paranoid dependence

That's how people are, the more they don't want you to know, the more they can't help but keep thinking about what it is.

Standing in front of Shen Chongshan's grave, Shen Nian thought about the "never say" thing that You Xiaoyue said, and felt chills down his back. He actually guessed it. He actually couldn't think of anything other than this answer that made You Xiaoyue hate herself so much, but Shen Chongshan tried his best to protect his affairs.

It cannot be said that it means that it has enough power.

Shen Nian started to get scared, he didn't dare to think about it, a little touch would make him loathe him even more, but his brain seemed to have its own thinking, it kept thinking and guessing, and then it all turned into a Disgust, entangled Shen Nian.

He began to feel that he couldn't breathe again, as if someone was holding him under water.

It was only when someone grabbed his hand that Shen Nian suddenly broke free from the vortex that was gradually engulfing him. Almost subconsciously, he held the hand that was holding him backwards, and held it tightly. It's like grabbing the last straw.

"Don't be afraid, Niannian is not afraid." Gu Zhi immediately wrapped his other hand around the hand that was holding his so tightly that his veins were exposed, rubbed it gently, and comforted him in a low voice: "Little fox is here, little The fox accompanies Niannian and protects Niannian."

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi, gradually relaxed in the way he looked at himself, and then heaved a long sigh of relief.

Gu Zhi didn't know what he was thinking just now, but he knew it must be terrible, even scarier than those dreams Shen Nian had, because even when Shen Nian was dreaming, Gu Zhi had never seen such a terrified look on his face .He didn't ask Shen Nian what those things that frightened him were, but stepped forward and hugged Shen Nian in his arms:

"The little fox is here, don't be afraid, don't be afraid."

He patted Shen Nian again and again to comfort him, and Shen Nian slowly returned to normal under such comfort, and then withdrew from Gu Zhi's embrace:

"I'm all right."

Liang Qiu stood beside them for a while, not disturbing them, but his heart became more and more worried. The way Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian made him feel that something was wrong. He originally thought that Shen Nian was the one who was rational and calm enough among them, but no. Knowing whether it was the reason of Shen Chongshan's death that he desperately needed someone to rely on, or the reality was like this, Shen Nian was far more dependent on Gu Zhi than he imagined.

Liang Qiu is not very optimistic, and even thinks it is ridiculous, but at this time he can't say anything, and he can't even show a trace to let Shen Nian see that he has no way to let Shen Nian get out of the guilt and self-blame towards Shen Chongshan. , but absolutely should not give him new pressure at this time.

This is what Liang Qiu said to Gu Zhi before, and he also hoped that Gu Zhi could cover himself well and not show anything in front of Shen Nian.

Shen Nian was messed up enough.

When the three of them returned to Jianjia Lane, the sky was gloomy than before. Gu Zhi was obviously in a bad mood, but he still held Shen Nian's hand and tried his best to suppress it. For Shen Nian, he was trying to overcome himself. Fear of rainy days.

After the funeral was over, no one came to the Shen family. The small courtyard was quiet and messy everywhere. I didn’t notice it when there were too many people. Now there were only three of them left, and everything stood out, including the quiet .

Too quiet.

Shen Nian just glanced at it and started to tidy up the courtyard, from the inside to the outside, even the corners. Liang Qiu and Gu Zhi also helped, but Shen Nian stopped him:

"I'll just do it myself."

Gu Zhi wasn't going to obey, he didn't want and didn't want to let Shen Nian do this by himself, but Liang Qiu stopped him again, the same as before when he was in the field.

"What are you stopping me for?" Gu Zhi looked at him dissatisfied.

Liang Qiu sighed helplessly: "He obviously wants to ignore the fact that there is no more Uncle Shen in his familiar family by doing these things. If you do everything for him, what can he use to divert his attention?"

