paranoid dependence

Shen Nian put a glass of water in front of Chen Jingzhi, and said what he said to Gu Zhi before: "There is nothing else to drink at home."

"Thank you." Chen Jingzhi raised his hand and took it empty-handedly, and said with a smile, "Water is fine, I don't drink anything else."

Shen Nian sat down opposite Chen Jingzhi, feeling a little nervous for no reason.

This is the first person he has met with Gu Zhi after eight years of separation from Gu Zhi. Although he doesn't know how he got here, Shen Nian will definitely be a lot more because of this person. Few knew what happened to Gu Zhi.

As for those unknowns, Shen Nian was nervous, but had no intention of escaping.

He must know and face it, only in this way can he bring Gu Zhi back.

"You said you are Gu Zhi's psychiatrist, is his problem serious?" Shen Nian asked, trying to restrain the tremor in his voice.

"I think it's necessary for me to explain." Chen Jingzhi looked at Shen Nian: "I worked as a psychiatrist for Gu Zhi seven years ago, and I did it for about two years. We didn't see each other for a long time, until We only recently met again."

Chen Jingzhi was silent for a few seconds, and asked Shen Nian: "You should have seen him, right? He said he wanted to see you after he ran out from there."

"I see." Shen Nian said, holding his hands tightly together, his joints were bluish white, and he didn't dare to ask where 'there' was.

"Then you should already know that he is very different from before." Chen Jingzhi said: "I came to you mainly because I couldn't get in touch with him. He didn't do what I said to keep in touch with me. I was a little worried, so I wanted to see Look, how is he doing all this time?"

Since he is Gu Zhi's psychiatrist, Shen Nian did not hide it: "It's not very good, he is almost a complete stranger to me, his emotions will lose control, his body will tremble, and even his personality has completely changed."

"I know all of this." Chen Jingzhi said: "But I think it is already a remarkable thing that he can still be in the current state after going through so much. Healing is a long process. Any wound, especially The psychological one will be more difficult to heal than the physical one, but you are his medicine, and I believe he will get better with you."

Shen Nian looked at Chen Jingzhi, a little astonished, he didn't know what kind of thing could make a psychiatrist say that Gu Zhi who appeared now was 'remarkable', after all Gu Zhi looked terrible.

What if the current state is already considered remarkable?So what should normal people be like when they encounter 'so many' things?

Shen Nian knew that it must be painful, but she wanted to know urgently.

"You said that you became Gu Zhi's psychiatrist seven years ago, and he was not very well at that time?"

"Very bad." Chen Jingzhi nodded without much hesitation: "Irritability, closeness, and self-loathing are related to his experiences from childhood to adulthood. He subconsciously feels that he is redundant and should not exist. No one wanted it, and it took me more than half a year to get the qualifications to talk to him calmly, but not much, and he shut himself in the room most of the time and didn’t see anyone.”

Too much time has passed, but Chen Jingzhi can still remember the first time he saw Gu Zhi.

It was dusk. He came to Ningjia's villa as promised. Before he got there, he saw a young man sitting on the edge of the third floor roof, looking at the sunset with his legs dangling. Chen Jingzhi, who was afraid of heights, saw This picture is a bit weak-legged, Ning Jia is standing downstairs looking up at Gu Zhi, as if ready to catch Gu Zhi after he falls anytime.

Hearing the sound of footsteps, he turned his head and looked back at Gu Zhi after only one glance:

"Doctor Chen?"

"I'm Chen Jingzhi." Chen Jingzhi also looked at Gu Zhi.

Ning Jia responded lightly: "You see, the one sitting there is my son, and he is also the one you want to treat."

Gu Zhi seemed to have heard this sentence, he looked back at the sunset, and looked down from above, the distance was a bit far, Gu Zhi was against the light, Chen Jingzhi couldn't see Gu Zhi's expression at that time, but he could clearly feel it. An unfriendly gaze fell on him.

Chen Jingzhi came once a week, and every time he came, Gu Zhi was on the edge of the roof, even if it was raining, he could still climb up. Chen Jingzhi had no choice but to overcome his fear of heights and climb up.

It was a pretty good weather. In late spring and early summer, the temperature was neither high nor low, and the clouds in the sky were also brilliantly reflected by the setting sun. Chen Jingzhi asked Gu Zhi:

"You like the sunset?"

Gu Zhi didn't answer, as if he didn't hear it.

Chen Jingzhi was not surprised. He sat a little behind him and watched with him. It wasn't until the sun went down and the sky became completely dark that Gu Zhi got up and walked back. He acted as if Chen Jingzhi was transparent from the beginning to the end.

They spent a month without any communication like this, and Ning Jia also hesitated to replace Chen Jingzhi during this period, because Gu Zhi still hadn't changed at all.But Chen Jingzhi was not the first psychiatrist, but he was the only one who could stay by Gu Zhi's side for so long without being driven away.

That's why Chen Jingzhi stayed.

But Chen Jingzhi doubted his professional ability for the first time when Gu Zhi was involved. There was never a patient who had been in front of him for more than a month without saying a word. Chen Jingzhi once doubted whether Gu Zhi was dumb.

But no, Chen Jingzhi has seen countless scenes where Gu Zhi was furious, and the frequency of his anger is actually very high. Ning Jia would be furious if he said nothing to him, and even hurt himself. In severe cases, he even needed sedatives.

He just doesn't want to talk to himself.

With such a high treatment fee, but no progress, Chen Jingzhi didn't feel so at ease.But just when Chen Jingzhi was hesitating whether to leave, Gu Zhi reacted to him, because he asked tentatively when he was watching the sunset with Gu Zhi again:

"Is he in that direction? Do you miss him?"

It was because of these words that Gu Zhi suddenly turned his head to look at him. Although his expression was not good, he finally saw Chen Jingzhi in his eyes.

That day, Gu Zhi left the roof very early. Chen Jingzhi didn't stop him, and he didn't strike while the iron was hot. He went to Ning Jia and asked about Gu Zhi's previous affairs. She told all about Zhi being abused by herself when she was a child, and being hurt by Gu Ming. Chen Jingzhi shook his head when he heard the words:

"What else? You didn't mention someone who is very important to Gu Zhi."

Ning Jia obviously didn't want to talk about it, but Chen Jingzhi insisted, that's when Chen Jingzhi knew about Shen Nian's existence.

When Chen Jingzhi tried to talk about Shen Nian with Gu Zhi for the first time, Gu Zhi lost his temper. On that day, Gu Zhi almost smashed the whole house, and he also said a lot, asking why Ning Jia mentioned it to others. Shen Nian, afterward he climbed up to the roof to watch the sunset, Chen Jingzhi followed, he thought Gu Zhi wouldn't open his mouth to talk to him, but he did, he said:

"Don't mention him in the future, or I will kill you."

Chen Jingzhi thought it was hatred at the time, but the more he got to know it, the more he knew it was not hatred. Hatred for a person should not be hidden in his heart, and Shen Nian was hidden by him. Speak out.

Speaking of this, Chen Jingzhi looked at Shen Nian: "You are very important to him."

It's so important that he takes it to heart carefully, and it won't do if others take a look at it or mention it.

Shen Nian didn't speak, and Chen Jingzhi didn't get to the point. Gu Zhi's experience should be far more than that.

Liang Qiu glanced at Shen Nian, and said, "And then? Listening to your story, the relationship between Gu Zhi and you should ease."

"It's not easy to talk about." Chen Jingzhi shook his head helplessly, and said, "He is a very contradictory person. He is self-loathing while defending himself, and cynical while studying hard at the same time. No one can go to him. Go in his heart, or in other words, his heart is too full to accommodate extra people."

"Although the Gu Zhi in your mouth is contradictory, it seems that he is always moving forward, right? He should work hard to study so that one day he will go to the same university as Shen Nian. If this is the case, Gu Zhi should not become what he is now," Liang Qiu asked what Shen Nian wanted to ask but dared not: "What did Ning Jia do to him?"

Shen Nian looked over nervously, Liang Qiu's gaze was also fixed, and Chen Jingzhi immediately realized something:

"You think Mr. Ning is responsible for what Gu Zhi is doing now?"

"Isn't it?" Liang Qiu said, "I don't know how much you know about Ning Jia's resistance to homosexuality, but we know that she absolutely cannot accept it. If Ning Jia finds out about Gu Zhi's feelings for Shen Nian, maybe she will It may also be possible to adopt some illegal and improper means."

"It's possible." Chen Jingzhi said, "But you overlooked Gu Zhi's intelligence, or you underestimated his determination to return to Shen Nian's side."

"Although Gu Zhi doesn't want to live with President Ning and is very resistant to her, he knows what President Ning cares about and what she can't accept, so except for the one time I mentioned, Gu Zhi has never made any preconditions in front of President Ning. If you read the name Shen too much, even if President Ning mentioned Gu Zhi, all he would show would be hatred."

"Gu Zhi didn't want Boss Ning to get involved in his feelings, and he didn't want Boss Ning to be an obstacle for him to return to Shen Nian, so he carefully deceived Boss Ning by using hatred as a disguise." Chen Jingzhi looked at him. Shen Nian said: "Mr. Ning really cared about Gu Zhi's feelings for you at the beginning, but as Gu Zhi has always maintained such an attitude, even later, even if he mentioned you, he would not get angry, and Mr. Ning gradually became less so. I care."

"If it wasn't Ning Jia who did what you said, who else would it be?" Liang Qiu adjusted his posture a little, not believing what he said.

"No one can be Mr. Ning." Chen Jingzhi looked at Liang Qiu: "Mr. Ning passed away 5 years ago."

Shen Nian and Liang Qiu stopped breathing for a moment because of Chen Jingzhi's words, and looked at him with incredible eyes. They had countless guesses that every kind of injury was inseparable from Ning Jia, but no one thought that there would be a In such a reversal, Ning Jia died, and Gu Zhi's injuries were not caused by her at all.

"Car accident." Chen Jingzhi said: "It was tragic, people disappeared on the spot, so even if she found something, she couldn't do anything in time. What happened to Gu Zhi is not caused by her now, she is even very nice to Gu Zhi , while I was Gu Zhi’s psychiatrist, I also provided counseling for her, and she was very worried that she would hurt Gu Zhi if she had psychological problems again.”

"Then what happened to Gu Zhi?" Liang Qiu asked puzzled.

Chen Jingzhi was silent for a long time before slowly opening his mouth: "Mr. Ning has a younger brother. After Mr. Ning passed away, in order to obtain Mr. Ning's company and inheritance, he used tricks to label Gu Zhi as a mental patient, making everyone think Gu Zhi has no capacity for civil conduct, so he became his guardian logically, and sent him to a mental hospital for... 5 years."

When Ning Jia had a car accident, Chen Jingzhi was out of town because of an academic exchange. When he rushed back, everything was settled, and he never saw Gu Zhi again. However, at that time, Gu Zhi’s college entrance examination results had come down, and Chen Jingzhi thought he was When he went to Shanghai to study at university, he didn't think much about it. After all, he never had any sense of belonging to this family or to Ningjia.

After Ning Jia left, no one would stop him anymore, and it was almost a natural thing that he would leave immediately.

But Chen Jingzhi didn't expect, he didn't expect that Gu Zhi would be trapped by Ning Wen and sent to the mental hospital before he had time to leave. If it wasn't for a patient who Chen Jingzhi went to visit him in the mental hospital half a year ago, he accidentally found out that he was trapped there. Gu Zhi, he didn't know how long Gu Zhi would stay there.

Chen Jingzhi can't forget the scene when he saw Gu Zhi for the first time, and he can't forget the appearance of seeing Gu Zhi five years later. The young man who could feel wanton and arrogant even without saying a word has completely changed his appearance. It made people unable to see the hope of birth in him. He was like an old man sitting in the courtyard watching the sky and counting the clouds. There was no light in his eyes, no emotion, and he seemed to be unable to see anyone.

Live as if dead.

There were people watching by Gu Zhi's side, it was hard for Chen Jingzhi to have the chance to talk to him, maybe it was because Chen Jingzhi was the only straw for him in the past five years, so after he appeared, Gu Zhi firmly grasped it and gave him the opportunity. With all his trust, Chen Jingzhi even believed that if he couldn't take Gu Zhi out, maybe there would be no such person as Gu Zhi in the world.

He will be completely desperate after he has given him hope.

He was the only thing he could hold on to.

It took a while to 'steal' Gu Zhi out from everyone's eyes. Chen Jingzhi asked him where he was going. After a long silence, he only said one word. He said:

"I miss it."

So here he is.

Shen Nian reflexively got up from the sofa almost as soon as Chen Jingzhi's voice fell, his eyes were red as if they would bleed in the next second, his hands began to tremble uncontrollably, he couldn't control it no matter what .

He didn't dare to think about it, didn't dare to think about how Gu Zhi lived in that place for the past five years, as long as he touched it a little, Shen Nian felt that he was going crazy with Gu Zhi.

Liang Qiu should get up at this time to appease Shen Nian. Over the years, he has been used to playing the role of comforting Shen Nian when Shen Nian is in distress, but Chen Jingzhi's words also made Liang Qiu seem to be nailed in place. , I haven't recovered for a long time.

In a mental hospital, a person who was not ill was imprisoned in such an environment for 5 years.

Who can imagine?

Liang Qiu suddenly understood how great Chen Jingzhi said "it's already a very great thing". Liang Qiu lived a happy life since he was a child. I can't even imagine if I could be a normal person after I came out.

Gu Zhi can do what he is now only occasionally out of control, which is beyond Liang Qiu's imagination.

Liang Qiu is like this, let alone Shen Nian.

He subconsciously looked at Shen Nian, Shen Nian seemed to have not recovered, his eyes were very bewildered, he kept looking for a focus, trying to distract himself, but all failed, he His mind is full of Gu Zhi, the appearance of Gu Zhi being tortured and treated in a mental hospital, but Gu Zhi's real experience must be much crueler than he imagined.

Are they still human?Do you want to destroy a person alive for the sake of wealth and fame?

Disgusting, unprecedented disgusting!Why, why did they destroy his little fox for their own selfish desires.

Five years, more than 1800 days, what it meant to Gu Zhi, every minute and every second was nothing more than the pain of peeling and cramping, his hair turned gray and lost his luster in this kind of suffering.

The unrestrained stubborn, self-confident little lunatic, they just killed them.

He is in too much pain, and he loves what his little fox has suffered, but no matter how much he loves, it is not as much as Gu Zhi. Those knives have scratched him for five years.

Shen Nian threw up heartbrokenly in the bathroom, Liang Qiu kept patting Shen Nian beside him, but Shen Nian couldn't control it, he wanted to vomit reflexively, and finally stopped when he had nothing to vomit and almost lost his strength After coming down, Chen Jingzhi was a little worried when he saw Shen Nian like this standing outside the bathroom door:

"Is it okay? Actually, as a psychiatrist, I shouldn't be the one to say these things, but I don't think Gu Zhi should tell you, and no one can cure him except you. If you want to cure him, you must first know what happened to him. what."

"I'm fine." Shen Nian stared at something unfocused, but the words he said were decisive: "I'll be fine, I have to get back my old obsessions."

Shen Nian is no longer the Shen Nian of eight years ago, he will not let anything overwhelm him, even if there is, he has to find the little lunatic first.

But the question is, where is Gu Zhi now?

"It's fine." Chen Jingzhi breathed a sigh of relief: "Where is Gu Zhi now, can I meet him? I want to apologize for saying this without his permission."

"We are also looking for him." Liang Qiu said, "We haven't heard from him for almost three days."

Chen Jingzhi frowned slightly: "Did something happen?"

Shen Nian didn't hide anything, he could feel that Chen Jingzhi also wanted Gu Zhi to be well, so he roughly told him what happened after Gu Zhi came to his side, the more Chen Jingzhi frowned at the end, Shen Nian Thinking is wrong:

"Doctor Chen, did you think of something?"

"Gu Zhi only told me that he misses you very much and wants to come to you, but he never showed any intention of leaving you again. I thought he would always stay by your side." Chen Jingzhi looked at Shen Nian: "But you The stubborn reaction to what I just told me made me feel like he was saying goodbye to you."

"Yes." Shen Nian nodded: "I also have this feeling, I think he just came to see me, and he was going to leave after making sure that I was doing well, that's what he said, but where could he go? Ning Jia is not here either No, he has no home other than me..."

Liang Qiu combined the two people's words and thought about it, and suddenly had a bad feeling:

"Xiao Nian, do you think Gu Zhi will...will take revenge on Ning Wen?"

As soon as Liang Qiu finished speaking, both Shen Nian and Chen Jingzhi looked at him, and their expressions were a little unsightly.

It's entirely possible, Gu Zhi has always had a vengeful character from the very beginning, and he would pay back even if others gave him a bad look, not to mention that the best five years of his life were all ruined in Ning Wen's hands , such hatred and unwillingness, not to mention stubbornness, even Shen Nian couldn't swallow this breath.

Gu Zhi would definitely go to Ning Wen, that's why he came to make sure he was okay, that's why he wanted to be well, that's why he wanted to say goodbye and leave, he had no intention of coming back at all.

How long has Gu Zhi been gone?It's been almost three days, is there still time?

Shen Nian looked at Chen Jingzhi: "Doctor Chen, where is Ning Wen? I'm going to bring Gu Zhi back."

The three of them went to the airport without any delay. Fortunately, the place where Ning Wen was was not very far from the small town where Shen Nian is now. The plane took off in the afternoon and arrived in the evening. Chen Jingzhi took them directly to Ning Wen's company. But in the middle of driving, Shen Nian thought of something to stop:

"He won't do it in the company, go to the house."

"Why?" Liang Qiu asked.

Chen Jingzhi thought for a while, then ordered the driver to turn around, and explained to Liang Qiu by the way:

"Gu Zhi wouldn't want Shen Nian to see him on social news. Shen Nian would definitely know about doing such a thing in the downtown area, so he wouldn't do it."

Liang Qiu opened his mouth but couldn't say anything, if it was him, he would not be thinking about Shen Nian at this moment, he would only think about how to tear Ning Wen apart.

But maybe this is Gu Zhi's tenderness and difference to Shen Nian, maybe this is Gu Zhi's greatness, he will think about Shen Nian no matter when and where, or maybe it is because of this that he survived those five years time.

It doesn't take much, Shen Nian alone is enough for him to resist all the harm in this world.

Chen Jingzhi also went to investigate Ning Wen after meeting Gu Zhi again, and he also had a considerable understanding of his affairs. Along the way, he was in contact with Ning Wen to find out Ning Wen's latest itinerary, and when those itineraries were sent to his mobile phone , Chen Jingzhi also breathed a sigh of relief:

"Don't worry too much. Ning Wen has been on a business trip for the past few days, and he just came back today. The flight arrives a little later than ours. Even if Gu Zhi wants to do something, he still hasn't had time."

Shen Nian's heart hanging on the way along the way finally dropped a little after hearing these words, and the hands that were so cold that they were sluggish showed some signs of warming up.

"Can we get in the villa area?" Liang Qiu said, "It's useless if we can't get in."

"I contacted my friend." Chen Jingzhi said, "He is a policeman. Ask him to show his ID and take us in."

Shen Nian slightly frowned and wanted to say something, but Chen Jingzhi seemed to know his worries: "Don't worry, he is my friend, and he is the only one here, he will turn a blind eye to Gu Zhi's matter."

After Chen Jingzhi said that, Shen Nian didn't say anything more, and fell silent.

After getting off the car at the gate of the villa area, Chen Jingzhi's friend was already waiting at the gate, and when it was urgent, he just greeted him and showed his ID before bringing Shen Nian and the others in together.

They had just entered the villa area a few steps, when a bunch of headlights came from behind them, Chen Jingzhi glanced back, and immediately whispered: "Ning Wen is back."

The car passed by them in a flash, and Shen Nian's breathing almost stopped, he was afraid that he would not be in time, so he ran over almost reflexively, he just wanted to go faster and faster.

Panting, when he followed the car to the next corner, Shen Nian had already seen the car stop slowly, he subconsciously looked around to find Gu Zhi, but he couldn't find it, Gu Zhi didn't seem to be here at all, Seeing that Ning Wen had already pushed open the car door, Shen Nian even wanted to rush over to Ning Wen's side, the only way was the safest way, but when he was about to do so, he saw a man jumping down from a tree not far ahead. people.

He would not admit his mistake, there would be no other person with that white hair except Gu Zhi.

At this time, Gu Zhi had no one else in his eyes, only Ning Wen, only the details of his five years in the mental hospital, he didn't think about Shen Nian, and he couldn't think about it, as long as he thought about it, he couldn't bear it, but he had to Now he is dead, he is not even considered a normal person, he can't drag Shen Nian even if he doesn't want to.

Being able to look at him, knowing that he is doing well, and hearing him say 'like' is already very satisfying and satisfying.

Can't be greedy anymore.

Today he wants to be free, he will not be dragged by those nightmares anymore, he will end his own nightmares with his own hands, and then let everything end.

Hurry up, Ning Wen didn't find him, he can make a quick decision, I don't know how many times I will stab him, let's just let it go.

Gu Zhi laughed, and walked towards him, every step he could feel relaxed, about to be relieved, but when he was about to walk out of the shadows, he was blocked by a person, that person looked at him, dying He firmly grabbed his wrist holding the knife, Gu Zhi's eyes were full of shock, but Shen Nian looked at him and smiled, saying:

"Little fox, go home."