I'm a scumbag

My parents still live in that old house, but they have changed from the owner to the tenant. My uncle hasn't done too much yet.All the things that could be sold in the house were sold, and it was empty and deserted. This house no longer felt like a home.

Fortunately, the mother is still there, the father is still there, and the younger sister who has recovered will call back on time, and the whole family is safe and sound.My mother said that as long as there is life, there is hope!I also firmly believe in this sentence.

It's just that something seems to have changed unconsciously, from the moment I stepped into the house.

I haven't seen each other for a long time, but the moment my mother saw me, she didn't have the joy and excitement of the past, and the coldness made me feel strange.She didn't even ask me why I came back suddenly, why I lost my job.

This unusual atmosphere lasted for several days until that day:

The little brother from the neighbor’s house rushed over happily when he saw me, hugged my leg and called me big brother, asking me for candy as usual.What I didn't expect was that the neighbors who had been getting along well on weekdays dragged the child back as if they had seen a ghost, and looked at me warily, with disgust and contempt on their faces.I vaguely heard her warning in a deliberately low voice, "He's dirty, stay away from him in the future!"

My whole body was stiff, as if someone had poured a large basin of dirty water from head to toe. I really didn't understand why she used the word "dirty" to describe me, let alone what I did wrong?

That night, I accidentally discovered that the bowls and chopsticks that my mother had prepared for me in the past few days were all the same set, and they even had to be cleaned separately.

Suddenly I seemed to understand something. After I came back, the people in the village looked at me, talked in a low voice, deliberately alienated, even being rejected as a long-term worker, and my mother’s attitude towards me, as if I With some nasty contagion.

"Mom, did you hear what others said?" Mother's body stiffened and she put the pair of bowls and chopsticks into a separate cabinet unnaturally, then shook her head. "No, nothing."

"Don't listen to them gossip!"

"Xiao Kai, Mom doesn't believe what they said, but..."

"What did they say?"

"...they talk about you, about you and men..."

I was taken aback. I never thought that rumors could spread so fast. "Who did you listen to?" The only person in this village who works in the same place as me is Lin Zi. He wouldn't do that. Yes, I believe him.What's more, he never came back during this time.Then who else, who wants to ruin my reputation and drive me to death?

"I don't know who said it. Now everyone in the village is talking about you behind your back. Xiao Kai, tell mom the truth. Are you really with a man...?"

"Things are not what you think... Anyway, don't believe what they say."

"Xiao Kai, if this happens, you must tell your mom, even if you borrow money, your mom will see a doctor for you."

"Mom, what are you talking about, it's not a disease, it's... Forget it, I can't explain it to you."

"So those rumors outside are true? Xiao Kai, why are you so confused, how can you do such a shameful thing?"

"I didn't steal or rob, what's so embarrassing!"

"It's not shameful, you came back with a dirty disease, how can you go out to meet people in the future?"

"Mom, I'm not sick, he and I just..."

The mother suddenly thought of who he was, "Is that the one who went to the hospital with you? No wonder he always gets tired of being with you, so he has no good intentions!"

"Mom, it's not what you think. We just, just have a better relationship."

"Then why do people outside say that about you? Xiaokai, don't hide it from your mother. This is a disease and you need to be cured! ...Also, don't let your father know about this. Otherwise, he will beat you to death!"

I was so distraught that I didn't know how to explain this kind of thing to my old-fashioned mother, but my mother was right, and my father should never know about this kind of thing.This is a backward mountain village with pedantic thinking and outdated concepts. No old man will accept such "corruption" by his children.Whether he will beat me to death is secondary, I am more worried that he will break his body in anger.

It's a pity that I underestimated the penetrating power of these rumors. Even though my mother and I tried our best to conceal them, it didn't take long for my father to hear the wind.

That night, my father, who was paralyzed in bed, was furious. I knelt on the ground and silently accepted his punishment until the crutch that fell on me broke in two.

"I hope you can go out and start a career, so that your mother can live a good life, but you have hooked up with a man, and everyone knows about it!" You've lost all your face, why are you still here, why don't you die outside!" It's the first time you have scolded me with such unfeeling words, but your face is full of tears of hatred.

I had nothing to say, and I didn't know what to say. I knelt on the cold concrete floor and let him vent all his anger after beating and scolding.

All the organs in the chest cavity seemed to be ruptured, and I swallowed a few mouthfuls of congested blood in my throat. I hit my head with a stick, and my vision was blurred.I don’t feel much pain from old wounds and new wounds, at least it’s much lighter than the pain in my heart... But even here and now I don’t feel regretful, Han Yu is my life Beloved, even if he leaves me in the end, it won't change.I don't think falling in love with a man is an unacceptable wrong thing.

That night, my mother washed my wound while weeping, and my father looked at me with tears all over my body. The whole family spent the night in such an atmosphere.I know that even if I don't live up to it, even if I break their hearts, they will still not abandon me, because they are my closest relatives.

"Find a woman to marry, and carry on the family line of the Li family as soon as possible. After you give birth to a son, no one will gossip about you." The father thought about the result all night.

As if I was struck by lightning, I didn't understand the meaning of this sentence for a long time, "Dad, what are you talking about?"

"I'll let you find a woman to marry!"

I stood up abruptly, "No, I can't marry a woman."

"If you don't marry a woman, do you still want to marry a man? Do you want to piss me off?"

"I, I didn't mean that, how old am I, you let me get married?" I'm not yet 20 years old, how can I get married so easily, besides, I always have someone in my heart, even if he leaves me, even if He hurt me, and I can't forget him.I don't even want to find a woman I don't love to tie myself for the rest of my life and ruin her life.

"You, do you know what it means to be fearful? Have you heard how outsiders talk about you? They say you are disgusting, you are perverted, and you, you have love/love disease, and you have been sick all your life. It can't be cured. Where do you want me to put this old face? How do you want me to go out to meet people in the future?"

"Don't listen to their nonsense, there is nothing at all, those are all rumors, I am in good health, and I don't have any diseases!"

"Then find a woman to marry and prove it to them!"

"dad......!"

"Xiao Kai, do you want to piss your dad off?" My mother secretly pulled my sleeve to make me shut up, and I knew that the anger my father had just extinguished would come back up again.But how can I be at the mercy of others at this time, this is a decision that will affect my life.

"Anyway, I can't get married right now!"

"You can't decide this matter!"

"dad!"

"shut up!"

I shut my mouth, the expression on my face was full of resistance, my father swallowed a handful of pills, and told me: "You have to marry this marriage, or you have to get married if you don't! Otherwise, you will leave this house and never come back!"

I thought it was just a moment of anger from my father, but I didn't expect that that afternoon he would ask someone from my relationship to find a marriage partner for me.There are no requirements, as long as it is a woman.

Covered in wounds, I was locked in the room by my mother, helplessly watching the people coming and going outside.All the matchmakers politely refused, saying that there was no suitable match, but their faces were full of embarrassment.

Later, I stopped resisting and lay on the kang to rest my wounds, because my notoriety had spread far and wide, and no parents were willing to marry their daughters to me.Father's wishful thinking seems to be in vain.

It's a pity that I forgot a truth: there are always exceptions to everything!

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