Gu Zhi was taken aback for a moment, seeing that Shen Nian who was tidying up in the courtyard did not say a word, Liang Qiu patted him on the shoulder:

"I know you care about Shen Nian very much, I can't even compare to you, but Gu Zhi, sometimes getting too close is not a good thing, look now, you can't see clearly what he wants like me, That’s how chaos comes from caring.”

Liang Qiu's words made Gu Zhi calm down, although he was not happy with Liang Qiu, but if what he said made sense, Gu Zhi would not resist.

When the two agreed to be together, Gu Zhi said that he would take care of Shen Nian. This was not a joke. In the past two years, Gu Zhi has also fulfilled his promise to Shen Nian. Much more than what Shen Nian gave him, it was a promise, but also a reluctance.

Shen Nian was accustomed by Gu Zhi to being more and more lazy in housework like a cat, and now he refuses to help himself like this, indeed, as Liang Qiu said, he is using this way of making himself busy to divert attention.

Gu Zhi sat on the porch of the north room and looked at Shen Nian. Although the rainy weather made him a little restless, Gu Zhi couldn't feel at ease with Shen Nian's appearance. On the contrary, as long as he looked at Shen Nian, he would not be so afraid.

It was already past three o'clock in the afternoon when it was finally cleaned up, and the rain still hadn't fallen. Shen Nian packed up the cleaning tools and swept around the small courtyard that had been restored to its original state, but his expression was more lonely than before.

He didn't let himself indulge in this, he took a change of clothes and went to take a bath, Gu Zhi was worried and sat at the door of the bathroom, Liang Qiu couldn't resist going to sleep in the room for a while, when he came out and saw the clean courtyard Shen Nian was nowhere to be seen, and he asked:

"What about people?"

Gu Zhi glanced at him and didn't say a word, Liang Qiu looked at Gu Zhi's position and became more sober, glanced at the time, and walked out the door:

"I'm going to buy something to eat."

Gu Zhi ignored him, sat against the wall, listened carefully to the sound inside, there was no other sound except the sound of water.

In fact, Gu Zhi would rather hear some cries. Ever since that indulgence in the morgue, Shen Nian has suppressed all his emotions in his heart and never let them out. It's okay for a few days, but no matter how long it takes Something will happen, Gu Zhi doesn't want to see that kind of thing happen.

But how should he let Nian Nian express his emotions?

Gu Zhi couldn't figure it out, since they got along well with Shen Nian, the two of them have never even quarreled, quarrels are rare, and Shen Nian has always been fine.

Because he has no experience, he doesn't even know how to do Gu Zhi now, but he can't just watch Shen Nian become more and more silent.

Gu Zhi was racking his brains outside the door, but there was a sound like falling from the bathroom. Gu Zhi's brain had no time to react, his body had already stood up and opened the bathroom door, Shen Nian was still standing under the shower , even the water was not turned off, the glass shelf on the wall seemed to have fallen off because of the age, and it was broken all over the floor.

"Is it hurt?" Gu Zhi walked over and without thinking, he bent down and hugged Shen Nian's thighs, picked him up like a child and put him on the side. She looked him up and down, but was stunned for a moment when she saw something with her downcast eyes.

He was flustered just now, but he didn't notice this problem at all, he didn't even realize that Shen Nian was not wearing any clothes, but now he met him so unexpectedly, Gu Zhi didn't know what he was thinking, but he subconsciously feel a little hot.

Even though this is not the first time he has seen it.

Maybe it's because Niannian is taking a bath, the temperature in the room is too high, that's why he feels getting hotter and hotter.

"I'm fine." Shen Nian said, but maybe his attention was not here, he didn't realize what was wrong, and he didn't even notice Gu Zhi's abnormal expression: "You go out first, I'll clean up after I'm done. .”

Gu Zhi came back to his senses, but he was not obedient. He took the rag and squatted down to collect all the broken glass together. Then he looked at him and said:

"Don't get hurt."

Shen Nian responded, but Gu Zhi didn't say anything else, his gaze involuntarily glanced down again before he stepped out.

