half blind

"Don't make trouble!" Zhang Qing slapped Zhou Nanchen's hand off in displeasure, "No one can tell whether you are a finger or a toe."

After finishing speaking, Zhang Qing seemed to be poked by a strange laugh, shaking all over from laughing, and finally fell on Zhou Nanchen's shoulder while rubbing his stomach.

"He also said that you were not drunk." Zhou Nanchen said helplessly, "I was afraid that you would know how to drink when you came."

"Why do I drink too much alcohol? I'm very happy!" Zhang Qing frowned displeasedly, and stretched out his hand to pinch Zhou Nanchen's face, "You are the only dead, human, and face in the audience, and you are dancing with sober tea Dee!"

"Hey, it hurts, it hurts, let go." Zhou Nanchen grinned and pulled Zhang Qing's hand off.

"Just, no, let it go!" Zhang Qing tugged again, then laid his head on Zhou Nanchen's lap.

"I won't let go." Zhang Qing's voice was low, and he didn't know whether he was talking to Zhou Nanchen or talking to himself.

Although the crowd here is as crowded as a wave, Zhang Qing doesn't need to worry about being recognized, and doesn't need to use a hypocritical face to deal with the public.Everyone here is only looking out for themselves, and everyone is going on a selfish carnival.

Zhou Nanchen didn't speak, he reached out his hand into Zhang Qing's hair and stroked it slowly, "I won't leave."

Zhang Qing slapped Zhou Nanchen's hand off, but continued to bury his head in his arms.

Zhou Nanchen reached out to touch him again, but Zhang Qing patted him off again.

"Why are you angry?" Zhou Nanchen smiled, and stretched out his hand again, only to be slapped hard by Zhang Qing.

"What's the matter?" Zhou Nanchen had no choice but to put his arms around Zhang Qing, cleared his throat, and spoke like a straight man coaxing his girlfriend, "What's the matter, baby? Do you want the stars or the moon?"

Zhang Qing was overwhelmed by this sentence, burst out laughing, raised his hand and punched him, "Fuck, you are sick."

"Do you want the stars or the moon? I'll pick them for you right now." Zhou Nanchen smiled.

"I don't want any, I want—" Zhang Qing turned over, hugged Zhou Nanchen's waist, and looked up at him lazily, "I want you to draw a picture for me."

Zhou Nanchen's smile froze for a moment, but then he smiled briskly, "The moon and the stars are more realistic. Before you go to the next crew, I'll design a set of handsome clothes for you—" —”

Zhou Nanchen's eyes at that moment stabbed Zhang Qing fiercely, and the anger that had been suppressed for a long time was vented out through alcohol, "Zhou Nanchen, your life is not for me!"

Zhou Nanchen's eyes widened in surprise, and his eyelashes fluttered.

"Don't say nonsense that you are sorry for me, so now you have to make up for it. You are my colleague, classmate, and boyfriend, and you are not my servant!" Zhang Qing punched hard on the sofa, " Why do you have to give up your dream in the name of me?"

Zhou Nanchen didn't speak, the harsh music in the disco was still playing, but the deathly silence froze between the two of them.

Zhang Qing reached out and rubbed his face vigorously a few times, took a bottle of wine and opened it, filled the glass in front of him, poured another glass and pushed it in front of Zhou Nanchen, "You know the reason why I sang that song on stage today Now, what are you thinking?"

"……what?"

"I'm thinking, I'm really a very lucky person." Zhang Qing said slowly, "When I was on the brink of death, it was you who pulled me back, not just that time, but every time. Even when you are not around, thinking of you gives me courage. I will think, what would he do if it were him? He will definitely not give up like this, he will definitely try his best to find a breakthrough point and finally overcome the difficulties , because you've always done that."

"When I was running away from home, when I was suffering from anxiety attacks in college, when I was rolling in the mud playing tricks and corpses, you saved me, you put me in this life The disgusted person was pulled back from the brink of death." Zhang Qing's eyes were flushed, "Because I believe that you will never give up your dreams, and you will never bow to fate."

"I didn't give up on my dream, it was my dream that gave up on me." Zhou Nanchen said in a low voice, "I told you, I can't draw anymore."

"Really? Is it really like this?" Zhang Qing raised his voice, "Isn't costume design a painting? Isn't the sub-camera that I asked you to help draw a painting? Or do you just want others to see you standing with me? Let out a nasty laugh, think you are a little boy who was raised by me?"

There was a dead silence in the air, and the deafening music seemed far, far away from them.

"Do you think I want this?"

Zhou Nanchen opened his mouth softly, the voice was so low that it would almost dissipate into the air if he didn't pay attention.

"Do you think I want to make up and style people for the rest of my life? Do you think I want to be your little boy all the time and don't want to pick up a paintbrush?"

Zhang Qing buried his face between his palms, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm drunk..."

