I'm a scumbag

I am used to anesthetizing myself with nicotine when I am irritable, and I happened to be seen by a passing nurse when I held one in my mouth, and I was reprimanded for nothing.

"Don't you know this is a hospital? You don't have common sense? You have to take it out!"

I was kicked out of the inpatient building, and the cold wind in the morning blew away some of my boredom. Countless disorganized questions began to hit my brain like a flood. I was so confused that I didn't know whether to continue walking or turn around and return.

The phone vibrated, it was a text message from Li Yan, she asked, (Brother, how is Han Yu?)

(sleeping!)

(You help me take care of him first, and I will go there after class.)

I hesitated for 2 minutes, threw away the cigarette butt and replied to the message, (His parents are here, you don't need to come.)

Li Yan didn't reply to the message, I took my phone back and found a step to sit down, and lit a second cigarette to pass the time of despair.I should have walked straight out of the hospital gate. I don't know why my legs were so heavy that I couldn't take a step forward.

The hospital in the early morning is full of busy figures, and the doctors and nurses rushing to work, for fear that if they are late, half a month's bonus will be deducted.Family members coming and going went to visit patients with breakfast in their hands, with eagerness and worry on their faces.

I sat on the edge of the flower bed stupidly like an alternative, stepping on the ice under my feet, as if listening to the sound of heartbreak.

A pair of sisters sat on the other side and cried, tearfully repenting for their unfilial conduct.No one in the hospital who is used to life and death will care about their sorrow, and only I will look at them sympathetically and express my silent condolences to their loved ones who have just passed away.

The child wants to support but the relative is not there!The saddest thing in life is this.

The world is always impermanent, who knows who will die under the wheel tomorrow and who will die in an instant.

Throwing away the last cigarette in my hand, I got up and walked out of the hospital gate. When I came back, I put two breakfasts beside them and left silently.

The moment I opened the door, heartbroken cries came into my ears, and I thought, I must have been away for a long time.

"Eat the food first and then cry, so you don't have the energy to do it." The child-like crying stopped abruptly, and my words were more effective than any violent yelling.

It took at least ten seconds before he dared to turn his head to look at me, his red and swollen eye sockets were full of disbelief. "You, how are you?"

I pretended to be perfunctory and said casually, "Oh, Li Yan said that she couldn't make it today, so I must..." Before I finished speaking, an object suddenly fell into my arms, and I fell backwards unprepared Almost flinched.

Han Yu hugged my body tightly, almost strangled me, his small face was pressed against my chest, and he used my clothes as a tissue to feel around.

"Xiaoyu, I just..." entrusted by someone?Hold!This lame self-justification and self-comfort are fucking excuses!

No one is tying you up with a rope, Li Kai, who can stop you if you leave!Ask yourself I can't even fool myself!

"Don't say anything, just let me hug you for a while... just a while." His request was nothing more than that, how could I refuse, not to mention that he was still wounded at this time.

Not knowing how to cooperate, I had no choice but to lean on the bed with both hands and stare at the ceiling in bewilderment.I always thought that I would be disgusted by Han Yu's approach, but now it's okay to get close to him, at least it's not as unbearable as I thought, or even slap him away.

However, 10 minutes have passed, and I don't know how long I will keep this difficult posture. I have nothing to say, "Does your hand not hurt when you push so hard? Be careful that you will dislocate it again in a while."

"Death is worth it!"

The four words seemed to be shot into my heart with four extremely lethal bullets. Perhaps Han Yu could hear it, and my heartbeat continued to speed up in panic.

That night, I asked for a long vacation from my work unit and slept on the empty bed to the left of Han Yu. When I woke up at night, I realized that Han Yu was still staring at my back in the same position.

"Why haven't you slept yet?"

"Not sleepy yet, go to sleep."

"This will press the wound, turn to sleep." Han Yu hesitated for a long time without moving, I had to go over to help him, but he held my hand, "I...I want to look at you .”

The light in the corridor reflected on that little face, besides its usual cuteness, it also had a pitiful expression of abandoning a dog.

Being reprimanded by my younger sister as a cold-blooded animal, I pretended cold-bloodedly that I didn't see anything, "What's so interesting?" I lifted the quilt and saw a faint red on the sheet, and I stared blankly at his legs that were already bright red. The gauze, the heart is twisted like a knife.

"...I'm afraid I won't see you when I open my eyes."

"......fool!"

I secretly sniffed and turned Han Yu's body to the other side, then slept on another empty bed facing him, "Don't worry, I won't leave, go to sleep."

Han Yu smiled happily like a child who got sweets, and after repeatedly opening his eyes to confirm that I really would not leave, he fell asleep peacefully. This time, I lost sleepiness and stared until dawn.

I have never been so confused since I was a child. I don't know whether I like him or not. I just don't want to abandon him at this time.If I really leave in the early morning, I think I may never forgive myself for my unfeeling in this life.

So I came back, the reason is that I don't want to let myself regret it, it's that simple.

Judging from the current situation, it is indeed right to come back, otherwise he and I may have to spend the night in insomnia.

I really don't understand what he likes about me, character?See money eyes open, mercenary, gossip?Or character?Sentimental, valuing sex over friends, timid and afraid of getting into trouble?Or looks?Bang Da Yao Yuan, sanctimonious?

Self-evaluation, I don't seem to have any excellence at all?

This kind of me is worthy of your wholehearted devotion, and your never-forgotten concern. Do you still want to call my name in the middle of the night?It's the fourth sound, and I'm counting.

"Li Kai~" Well, it's the fifth sound!

This kid's sleeping posture is extremely bad. He obviously suffered such a serious injury to his leg, but he didn't forget to turn over and shoot the target, and he was riding a quilt and talking in his sleep.Just thinking about whether he would turn over and fall to the ground, unfortunately, I rushed over quickly and just caught him in my arms. The brat groaned twice but didn't wake up.

No wonder the beds in his house are so big, no wonder his house is covered with carpets, now I understand.

I haven't seen you for a few months, how come I feel so much lighter?I weighed the weight and lost at least ten catties.Put it back on the bed and cover it with the quilt, I decided to start mending him tomorrow.

I don't know how many days he hasn't slept, he is so sleepy, it means that he has not woken up after sleeping for ten o'clock, judging from his occasional smirk expression, he is probably still having some fancy dreams.

Beijing time reminds that if you don’t go out for a while, you can only buy lunch.

But when I think of what he said last night, I hesitate again. If he wakes up and can't see me, I don't know if he will be thinking wildly?To be honest, I am very afraid of him crying now, seeing his teary eyes, I always have a feeling that the red wolf is bullying the gray wolf.

It took less than 10 minutes to go back and forth, so he shouldn't be thinking wildly, right?Besides, he slept so soundly, maybe he still hasn't woken up when I come back.

I left the ward quietly with a trace of luck in my heart, bought the last soy milk and fried dough sticks from the uncle on the street, and returned quickly.

As a result, the ward was empty!

The author has something to say: