The heroine of the healing department is very rigid [Pride and Prejudice]

Mary turned her head, the night was black, and Heathcliff's eyes were also black.But for some reason, his eyes were extraordinarily clear in the dark night.

"I will live, Mary." Heathcliff held her hand tightly, "Can you wait for me."

Mary was silent, her eyes were dry and astringent, her body temperature dropped rapidly, only her heart seemed to be on fire.The flame continued to burn, and she gradually turned into a dry stick, surrounded by flames, and her whole body was crackling due to the violent burning of the flames.Mary thought she had jumped into the fire pit, the orange flames were making her skin ache, but she didn't want to leave.

"Who is Catherine Earnshaw?" Mary asked with difficulty.

Catherine, Catherine Earnshaw.She repeated the painful name in her heart to calm herself down.

Mary's heartbeat gradually returned to normal, and she was extremely grateful that she found the pocket watch and knew Catherine Earnshaw, otherwise she might have promised Heathcliff just now.

She also resented Heathcliff very much, resenting that he clearly already had Catherine, but still came to provoke her.

I also resent why he was so careless and left that pocket watch behind.

Tell me she's only your sister, your blood relative.Mary prayed in her heart, even though she knew she was deluding herself.

Heathcliff seemed a little surprised. He lowered his head and remained silent for a few seconds. The room was so quiet that they could even hear each other's breathing.After an unknown amount of time, Heathcliff grabbed Mary's other wrist through her clothes.

"Catherine was my former love," he said.

Mary wrestled away from him, but was unsuccessful, her wrists ached from the rough cloth.

She really hates Heathcliff.How could there be such a person.Brutal, domineering, and unreasonable.It was a crime for her to provoke such a person.

"Catherine's father, that is, old Mr. Earnshaw, he is my adoptive father." Heathcliff noticed that Mary wanted to run, so he increased the strength of his hands, and he stared at her closely.

"We lived at Wuthering Heights and the first time I met Catherine she was about six years old. I didn't know how old I was, I never knew how old I was."

"I don't want to hear about your love history, Heathcliff." Mary pulled out one hand angrily, trying to free her other hand with all her strength.

"Catherine is already married, Mary." Heathcliff let go of her wrist, but held her shoulder again. "She's in the past."

Mary couldn't move anymore.So she could only stare at Heathcliff, focusing her anger on her eyes, "I am not your backup option, Colonel Heathcliff. If you don't let me go, I will call someone."

"I didn't take you as a backup option!" Heathcliff still didn't let go, his voice was a little hoarse and trembling, "In my eyes, you are always just Mary Bennet."

"I loved her once—I did think it was love then. But I wasn't a person at Wuthering Heights, Mary. Especially after my adoptive father died, except Catherine, and a maid, No one there wanted to see me as a human being."

"That's why I thought I liked her. Then she married our neighbor, a rich gentleman."

"Mary, I didn't mean not to tell you this." Heathcliff sighed, loosened the hand holding Mary's shoulder, and slid down a little, landing on the crook of her arm.

"At Wuthering Heights, I was just a servant. Not only did I not have a higher education, I was also in prison."

He has been living in the gutter since he was a child, but Mary is different.

Mary is like a clover flower.

In front of Mary, he felt scared almost instinctively, afraid that Mary would know his past.Especially after Randy Wilson appeared, this fear became even more apparent.He looked down on Wilson, but he had to admit that he had excellent qualities that he didn't have.

It's not that Heathcliff didn't think about leaving, quitting, but he couldn't.

He can't do it.Only in front of Mary did he feel that he was still alive and his heart was still beating.

"My past is shameful, Mary." Heathcliff said softly, feeling bitter in his heart. He found that he was still as despicable as before. He was still unwilling to be honest in front of the person he liked. to reality. "I don't know how to tell you this."

"Mary, you gave me a new life. I want to start over."

"You have known each other for a long time, since childhood." Mary lowered her head, unwilling to look at Heathcliff.She told herself that she should not care about who a person loved in the past, but should look to the future, but she still felt sore in her heart.

"you like her."

