honey color

The author has something to say:

I have no friends and am even afraid of the relationship.

During the six years of living with my father, my friendship ended in a hurry every time, which made me gradually afraid of the word "friend".

So for many days after I stayed at Aunt Matsumoto's house, I kept my camera in hand and searched for more permanent and fixed objects.

My almost autistic state did not make Aunt Matsumoto change her gentle smile. She is a standard housewife, and she will stand not far away and look at me as soon as she finishes her housework.

Sometimes I wonder, what the hell is she looking at?Even I don't know what I'm doing, will she get tired of watching it?Will there be confusion or even disgust on the face?Hate a strange child like me, suddenly inserted into this peaceful family?

But every time, deliberately pretending to raise her head unintentionally, she only got a smile like a warm sun on her face.

It even strikes me as miraculous.

The wonder of women.

—what my father didn't have.

"Aunt Matsumoto!" A girl's soft voice suddenly came from outside the door.I just looked up at the person who came, and stood there quietly.

"Yumiko!"

Fuji Yumiko, during the many days I stayed, whenever I could see Hiro-san, I could see her.They always look at each other before speaking, as if they can unify their thoughts with just one look.

I can't figure out their relationship. I haven't experienced that kind of relationship in my limited life, so I can't find a word to describe it.

"Hey? Is the honey sauce here too?" Yumiko's smile reminded me of the azaleas all over the mountains and plains I saw in China at the end of last spring.It's so bright that you can't even take your eyes off it.

I nodded.

"That's right, tomorrow weekend, Hiroshi and I want to take Honey Sauce, Zhou Zhu and Yuta to enjoy the cherry blossoms."

"Ah, that's right!" Aunt Matsumoto nodded quickly, then stroked my shoulder, and looked at me with a smile, "My child, you must be bored at home with me, Obasan."

In fact, when I am alone, I never feel bored, because those things that have no sound but are real are sometimes even more reassuring.

So the next day, I tugged at Aunt Matsumoto's skirt and shook my head, telling her I didn't want to go.

But Aunt Matsumoto still had a smile on her face:

"Honey sauce, "Hanami" is only available now!After the present, you have to wait another year. "

I was slightly taken aback.Then Aunt Matsumoto squatted down and winked at me playfully and said:

"I promise, the camera Mr. Mi-chan will also like Sakura!"

I looked at the gentle woman in front of me, and felt that the warm palm she was touching my forehead was very similar to the blurred figure in the flower field in my dream.

……

Hiro and Yumiko set up a picnic under a certain giant cherry blossom tree.

I walked towards the middle of the cherry blossom path alone.

This is the first time that I have so thoroughly felt the wonderful feeling of the word "hometown". The pink clouds that filled my eyes made my heart "puff puff" and I could even forget my fear of being in the flow of people.

This pink is bound to stick deep into my memory.

"Mi, are the cherry blossoms beautiful?" The smiling voice of someone beside me was just right in this cherry rain.

I was looking up at the flower branches reflecting the sky with my camera in my hand, and when I heard it, I immediately turned to the source of the sound, and the smiling boy suddenly appeared in the camera.The flickering blue in my eyes is like a delicate container condensed into the sky above my head, and this large expanse of pink even makes me press the shutter in a daze.

"..."

"Yes... I'm sorry!" I threw down the camera in a panic and said while pulling at the corner of my clothes.

"It's okay." The boy named Fuji Shusuke still smiled calmly, "It's just..." The boy looked at me with his chin in his hands, as if thinking, which made my nerves that had been relaxed before suddenly tense up again.

"..." I swallowed unnaturally.

"The pictures are mine."

"That's not okay!" Yes, all these photos, accidental, inevitable, satisfied, unsatisfied, I keep them because they are equally important.

"Eh? Can't you?" The boy looked at me slightly disappointed, and even made me wonder if I was being serious.

I nodded embarrassingly. On issues of principle, I never back down:

"Of course, you can also exchange the photos you took with me." After all, my eyes still deviated from the overly calm child in front of me. I couldn't guess his thoughts from the smiling face, which made me A little scared, "My father and I have always been like this."

"Ah, that's it." The boy nodded seriously after listening.

At this moment, a boy with a cross scar on his forehead happily ran over and grabbed his brother:

"Brother, come play with me! Sister Yumiko and Brother Hiro are too happy to talk to each other and ignore me!"

