half blind

In the morning, Zhang Qing was awakened by the cries of seagulls.He opened his eyes, and he was stunned for a long time before realizing where he was.

The cave that was submerged in darkness last night became brighter now.The bonfire that burned out last night was piled beside Zhang Qing, and the clothes were already on him at some point.

Zhang Qing stretched his waist, feeling that his physical condition was much better than before.He was just about to stand up, but he felt a sharp pain in his right ankle, and then he remembered that he twisted his ankle when he fell on the tree.

I couldn't feel it last night because I was too tired, but now it hurts when I move.

Zhang Qing looked around, Zhou Nanchen was not in the cave.He stood up and supported the cave wall, hopped a few times on one foot, found a broken wooden branch, leaned on it and limped towards the entrance of the cave.

The sun was a bit harsh, Zhang Qing raised his arm to cover his eyes, and it took a while to get used to it.

The ferocious sea under the night is peaceful and quiet at this moment, with the waves beating on the reef and raising snow-white foam.

In the distance, the white clouds meet the sea level, and the seagulls float and hover between the two blue colors, their calls can be heard far away.

Zhou Nanchen stood on a rock, his upper body was naked, his trouser legs were rolled up high, and he was holding a cut wooden stick in his hand, staring intently at the sea.

A wave beat over, Zhou Nanchen suddenly poked down the wooden stick in his hand, and the small piece of water turned up a violent splash.Zhou Nanchen waited patiently, and did not lift the wooden stick until the water splashed less.

A silver-white fish was inserted into the tip of the stick, and the scales of the fish shone brightly under the refraction of the light.

"Zhou Nanchen!" Zhang Qing shouted.

Zhou Nanchen turned his head, smiled, took off the fish on the stick, and shook it at Chaozhang as if showing off.

"Zhou Nanchen, you lied to me!" Zhang Qing shouted.

"What?" Zhou Nanchen couldn't hear it because it was too far away.

But Zhang Qing didn't repeat it anymore, just looked at him and smiled.

So Zhou Nanchen, holding a fish in one hand and a wooden stick in the other, jumped over a few rocks next to each other, and shouted at Zhang Qing: "Go on!"

Zhang Qing was caught off guard, threw the crutch aside, and stretched out his hands to pick it up.The next second, the fish fell to his feet, struggling to flap its tail.

"You don't even want to throw it to me!" Zhang Qing glared at him.

Zhou Nanchen jumped into the water with a smile, swam out of the water like a fish, and raised his head at Zhang Qing's feet as if asking for credit, "How is it?"

Zhang Qing looked at him funny, "Why do you look like a water monkey? This is what you learned from your grandma when you were young?"

"This is what my dad taught me in Hawaii when I was a child." Zhou Nanchen wiped the water on his face.

"Get out." Looking at that face, Zhang Qing wanted to kick him back into the water.

Zhou Nanchen climbed ashore with a smile, "How do you feel?"

"Butt hurts." Zhang Qing said.

"..." Zhou Nanchen was speechless for a while, "I didn't go in at all last night, where did your butt hurt?"

"Okay." Zhang Qing burst out laughing, "I just want to tease you."

"Ask you serious." Zhou Nanchen didn't talk to him too much, and put his forehead against Zhang Qing's, "At least the fever has subsided a little."

"I'm fine." Zhang Qing kissed Zhou Nanchen on the cheek, "It's just that my foot hurts a little, probably because I sprained it earlier."

Zhou Nanchen sighed, "You take a break, I'll get you something to eat."

"Thank you husband, my husband is so kind." Zhang Qing pinched his throat.

"Fuck off."

Zhang Qing giggled non-stop, and suddenly felt very happy.Although he walked on the edge of life and death, he saw another side of Zhou Nanchen.In a sense, it's worth it.

Zhou Nanchen went outside to hold a bunch of dead branches again, lit a fire, washed the fish stuck in it, strung it on a wooden stick again, and put it on the fire to roast.

"So, what do you think I lied to you?" Zhou Nanchen said suddenly while grilling the fish.

Zhang Qing smiled, "Didn't you hear that?"

"Say it."

"I said." Zhang Qing adjusted his posture, leaning closer to Zhou Nanchen, "I always thought that I was the one who chased after you when we fell in love, but you actually fell in love with me long before the roof. "

Zhou Nanchen was taken aback, "What?"

"Forgot? Let me remind you." Zhang Qing leaned closer to Zhou Nanchen, "School starts, the bar, and someone's sneaky painting."

Zhou Nanchen was stunned for a while, and then laughed out loud, obviously remembering.

"Wait a minute, Mr. Zhang." Zhou Nanchen said with a smile, "I was sneaking around? I don't know who took advantage of the wine to forcefully kiss someone."

