[Rat and Cat] Serious Crime Team

Zhan Zhao Diary

Destiny is not chance, but choice.

—JE Dinger

May 2013, 4 sunny

Bai Yutang came to me suddenly today, and he told me Jiping's final verdict. Although I don't know why he made the trip in person, it was a very happy thing for him to come. And at the end there's that kind of change that I can't understand.

In my life, Shui Jiping is a very special existence.In my lonely college career, she was a rare warm color.It's not that I haven't imagined whether we would still be together today if we had other choices.But in the past, she didn't give me a chance to choose, and the path she chose for herself was good, but she went astray by herself.

What does a ten-year sentence mean to a young woman?Although it cannot be compared with the death penalty, I still feel very sad.In three years, things have changed.Fate makes people, we will never know what kind of stranger we will meet tomorrow, and whether we will fall in love with him or not.When I first met Jiping, I didn't know what love is. When we met again three years later, I felt that I understood a little bit.

I have been lying in bed for a long time tonight, and I, who usually sleep well, have suffered from insomnia.After tossing and turning for an hour, I got up in the early hours of the morning, turned on the computer, and was about to write something, but found that my mind was extremely confused.The case is over, although it can be regarded as a major case in terms of scale and influence.Bai Yutang and I participated in the whole process of the case, and were even drugged for the purpose of investigating the case.Looking back now, I have paid a lot for this case, but when I was really asked to write a few sentences about the conclusion of this case, I suddenly felt that I had nothing to say.

Both the mastermind and the accomplice in this case have a single psychological state, that is, greed and indulgence.Their thinking has fallen into a pathology, and they have ignored all moral and legal bottom lines in pursuit of drugs and money.During the month at Bai Yutang's house, I read a lot of materials related to drug trafficking and drug use. The more I knew about this form of crime, the heavier my heart became.In my impression, the last time I felt this way was when I visited a mental hospital. The feeling that there is no normal person around makes people feel fear and coldness from the bottom of their hearts.After watching those documentaries, I only have one feeling, that is, every anti-narcotics policeman is a hero, they are people who deal with demons, and their work is more dangerous and admirable than us behavioral researchers.

I don't have anything to say about the case. Perhaps, as Bai Yutang said, the work of the police is so dangerous, and they may die at any time, or experience many unpredictable dangers.But with the in-depth contact with these jobs, I found that my idea of ​​being a policeman became stronger day by day.I once mentioned this idea to my master. He meant to see my own choice, but no matter what job I would like to do after graduation, I must first complete my studies at University A.Speaking of this, I feel a little ashamed. When I saw my senior sister yesterday, she teased me and said that if I continue to hang around like this, I may have to postpone my graduation.

The master found me an opportunity to go abroad for a meeting, and I will fly to the United States a week later.Bai Yutang came to see me today, and I planned to tell him about it, but in the end we had a fight, so I didn't have time to tell him.Alas, this quarrel is really inexplicable.I still can't figure out why he reacted so violently.

I remember clearly that when I first came to look for him, I saw his white clothes covered with black dirt and his cell phone thrown on the ground. state.At that moment, my heart was like being stabbed by a knife.I thought of my eldest brother, he was originally a gentle and good person, but because of schizophrenia, he was in his prime and couldn't do anything.Whenever I see him being tortured by the disease, I feel deeply guilty, because he had many pre-symptoms when he was not sick, and I didn't notice it at all.It was my negligence and ignorance that caused his current irreversible condition. He is only in his 30s now, and even with active treatment and extensive recuperation, his condition can only be brought under control.This disease will continue to worsen with age, and no one can estimate to what extent it will eventually develop.

Now let me imagine if one day my eldest brother would not recognize me, or even my parents.No, I can't imagine like this, it's too cruel for big brother.In the treatment of mental illness, the role of medicine is too weak, and most mental illnesses are irreversible.My elder brother is already like this, and I will never allow another person by my side to suffer like this.

From that day on, I have been thinking about one thing, how to help Bai Yutang.I asked the master, checked a lot of information myself, and later persuaded Bai Yutang many times.A month ago, at the beginning of the Wu Minshan serial bombings, I had an in-depth conversation with Bai Yutang at his home.He once told me personally that he is willing to accept psychotherapy.And at that time, he also made it clear that he was willing to tell all the psychological trauma that happened to him.A month ago, he was willing to talk, why did he oppose it so fiercely a month later?

