honey color

Wearing a hat, he hurriedly asked:

"Excuse me... are you Miss Hanada?" Seeing that it was the postman who often delivered letters for this area, I nodded quickly.

"I'm so sorry!" He immediately turned around and searched in the slanted backpack, and finally took out a light brown envelope, "When I stuffed this letter into the bag, it leaked through the crack of the cloth bag. Today When I was about to dispose of the broken bag, I found this letter!"

"Really..." I hesitated to take the envelope in his hand.

"Looking at the postmark, it's about a month ago. I'm so sorry!" The young postman leaned his bicycle against the wall on one side, and bowed respectfully towards me.

I hurriedly raised my hand to stop:

"It's okay! According to me, there should be no urgent mail!"

After exchanging pleasantries, the apologetic postman finally stepped on his bicycle again and disappeared in the night dew.

Not far away, Lan played with Hachi and Godzilla.I turned my head with a smile, and under the street lamp, I carefully looked at the envelope that was wrinkled at one corner.

"Flower Field Honey Harvest."

It said so on the envelope.

But soon, I found out that the letter was sent from Tokyo.Because the postmark clearly marked all the locations it traveled to, and the original location fell in Tokyo.

Gradually, I became uneasy, and my mind was complicated about the secret in this letter.

One side is anticipation and the other side is fear.

After all, Tokyo is the place where I have the most beautiful memory and the most pain in the past 16 years.

But the fingers couldn't wait to tear off the seal, leaving a faint friction sound in the air.

Stretching in, not the expected letter paper.The fingertip is a smooth surface, and it feels more like a photo.

"Photo?" He asked suspiciously.

Until this photo was taken out, it swayed up and down in the spring breeze, but it almost aroused all the past events that I had managed to hide.

The original work that made me infinitely annoyed.

Nine years ago - "Hanami", when I first met the shock of the first cherry blossoms in Japan, I printed this photo in the source of memory, but because of an accident, the photo became a hazy pink.

………………

…………

……

I couldn't stop my tears. I knew everyone in this photo, but when I found the small words on the back of the piece of paper, I burst into tears.

——"Honey, even if we can't see it, we are still smiling behind the petals. Fuji Shusuke"

32Chapter32. Weak and struggling

The author has something to say:

Second update.

So those who went naked last week to apply for the list and even lacked sleep for the whole week, did not dare to apply for the list again this week... OTZ

I want to take a break and save the manuscript for a week, and then apply for a list next week.Cough, if you are so diligent in spreading soil to this pit, you are not allowed to urge more!In addition, endure loneliness, believe that I am with you! =w=【Fly

Submerging memory in the river of time, I always thought that one day, it would be decomposed by the river, and then disappear.Like a flimsy piece of paper, it is kneaded into a ball, soaked into a pulp, and finally, no one knows what is on the paper.

— including the one who threw it away in the first place.

But that night, when the words "Fu Er Zhou Zhu" came into view again, a hole was inexplicably knocked out of the shell that had been built with great difficulty.

Afterwards, I thought that I was so weak that I was defeated just because of such an inconspicuous name.But when I received this photo, I seemed to have no way to express my feelings at that time except to cry.

Everything is a curse cast by oneself, using oneself to trap oneself.

So at the end of the day, I am the mantra, I am the rope.

I just remember that day, I cried like a quiet child who lost a toy.

It wasn't the kind of heart-piercing wailing, but it still remained innocent, and even Lan's consolation had no effect.I pinched the photo, the criss-cross palm lines of my palm were wet with warm tears, but in the night wind, it instantly turned into a heart-piercing cold.

Enough to scare me.

Lan later said that she hugged me and patted my shoulder to comfort me.Even if she doesn't know, who is the culprit who made me unable to stop my tears.

She said: "Mi, you know, that day I realized that you are not as strong as you imagined."

However, at that time, I just sobbed wholeheartedly, unreasonable.

Even the long hair that has spread over the shoulder blades is dyed with a sad shadow.

From the very beginning, he knew about me.He is still the kind and gentle young man who sent me a text message that might drown in my inbox on a cold autumn night.

It was the spell that was cast that evening, so he was so convinced that this spell would bind me, even if I pulled away, he still persisted in writing these six words.

"I'll wait for you to turn around."

I choose silence, so I choose to stay away from everything related to him.