Zhou Nanchen sighed, "You saw the painting I drew for Xuanxuan."

"Although it's just a stick figure for children, it's still a painting, right?" Zhang Qing suddenly raised her head, "Since you can help Xuanxuan draw, it means that the possibility of you picking up a brush again is not zero. , you still have great hope of recovering!"

Zhou Nanchen didn't speak. He took out a signature pen from his pocket, grabbed a napkin, and quickly drew a simple cartoon bear on it.

Zhang Qing was taken aback.

Then he drew a cartoon sun and a cartoon tree next to the cartoon bear.

"I've always been able to draw cartoons." Zhou Nanchen raised his head and put the cap on the pen, "I don't know why, maybe it's because cartoons are the farthest from reality, and they won't scare me."

"..." Zhang Qing didn't know what to say for a moment.

"But as long as I draw a painting with a higher degree of completion than this, my hands will shake, I will not be able to hold the pen steadily, and I will even feel dizzy." Zhou Nanchen said calmly, "I used to try very hard to draw. Locking myself in the room, forcing myself to face a drawing board all day, until I passed out and the neighbor called the police for me, and then I was rescued from the room. Later, this effort seemed to backfire, For a while I couldn't even hold a pen, and I would tremble when I saw sharp objects."

Zhang Qing was taken aback, and a strong sense of remorse suddenly surged in his chest. He hugged Zhou Nanchen tightly, "I'm sorry, I was drunk, I was just talking nonsense, even if you are a stylist, you are a very good person." The stylist—"

Zhou Nanchen smiled and patted Zhang Qing on the back, "But you are right. I did give up."

"..."

"I was afraid that I would never be able to paint again, but what I was even more afraid of was that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be able to pick up a paintbrush." ​​Zhou Nanchen laughed at himself, "So I just ran away and didn't think about it anymore. Just pretend it never existed, just pretend I never loved it. You said I pulled you back from the brink of death, but it was you who pulled me back from the edge of the cliff. I'm not good, and I don't have courage , compared to you, I'm just a cowardly coward. I don't have the courage to face the cruelty you have faced, and I can't do any of the brave decisions you made."

"Don't say that about yourself."

"It's all true." Zhou Nanchen shook his head, "I don't believe in myself, and I don't believe that I can break through the psychological barrier. Originally, this was already a certainty for me. But..."

Zhou Nanchen smiled, stretched out his hand and pinched Zhang Qing's face, "Looking at you on the stage recently, I seem to be a little unwilling again. You on the stage are full of charm, and the whole person is shining. People can understand the pain, but they can still show the most glorious side to everyone."

I still don't trust myself, but maybe, this time, I can try to trust you.

Zhang Qing sighed, "Is this some kind of business meeting between the two of us?"

"In the disco."

"A heart-to-heart meeting in a disco."

Unanimously, the two burst out laughing at the same time.

Zhang Qing cleared his throat, "Although I have said almost what I have to say, I still want to say one thing in the end, I definitely don't mean to force you to draw, I just..."

"I know." Zhou Nanchen leaned down and kissed Zhang Qing's lips.

Zhang Qing's heart skipped a beat. There were a lot of drunks in the disco, stumbling around after drinking, and there were not a few people of the same sex cuddling.

But kissing...is it a little too much?No one will notice them, will they?

Zhang Qing looked around nervously and quickly, the deafening music was still playing, the lights of the disco ball were still flashing as usual, no one looked this way.

"hiss--"

There was a sudden pain on his lips, and Zhou Nanchen bit him.

"You're not paying attention." Zhou Nanchen's deep voice lingered in Zhang Qing's ear.

"I didn't..." Zhang Qing still wanted to argue, but Zhou Nanchen had already sealed his lips, forcing him to open his teeth skillfully, and then there was an overwhelmingly passionate French tongue kiss.

Zhang Qing is a healthy adult man.A little bit drunk, but not quite drunk; with a basic sense of shame, but like everyone else in this utopia of carousing, he packed up his brains and sent them to Mauritius.

So naturally, he raised the flag under Zhou Nanchen's passionate kiss.

In the process of kissing in a daze, Zhang Qing suddenly heard Zhou Nanchen chuckle in a nasal voice.He was stunned for two seconds before he realized that Zhou Nanchen's knee had somehow pressed against his lower body.

"You, what are you going to do?" A bad premonition rose in Zhang Qing's heart.

Zhou Nanchen didn't speak, but kissed him while reaching out his hand.The hand holding the makeup brush and the paintbrush deftly unbuttoned his trousers.

Then there's the zipper.

"Are you crazy?" Zhang Qing struggled with staring eyes, "It's not working here!"

"If you can't, just shout molestation." Zhou Nanchen didn't stop at all, and after saying this, he went to Zhang Qing's ear and licked and bit his earlobe.

At the same time, his hands were also stuck in his pants.