What had happened to him in the past month?Could it be that something went wrong during the treatment?I called the master just now, and he didn't disclose the details of Bai Yutang's treatment to me, but he told me clearly that everything went well with Bai Yutang's treatment device.The master reminded me that maybe Bai Yutang's attitude was not because of the trauma itself, but because of the relationship between me and him.The master asked me to think carefully about the details of my contact with Bai Yutang in the past month, and every word Bai Yutang said just before he got angry.

I tried my best to recall, but too many things happened in the past month, especially between me and Bai Yutang.And the worst part is that a lot of things happened while I was unconscious, and most of my memories of the night after being drugged are fragmented.I only remember that Bai Yutang took care of me, but I don't know the specific details.Every time I ask him, he hesitates and refuses to elaborate. Is it because something important happened that day?But what does this have to do with Bai Yutang's psychological trauma?I really can't figure it out.

Speaking of what he said just before he got angry, I only remember one sentence deeply.He said he didn't want me to see the fragile Bai Yutang.But my major is psychology. Human psychology is inherently fragile, but it seems that you will never know how fragile a person's psychology will be, and you also cannot predict how strong a person can be.Doesn't Bai Yutang understand that even if he tells me about his previous fragility in front of me, it will definitely not affect my judgment and cognition of him as a person.

He is a strong person in my mind, a brave person, and a strong person.Even though his heart has been traumatized, I still wouldn't use the word fragile to describe him.Could this be the reason for his anger?Did my attitude hurt him?If this is the answer, how do I ease our relationship?

Bai Yutang, you are really an incomprehensible person, and also a headache.In my opinion, although your attitude is understandable, it is really a bit unreasonable.Do you even consider me your friend?Is it only normal for me as a friend to just stand by and watch you feel pain?Would you like to see me be indifferent to your fragility and ignore it?

Unfortunately, I will not do as you wish.I can't imagine that one day the tragedy of big brother will happen to you again. Even if you hate me, I will pester you and force you to tell the truth.I know that you must hate me very much now, so I will stay away from you for a while, and when you figure it out, you will definitely understand my feelings.

There are only a few days left before the plane takes off next week, and this meeting will last for a week.I hope Bai Yutang has figured it out when I come back, but if he is still stubborn by then, I will go to him and make it clear, even if there is another fight.

My heart was in a mess, and I didn't want to write anything, but suddenly I remembered something that made me think for a long time but still haven't come to a conclusion.

Who was the person who showed up at Bai Yutang's house that day and delivered me a cardboard box?Although I only saw his back, I'm sure it was a man, tall and burly.I saw that figure twice, one time when collecting cardboard boxes, and the other time at the scene of the arrest at the Jinyuan Hotel.He showed up twice, the first time to deliver a message to me, and the second time to lure me away from the drug hall full of dealers.

Who is he?How did he know about the drug party, and why did he pass it on to me?How did he know that I was investigating this matter, and why did he hide his head and show his tail, and did his job helping the police solve the case but refused to show his face?All of this is very suspicious. I have never been able to figure out the origin of this person, and I certainly do not know such a person in my memory.

Now that Bai Yutang knew about the existence of this person, I also told Brother Bao about the situation, and the two of them couldn't figure out who this person was just like me.Bai Yutang checked the surveillance video near his home, and sure enough, he found the figure of this man.But in the video footage, he also covered his face in broad daylight. The video showed that he had appeared around Bai Yutang's house for several consecutive days, but he never appeared again after delivering the cardboard box to me.There is reason to believe that this man is after me, but why didn't he come to me directly?Don't play tricks like this.

Too many strange things really happened in the past month. First, that girl Ding Yuehua actually set up an official website for me, then Bai Yutang got angry at me for no reason, and finally this mysterious man.I don't know when he will appear again, although I don't know who he is or what he looks like, but I feel intuitively that he doesn't look like a bad person.

Looking out the window, it was dawn before I knew it, and I didn’t sleep all night. I wrote a short diary all night, but when I looked back, I found that there was no valuable content in it.I don't know if Bai Yutang couldn't sleep that night like me.

Forget it, I hope he won't be like me.

Bai Yutang, counting it, I will be back in ten days.

Goodbye.

The author has something to say: enter the next case tomorrow, the two who are at odds will quickly reconcile, and there will be a scene where everyone likes the hero to save the beauty. . .

[Season 1, Episode 7: Speed ​​of Life and Death]