Stay away from the city where he lives, stay away from the photography he and I love, and stay away from the promise he made.

Because it is far away from everything, I choose to close the phone.

Because I am far away from everything, I chose not to reply from the moment I received the photo.

Let it be reduced to a far-off ticket, and the boy who bought the ticket can only squint and look hopelessly at the calm sea in front of him.

All these things, all the things I desperately wanted to cut off, once formed the most beautiful world in my heart so vividly.

But now, all the reasons why I stretch out my hand to kill it with my own hands are just that boy.

——Break the mirror reflecting the beautiful light and shadow in front of him, and respond to his expectations with eternal silence.

Perhaps only in this way can he be freed from that spell.

……

That night, I locked myself in the room early.Even when my father asked what was wrong, I just forced a smile through the door and said I wanted to go to bed early.

I only turned on a goose yellow bed lamp, in order to correct my lies to my father.

Sitting in a wheelchair for a long time, with long hair flowing past my ears, I lowered my head, and the sour feeling of flickering was spreading in my heart.

Without thinking, it seems to be cut off from the world.It was a place where I was alone, and the sealed memories grew from the darkness, gradually covering up the forced brightness and happiness.

Because from the beginning, I have been like this, and I am just so humble.

After a long time, I stretched out my hands, gritted my teeth, and supported the handle of the wheelchair.The pain of the teeth dug into the lips made the transparent liquid seep out of the tear ducts.I looked straight ahead, behind the cabinet door five meters away, was a photo of Tokyo.I want to reach out and grab them, with my legs, and grab them with my own hands.

The right foot touches the ground, followed by the left foot.

"I want to stand up."

On this night when the cherry blossoms are about to end, I am so eager to realize this wish.

But this, too, is an unfettered wish.

Because, when my left foot touches the ground, when I want to give half of my body weight to it, there is that secret restlessness coming from the depths of my bones.It seems to be a mouth hidden in the darkness, warning me with a sly smile, warning me not to continue, otherwise:

"It's a sad end," he said.

Before he could make any response, even before raising his contemptuous gaze towards this enemy, in the next second, powerlessness occupied the soles of his feet.

Like a funny show, the wheelchair backed up in front of the mirror in the direction it was pushed away, and I fell to the ground without any suspense.

A muffled sound.

Cheeks, shoulders, chest, knees... all the parts that are now touching the ground are all painful.

I struggled to get up, until all my strength was exhausted, until the air was filled with the sound of my gasping, and I finally let go of my futile efforts and fell to the ground.

Reluctantly, he clenched his fists and hit the ground, tears streaming down his eyes.Flowed over the bridge of my nose, flowed over my hot cheeks, and finally seeped into the cracks in the floor.

Everything is impossible, no two.

No matter how much you wish to bring that girl back, everything was doomed the moment she fell down the stone steps of the shrine.

You know, that Hanada Mimi who used to go to the stadium with you, go to the shrine, go to school, jump on the tram to Kamakura to see the sea, now he can't even walk five meters.

It's as if I can never reach out and touch the past.Behind the closet, among the stacks of photos, the one in which the color tone I adjusted for the sky unexpectedly matched his blue pupils, is like a dream that cannot be woken up, buried in a deep place in the distant past. Bottomless darkness.

I took the photo out of my pocket.In the dim room, when the line of small characters came into view again, I finally closed my eyes resolutely.

So now, let it go into that darkness too, shall we?

……

It was probably the muffled sound that shook my father, when I crawled to open the cabinet and stuffed the photos into the darkness.The footsteps of my father running upstairs and downstairs became more and more clear.

He knocked on the door and called my name.Seeing no response, he finally turned the doorknob.

Such a scene is somewhat surprising.

My father froze for a few seconds, then hurried to me, took my arm, and dragged me onto the bed:

"What's going on?" The tone was slightly reproachful, which is rare for the always gentle father.

I just looked at him with a wry smile, my hair was still wet with tears.And my heart is cloudy, like a depressed face.

He looked at me and finally didn't ask any more questions.

Squatting down, when he lifted my legs onto the mattress, I still squirmed my lips:

"Father, I won't be able to walk for the rest of my life." I looked at the wrinkled man on the other side of the dim light, and said the most cruel words to him and to me.

He paused for a moment, but quickly followed up with the movement just now.My father didn't say a word, so that for an almost endless time, I just listened to