honey color

Going for a walk, getting used to sitting in a wheelchair and looking up at the sky at a distance of nearly half a meter shorter, getting used to the striped hospital gown, getting used to the pale bedding, getting used to the smell of disinfectant in the corridor...

When you gradually accept who you are, half of the original pain will disappear.

And now, I am walking on such a road, from the healing of physical wounds to the healing of psychological wounds, slowly beginning to accept the fact that I am no longer a normal person.

In this way, the state of mind will definitely calm down a lot.

Some other things also began to appear in my mind, such as Aunt Matsumoto, such as Fuji Shusuke.

Ten days after arriving in Osaka, I received a text message on my mobile phone.

Before this, I have received many text messages.Every time I silently read one by one, and then silently delete one by one.I want to make a clean break with my former self. My father understood my thoughts and asked me, "Is it necessary to make such a decision?"

I said, "If I don't, I'm afraid I will soften my heart!"

My father said, "We can't bear to go back to Tokyo later."

And I was stunned, and said in a low voice: "The place I'm most afraid of going now is Tokyo."

But the text message I received that day made me hesitate.

In the ward at night, in the dark, I stared at the phone screen for a long time without moving.When the screen is dark, reach out and turn it on again. After a while, turn it on again.

Just a simple six words: "I will wait for you to turn around."

In the upper left corner, the sender is clearly written: Fuji Zhousuke.

I'll wait for you to turn around...wait for you to turn around...wait for you, turn around...

I repeated this sentence over and over again unconsciously in my heart.

But I'm afraid I can't turn around, Fuji.

Because of the current ugly appearance, I don't want you to see it!

Even if the day of turning around does exist, can you wait patiently?

So finally, I closed my phone.

Although I hid under the covers that day and asked myself, why didn't I delete that text message in the end?

……

One month later, I was discharged from Osaka Hospital.My father rented a house very close to the hospital. He said it would be convenient for me to go to the hospital for rehabilitation exercises.

The street where the apartment is located is quite quiet. My father pushed the wheelchair up the long ramp. On both sides were cherry trees with criss-cross branches. It was already withered in late autumn, and the brown dead leaves were bleak in the autumn wind.

"Oh, it seems that the cherry blossoms will be very beautiful here in spring." My father's deep voice sounded behind me, and I could even taste a little joy from it, "I haven't seen the cherry blossoms for a long time." Yes, my father has been away for many years. What seems ordinary to me, in his eyes, there will be a surprise of reunion.

But after all, they are lifeless dead wood, even steeped in a little sadness.

"Honey, can you imagine?" Father suddenly lowered his head and asked.

"Eh?"

"Imagine this road full of cherry blossoms."

"..."

Generally speaking, my father is a person who lives on "beauty".

Once, my father said to me: "beauty is not only discovered by careful observation, but more importantly, imagination."

From a certain point of view, my father can be quite successful in photography. Apart from his sophisticated technology, another part of the reason is his rich imagination.Before taking pictures of the scenery, the processing of various distant views, close-up shots and aperture tones has been imagined.

So I closed my eyes and imagined the world covered by pink cherry clouds on both sides.The fragrance of the flowers, the touch of the petals, the rustling of the cherry blossoms when they fall... Then looking up, there is a transparent sky, the pure blue reflects the cherry blossoms...

It's like the "Hanami" in my six-year-old memory when I first arrived in Tokyo...

Suddenly opened his eyes, his heartbeat accelerated uncontrollably.

"Honey, is your dream to be a photographer?" Father's indifferent voice reappeared mixed with heaviness, and these words were enough to pierce my heart.

"But now..." I looked at my left leg, which was covered by the long skirt, but the left foot exposed outside the skirt and covered with thick plaster was still clearly visible, "...it seems to be dying."

"Honey, how about trying to change your dream?"

"?"

"The cherry blossoms in your mind just now must be different from what I thought."

"..."

"It must be young and warm."

"..."

"I'd love to see it."

"What's the meaning……?"

"How about going to draw those beautiful things?"

I admit that these words from my father changed my life afterwards.But at that point in time, I was very hesitant.People who have just lost their dreams are still immersed in the infinite remembrance of past dreams. I can't plunge into another world so indifferently.

It's like saying "goodbye" to an old friend you've seen for a long time.

But another rational me is quietly persuading myself, so that I can create my own beauty even in a wheelchair.