But even if he came out, even if he couldn't see him anymore, Gu Zhi still had that picture in his mind, what's wrong with him, why can't he take his eyes off a man's things that he also has?

It was at this time that Liang Qiu called him outside the door. Gu Zhi was startled for a moment as if he had done something sinister. He cursed secretly and eased his breath before walking out. Then he saw Liang Qiu at the door. , not only bought food, but also brought back two packs of beer, and called Gu Zhi because it was too heavy to carry.

"You're sick and you actually buy wine?" Gu Zhi walked over.

"Little brother." Liang Qiu sat on one of the bags and looked at him: "Get drunk and relieve your worries, do you understand? By the way, why is your face so red? Your ears are also red, what are you doing?"

Gu Zhi was stunned for a moment, he didn't realize that he was blushing at all, but following Liang Qiu's words, he couldn't help but think of the scene he saw just now, but he quickly extinguished it, thinking of Shen Nian's appearance in front of other people made him feel ashamed. Gu Zhi felt uncomfortable.

Of course, it was impossible for him to reply to Liang Qiu's words, so he directly picked up one of the packs of beer and went into the small courtyard, warning Liang Qiu by the way: "You drink it by yourself."

Liang Qiu's movement of standing up was paused because of this sentence, and he replied:

"I didn't shit on it."

Gu Zhi wanted to smash the bag in his hand on his head.

When entering the north room, Shen Nian happened to come out of the bathroom, wearing only shorts and no shirt, Gu Zhi immediately frowned, put down the wine and walked over without saying a word, took off his T-shirt while walking, While standing in front of Shen Nian, he had already put the T-shirt on him.

Shen Nian put on his clothes almost without reacting.

"Nian Nian can't show it to others." Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian and said.

Liang Qiu walked in at this time. He also saw Gu Zhi's series of coquettish operations just now. In the past, he would have made a joke, but thinking about what he found worried these days, Liang Qiu shut up. , didn't say anything, after seeing Liang Qiu, Shen Nian realized why Gu Zhi was doing, nodded, and said:

"it is good."

"Hey." Liang Qiu couldn't hold back: "It's fine for the little pervert to say that, but you think I'm someone else?"

Shen Nian smiled lightly and didn't speak, walked back to the room to change clothes, when she came out she was already fully dressed, she threw Gu Zhi's clothes back to him, Gu Zhi took them and put them on.It was obviously the clothes he had worn just now, but miraculously, after Shen Nian wore them, he felt a little different. He even picked up the collar and smelled it, and there was a faint smell of shower gel.

Same as Nian Nian.

Liang Qiu bought wine to make Shen Nian drunk and relieve his worries, so from afternoon to night, the few people didn't talk much, but they drank the wine intermittently. Gu Zhi didn't drink it, not because he didn't want to, but because Liang Qiu said. Who will take care of Xiao Nian when he's drunk? He kept his sanity. Facts proved that Liang Qiu was right. It was the first time for Shen Nian to drink, and after drinking so much, he was so drunk that he touched a beer bottle. Spilled wine all over.

Liang Qiu is even more so, Shen Nian is still awake at least, but Liang Qiu is like a dead pig, Gu Zhi doesn't want to pay attention to Liang Qiu, but the wine is in Shen Nian's room, if he doesn't get away, he will be with him They slept together, but Gu Zhi didn't want to.

After moving Liang Qiu to Shen Chongshan's room and turning on the electric fan for him, Gu Zhi came back. Shen Nian still looked as if he had left by himself, sitting quietly by the bed, staring blankly at a certain place It's like losing your soul.

Originally thought that Shen Nian would cry and vent when she was drunk, but it turns out that Shen Nian is still the Shen Nian that everyone is familiar with when she is drunk.

Gu Zhi walked over and stood in front of him to take off his T-shirt, Shen Nian was very obedient, raising his hand when asked to raise his hand, lowering his head when asked.The trousers were also soaked by wine, Gu Zhi coaxed Shen Nian to lie down, and wanted to take off his trousers and change them, but his hands were all on the waistbands, but he stopped a second before the action, and he remembered The scene I saw in the bathroom before made my hands feel hot.