I looked at this pair of brothers, who had different looks, hairstyles, and clothes, but they were so close, and I couldn't help being stunned.I feel that I am isolated on the other side of the space, and the world on the opposite side is beyond my control.

But in the end, Fuji Shusuke raised his head and looked at me with a surprised expression:

"Honey, let's go together!"

……

On the day of "Hanami", Fuji Shusuke made a request to me, he said: "Honey, can I borrow this camera to take pictures of you, me and Yuta? I will exchange the pictures I took in the future. .”

I don't know why he wanted this kind of photo, but I knew that the camera has a time-lapse function, so I did as he asked.

Although I don't really like the feeling of being put into this small black box, I still barely squat beside Fuji Shusuke with the corner of my mouth shut.

A few days later, when the photo was developed, I discovered to my dismay that the moment the shutter was pressed, a falling cherry blossom petal happened to block the entire lens.The faces of the three people are not photographed at all, and we can barely see our hair, clothes, and movements through the gaps at the edges of the cherry blossom petals.

At that moment, I even hated that pink plant a little bit, although the reason is unknown.

After closing my eyes and being sad for a while, the blue sky that I stepped on the cherry blossom petals and looked up and saw most of it covered by cherry blossom clouds appeared in front of my eyes, so I exclaimed in my mind.

"Ah, that's right!"

I searched impatiently in those photos.

That one, that one, that one photo...! ! !

Among the layers of pink paper, I found out the unintentional work.

The corner of the boy's mouth turned up, the hair fluttering in the wind, and the pink background that flew instantly.

That was the light perception I adjusted for the blue sky above my head at that time, but it perfectly brought out the boy's gentle smile that looked like cherry rain, and most importantly, those pupils soaked in pure blue that could almost encompass the entire sky ...

3Chapter03. Rainy Sunset

The author has something to say:

Since that "Hanami", I haven't seen Brother Fuji much.

In mid-April 1991, I prepared to enter school for the first time.

Aunt Matsumoto told me that I can meet many children of my age at school, and we can read books and play games together, but I don’t expect that from the bottom of my heart. On the contrary, fear once again fills my heart.

Sometimes I see sister Yumiko.She said, "Zhou Zhu is also going to enter elementary school this year. I wonder if Hemi's school is the same?".

Of course, the result was not so ideal. Considering that Uncle Matsumoto’s work was on the way, I was arranged to go to a school close to his uncle’s work, so that my uncle could pick me up and drop me off at school every day.And Er Zhouzhu went to another school.

As time went by, I gradually adapted to school life and made a few friends at school.On the contrary, sister Yumiko came to our house less and less frequently. Aunt Matsumoto said that sister Yumiko was doing her best to prepare for the entrance examination.In this way, I rarely even see the two brothers.Only one year after entering school, I learned from my aunt that the younger brother of the Fuji family also entered the same elementary school as his elder brother.

My elementary school life was going well, although the class teacher would sometimes find Aunt Matsumoto and say, "This child is too introverted."Aunt Matsumoto is very lenient, she never blames me, my grades are not bad, Aunt Matsumoto always silently encourages me behind me.

Uncle Matsumoto is a man of few words, but he is extremely careful in his work.Every time I pick me up from school, I will always give me a small box of hot octopus balls, or monjayaki, or tempura, in case I will starve before I go home.

All this almost made me forget the back view of my father leaving, and myself who used to cry bitterly.

……

That year my country was in the fourth grade, and my legs were always cramping because of my height.

One day in late spring and early summer, my uncle was unable to pick me up because of a sudden illness.In fact, I have become a lot more independent, and I can still go home by car.So I said to Uncle Matsumoto, "It doesn't matter if I go home alone today."

But unfortunately, there was a thunderstorm when school was over.We were trapped in front of the teaching building, and many girls of the same age saw the white sword protruding from the dense dark clouds in the sky, and they all screamed in fear.

I'm not very afraid of the rumbling thunder. Compared with the lightning and thunder, these majestic raindrops touch my heartstrings more.

After coming to Tokyo, I found it strange that everything here is so exquisite.No matter the buildings, plants or people's way of life, they are all so neat and unified, just like being framed in matt.This is necessary in a civilized society, but it makes me feel infinitely depressed.

Only at this time, when those natural primitive expressions are revealed, do I feel at ease from the bottom of my heart.

Looking at the pouring rain, I actually