I'm a scumbag

Surviving a catastrophe, but I feel worse than dying!

Lin Zi was the one who took me to the hospital, and he was the one who took care of me.I don't know if those people called Lin Zi because they were afraid that I would really die in there, or if he followed me quietly all the time and didn't go back at all.I think the latter is more likely, because my position in his heart is as important as his position in mine.

When I opened my eyes, it was already the afternoon of the second day, and he was still busy running back and forth beside me.

"Where are Han and Han Yu?"

Lin Zi turned his head and glared at me. There was no contempt in his eyes but a look of hatred, "Take care of yourself first!"

I struggled to get up, my brain hurt like it had been cut open and put back in again.But I can't care so much, I want to save him, I can't let him fall into Gu Feng's hands.

"Are you looking for death?" Lin Zi pushed me back immediately, "If you don't die, burn the incense, and make bloody troubles!"

"It's my brother, so don't stop me!" I didn't have any strength to speak at all, and my strength was almost dead.

No wonder Lin Zi dared to yell at me, "Want to come to ask for someone? Don't you see what Gu Feng is doing? Are you courting death if you fight with him?...Tell you, he didn't beat you up yesterday. Death is already considered a special grace, so just be honest and don't cause trouble, lest I have to collect your body later!"

"I have to go if I die, Han Yu is still waiting for me!" I was about to get up again, and slapped me hard, with a loud slap.It's strange, I didn't feel any pain, on the contrary, it made me wake up a lot.

"Fucking save! What do you compare with Gu Feng? If you want money, if you don't have money, you don't have power. Han Yu is interested in you on a whim. When he is fed up with poverty and suffering, he will know how to return." What happened, he still has to choose Gu Feng! You don’t even understand this?” Lin Zi spat angrily, “Let me tell you the truth, Han Yu left with him voluntarily yesterday. No one forced him! I think he can see that you don't even have the ability to protect yourself, and it will be a matter of following you sooner or later!"

I have no place to be ashamed, every word Lin Zi said made sense, every sentence pierced my heart!That lethality is much more powerful than fourth brother's fist!

"Fourth Brother asked me to give you a message. If you don't want to die, don't go back and make trouble. He doesn't want to lose your life!"

Poverty does not provoke rich!Today I deeply realized the true meaning of this sentence.

Afraid?I am also afraid of death!But I'm more afraid of losing Han Woo.I don't know when he has become an indispensable part of my life!

Lin Zi said: "Actually, I have already seen the matter between you, but I just didn't talk about it..." "I have always wanted to persuade you, but I was afraid of hurting the feelings between brothers!  … .You really don't mean to tell me such a big thing!..." "If I had known it would cause trouble like today, I would definitely not let you be with him... we They are poor people, they have nothing but a life, we can't fight with them, besides, we can't afford to support someone like Han Yu... If you really like men, let's find someone with similar conditions as yourself, The right family...don't overestimate your abilities!"

These are all the words he said to me calmly after he calmed down, out of brotherhood, and heartfelt words.I know it all, but I still can't let go of Han Yu. The scene before he passed out has been circling in my mind. He cried so desperately and screamed so miserably. At that time, his heart must have hurt, right?

I went anyway, and while Lin Zi was at work, I secretly stood outside the gate of Gu's house with all my injuries.

Several Tibetan mastiffs strolled back and forth in the yard.There are vicious dogs inside, so keep away from strangers!Such a vivid warning, even the warning signs are omitted.

After waiting for a day, I finally saw Han Yu in the evening.He was hugged by Gu Feng's shoulders expressionlessly, and he smiled at Gu Feng when he was about to get into the car.I don't know if it's because Gu Feng whispered something to him, or because Gu Feng opened the car door for him.

The car drove away in a hurry, and I lost the value left behind.There is a place in the heart that hurts, and I think it may be a recurrence of the pain.

I didn't want to die outside, so I hurried back to "home".Because I had no money, I was discharged from the hospital as early as the next day, and I lived in Linzi's house, and this became my only shelter for the time being.

The luggage in the dormitory was retrieved by Lin Zi for me. The incident was so big that everyone in the unit should know about it. I can imagine how many blames Lin Zi took for me and how many blank eyes he received.When he came back, he also said that someone in the unit was chewing his tongue behind his back, and he almost fought with him.Fortunately, his position and identity have not changed, and no one dares to provoke him, at least not in front of him.