So a week later, at dinner time, I looked at my father, hesitated, and mentioned this matter again:

"I want to give it a try...about drawing..."

The chopsticks in my father's hand paused, then he put it down and stared at me.

"But I'm like this, it's hard to go to painting class." I said a little embarrassed.

"It's okay." My father interrupted immediately, and I clearly heard a trace of excitement in his voice, "I'll help you find a teacher."

……

In fact, my father was always on my side.

So even if there is a nine-year gap among us, we will still quickly become rich within two months.

Daily rehabilitation exercise is not enough for a person with severe fractures, but I gradually believe that the world is not as dark as I imagined.

For example, when my father pushed me home that day, I found a big animal lying in the small garden.I couldn't believe my eyes:

"Dog?" I turned to look at my father behind me in surprise.My father looked at my surprised expression, and rarely smiled so brightly:

"It's a Labrador I asked a friend to buy."

"I want to touch it!!" I thought at that moment, it was the first time in months that I unexpectedly curled the corners of my mouth.

"well!"

Light yellow fur, black round eyes, when we opened the door and came in, he immediately got up and looked at us naively, dragging his tongue.

"Think of a name!"

"How is Ah Ba?" I stroked the dog's jaw and rubbed its soft fur.

"Why such a common name? It's not like a girl would think of it." The father also joked happily.

"I just think of the loyal dog Hachiko." I replied with a smile.

"It will be a loyal dog too." Father nodded.

"Well, definitely will!"

22Chapter22. Meet the light spot

The author has something to say:

As soon as I go to work, I am too busy, so the characters appear on the stage.

In Osaka, there will still be all kinds of people waiting for you.

Although I still live in the memories of Tokyo and that boy.

……

The art teacher, surnamed Ueda, is a woman in her 40s who wears glasses.

Ueda teacher is a lecturer in a nearby art training class, and her father and her are college classmates.Mr. Ueda's husband has been friends with his father for many years and is the executive editor of his father's geographic magazine.

My father told me that Ueda-sensei would be able to get together with his good friend, and he deserved it.

Mr. Ueda gave me a somewhat rigid impression when he first came, but gradually, this initial image was worn away.Ueda-sensei will only be very serious when instructing me in art studies. As soon as the get out of class is over, she will go out for a walk with Hachi and me with a smile.

I have to admit that the foundation of art is boring and boring.From childhood to adulthood, my art grades in school were very good.Although I haven't studied it systematically, whether it is copying or coloring, it can basically fit the copy.

But Mr. Ueda said: "What we want is precision in composition and flexibility in color."

At that time, I looked at her very puzzled.

So the woman stood beside me, and in front of her was a drawing board covered with beige sketch paper.Ueda-sensei holds a 5B soft pencil in his hand, and measures the still life not far away with the pen holder.

"Teacher, what are you doing?" I looked at her puzzled.

"We need to fit them in proportion to this blank sheet of paper."

"ratio?"

"It doesn't matter how big or small the paper is, if you can understand it, they can all be put in."

I nodded half understanding. In this way, I have indeed encountered a situation where I can't draw anymore.

But Ueda-sensei seems to like my colors more than sketches.

She said, "Honey, just looking at your sense of color, I can see how rich your world is."

Me: "Huh?"

Ueda: "Sometimes unrestrained and sometimes delicate, but the combination is harmonious enough."

For me who was fourteen or fifteen years old and had just started to learn painting, these words were a bit esoteric after all.But I know that this compliment, which is not a compliment, will make me go further and further on the road of painting.

……

Time passed slowly, and the news about Tokyo became less and less.Although I often take out photos to recall, time is cruel after all. People and things that were so clear half a year ago have been covered with fog half a year later.

Regarding the boy's text message that night, I still transferred it from general receiving to stored information.

During this period, I was also tempted to reply, but every time I ended up giving up.All kinds of reasons made me give up, and I was afraid of time. While I gradually forgot about Tokyo, it also made him turn around eventually.Maybe he already walked out of the state of mind half a year ago in high school, maybe he has stepped into a new story, maybe he...

So every time, I curled the corners of my mouth in self-deprecating manner.Obviously he turned around first, so what do you expect from others?

Why don't you just hide in Osaka forever...

……

In a blink of an eye, early summer.

After dinner that day, I took Ah