to go to Tokyo, and Lan also said that he had to go to Tokyo with Kenya to meet a friend he hadn't seen for a long time, and Chitose, Kenya, Yukimura...all stood in the area that I was not familiar with before. On the land, on the land with nine years of life experience, even the smell of a leaf is enough to arouse my nostalgia for that city.But at this moment, I am deeply afraid of the word "love".

On the other hand, I was trying to escape my monotonous life.Walking with my father under the blue and white sky in the evening, although I had to use crutches and even need my father's support in the future, I have been working hard, not wanting to lose to the so-called timidity, and not wanting to let the painting die for such a ridiculous reason.

You know, the next downfall will kill all my hopes.

My father is by my side. He has always had a bad stomach recently, and his cough seems to be a little too much.I'm afraid I'm busy traveling around Osaka and doing local photography.But he is always willing to be by my side, even if I am not too strong.

He's always been a good dad, always has been, it's just that he doesn't act like a normal dad.

I'm afraid he wanted me to quit the wheelchair a long time ago, but he never said anything. It wasn't until I was awakened by Chitose and started training spontaneously that he showed his feelings with surprise on his face.

He is still the calm father, still the father who never decides everything for me.

So every time I "walk", I am always smiling.

After all, that was my decision, and it was the way I had to go.

It's just that this lonely summer has become more and more lengthy in the heat, as if the buzzing of insects in my ears has lengthened the time a lot, and I am moving forward at an extremely slow speed in my world.

"I don't know how they compare?"

"What is Chitose doing now?"

"Did Ran meet that friend in Tokyo?"

I leaned against the low wall on the side of the street, and the branches and leaves of vines hung on the wall.Although the flower cabin has long since faded away, the green leaves are growing thick, clinging to the top of the wall.

My father left me to go to the convenience store to buy frozen food, and I stood under the shadow of the branches, thinking about these unsolvable questions whimsically.

Not long after, the phone vibrated slightly.

I took it out of my pocket, and when the screen was turned on, a photo of celebration appeared in front of my eyes.Standing next to the trophy was the boy with iris-blue hair, his teammates, who were kissing the trophy at the moment.

"This time we defeated Qing Xue and won the national championship! I really want to tell you, although I don't know if you care. (laughs)

Before I could think about it, the second message came one after another:

"By the way, next summer vacation, I will come to Osaka to see you."

The second text message was somewhat strange and abrupt. Although I couldn't figure out why, I still replied with the words "Congratulations and welcome!"But before long, I still turned to the previous text message.

Maybe it's because the intuitiveness of the picture will always attract more attention from humans, but for some reason, that photo has a magical power that makes me unable to take my eyes off from the very beginning.

It wasn't until it fell into my sight for the second time that I found the gentle figure behind the cheering crowd under the clear sky.It is a quarter of the profile before turning around.

The lonely side face is full of familiarity and memories.

The sound of cicadas or ringing in the ears came overwhelmingly.

"Hey, this is the first time we've met in two years, right?"

39Chapter39. Lick each other's wounds

Yukimura Seiichi would never have imagined that this photo, which simply means victory to him, is nothing but a turning around of the boy in my eyes.

"Long time no see, how long has it been since the accident, Buer?"

The night wind passed through the gaps in the vines above my head, messing with my hair and dispelling the scorching heat of the day.

The phone screen gradually dimmed, and the convenience store in the distance, my father hadn't come out yet.The moonlight was bright, and under the dim street lamp opposite, flying insects were circling around the light.Not long after, a car roared past me, and I narrowed my eyes slightly.

Something hit the phone screen, the faint reflection was completely submerged in the glare of the headlights.

"But no matter how long, our distance from then must be measured in light-years."

——The distance between hearts.

Reaching out to wipe away the tears from the corners of my eyes, I looked up at the full moon in the dark blue sky.

When I was submerged in the dense crowd in Osaka, you were thrown by me on the familiar streets of Tokyo, perhaps lonely, or as usual, starting your high school life.

I always want to achieve the state of "never see each other, never miss", but now it seems that this idea is really naive and ridiculous.

Maybe you should ask "coincidence", why do you always appear in my world intentionally or unintentionally?

After all you see, people always say: time dilutes everything.

But why, seeing your sharpened chin two years later, seeing your body that is a little thinner than in junior high school, and seeing the "lonely" expression that you also had when you lost to Shiraishi, my heart felt like Like being pinched?

How much I believed in the power of time before this!

Believe it hears my prayers, pray that it will put distance between us, pray that it will let each other go, pray that it will blur our faces.

But now it seems that everything is just wishful thinking on my part.

That night, I seemed to be sleeping in a void of black space, falling rapidly, gradually moving away from the light, but there was always a white spot within reach of the eyes, which never disappeared.

—Stubbornness is painful to me.

……

In the summer vacation before August, I only completed two paintings in the real sense.

I am restraining myself, except for the necessary sketching and color training, I restrain my impulse all the time.

I don't want to draw the "lifeless" picture in Chitose's mouth.

One is a souvenir.

Seeing the boy's lonely and unwilling turn around in the distant Tokyo arena, I can always imagine that his blue pupils must also be covered with pain and grayness.

I just want to record this turning in the wind, record his lost quarter face on paper in a chaotic orange, and treasure it in the corner of the closet forever.

The other is thanks to inspiration.

When I went to see Mr. Ueda at night, it happened that my father and her husband were going on a short business trip.She stayed with me for the night, and after dinner she went upstairs to get my pajamas for me.

When I heard the creaking sound of the wooden floor on the second floor being stepped on by her, I slowly raised my head and stared at the dim light leaking above with an almost searching gaze.

When I saw her face from twilight to light, half of her face was cut by light and shadow, I finally looked back in a hurry.The woman saw through my thoughts at a glance, so it wasn't long before she asked playfully:

"Honey, do you want to come up and take a look?"

"Huh?" Incredible, you know, I have never walked down the stairs for two years.

"I'll help you." She raised the corners of her mouth, behind her capable black-rimmed glasses, her squinted eyes were very gentle.

So that night, I finally supported the railing of the balcony on the second floor.While bathing in the night breeze, the fragrance of green leaves will also be mixed into the air and float into the nasal cavity.

It's been a long time since I stood at a high place to see the world.

The memories in my mind are like Yoshimitsu Kataha, and what flashes before my eyes is the back of the seniors on the roof of the teaching building when the cherry blossoms were raging that year.

The sky is tile blue, and the ground is cherry pink.

The hot buttons in the palm of the hand, the fluttering sleeves of the boy's clothes, and the promise to continue his dream all rushed together, and when the hair was finally blown into disorder by the damp wind after the thunderstorm.

"Memories are really not a good thing for me."

bent self-deprecatingly