He raised his eyes and glanced at Shen Nian, but found that even though he was lying down, Shen Nian still didn't fall asleep. He stared blankly at the bed board above his head, not knowing what he was thinking. he:

"Near."

The focus of Shen Nian's gaze moved to Gu Zhi's face little by little, looking at him.

"The pants are wet, can I take them off and replace them with new ones for you? Otherwise, it will be uncomfortable."

Shen Nian's eyes were a little confused, as if he didn't quite understand what Gu Zhi said, but Gu Zhi's heart melted from seeing him.

"Take it off, okay? I gently."

"En." Shen Nian replied softly, if Gu Zhi hadn't been close enough to him, he probably wouldn't have heard it.

With Shen Nian's permission, Gu Zhi smiled, and put his hand on Shen Nian's trouser waist again. This time, he took off his trousers after hesitating for a second or two, and he couldn't avoid seeing that girl again. This time, the distance was closer than any other time, and then he found that Nian Nian's good looks turned out to be because every part of his body was beautiful, even this place was beautiful, and the color was also beautiful.

Gu Zhi could feel the heat spreading to his face little by little. Although the reason was unknown, Gu Zhi felt very happy.

Helping Shen Nian change clothes, Shen Nian still didn't intend to sleep, Gu Zhi wanted to wash the clothes he had changed, but seeing Shen Nian like this was not at ease, so he lay down beside him, stretched out his arms and hugged him :

"Sleep okay? I'll be with you."

After hearing the sound, Shen Nian was silent for a while before speaking out slowly. After drinking, his thinking became dull, and his speech speed was more than twice as slow: "I don't dare to sleep, I don't want to dream."

This reason for not sleeping caused Gu Zhi's heart to ache for a moment, he raised his hand to cover Shen Nian's eyes, and said softly: "I can't dream, Nian Nian can't dream, I will help you guard the gate of the dream world." , they can't get in."

Shen Nian's eyes blinked under his palm, itching so much that Gu Zhixin seemed to be scratched by a cat.

"Go to sleep, I won't dream, I promise." Gu Zhi said it again, and then kept repeating: "Little fox guards Nian Nian, they dare not come over, Nian Nian sleeps at ease..."

Shen Nian didn't speak any more, and he didn't blink his eyes anymore, maybe Gu Zhi's assurance and the repeated voice in his ear gave him the sense of security he wanted, Shen Nian fell asleep after a while.

Shen Nian fell asleep, but Gu Zhi didn't dare to sleep, so he kept patting him gently with his hands, and kept repeating the promise just now softly, so that Shen Nian could feel his own existence even when he fell asleep. It's useless, but you have to try it. It's time for his Nian Nian to get a good night's sleep, even if it's only for one day, just for a few hours.

He misses being able to relax.

Gu Zhi listened to Shen Nian's breathing, and when he calmed down a bit, he would relax, but as soon as there was a heavy trace, Gu Zhi would wake up immediately, then pat him and coax him until Shen Nian calmed down again.

At almost five o'clock in the morning, Shen Nian repeated his breathing all night and finally ushered in a relatively long period of peace. Gu Zhi couldn't hold on to sleep in this peace, he was still not sure about this. Was Shen Nian dreaming at night, but he was sure that he was dreaming, dreaming of Shen Nian in the bathroom and Shen Nian being changed by himself.

This time, he didn't behave properly, and even got used to it, but when he was about to touch him, something suddenly sounded in his ear, bringing him out of the dream.

Gu Zhi opened his eyes and before he had time to regret, he subconsciously checked Shen Nian's breathing state, and found that he was still breathing peacefully and fell asleep, so he breathed a sigh of relief, but before he could completely relax, he realized something, and suddenly lowered his head read on.

wet.