"Shut up." Zhang Qing said displeasedly, "I was drunk at the time, and I couldn't remember anything when I woke up the next day. The question is, how could you not tell me about such a thing for so many years? ?”

"You haven't asked either." Zhou Nanchen said with a smile.

"Fuck, I'm so drunk that I don't even know my own mother and I'm asking you?" Zhang Qing kicked him, "Okay, you scumbag, if I can't remember, are you going to keep me in the dark for the rest of my life?" inside?"

Zhou Nanchen hid it with a smile, "No, no. What I'm going to tell you is that I've been too busy recently, so I can't remember."

"Please tell me the truth." Zhang Qing tilted his legs and looked like an interrogator, "Did you fall in love with me since then?"

"Yes—" Zhou Nanchen dragged his voice, and turned the grilled fish over.

"Ah, it's so embarrassing." Zhang Qing buried his face in the palms of his hands, "How could I still drink to my relatives at that time? You must have been taken aback at the time, thinking that this person is crazy."

"I was taken aback, but I didn't think you were crazy." Zhou Nanchen smiled, "I'm not like you, I haven't been entangled with my sexual orientation. So I was just thinking, my life is worth it, To die under a peony flower and be a ghost is also romantic."

"Pervert!" Zhang Qing laughed.

"Okay." Zhou Nanchen picked up the fish from the fire and blew it, "Peel off the burnt skin on the outside, and the meat inside will be tender."

Zhang Qing took the grilled fish and blew on it for a long time, taking a big bite, "Mmm... delicious!"

"Eat it while it's hot. It's a pity that the fish we inserted yesterday were much bigger than this, and they were fat and big. You didn't eat them."

"Just wait and see how I deal with that bastard Bai Mahuai after I go up."

Zhou Nanchen brought the topic back.

"Why do you suddenly remember something from so long ago?"

"I had a dream." Zhang Qing swallowed the fish and said, "I suddenly remembered it."

"Since it's a dream, how do you know it's a real memory?"

"I know you too well." Zhang Qing said with a smile, "That obsessive way of drawing with your head down, and the mouth that makes people unable to talk... The most important thing is that you draw me so beautifully. How can I dream it."

Zhou Nanchen clicked his tongue, "Some people still say I'm glib."

"Hey, I'm serious." Zhang Qing dissatisfied, "What did I think at the time... I was completely amazed by your painting at the time, I never thought that a high school student could draw people so well Vivid. I thought, no, this handsome guy will be the contemporary Rembrandt in the future. I can’t let this handsome handsome boy slip away from my nose. When he becomes famous, I can still brag to others—see , I kissed the great painter!"

"Yes, yes, eat your fish quickly, it will be cold in a while." Zhou Nanchen stood up from the campfire and rubbed his thighs.

"What are you going to do? Don't you want to eat?" Zhang Qing held out the grilled fish in his hand to him.

"I'm going to see if there is a place where I can call for help, and by the way, see if I can find anything else to eat." Zhou Nanchen walked out of the cave.

Zhang Qing fell silent, watching Zhou Nanchen walk away.

Sometimes Zhou Nanchen thinks that his emotions are always covered up very well. In fact, Zhang Qing has noticed that whenever he wants to hide his negative emotions, he will make small movements such as rubbing his legs.

However, Zhou Nanchen's investigation did not go smoothly.The cave they were in happened to be embedded in the cliff, and it was impossible to see it from the top of the cliff.And the distance between the cave and the top of the cliff is too far, and it is impossible for people on the shore to notice it without signal flares.

It's even possible that they've already searched here several times without success.

And the most terrible problem is fresh water.

Before on the island, all of them drank the mineral water prepared by the program group, but now the two of them are living in a cave by the sea, with nothing but the endless sea.

The good feeling when he first woke up in the morning quickly disappeared with the lack of water, and Zhang Qing fell into a coma of consciousness again not long after.

When he woke up again, Zhou Nanchen was sitting beside him playing with the knife. The sky was overcast, so Zhang Qing thought it was night at first.

"Did I sleep all day?"

"No, it's cloudy." Zhou Nanchen's complexion was no better than Zhang Qing's, his skin was pale, and his lips were dry due to lack of water. "That is to say, it will probably rain soon."

If there is rain, the probability of their survival is greatly improved.Zhang Qingqiang cheered up and smiled at Zhou Nanchen, "That's great."

"You'll be fine if you sleep for a while, I'll fetch water later." Zhou Nanchen shook half a dry coconut shell in his hand.

"Where did you get this?"

"It's on the reef over there." Zhou Nanchen pouted, "I picked it up."