"Where have you been?" I asked angrily as soon as I opened the door, I knew that Lin Zi was worried about me, but I couldn't even say a word to make him feel at ease.

He blocked the road for a while, seeing that I still refused to open my mouth, he had no choice but to give up in the end, and waved his hand angrily, "Forget it, forget it, I don't bother to ask, hurry in and rest!"

After that, I didn’t speak for a long time, not because I didn’t want to speak, but my throat always hurt, and I couldn’t say a word at all, and I couldn’t even swallow my meal.

After that, I went to Gu's house twice, standing in the same place and secretly looking in the same direction, each time I waited until the sunset, watching them hug each other like a couple to increase my pain, but I still want to see him, even if I can only get a glimpse of him after waiting for hours.

Once, he even secretly followed Gu Feng's Mercedes-Benz all the way to that high-end western restaurant.Gu Feng picked up some food for him, Gu Feng wiped his mouth, and I, who was standing across the road, could see clearly through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

It can be seen that Gu Feng really likes him, and when he really likes someone, he won't hurt him. I think Gu Feng can treat him with respect, and I think I can give up!

I cried that night, sitting alone in the dark living room on the cold concrete floor, when I found that the smoke on my fingertips had burned my fingers, my face was full of tears.

Lin Zi put down two bottles of beer and a pack of cigarettes beside me, walked back to the bedroom and came out, sighed and sat beside me. "Sit with you for a while, don't worry, I'm just a radio."

But I still didn't say anything to him, I stopped my tears, smoked and drank until I was completely drunk.

In my drowsiness, I dreamed that Han Yu kept kissing my body, saying to me over and over again, "Li Kai, I like you!" Such a real dream, it seemed that even my body could feel his passion.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel that everything is illusory. Han Yu has already left, and it is impossible to come back. What daydream am I still doing!

Lin Zi slept next to me, I think he should be the one who carried me to bed last night, he was worried and stayed with me again.This is the only good brother in my life, and this is the only thing I can cherish at this time, and the only thing I can cherish.

Some people say that time is a good medicine, which can cure all mental diseases!Sunrise, a new day begins, why can't I forget what I should forget?

The lover is gone, and even the job is gone.People like me starve to death if they don't work, so there is no time for me to recuperate.I have to get a job.

"Why are you up so early?"

"Oh, I want to go out and find a job."

Lin Zi got up quickly when he heard this, "You can't even walk like this now, why are you looking for a job!"

I shook my head and continued to put on my clothes, "It's okay, I can't die!"

As expected of a figure one size bigger than me, pressing me back was like pressing a chicken. "Lie down honestly, don't talk nonsense!"

"If I don't go to work, I'll drink the northwest wind?"

"I'll take care of you!" Lin Zi, who was standing on the ground and was putting on his clothes behind my back, said, "Just stay at home obediently, and we'll talk about it when you recover from your injuries."

"What are you kidding?"

"I'm not kidding you!" Lin Zi fastened the last button of his shirt, turned around and threw the wallet to me, "Use the money to get it from here, if it's not enough, just tell me."

When he felt ashamed, Lin Zi came over with a wet towel, and rubbed it on my face a few times indiscriminately and rudely, "I can't even twist a towel, and I'm still going out to work, what a show."

"I'm a sick patient now, can't you be gentle?"

"Didn't I be gentle with you last night?"

"...what did you say?"

Lin Zi half-jokingly said, "I hugged you to the bed, and the way I threw you over my shoulder is much more gentle than not?"

"Then I have to thank you?"

"You're welcome!" Lin Zi threw away the towel coolly, "Okay, I'll be late if I don't leave, you can buy whatever you want."

I still insisted on sending him to the door, and said to him before he went out, "Thank you!" I should have said this to him long ago.

"Stop fucking with me!" Lin Zi retracted his fist when it was close to my body, even if it was just a joke, he couldn't do it. In fact, my current physical condition is indeed so bad that I can't help it. .He patted me on the shoulder and said in a low voice, "...don't torture yourself, just forget about him."

I lowered my head and didn't speak.Lin Zi waited for a while, finally sighed, and left.

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