"That was a long time ago." Heathcliff felt a little headache, he didn't know how to explain his "love history".The colonel who lashed out at Fang Qiu on the battlefield in the past disappeared, leaving only a helpless, nervous and anxious Heathcliff.Cautiously, his hands slid down a little more, trying to catch Mary's fingers.

Mary shook her head, took a few breaths almost with difficulty, and then raised her eyes to look at him.

"You like Catherine so much, Heathcliff. Even your manor is full of her portraits, even though she is married, you still hang her portraits and wear her portraits on your body. You can really easily Let her go? You've known each other for so long."

Little by little she took her fingers out of Heathcliff's.

"I don't care if you've been a servant before, but I can't pretend I don't know Catherine. I'm really sorry, I can't. But you too, don't you? And you can't pretend Catherine never came, nor Pretend I don't know Catherine exists."

"You really like her so much." Mary said this bitterly. She bit her lip, feeling aggrieved and embarrassed by her narrow-mindedness.How can she not care about the ten years of Heathcliff and Catherine.They live under the same roof, see each other every day, and know everything about each other.

It was already late at night, and everyone had a great time today, and with the successive victories in the battlefield ahead, even if the windows were creaking in the cold wind, everyone had already fallen into a deep sleep with peace of mind.Even the kerosene lamp on the table went out by itself.

"How should I explain it?" Heathcliff sat back on the hospital bed with a depressed expression. He looked up at Mary, and the black flames in his eyes were extinguished bit by bit.There is nothing he can do.He is really helpless.He began to feel frightened, his strength was taken away, and the "Bible" on the table gradually turned into a joke.He had a premonition that Catherine's history would repeat itself, and he didn't know if he could bear the loss again.

Maybe I'm not worthy of love.

Mary averted her eyes, not daring to meet Heathcliff's gaze, and only hurriedly left a sentence "I'll get the sewing kit tomorrow", and ran away in embarrassment at the fastest speed.The heels of the shoes made a slight rattle in the silent corridor, and Mary trotted all the way until she reached the yard.

The arms and shoulders held by Heathcliff were still hot, and she breathed in the cold air, letting more cold rush into her lungs, because only in this way could she calm down.She had just rejected Heathcliff.Because of a Catherine Earnshaw from long ago.

Mary felt that she was too hypocritical.But it was really hard for her to turn a blind eye to Catherine.

The aftertaste of Christmas is still there, the bows and ribbons used to decorate the yard are still hanging, and there is even a faint smell of roast turkey in the air.

Mary felt annoyed and frustrated.

Whether in her previous life or now, she has always been a troublesome person at home.

The dignified and gentle Jane, the beautiful and intelligent Elizabeth, the eccentric Lydia and Katie, and the incompatible Mary.Everyone thinks so, including their parents.

It used to be that when a new gentleman arrived, Jane was the first thing my mother thought of, then Lydia, then Elizabeth and Katie, and finally her.Until a week before she died of the Black Death, Mrs. Bennet was still accusing her of not being able to speak like a lady.

Mary knew that she was not a lady, and she didn't want to be a lady, and Heathcliff happened to be not a gentleman, so before she found the pocket watch, she thought that the two of them might be a good match.But now she just wants to go back to the past and slap herself, telling herself to see the truth.

In fact, after her rebirth, Mary never had any intention of marrying.She just wanted the whole family to be safe, and that she could live for decades longer.As for whether she wants a husband, she doesn't care. After all, no one likes a woman who clamors every day to study medicine and go out for consultation.

She doesn't need those people's likes either.

So Mary planned her "second" future well, to live, watch her sisters get married, and spend the rest of her life in a convent.She has no objection to such a life, but Heathcliff suddenly appears.

Why couldn't she meet Heathcliff earlier.That way, even if they didn't have a friendship of more than ten years, it wouldn't be like what it is now, even a fraction of the time he and Catherine have known each other is not enough.Wrapped in a shawl, she paced the snow, occasionally sipping gin to keep warm.The moon is half hanging in the sky, there are few stars today, and the snow is gradually getting smaller.

Mary hesitated whether to go back to Heathcliff and try not to care about Catherine.She counted the days, today is Sunday, two days before Heathcliff returns to the battlefield, she still has time to continue thinking.

Do you want to go back to find him, do you want to try once?