"Don't lie." Zhang Qing held Zhou Nanchen's hand, which was covered with small bloody wounds, "Can't you pick it up among the knives?"

"..." Zhou Nanchen was silent for a while, "I want to try to climb the cliff, but it's still too difficult, and the dead vines on it can't catch it at all. But once I fell down, I found that a coconut shell also fell off. Coming down, it’s a blessing in disguise.”

"What a blessing in disguise! Is your brain flooded?" Zhang Qing clenched Zhou Nanchen's hand in pain, and the latter let out a soft cry of pain.

"Try it, it's better than doing nothing." Zhou Nanchen said, "We just have a bowl."

Zhang Qing sighed, leaned his head on Zhou Nanchen's shoulder, and asked, "Why did you choose to paint?"

Zhou Nanchen was taken aback for a moment, then smiled, "Anyway, I don't draw anymore now."

"I don't care about you now, I just want to know you back then."

Zhou Nanchen didn't speak for a long time, and for a while, he could only hear the turbulent waves outside the cave and their breathing.

Just when Zhang Qing thought that Zhou Nanchen was going to avoid this topic again, he spoke.

"At first, I was just... confused."

"What?" Zhang Qing didn't understand.

"When I was a child, I was often puzzled why people didn't pay attention to those beautiful scenes." Zhou Nanchen said, "The sky, the street, sometimes it's a leaf, sometimes it's a bird parked in the sunset. I am confused because grown-ups often walk past these views without looking away, and sometimes they don't understand when I point them out."

Zhang Qing blinked.

"So when I was a child, I felt that I had a superpower. I could see things that others couldn't see. Since my mother kept saying that I picked it up from the trash can, I was very confident at the time and felt that I was an alien wandering on the earth. " Zhou Nanchen laughed lightly, "Later, I started to try to translate for the 'lower' earthlings. I drew the scenery I saw on paper and showed it to my father. He was very happy after seeing it. , I always praised my good-looking paintings, and showed them to others everywhere. After that, I became very confident in painting, and I think I am the best translator in the universe.”

Zhang Qing couldn't help but laugh, "Yes, you are the most powerful little alien in the universe."

"Drawing was really fun at that time, because I thought painting was something that could make myself and others happy. But now I find that it can do everything but bring bad luck to those around me not."

"How can—" Zhang Qing wanted to refute, but was interrupted by Zhou Nanchen.

"My dad is very supportive of my painting." He said, "He thinks his son is a painting genius, so he bought me a lot of paints and brushes when he was a child, and invited a famous painting teacher in Huaishui to give me a lot of paint. One-to-one tutoring. However, our family is not that rich, so for these extra expenses, my dad has to pick up some remote and dangerous jobs. If I don't paint, he won't be like this die abroad."

Zhang Qing's eyes widened, "How can this be your fault? Your father hopes that you will get better and better in the future, not—"

"What about my mother?" Zhou Nanchen interrupted him, "If I wasn't painting at the time, my mother probably wouldn't have died. You can't deny this, can you?"

"Didn't the hospital say that even if it is discovered on the spot, the possibility of being rescued is not great?" Zhang Qing raised his voice a little, "Besides, their affairs are over long ago. You have to use the tragedy of the past to destroy yourself. Are you bound now? You are with me now, I am not your father, nor your mother!"

"It's because I stopped painting that I was able to meet you again!" Zhou Nanchen stood up suddenly and shouted at Zhang Qing, "I can be your stylist, be on the same crew as you, and stand by your side! "

Zhang Qing's ears buzzed for a while, and his head was a little dazed.

"It's because I stopped painting that I can stay by your side." Zhou Nanchen's tone was mixed with a hint of collapse, "If I continue to paint, I won't even be able to meet you again."

Zhang Qing's brain was in a mess, but he still felt that there was something wrong with Zhou Nanchen's logic based on his intuition.

Zhou Nanchen leaned his back against the cave wall and slumped down slowly until he sat on the ground.Even under the cloudy and dim light, Zhang Qing still saw the sparkle on Zhou Nanchen's cheek.

He cried.

"On your birthday, you asked me if I was afraid of anything, remember?" Zhou Nanchen said softly.

"Remember." Zhang Qing felt as if a ball of cotton was stuck in his throat.

"I have. I am afraid that the person I love will leave me, and I am afraid of living alone in the world." Zhou Nanchen raised his head and looked at Zhang Qing, "I am afraid that I will not be able to keep up with you, and that I will be left behind by you." Behind. If there is such a day, I will go crazy."

He finally knew what the problem in Zhou Nanchen's words was.

No, it shouldn't be like this.

Happiness should not come at the cost of losing it.No way.